“No One Can Run From Themselves”
“But I knew better: No matter where you go, the past floods back. You can try like the dickens, but you can't escape fate.” - Michael Lee West
Branches slapped at Helena’s arms as she tore through the woods, lungs burning, the mud sucking at her boots. Up ahead, Luke’s voice cut through the thicket—“He’s moving east!”—and she pushed harder, adrenaline drowning out everything else.
The unsub was fast, his black duffel clutched tight against his side. A kill kit. Another goddamn kill kit.
“Stop!” JJ’s voice rang out behind her, sharp, commanding.
The unsub whirled, fired. The shot cracked through the trees, so close Helena felt the heat of the bullet cut past her shoulder. She dropped low, instinct taking over, heart hammering as bark exploded from the trunk beside her.
She scrambled back to her feet, chasing harder, refusing to let him vanish into the woods. Not again.
Ahead, the trees broke. An access road stretched like a thin grey scar through the forest, and parked just off the shoulder was a car, engine running. The unsub sprinted toward it, hauling the duffel into the passenger seat.
“Don’t let him go!” Luke yelled, bursting out of the tree line just behind Helena.
Two local squad cars screeched in from opposite ends of the road, boxing the getaway vehicle in before it could pull away. JJ emerged seconds later, shouting over the chaos: “No—don’t box him in! We need him alive!”
The unsub raised his weapon, and before the officers could react, the shot rang out. His body slumped forward against the wheel, crimson blooming against the windshield.
The woods fell silent except for the wail of sirens winding down.
Helena froze at the edge of the access road, chest heaving, her eyes locked on the duffel. Another kit. Another piece of a puzzle they were chasing blind.
Her pulse thudded in her ears as she stared at it. She could still feel the near miss of the bullet, still hear the echo of JJ’s desperate command. And over it all, like a second heartbeat, was Doug’s voice from days earlier: I love you. I want a life with you.
But that life, his promises, the warmth of him in bed—none of it fit against this. Against blood on the road, against kill kits and corpses, against betrayal dressed up as protection.
Helena’s throat tightened. She bent down, staring at the bag as if it might open its mouth and speak the truth. But all it did was sit there, mute and heavy, daring her to imagine what fresh horrors it contained.
She wasn’t just haunted by the man they’d lost today. She was haunted by the one still out there—the shadow network’s architect. And by the gnawing, jagged fact that the one person she trusted most had already stabbed her in the back.
The laptop screen glared back at Elias Voit, the red numbers almost taunting him.
He stared at it, jaw tight, irritation buzzing under his skin. He hated the weakness of it, the smallness. Predators didn’t get overdrawn. Predators didn’t count pennies.
A knock rattled the front door.
He slammed the laptop shut, smoothed his face into something neighbourly, and opened it to find Hal standing there, his son Chad hovering with a stack of glossy brochures.
“Sorry to bother you, Mr Voit” Chad mumbled nervously through his clearly rehearsed speech. “Uh, but the lacrosse team is doing their annual fundraiser for this year’s training trip, and I was wondering if you might need any magazine subscriptions?”
Voit shook his head. “You know, we actually get most of our news online nowadays. So I think we’re good.”
“Uh, thanks anyway” Chad stammered as he turned to walk away.
“Oh, for Christ’s sake” Hal interrupted as he clapped a heavy hand on his son’s shoulder. “We talked about this son. You gotta assert yourself. Come on, Voit. It’s for the kids. Where’s your team spirit?”
Voit’s smile stayed in place, but his mind was elsewhere. This morning, he’d tried. He really had. He’d been “Dad.” He’d helped Harlow adjust her grip on the basketball, his hands guiding hers until she landed her shot. He’d listened as Holly tried to outtalk her way around the vaping accusation, her teenage bravado masking fear. For a moment, he almost believed he could play the part. That normal was possible.
“Let me take a look,” Voit sighed as he flicked through the bundle of brochures Chad handed him.
Hal rolled his eyes and laughed. “What are you looking for, Good Housekeeping? Just pick the one with the football phone and move on”
But now, with Hal standing there—so smug, so pushy—all Voit could picture was a rock in his hand. The dull, satisfying crunch as it connected with Hal’s skull. Blood spraying across the porch. Hal collapsing like a sack of meat while Chad’s wide, horrified eyes reflected Voit’s triumph.
The images came vivid, graphic, alive: the wet sound of bone splitting, the desperate last gasp, the sudden, godlike silence after.
Power. Thrill. Worship of himself as the arbiter of life and death.
He closed the door as Hal and Chad left his driveway, the click of the lock sharp and final.
His pulse was racing. His skin buzzed. He needed to feed the itch.
He moved into the garage, the smell of oil and dust greeting him like an old friend. Fishing under the workbench, he pulled out the kill kit, opened it, and lifted the secret phone from its hiding place.
With a few practiced taps, the screen came alive, connecting to the video feed.
There was Moose, the stolen dog, chained inside one of the containers. The camera picked up the animal’s nervous pacing.
Voit queued up a piece of classical music—strings, elegant and deliberate. He turned up the volume.
The dog’s ears flattened. The growl started low, bubbling up into sharp, frantic barking. Moose lunged at the chain, teeth snapping, froth collecting at the corners of his mouth.
Voit smiled. The project was working. The music was the trigger, the leash around the dog’s brain.
Soon, he’d have a weapon of his own making.
The elevator hummed, its slow ascent matching the steady rhythm of Helena’s pulse. She leaned back against the mirrored wall, arms crossed, the reflection staring back at her with hollow eyes.
Her mind refused to quiet. The unsub in the woods. The duffel. Another kit that proved the nightmare was bigger than they thought. She’d stared at it, at the weight of what it meant, and all she could think was how it would never end.
She’d never had comfort. Not really. Just control, just order, just walls she’d stacked around herself, brick by brick, since childhood. But somehow Doug had slipped through—his voice, his hands, the way he looked at her like she was someone worth loving. He had made her believe, just for a moment, that she could be normal.
And then she learned the truth.
The elevator chimed, the doors sliding open. Helena stepped out, eyes forward, focused, already trying to shove her feelings back into the box where she kept everything else.
Helena stopped. A woman in her mid fifties was standing near the hallway, clutching a frayed leather purse to her chest. Her eyes were red, rimmed from crying, but burning with desperate hope.
“Are you the agent? The one who found the container in Seattle? The one on the Sicarius case?”
Helena froze, her voice low and careful. “Uh, I’m sorry, who are you?”
The woman stepped closer, words tumbling out. “Have you identified the bodies yet? Please. My daughter—she went missing in 2007. If she’s in there—if she’s one of them—I need to know.”
“I’m sorry,” Helena whispered, her voice catching. “You need to wait in the family room. Someone will update you as soon as they can.”
The woman gestured towards the packed family room at the end of the corridor. “I have been waiting in the family room with all these people for hours now”
The words hit Helena like a blade slipping between her ribs.
For a split second, the hallway tilted. Her vision blurred, not with tears but with memory—faces, so many faces, all flickering past her like the pages of a grotesque photo album. Her father’s victims. The girl in the box. The blood in the basement. Names and screams pressed into her mind, ghostly fingerprints she would never scrub clean.
She should have stopped him sooner. She should have said something. She should have done anything.
The woman’s face crumpled. Helena turned quickly, her chest tightening as if iron bands were closing around her ribs. The guilt gnawed with familiar teeth.
Every silence she had swallowed as a child.
Every missed chance to stop her father sooner.
She carried those ghosts into the hallway, her pulse thrumming, when Doug’s voice cracked through her spiralling thoughts:
He strode toward her, his expression etched with concern. “I heard what happened in the field—the unsub fired at you?”
Helena stopped, turned slightly, but her face was cool, unreadable. “Something like that.”
He frowned, closing the distance, stopping just short of grabbing her by the arms. “Don’t do that with me. Don’t minimise it. A bullet missed you by inches. You could’ve been killed.”
Helena’s arms folded almost reflexively. “I wasn’t.”
Doug searched her eyes, his worry plain, but she couldn’t meet it. Not when her chest still burned with betrayal. Not when she remembered him standing at a table, calling the BAU wasteful, undermining everything she lived for.
He thought she didn’t know. He thought she hadn’t put the pieces together. But she had. And every time she looked at him now, all she saw was the deception under the softness.
“Helena,” he said quietly, almost pleading, “If something had happened to you…” He let the sentence trail off, his gaze sharp with unspoken fear.
She shifted her weight, forcing a polite, professional smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “I’ve got a briefing to get to.”
And she walked past him before he could say anything more.
Doug stood there, staring after her, confusion and frustration mingling in his features.
Inside, though, the ache throbbed like a wound that wouldn’t close.
The round table hummed with the low whir of laptops and the stale smell of too much coffee clinging to the air. Helena sat rigid, her notebook open but untouched, her mind still replaying the woods, the flash of the bullet, Doug’s voice in the hall.
“Well, well, well,” Garcia announced, sweeping in with her usual flare. “It is so nice to see my fine, furry friends again.” She set her laptop down, her bangles jingling as she added with a grin, “Did I ever tell you about the time the hot dog filter went haywire during a SoAR meeting?”
Her laugh hung in the air.
“Ohhh,” Garcia said softly, her smile faltering. “Right. We can only talk about sad things in here.”
Rossi leaned forward, his voice dry, cutting. “What have you got on this fuckhead?”
“By fuckhead,” Helena said quietly, “He means Sicarius.”
Rossi shook his head. “I’m not giving this jag off the satisfaction of a name.”
Garcia cleared her throat, clicking her mouse. “Okay, well. I was able to uncover a hidden messaging app on each of the unsubs’ phones—the suicides. That, in turn, helped me trace them to a discussion platform Sicarius has been using to coordinate. This is how they’re talking to each other. How they’re moving in sync.”
“How does he even find them?” Rossi asked.
“Considering the pandemic,” Tara said, folding her arms, “He shifted from actively killing to finding others who would. Most of the recruitment likely happened online.”
Luke frowned. “But getting serial killers to kill themselves? That’s… not nothing. A suicide pact takes leverage. He’d need something intimate. Something to make them fold.”
JJ nodded. “We’ve seen how isolation and fear can radicalise people. Push them into extremes. He’s tapping into that same vulnerability.”
Helena’s pen hovered over the page. Her voice came low, almost reluctant. “He’s a profiler. That’s what he’s doing. He profiles his victims… and now he profiles his followers.”
Luke glanced at her. “So what are we looking at? A cult leader?”
“Maybe,” Rossi said, his gaze sharp, thoughtful. “Or maybe he thinks he’s an artist. The kill kits are his paintbrushes. He’s teaching the next generation how to paint with blood.”
The word teaching snapped her back—years folding in on themselves, the smell of antiseptic and old books. She was small again, perched at the edge of her father’s study as he traced lines across a human anatomy book.
“The cleanest incisions,” he murmured, guiding her finger along the page. “Precision, Helena. It’s all about precision.”
He’d sent her upstairs after, told her to brush her teeth and get into bed. But instead she’d padded down the basement stairs, heart racing, the shadows heavy with secrets.
Blood stained the floor. Tools glittered under a single dangling bulb. Her small hand reached for a pair of pliers, curiosity a thin tremor in her chest—
Then the chemical-soaked cloth covered her mouth. The sickly sweet sting filled her lungs as her father’s hand pressed down, darkness rushing in to take her….
“How do we shut him down?”
JJ’s voice snapped her back. She blinked, the fluorescent lights of the BAU flooding her vision.
Tara leaned forward. “Luke and I will start with the kill kits. Whoever manufactured them, wherever they’re sourced—that could give us a thread. A profile of the supply chain might tell us where the network will strike next.”
“Then let’s get on it,” Rossi said, firm.
But Luke raised a hand. “Hold up. Elephant in the room—this is bigger than anything we’ve touched in years. And we all know it. Which means we’ve all got a target painted on our backs. Deputy Director Bailey wants this guy.”
Rossi’s jaw hardened. “We’re not going anywhere yet.”
Around the table, eyes flicked between one another, the tension sharp, unspoken.
Helena sat quietly, her pen unmoving. Every part of her life—her past, her father, her lover, this case—was bleeding together, staining everything it touched.
And she couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began.
The meeting broke, chairs scraping against the floor, the team filing out with assignments and tension etched into their faces. Helena gathered her notebook, but didn’t move. She waited until the room emptied, until even the hum of Garcia’s voice down the hall faded, before finally standing.
The corridors of Quantico stretched long and quiet, her footsteps soft against the tile. She slipped into an empty office—dark except for the morning light bleeding through the closed blinds.
Helena dropped into the chair and pressed her palms into her eyes. Behind her lids came the flicker of the video—the kill kits, the recruitments, Sicarius pulling strings like some phantom puppeteer. But layered over it, uninvited, came her father. His voice. His steady hands guiding her small ones over anatomy diagrams. His breath against her hair as the chloroform stole her consciousness.
Precision, Helena. It’s all about precision.
Her stomach twisted. She’d thought she’d buried those lessons years ago. But here she was, an adult, an FBI agent, circling another monster teaching others how to kill. The same pattern, repeating. Her father’s shadow stretching across her life no matter how far she ran.
And Doug—God, Doug. She clenched her fists. He’d looked at her in that hallway with genuine concern, fear even, but all she could taste was betrayal. He was positioning himself while she bled for this work. Smiling at her in bed while playing politics against her unit. Against her.
Her right palm ached suddenly, phantom pain radiating from the old scar where the blade had cut deep as she killed her father to save herself. She rubbed at it, hard, as if she could erase both the scar and the man who put it there.
She whispered to the dark, her voice low, raw: “I’m not him. I’m not him.”
But doubt lingered, curling like smoke in her chest.
Helena sat back, staring at the ceiling, the silence pressing heavy. Every part of her life felt contaminated—her work, her love, even her memories. She’d joined the BAU to fight men like her father, but the further she dug, the more she wondered if she was still trying to fight herself.
Her phone buzzed on the desk, Doug’s name lighting up the screen.
Voit sat at the kitchen table, the overhead light casting a sterile glow across the laminate. His coffee had gone cold, untouched. He scrolled absently through his phone, half his mind on encrypted messages, half on the restless itch under his skin.
The front door swung open, footsteps tumbling into the house. Sydney’s laugh echoed as the girls charged in.
“Hey, how did the game go?” Voit said, forcing warmth into his tone.
Harlow tossed her school bag onto the counter. “We won. But that’s not ‘the news’.”
“Dad!” Holly called, bounding over to him, grinning from ear to ear. “I got in! Daddy, I got in!”
She threw her arms around his neck, hugging tight. “Braxton Academy! They sent the letter today!”
He froze for half a beat, confusion flashing before he pasted on a smile. “Braxton Academy,” he repeated, like tasting unfamiliar words.
Sydney stepped into the kitchen, setting her keys on the counter. “You remember—we applied last spring? She’s been waiting for months.”
Holly pulled back, beaming. “They send twenty percent of their students straight to the Ivy League, Dad.”
Voit’s mouth went dry. He forced out a laugh, stammering. “That’s—uh—wow. Congratulations.”
She squealed, darting off with Harlow, the two of them immediately dissolving into their usual bickering.
Sydney lingered by the counter, watching him.
He exhaled, the smile slipping. “Private school’s expensive.”
“We promised her,” Sydney reminded him gently. “If she got the grades and the acceptance, we’d make it happen.”
Voit pinched the bridge of his nose. “Lockdown burned through most of our savings.”
“We’ll figure it out.” She offered him a small, determined smile, then followed the girls down the hall.
Left alone, Voit sat heavily at the table, his hand tightening around the coffee mug until the ceramic bit into his palm.
It pressed in on him from all sides: the bills, the image of perfect husband and father, the itch that normal life could never satisfy. And now, the spectre of tuition.
He stared at the dark reflection in the mug, his jaw clenching.
The only time he ever felt free—ever felt like himself—wasn’t here in this kitchen. It wasn’t under Sydney’s gaze or in the laughter of his daughters.
And now the walls of normalcy were closing tighter, demanding more from him, squeezing until something had to give.
The tech room was dim except for the glow of Garcia’s screens, a kaleidoscope of windows and code reflecting in her oversized glasses. Helena sat forward in her chair, elbows braced against her knees, JJ leaning beside her with arms crossed.
“Okay, so,” Garcia began, spinning in her chair with a flourish. “Robert Harris’s phone was like a digital nesting doll. Surface level? Pretty boring—calendar, grocery lists, the usual password-protected selfies. But hidden under a weather app—bam! Secret portal to the underworld.”
JJ raised a brow. “How hidden are we talking?”
“Buried six layers deep, my love. Think Russian dolls, but evil.” Garcia tapped a key and a chat window filled the largest monitor. Black background, scrolling text, usernames that meant nothing until they did.
Helena leaned closer. “This is what they used to communicate?”
“Yup.” Garcia nodded. “And here’s the kicker—our three dearly departed unsubs? Rory Gilchrist, Robert Harris, Sam Pollard? They all chatted with one user in particular. User 45125.”
The room went quiet except for the hum of the servers.
Helena’s voice was steady, but low. “Is this Sicarius?”
Garcia tapped a key, highlighting the user’s handle in red. “If it’s not, then he’s some sort of terrible Yoda for serial killers. Every conversation, every breadcrumb, they circle back to him. He’s not just lurking. He’s guiding.”
JJ studied the screen, her jaw tight. “He’s grooming them. Building trust, pushing them further down the path until they’re too deep to back out.”
Helena’s pen clicked in her hand. She thought of her father. His calm voice. The way he’d guided her, too, until she couldn’t tell where his intentions ended and hers began.
“He profiles them,” Helena said softly. “Not just their fantasies, but their weaknesses. He knows exactly what string to pull. Exactly how to break them down and build them back up.”
Garcia tilted her head, watching her. “You sound like you’ve met him.”
Helena blinked, realising too late the rawness in her tone. She straightened in her chair. “No. Just… I know the type.”
JJ cut in before Garcia could press. “So, how do we trace 45125?”
Garcia spread her hands. “Easier said than done. He’s slippery. VPN chains, encrypted messages, the digital equivalent of twenty fake moustaches. But…” She smirked. “You know me. I love a challenge.”
Helena kept her gaze fixed on the scrolling screen. The red-highlighted 45125 pulsed like a heartbeat.
If this was Sicarius, then this was her father’s shadow all over again. A teacher. A manipulator. Someone who knew how to reach inside and twist a person until they bent to his will.
And Helena knew, deep down, that he wouldn’t stop until he got to her, too.
The day had bled him dry.
First the boss’s tight-lipped dismissal—downsizing, cutbacks, your role is redundant. Then another tense run-in with Hal out by the curb. The neighbour had that smug, infuriating grin plastered across his face, acting like he was the king of the cul-de-sac. Voit had smiled back, polite, measured, while every nerve in his body screamed to pick up a rock and smash Hal’s skull until it caved in like wet plaster.
He carried that fantasy into the house, each step heavier than the last. Fired. Undercut. Disrespected. And all the while the itch under his skin kept building.
By the time he slumped at the desk in his garage, the urge was unbearable. He pulled out his phone and opened the encrypted line.
The reply came in seconds, the voice distorted but eager. “That suicide in Virginia. The guy in the woods. Was he one of ours?”
“Good. That means it’s my turn next.”
“No?” Benjamin’s voice sharpened. “You promised. You said if I paid you, I could cut the line, jump ahead.”
Voit’s fingers drummed on the desk. “We’ve had a setback.”
“I know. I saw the news. First the Feds dig up your little treasure chest, then they find your transponders. That’s not my problem.”
“It is your problem,” Voit snapped. “Because the more they uncover, the more these amateurs stop following the rules. And the more loose ends I have to tie up.”
A long pause, then Benjamin chuckled low. “Then I hope you’ve got a good exit strategy.”
Voit’s lips curled. “I do. By the time the FBI figure out anything, this network will be ashes. Erased. Like it never existed.”
Benjamin let that sit, then shifted. “Speaking of the FBI… there’s something you should see.”
A file appeared in the secure chat. Voit opened it—and froze.
A dating profile. Beltway Elite. Helena Bishop.
He scrolled, scanning her profile photo, the polished language—professional, guarded, but vulnerable in its own way. Then the messages. Long exchanges with Doug Bailey. Doug joking, confident, all bureaucratic charm. Helena’s replies more clipped, careful, but still… warm.
Voit’s grip on the phone tightened.
Something hot and acidic curled in his gut. Jealousy. Irritation. A pulse of possessiveness he hadn’t expected.
This was supposed to be his game. His discovery. Helena wasn’t meant to be tangled up with some smug bureaucrat who saw her as just another rung on his ladder.
He doesn’t see it. Doesn’t see her. Doesn’t see what she is.
Voit leaned back, staring at the screen, his breath slow, deliberate. Bailey saw a woman he could tame. A bedfellow. A prize.
The scar on her palm. The father who carved her childhood into a horror story. The darkness she carried like a second skin.
And the idea of Doug Bailey having her—holding her—ignited something cold and sharp in Voit’s chest.
No. Bailey didn’t deserve her.
Voit’s thumb hovered over the messages, scrolling slowly, deliberately, like each word carried weight.
Yes, Helena was beautiful. The photos made that obvious—the kind of sharp, arresting beauty that turned heads in a crowd. But beauty alone had never interested him. He could buy beauty in a glossy magazine, or pass it on the street a dozen times a day. Beauty was skin-deep, fleeting.
No, what gripped him about Helena Bishop was what lay beneath.
He studied her eyes in the profile photo, the slight tension in her smile. The way her messages with Bailey seemed careful, deliberate, as though every word was measured, rationed out. She was always holding something back.
Because inside, she carried rot. Darkness. A childhood steeped in blood and chloroform. She wasn’t normal, not really—not after being forced to stab her own father to survive. How could anyone return from that intact?
Voit leaned back in his chair, the phone burning hot in his hand.
That was the attraction. Not the surface, not the FBI badge or the sharp jawline. It was the damage. The way she had been twisted by violence yet somehow held herself upright. A mirror image—different paths, same shadow.
Doug Bailey thought she was some delicate thing to be protected, polished into a wife-shaped accessory. That was laughable. Bailey was blind to what really mattered.
And what he saw was someone not unlike himself. Someone who’d tasted darkness early, someone who had killed, someone who couldn’t escape what she was.
Beautiful, yes. But that was incidental. The real beauty was the monster curled deep inside her, waiting.
The bullpen was silent, the overhead fluorescents dimmed to half-power. Screens glowed with data, the Sicarius forum still open where Garcia had left it. JJ had tapped Helena’s shoulder on the way out, muttering “Don’t stay too late,” and Garcia had waved, but Helena barely noticed.
She sat alone at the round table now, laptop open, case files spread around her like a fortress. Her eyes burned from hours of scanning, but she couldn’t stop. She didn’t dare.
The door creaked. Footsteps.
“Still here?” Doug’s voice cut through the silence. He stood in the doorway, jacket slung over one shoulder, tie loosened.
Helena didn’t look up. “Still here.”
He crossed to the table, glancing over the mess of files. “Are you ready to leave? I can meet you downstairs in the parking lot.”
“I’m going to work on.” Her tone was clipped.
Doug’s brow furrowed. “It’s past midnight. That’s ridiculous, Helena. You’re not going to catch this Sicarius in the next hour. Pulling an all-nighter isn’t going to help.”
She finally looked up, her eyes cold. “And this obsession of yours with budgets and optics is healthy?”
He stiffened. “That’s not fair. I’m worried about you. This case—”
“When were you planning to tell me?” she cut in.
Doug brow furrowed. “Tell you what?”
“That you’re trying to reassign me to Domestic Terrorism.”
The pause was short, but she saw it — the flicker in his eyes, the faint stiffening in his shoulders before the calm settled back over his face.
“Don’t,” she cut in. “Don’t tell me it’s not true. I know about the memo. I know about the plan to gut the BAU, and I know exactly where I fit into that plan.”
He dragged a hand through his hair, frustration bleeding through. “I was going to tell you. I just… wanted to do it the right way.”
Her laugh was brittle. “The right way would have been telling me the minute you knew.”
Doug leaned on the table, lowering his voice. “I’m doing this for you. This job, chasing people like your father—it’s not a healthy outlet. I’ve seen what it does to people. And with your history—”
“My history,” she snapped, rising to her feet, “is exactly why I’m good at this job. You don’t get to decide what’s healthy for me.”
He met her glare, his own voice rising. “I think I get to care about you. I think I get to look at the way you throw yourself into every case, this one especially, like you’re trying to exorcise something and wonder how long before this job breaks you?”
Her jaw clenched. “It’s not your decision.”
“I’m not trying to make it for you.” His voice cracked now, desperation leaking through. “I’m trying to give you an out before this place eats you alive and you turn into your—”
He stopped dead, the word hanging between them like a noose.
Her stomach dropped, blood rushing in her ears. “Go on,” she whispered. “Say it. Before I turn into my father.”
Doug’s face collapsed with regret, but it was too late. She saw it in his eyes—the thought had already been there.
For a moment the silence felt like it might shatter both of them.
The silence pressed in, heavy as lead. Doug’s mouth opened, like he wanted to take it back, to say something softer—but the damage was already done.
Helena’s chair scraped sharply against the floor as she shoved it back. She grabbed her jacket from the table and shrugged into it with jerky movements.
“Helena—” Doug’s voice was low, pained.
She rounded on him, eyes like steel. “Don’t. You don't get to use him as your excuse. You don't get to decide what I can and can't handle because you're afraid of what's in my DNA."
“Helena, that’s not what I—”
But she was already striding for the door. “Save it.”
The door banged shut behind her, the echo cutting through the quiet like a gunshot.
Helena’s boots hit the corridor floor hard, every step rattling up her spine. Her chest felt tight, like there wasn’t enough air in the whole damn building.
The words clawed at her, pulling up memories she’d spent her whole adult life trying to bury. Her father’s voice in her ear. You’re my daughter. You’re just like me. The weight of the knife in her hand. The scar seared across her palm.
She pressed that scar against her thigh as she walked, as if the pain could ground her, could keep her from splintering apart.
The part that stuck wasn't the fight. It was the way Doug had said it - before you turn into... — like he'd caught himself too late. Like he'd been thinking it for longer than he wanted to admit.
By the time she reached the elevator, her throat burned and her eyes stung, but no tears came. She swallowed hard, forcing herself back into the mask, into the armour.
The elevator doors slid shut, sealing her in with her ghosts.