I kept having these nightmares that I was in this long, endless, monotonous waiting line. It never ended, and I never left the same place. And then when I woke up, it was dawn, and the sun appeared shyly on my window. I haven’t left my house for a week, and I thought if I looked straight into the sun, it would consume me. But then I felt this pain on my chest, as if something was pressing it. And it increased, to the point there was the feeling of something like a knife, or an arrow, ripping me apart, opening me. I longed for my death a really long time. I thought it had finally arrived. It was the feeling of something passing through me and breaking the bond that held me captive. And it was a pain so fascinating that it made me laugh and cry at the same time, and I didn't want it to end. And I felt free.
