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@missunderst-hood
This is how I feel about him
I Still Love You {c.h}
Part 2 of Do You Love Me?
Warnings : angst + angsty fluff??, insinuations of sex, smoking, mentions of alcohol and drinking, mentions of cheating (TW)
Summary : 2 months after your breakup with Calum, he realises the consequences of his actions and tries to make amends but heâs a little too late.
Requested : yes by anon 1 : Is it possible to do a part 2 where he realizes his feelings for the other woman dont travel beyond curiosity but then when he comes back for y/n sheâs already found someone else? And anon 2 : PART 2 TO DO YOU LOVE ME WHEN HE REALISES HES A PIECE OF SHIT PLEASE
A/N : I had to change it up a little as always, but youâll love it, promise!!
Taglist : @lurhemmings @nostalgia-luke @sainthoodcalum @cxddlyash @shot-of-truth @mxre-calum @rosecth @rexorangecouny @irwinsvalentine @uncrownedqueeen @missunderst-hood
Calum woke up to the feeling of bare skin brushing against his and the soft feelings of lips on his cheek. He opened his eyes to meet the gaze of another, smiling down at him. His vision of her was still blur when he moved his hands down her back and onto her ass, and it became clear after he blinked twice. Her features came into view and the first thing he saw were her eyes, a dark shade of green and the freckles on her cheekbones.
âGood morning, handsome,â she said and he broke into a smile at her words.
âGood morning,â he responded and gave her ass a gentle squeeze. âDid you sleep well?â He asked and rolled over to his side, causing the girl in his arms to fall next to him in a soft thud on the bed.
âI did,â she hummed but her smile faltered after a few seconds.
âWhat is it?â Calum questioned and pulled her close by her waist.
âMy flight is in 4 hours,â she said, dissapointed. Her fingers lazily ran through the locks above his forehead. âCanât believe the week went by like that,â
Calum tensed at her actions. The hand that was rubbing circles on her back froze and his mind immediately filled with the image of you laying in bed next to him, smiling sleepily and running your fingers through his curly fringe, just like this other girl was doing at this time. He remembered the mornings of silence he spent with you where you two would face each other, admiring the features adorning your faces and how your hand would instinctively reach out to his hair.
âThank you so much for flying me out to LA to visit you Calum,â she said and leaned in to kiss him. Calum blinked back into reality and pulled away from her touch. An immediate look of confusion plastered all over her face. âWhatâs wrong?â
âOhâŚitâs just I havenât brushed my teeth yet,â he faked laugh and she smiled and shook her head at what she saw to be silliness. Calum then proceeded to sit up on the bed and put on a pair of boxers that was lying on the floor from the night before. He stood up and walked to the bathroom, feeling her eyes on his back the whole way. He shut the door behind him and locked it. After he brushed his teeth, Calum gripped the edges of the sink and ducked his head, breathing out a sigh. When he exited the bathroom, he saw her hold up his blue button up flannel.
âCalum, is it okay if I wear this?â
Calum stood, leaning on the door frame of the kitchen watching you do a little dance as you made breakfast in his blue flannel. Rumour Has It by Adele was playing from your phone speakers his mouth broke out into a big grin watching you dramatically singing to the bridge. As the song approached the last chorus he made his way over to you, unbeknownst to you.
âRumour has it!â Calum sang with you and you jumped in shock and let out a âoh my Godâ in surprise. He laughed and walked over to lower the volume on your phone. When he turned back, you were playfully glaring at him - who was still laughing. âOh, Iâm sorry, did I scare you, _______?â He teased and you rolled your eyes.
âWhere did you find that shirt?â Calum asked her, taking a few steps towards her.
âOh I found it in your cupboard and it doesnât look like it still fits you so I was wondering if I could wear it?â
Calum walked into your shared bedroom, the afternoon after you left. His feet and heart felt heavy. His stomach was churning with guilt and he felt like crying but he was far from tears. His eyes scanned the now half empty room that was once, full of life and love. The space surrounded by the four walls that held the all the secrets between you two. His gaze landed on a piece of blue fabric at the end of the bed. He walked closer to it and picked it up with his hands. It was his blue flannel. You used to wear it to sleep every night, even when Calum was around. He always thought you looked wonderful in it. He brought it up to his nose and his heart sank at the smell of you that was still fresh. You had worn it just the night before, when you and Calum broke up. A tear slipped from his cheek at the realisation that it was less than 12 hours ago. He had never seen anyone look so crushed before. He never wanted to hurt you this way. He carefully folded the shirt and placed it under some clothes in the cupboard, so he wouldnât see it and remember how he broke your heart and how much he hated himself for it.
âNo, Iâm sorry, you canât wear it,â he took the shirt from her hands and placed it back in the cupboard, giving it a lingering gaze.
âOhâŚum Iâll wear something else then,â she brushed it off and wore one of her own shirts instead.
âDo you want me to make you breakfast? I make a killer omelette,â Calum winked, pushing the thought of you as far back into his mind as he could.
âI actually donât like eggs,â she laughed. âThank you though. Iâll just eat some cereal or something,â she added.
*
Calum came home to an empty house after dropping his girlfriend, well, ex-girlfriend off at the airport. He sat on the couch and ran his fingers through his hair multiple times before frustratingly pulling off his t-shirt and tossing it on the floor.
âWhy do I keep thinking of her?â He thought and lighted a cigarette, placing it between his lips leaning back on the couch as the smoke escaped his mouth in a grey cloud. You hated when he smoked, especially indoors. âIâm sorry, ___________â he mumbled and took another puff.
Calum parked in the airport parking lot and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel nervously as he sighed.
âAre you okay?â She asked from beside him, placing her hand on his shoulder. Calum took her hands gently.
âI think we need to talkâŚ,â he started, watching her expression changed. âI had a great week with you butâŚ,â
âYou donât think itâs going to work out?â She finished the sentence for him. Calum looked away from her eyes and at the pair of hands he was holding. He didnât know what to say next.
âIâm sorryâŚâ was all he managed to choke out. She pulled her hands apart and tilted his chin up to look at her.
âThereâs no need to apologise, Calum. I am a bit disappointed but sometimes you canât force feelings to be felt when they donât demand to. Iâm sorry too,â she said quickly but gently. She pulled her hands away and offered one last smile to him, who stared back, absorbing her words. âFor what itâs worth though..,â she added, picking up her bag. âThe last one and a half months we had were really fun,â she leaned in for a final embrace which Calum returned in content. âTake care, Calâ she said and exited the car, getting the luggage from the booth and walking away.
The sound of wall clock ticking and Calumâs soft, shallow breathing seemed so loud in the emptiness of his house. 2 beer bottles lay on the floor next to the couch along with papers filled with his messy handwriting, crumpled into balls. His guitar was placed lazily in his lap as he strummed random chords.
âIâm so stupidâŚ,â he sighed out and placed the guitar on the floor. He lay back on the couch, covering his eyes with his forearm and allowing his memories of you to consume his mind.
He remembered the way you would wake up in the middle of the night to the sound of his keyboard and make two cups of coffee, sitting with him as he wrote songs. You would give your opinions and ideas and sometime into the AM, you would fall asleep on the table. He would carry you to bed and place a kiss on your forehead but before he could leave you, you would drag him to bed sleepily.
âSleep,â youâd say, barely keeping your eyes open and Calum would oblige climbing into bed next to you and holding you close.
He got up from the couch and grabbed his t-shirt from the floor, tossing it on and walking to the front door where he left his shoes. He slipped them on, took his keys and phone from the table and exited his house, locking the door behind him.
You were sat on Calumâs car, his arm securely around your shoulders. You two were facing the sun that had just started to set. He turned to look at you, the orange hue giving your face a gentle glow. You were talking about something that happened at work but he paid more attention to the way your lips moved and the sound of your voice. He reached over and gently turned your head to him. You had barely hummed in response before he pressed his lips to yours in a passionate and loving kiss. You kissed him back and sank into his touch. When you pulled apart, Calum smiled.
âI love you, _________â
He stopped in front of your house. He had made an assumption, hoping you still lived there and sighed in relief when he saw your car. He stepped out and made his way to your front door. He stood in front of it for a little while, debating and contemplating his actions in his mind. He clenched his fist and held it inches away from the door. He pictured your reaction, opening the door to see him. He wondered if you would forgive him. He wondered if you would take him back, if he begged hard enough. âI canât beg you to love me. It isnât fair to you and it isnât fair to myselfâŚâ He remembered the pained expression on your face the night you broke up and made a silent promise to himself that heâll never make you feel that way ever again and do everything he can to get it right as he stood in front of your door. He knocked thrice and dropped his hand to his side, placing the both of them in his pockets immediately to stop them from shaking. He stared at his feet and felt his heart pounding in his ears. The door opened and he looked up to meet the eyes of someone that wasnât you.
âMay I help you?â He asked. Calumâs heart sank. Had you already found someone new this quickly?
âYes, um.. can I speak to ________ please?â He asked, trying to keep his voice steady. As if on cue, you appeared next to your boyfriend.
âWhoâs at the door, ba- ohâ you froze, seeing Calum standing there. You never thought youâd see him again and you never expected to. And above all, you definitely didnât want to. Because you knew if you did, youâd be reminded of everything that ruined your relationship. You stared at him. He looked horrible. His hair was messy and his eyes were dull and lifeless. He searched your gaze for any signs that told him you were happy to see him but all there was were surprise and pain. Those pained eyes, he still remembered.
âYeah, he says he wants to talk to you, do you know him?â Your boyfriend, asked and you blinked yourself back into the current moment.
âYes I do. Could you give us a minute please?â You looked up at him and placed a hand on his arm, giving him a nod and smile. Your boyfriend gave Calum a long, skeptical look before retreating back into your house as you stepped out, closing the door behind you. You and Calum looked at each other, without saying anything, both of you processing the reality.
âHi,â he breathed out after a while.
âHi,â you said back, still unable to fathom that Calum was standing in front of you.
âIs that your boyfriend?â He asked and you nodded, not being able to say âyesâ, seeing the expression on his face. âHow long have you been together?â
âAbout a month,â you avoided his eyes. Those brown eyes you loved so much.
Calumâs heart sank. He expected a lot of different scenarios but the idea of you moving on had been the last thing on his mind. He wanted you to be happy, more than ever but somehow he wished you stayed hurt until he realised his mistakes. At the same time, he knew you deserved better. You deserved someone who would never lie to you and never hurt you, the way he did.
âAre you happy with him?â He asked, taking a step towards you. Does he make you happier than I did?
âWhy are you here?â You responded, finally looking at him. He didnât answer and repeated his question.
âTell me, __________. Are you happy with him?â Do you miss me? Tears started to form in his eyes and you took a deep breath, biting the inside of your lip.
âWhy do you want to know? You have no right being here, Calum. What are you trying to do?â You asked, scrunching your eyebrows in frustration.
âBecause I still love you!â He exclaimed and your expression changed to one of shock. âI know I shouldnât be here telling you this, after what I did and I know I was dick. I was an asshole. Iâm a piece of shit I know but every single vein in my body hurts with guilt, __________, I love you and Iâm sorry,â the tears started flowing down his cheeks. He wiped them away and stared into your eyes, that was now glossing over with your own tears.
âI-â you started to say but he cut you off.
âPlease say you still love me too. Please tell me that I can still fix this,â he begged and your heart broke remembering the words you told him that night, âIâm sorry that you fell out of love with me. Iâm sorry you donât love me anymoreâŚ"I canât change that..â Calum grabbed your hand. Please, ________, what can I do?
âCalumâŚâ you called. âI thinkâŚyou should goâ Thereâs nothing else you can do. âThere wasnât a day that passed since we broke up that I didnât love you but you hurt me. You lied to me, Calum and I can never forget that. Thereâs nothing you can do to make me trust you again,â you said and wiped away the tear that escaped your eye. Calum stared at you in utter disbelief and pain but after a few seconds his closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them again, he wiped his face with his hand.
âIf this makes you happy, _________, I have to live with that but Iâm really and truly sorry for all that I did,â he said and turned to walk to his car. You watched as he started the engine and drove away without sparing a last glance at you, just like how you did before.
END
SASSY LUKE
[ashton]Â [calum]Â [michael]
5SOS for MTV Japan in Tokyo! - July 30, 2018
Things that can never die
Their first video as a band
The pink speakers
Aussie rap
I WANNA BE IN THE TRIBEÂ
Cuddle keek Â
Its a cow, Luke
PUBERTY
Thereâs a spider in the bathroom (they needed ashtons mum)
When ashton had a boner on tv
UMM EXCUSE ME!!
No offence but ashton is one of the best drummers in the music industry right now
Youngblood Asks
About to spam you with my thoughts again, youâre welcome x
Youngblood: Whatâs the weirdest/most interesting nickname youâve ever been given? -Canât answer since my name is a mystery ;)
Want You Back: What event would you go back to in your life and change? -Too personal to answerâŚ
Lie To Me: Whatâs the last lie you told? Do you regret it? -I told my brother we were out of cheese sticks when really I just ate them đ and no I donât regret it
Valentine: Describe romantic cliches that make you roll your eyes vs some you absolutely adore and low key want. -Cliche: really bad pet names and shoving tongues down each otherâs throats in public. What I want: your arms wrapped around my waist just waiting in line at the grocery store, pulling me to you without warning and kissing me, kissing my neck in the middle of a movie, tickling me no matter how many times I tell you to stop while laughing so hard I canât breathe, and telling me Iâm fucking beautiful at the most random times â¤ď¸ Iâm hopeless lol
Talk Fast: Do you usually take your time or would you consider yourself to be more impulsive when making decisions? -I can be impulsive at times because Iâm impatient when it comes to certain situations
Moving Along: Whatâs something thatâs been consuming your mind lately? -That Iâm 21 years old and still have never been in love and havenât received it in returnâŚ
If These Walls Could Talk: Tell us a secret that no one in your personal life knows. -I have a blog on Tumblr đ
Better Man: Share a piece of advice or an inspirational quote that you keep close to your heart. -âThe greatest thing you will ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return.â -Moulin Rouge
More: Is there anyone in your life that you wish you could go back and make amends with? What would you say to them? -there isnât anyone
Why Wonât You Love Me: Do you consider yourself as more of a people pleaser or as someone who doesnât care what others think of you? -I care what people think to much sometimes, itâs one of my flaws, so out of instinct I try to please them but most of the time itâs never enough
Woke Up In Japan: Whatâs your typical go-to cure for when youâre not feeling great emotionally? -Ice cream or Ashton Irwin lol
Empty Wallets: Whatâs the dumbest thing youâve purchased? What about the most expensive? Do you regret either? -Dumbest: I canât think of one but the most expensive was my iPhone đ
Ghost Of You: Tell us about a physical object in your life that holds a lot of sentimental value for you. -my motherâs Sylvester and Tweety oversized t shirt I wear to bed sometimes
Monster Among Men: Whatâs a challenge that youâre facing in your life right now? How are you planning to deal with it, if at all? -trying to get my life to start, but I just donât know when that is going to happen
Meet You There: Tell us about something youâre looking forward to in the upcoming future. -getting my college degree
Babylon: What historical event would you love to go back and witness, assuming it was impossible for you to get physically hurt? -Queen Victoria and prince Albertâs wedding
PLAY MONSTER AMONG MEN YOU COWARDS
Remember when fetus Calum slayed Beyonce?
Bringing this back because 5SOS topped Beyonce :)
reblog this if youâre an active Luke/Calum blog! I need more blogs to followđ
/ /YOUNGBLOOD // 5SOS
ITS BACK OMG HYPERVENTILATING
NO ONE LOOK AT ME
happy birthday to the man that has my heart, the one of who always amazes me with his voice and the stories that carry each word, his presence in the best fuckin band to exist (letâs be real) and his beautifully, gifted and selfless heart that always brings me up and makes me realise how lucky i am to be a small smidgen apart of his life.
this the man i look at and aspire to find in my own life, to have as my own and never let go. i may have not been in his lane from the get go but iâm incredibly and immensely happy to be able to get to know every little thing that makes you the person you are. i feel like i could say so much more but i literally would be here forever, i feel like i have the best soulful connection with him and i couldnât be more excited to see what the future will bring him as a person and as a musician.
happy birthday luke
i love U more than ever and iâm crazy proud everything youâve achieved .
đšđđđ¸â¨
16 July â96 - Happy 22nd birthday Luke!