Ostomy tips for Sexy Time
I’ve put together a few things that I have found helpful during sexy time with an Ostomy!!
wear what makes you comfortable: Full nude, wear a wrap, crotchless panties from vanilla blush, lingerie.. whatever you like. You can always ask your partner what they would like to see you in as well. I feel sexy in the crotchless panties but they only come out once and a while to keep it fun ;) I like a wrap if it’s already on or if I have my tank top on I will slip it down into a wrap just to keep it from flopping around. You can also tape the bag up in half to itself or some products like the Sensura Mio have a midline velcro in the front that works great for sexy time!!
be confident: if you have a confident attitude about your stoma then your partner most likely will too. YOU ARE STILL SEXY! so be you and be sexy ;)
don’t fiddle with it: try not to touch your bag or fiddle with it during sexy time if you don’t have to. Ignore any crinkling bag noises, gas, don’t keep looking at it to make sure things are in place. All this will be distracting to you and your partner. Just do it, lol.
wear a small bag: most companies have multiple bag sizes. I find a small bag helps my confidence.
do an empty: I prefer to have an empty bag if I can, this helps my confidence. I don’t always run for an empty tho, you learn to judge the situation. Yes, it can spoil the mood slightly but nothing would spoil the mood more than you being self conscious about a full bag or a leak.
be the initiator: if you’re the one starting it then you’ll be ready to go; bag’ll be empty, or maybe a new flange/bag, wrap on or whatever works for ya. tada sexy times!
everyone has gas, just go with it: so your stoma decides to get noisy during sex… It most likely will actually, since you’re moving around and things are involuntary. I know if I’m on my back you can guarantee some funky alien noises. In the beginning we used to laugh (mostly because I would start laughing) seeing it was all so new for us but now we just carry on. A wrap can help to muffle things a wee bit.
try different positions: we are all different but you may find a go to position for a given situation. For example if my bag has some output and sex is initiated in bed then I tend to prefer a side position so I don’t have to interrupt things with an empty. A side (spooning) position allows more support and keeps my bag out of the way.
love your stoma: loving your stoma may not come easy to some. I think if you can come to terms and love your stoma then the confidence will come with it. I really do think it’s pretty darn amazing that our intestine just chill’s there; outside our bodies!! We are amazing!!!
Having an ostomy does NOT mean you can’t have a regular sex life. For me, what hinders my sex life the most is all my abscessing issues in my rectal/vaginal septum.
Feel free to comment and add any tips you have found helpful along the way. Hope some one finds this helpful.
kianamaiart
stormborns
titsay
