One time I was walking at night, it wasn’t a particularly gloomy night, there wasn’t any fog or twitching lights over my head as I was walking. It was a simple night with a half-passed by moon, nothing that brings out the occult or something for the skeptics to mention and no one speaking of curses. It was such an average night on such a familiar route, I had my headphones in with an album playing bouncing away the thoughts. It was still a new neighborhood for me, it was a more occupied place, but tranquil with the sun gone and the stores closed down. I always to make sure where my next steps was, the sidewalks had pot holes and were overall very uneven. The streets I was on didn’t have many streetlights, but I had the weakened moonlight in front of me. I missed something as I passed an overhead light, it gave me the chill of a cold whiplash and absolutely stunned my head at the impossibility of the notion of the possibility that I might have missed this. I turned around and around under the streetlight, like a dog looking for it’s tail just looking incredulously. I can’t have dropped it, I can’t have lost it earlier and I can’t have missed it on my way back. My shadow is missing! There’s nothing behind me or even beside me. I try to step away from the overhead light on the right, but still nothing on the wall next to me. I try on the left, stepping in the street and get frightened by a passing bike that whirls quickly beside me, maybe it had been ringing, the guy looked behind at me frowning, who knows? I’m confused, with nothing to be seen there too on my left. I take down my headphone,hopeful to straighten my mind. I try to pinch under my arm like my mother would do, I feel perfectly fine, I’m not numbed out or high. The air smells humid, from a warm day where it might rain later on, I know! My hair has been puffy two days in a row. It just doesn’t seem to be anything else in the air. I should try continuing to see where I am, I’ve forgotten the street I’m on, in this whirling, mind twisting loss. I look behind nervously, my throat tightened and with a heavy heart, every few step hoping to see it there like always. As I arrive this crosswalk, there isn’t any street name anywhere to be seen at this time. All I feel is this heavy weight on my shoulder and my shaking legs all the way down to my toes. The anxiety is setting in. Shouldn’t I feel numbed out from this loss, I don’t understand this, how can it be gone? Why would it leave me, it was the one thing that was supposed to be there by my side…? I have tears welling up in my eyes, my throat is fully closed, I can’t even breath. My legs collapse on the sidewalk, my gut is like a heavy weight keeping me down. Where would my shadow go, why would someone take it away, unless it left on it’s own accord? How could it have even left, is there a permanent light around me? Has God cursed me to solitude? I’m fully weeping at this point, by myself next to an undistinguishable crosswalk. Will I forever be alone?
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