Mist-Touched

The mountains don't give back what they take

[mist-touchedxiv]

I had thought about titling this post "Goodbye" or something, but that honestly feels kinda overdramatic.

However, it is time for me to move along from this site and Final Fantasy XIV. It's not as drastic as it sounds, I've just had a lot of self-reflection and it just feels like the right move for me.

I still like Loksen and I'm pretty proud of how cool he is, but between a lack of interest from the RP community and the fact that Tumblr in general has just been inactive for months now, there's not much keeping me here.

All the people who actually wanted to be friends with me already have my Discord (@AlexoftheColossus), so I don't feel any negativity with leaving. I do regret not getting to RP much, but I also feel like I probably just don't have it in me anymore so it was probably for the best.

Those are only minor contributing factors to my decision to leave, despite genuinely enjoying playing XIV. The main reason is that I got into FFXIV to play with someone who I'm no longer friends with. We had a falling out, but it's honestly for the best because things were kinda toxic and XIV just feels intrinsically connected to her. So, not being able to retrieve my account info to resub feels like a sign. Plus, I just don't possess the single-mindedness to dedicate all my energy and focus on one massively sprawling game.

I still can't quite bring myself to just completely delete this Tumblr, so I'll leave it up. Who knows! Maybe something will change for me.

Be well!

Alex

PSN: AlexofColossus

Discord: AlexoftheColossus

[mist-touchedxiv]

Context is a funny thing.

Today, I feel like I'm 19 or 20 again... which was the lowest point of my life because I had my first nervous breakdown brought on by autistic burnout and was just living in abject misery for the next couple of years.

[mist-touchedxiv]

[mist-touchedxiv]

Hey. I've been going through the Male Viera tag. I'm sorry I missed you, Loksen seems cool and grounded and I would have liked to get to know him. I hope you've found a better community.

no worries! It happens. If you want, I'm on Discord!

[mist-touchedxiv]

Life Update

Woooo! Switch 2 get!

Unfortunately, there aren't really any games out yet that I'm really keen on until Donkey Kong Bananza, but I'm glad to get it ASAP.

So, I'm doing alright. There was a period when I was very low and just wasn't feeling good. Just felt sad about life in general and lonely. But, I'm doing much better!

I honestly don't think I'll resume playing FFXIV: I lost my login info and haven't been able to recover it. Luckily, my info was saved on my PS5, but I couldn't renew my subscription.

After a lot of thought, it's probably for the best: I haven't been feeling inspired to write anything for a long time, the community got real quiet and no one's been interested. But, most importantly, I started playing FFXIV for someone who I thought was one of my best friends; and well... that fell apart. Honestly, it's probably for the best; after not talking for the past 9 months and months of therapy, I got some distance from the relationship and realized it's probably for the best. It was a toxic relationship and it honestly made me unable to enjoy much of Final Fantasy XIV and VII because they're too entwined with this relationship.

And I never really felt like I fit in in the community. Don't get me wrong, I've met a lot of nice people, but I just never quite felt comfortable or completely accepted. I truly don't harbor any ill-feelings towards FFXIV RP Tumblr community, just finally accepting that it's probably not for me.

The only person who I think really sucks is Elysea Aster/Elypiphoros or whatever. She moved to BlueSky. I would NOT recommend her at all. There are a few others I don't care for, but I didn't have nearly the bad experience with them.

Outside of all that, I'm truly doing pretty well! Therapy's going well, I don't feel as hopeless due to my struggles with AuDHD. I'm still a hopeless romantic trying to find love, but it's not too bad.

Anyways, I don't know if I'll be around much anymore on here.

See ya!

[mist-touchedxiv]

[mist-touchedxiv]

Life Update

Woooo! Switch 2 get!

Unfortunately, there aren't really any games out yet that I'm really keen on until Donkey Kong Bananza, but I'm glad to get it ASAP.

So, I'm doing alright. There was a period when I was very low and just wasn't feeling good. Just felt sad about life in general and lonely. But, I'm doing much better!

I honestly don't think I'll resume playing FFXIV: I lost my login info and haven't been able to recover it. Luckily, my info was saved on my PS5, but I couldn't renew my subscription.

After a lot of thought, it's probably for the best: I haven't been feeling inspired to write anything for a long time, the community got real quiet and no one's been interested. But, most importantly, I started playing FFXIV for someone who I thought was one of my best friends; and well... that fell apart. Honestly, it's probably for the best; after not talking for the past 9 months and months of therapy, I got some distance from the relationship and realized it's probably for the best. It was a toxic relationship and it honestly made me unable to enjoy much of Final Fantasy XIV and VII because they're too entwined with this relationship.

And I never really felt like I fit in in the community. Don't get me wrong, I've met a lot of nice people, but I just never quite felt comfortable or completely accepted. I truly don't harbor any ill-feelings towards FFXIV RP Tumblr community, just finally accepting that it's probably not for me.

The only person who I think really sucks is Elysea Aster/Elypiphoros or whatever. She moved to BlueSky. I would NOT recommend her at all. There are a few others I don't care for, but I didn't have nearly the bad experience with them.

Outside of all that, I'm truly doing pretty well! Therapy's going well, I don't feel as hopeless due to my struggles with AuDHD. I'm still a hopeless romantic trying to find love, but it's not too bad.

Anyways, I don't know if I'll be around much anymore on here.

See ya!

[mist-touchedxiv]

It's my 1 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[mist-touchedxiv]

Garlean Brand

On the back of Loksen's neck, hidden by his hair, is a large scar from a branding he received while imprisoned by Garlean forces.

Initially, they sought to conscript him into fighting for the empire as Wood-warders are renowned warriors. However, during the first battle he was forced to fight in, he killed his CO and tried to escape.

In lieu of a field execution, Loksen was given a brutal brand to denote that he was dangerous and an escape risk and tossed into a labor camp. The idea was that he'd be subjected to a horrible, painful death by infection from the brand, and his rotting corpse would serve as an example to other prisoners to stay in line.

Due to providence, the group he was tossed in with had a pair of Sharlayan scholars who were knowledgeable of medicine and healing arts. Intrigued by the brand, they nursed him back to health and taught him the Eorzean language.

The Brand

It looks like a cross between the Garlean icon and the Brand of Sacrifice from Berserk (VERY original, I know lol)

[mist-touchedxiv]

Still alive.

Spitefully.

[mist-touchedxiv]

[mist-touchedxiv]

Music Inspiration

[mist-touchedxiv]

Getting weirdly emotional thinking about Venture Bros and it ending, belatedly. It's one of my all-time favorite shows and had a PROFOUND effect on animation that it rarely gets credit for.

It's been several years since I've revisited the show, the last one I watched being... 7th, I think. Whenever they move to NYC. I haven't been able to bring myself to finish the series because that means it'll officially be over for me, and in my early to mid-20s it was constantly playing in my house. Being a twin myself, the Venture Brothers occupied a particularly special place in my heart and my brother's.

I also learned today that a HUGE reason there was a massive hiatus around the end was because one of the creators was in a horrific accident that left him paralyzed for a few years, though he's managed to regain the ability to walk. I feel extremely guilty that I ever resented them for the hiatus in the first place.

Honestly, in general, I've not been in a good place and I'm really emotional at the moment because I finally broke down and had a huge ugly cry this morning. It was cathartic, but I'm still really in my feelings.

Anyway...

[mist-touchedxiv]

Generally rough week due to drenching the inside of my car because I forgot I rolled my windows down. The fucking leak in my office not being addressed by building maintenance and making me sick. Losing my credit card, though at least no one used it and I was able to get it canceled and reissued. Several small disappointments. The near constant rain. The stress of being nearly broke most of the week.

[mist-touchedxiv]

[mist-touchedxiv]

[mist-touchedxiv]

Update

Welp, I officially can't remember my login info for FFXIV, so I won't be coming back to it for the foreseeable future.

However, I'll continue to try to be more active on here and with Loksen. Not that it really matters, I guess: only RPing with one person ATM.

I'll endeavor to do more writing and whatnot on here!

[mist-touchedxiv]