paraplegia is not “disability lite”????
this is based on a recent in-person interaction through a support group.
i was paralyzed, in the grand scheme of things, SUPER recently, so i understand how it feels to be disabled in both an apparent way and a non-apparent way. i’ve had the condition that contributed to my paralysis (cEDS) my whole life, and it causes plenty of other complications.
it’s frustrating to have a non-apparent disability. there are unique challenges that come with having a non-apparent disability. it is ALSO frustrating to have an apparent disability. my treatment by other people has 100% changed since my sci, and not necessarily for the better.
a few ambulatory people seem to have this idea that being paralyzed from the waist down means you’re able-bodied sans your legs and you suddenly have endless empathy and help from society. this, i would hope goes without saying, is absolutely not true.
paraplegia is often caused by some underlying condition, meaning plenty of paralyzed people are also independently chronically ill. even in the case of injury or accident-induced paralysis, the paralysis itself causes all kinds of lovely symptoms, including muscle spasms and bladder retention or incontinence. i have to self-catheterize. incomplete SCIs can cause nerve pain. the act of using a manual chair to get around in public at all times can mean damage to the upper body and pressure sores.
i’ve had a few more doors held for me now that i’ve started going out in public alone, but being so apparently disabled also means stares. everywhere. not just from kids. it means people feel like they can push you out of the way to reach something in the grocery store. it means people will speak to you like you’re an elementary schooler. it means that even on your good days, other people will remind you of your disability and ask invasive questions about your “car accident.”
i’m not interested in the apparent-vs.-non-apparently suffering olympics, i’m just hoping to offer what seems like an underexpressed perspective.
peace + love. sorry for the rant.
