ppl arguing that Rumi and Jinu don't make sense as narrative foils because "Jinu's shame is justified and Rumi's isn't"
.......yeah, that's like, actively the thing that the movie is trying to get you to contemplate by making the two of them narrative foils. like. they did that on Absolute Purpose. That's like. The Point.
You're introduced to Rumi, and she's so lovable and forgivable. Her shame is obviously not justified because she's "one of the good ones," a perfect victim who hasn't done anything wrong and has worked so so hard to make up for her so-called flaws.
Pretty much the entire audience finds it very easy to recognize that Rumi should not be ashamed of herself. From the moment it's revealed that Rumi's dad was a demon--you see this in reaction after reaction--the audience is on Rumi's side. Because that's not her fault. She didn't ask for that. She hasn't done anything bad, other than maybe lying, and even that is understandable given the circumstances. (Most audience members forgive her very quickly for lying, if they even consider it an issue in the first place.)
Rumi's arc is lovely, but not very transgressive in this way. It follows a pretty well-known message in stories nowadays, which is that you shouldn't feel shame for your identity, for who you are.
But Rumi doesn't see it that way. To Rumi's mind, she is wrong and bad in measurable ways that she needs to make up for, and no amount of "no, it's not your fault" will convince her otherwise. Such is the nature of shame: everyone who feels it believes that it's a justified feeling.
...So then we get introduced to Jinu.
Jinu is... not the perfect victim, although he is a victim. He starts out as the antagonist of the movie. Where Rumi overcompensates for her shame by trying to be as good as possible, Jinu's shame (and, you know, Gwi-Ma) makes it difficult for him to try and be a "good person," because to him that feels like an unattainable goal that will only hurt more to try and reach. He's "inherently bad." That's what his shame tells him.
And unlike Rumi, Jinu made choices. "Choices he had no choice in," like Ahn Hyo-Seop said, but still choices. Over the course of the movie, we see him hurt people. That's what he's ashamed of. Genuinely hurting people.
And suddenly, a large part of the audience is starting to hesitate. People who were preaching self-love and empathizing with Rumi are getting uncomfortable, because this isn't the standard shame arc. Jinu isn't a perfect victim. So like... maybe he shouldn't have self-love. Maybe he should be a little ashamed.
...That's what a lot of people start to say.
But, crucially, the movie does not say this. In fact, the movie says the opposite.
The reason why Jinu and Rumi's two shames are framed as parallels to each other isn't because they have the same source, it's because they have the same degrading effect on the characters involved, and the same solution.
The audience might not view Jinu and Rumi's shame as "the same," from the outside, but it is super critical that Rumi views Jinu's shame as the same as hers, and Jinu views Rumi's shame as the same as his--actually, they both view each others' shame as less justified than their own. Because, again, remember, everyone who's ashamed of themself thinks their shame is justified. But they're both able to recognize that they're having the same feeling, and that feeling is holding them back from so much in their life. It's trapping them in constraints and limits.
And the only good and useful way forward, for either of them, will have to be self-acceptance.
Yeah, Jinu's shame stems from his choices. The movie challenges you to think about that--it says, okay, so you sympathize with Rumi. Now what about someone whose shame comes from their actions? Will you extend him the same grace? He's suffering in the same way. Or is there a line you can cross, something you can become that degrades your inherent worth and makes you less deserving of help and support?
Because, you know, if there is a line, everyone who has shame is going to think that they've crossed it. No matter what. That's what Rumi thinks of herself.
Jinu, I think, is for all the people struggling with shame who looked at Rumi and went "okay, maybe her shame isn't justified, but mine is. I'm not like Rumi, I'm actually bad." Jinu is the movie's way of doubling down and saying, no, we mean it. Shame is never useful. Everyone deserves freedom from shame. Everyone. Yes, even you. There is no line you can cross where you don't deserve that anymore.
That's the point they're trying to make by making Rumi and Jinu narrative foils.
btw, before I get comments arguing about how shame can be a useful motivator: I use a very specific definition of shame and a very specific definition of guilt. Shame is when you feel that some part of you is inherently bad in an unchangeable, immutable way. Guilt is when you feel that you've done something bad, but that you yourself are not inherently bad. Guilt can be a useful motivator to change your behavior, shame can usually not. I learned in a sociology class I took in college that they've actually done studies on this--generally, shaming someone for what they've done or who they are is counterproductive. The person usually either learns to hide the behavior/trait they're being shamed for better (but continues it in private), or leans into it more as a way of lashing out. Guilt tends to be much, much more useful towards changing someone's behavior. I don't have the study cited anymore because it was in my textbook, but here's a psychology today article that echoes a similar sentiment to what I'm trying to explain.
