veep sentence meme.
modify as necessary! content warning for food, illness, death, ableism, profanity.
season one, episodes 1 - 5.
‘ don’t forget to smile. ’
‘ is that a poppy seed there in your teeth? ’
‘ he has so many tubes in him, he looks like a set of bagpipes. ’
‘ glasses make me look weak. ’
‘ there aren’t enough people to fill a fucking canoe in here. ’
‘ i am in a room with three people and a fuckload of quiche. ’
‘ how do you suggest that i mingle with this few people? did simon mingle with garfunkel? ’
‘ she’s mediocre, really. of all the -ocres, she’s the mediest. ’
‘ i told him you were too busy to see him, but, as you see, he ignored me and, by implication, you. ’
‘ he’s a massive and total shit. when you first meet him, you think surely to god this man can’t be as big a shit as he seems, but he is. ’
‘ i’m not gonna say i don’t enjoy it. ’
‘ this has been pencil-fucked completely? ’
‘ can we not strategize in a closet? ’
‘ i don’t have time to ignore you, ___. ’
‘ i mean, i misjudged things. fundamentally, i would say i misjoked. ’
‘ i am putting out two fires in there, and i turn around to find out that you have set fire to the fucking fire truck. ’
‘ i’m fluent in bastard. it’s one of my languages. ’
‘ that’s why i get paid the medium bucks. ’
‘ i want to get there early. i want the people who are on time to think that they’re late. ’
‘ i hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but can i just say — you kinda look like an asshole. ’
‘ i think i did the right thing, but i just need you to confirm that i did the right thing. ’
‘ i need you to make me have not said that. i need you to have… make me unsaid it. ’
‘ it’s unexpected, it’s funky, it’s kind of sexual. ’
‘ holy mother of god and sweet jesus christ. ’
‘ that screaming, falling sound is my fucking patience going out the window. ’
‘ today feels like the perfect storm, doesn’t it? ’
‘ people won’t equate you with a natural disaster. ’
‘ you are like an… earlobe. you’re just there. just wobbling. ’
‘ i guess all those tears must be dehydrating. ’
‘ use your instincts and your eyes, then your hands and arms. ’
‘ i’m canceling the lunch that was supposed to prove there’s nothing more important than ___ because something more important than ___ has come up. ’
‘ just pretend like you’re talking seriously to me. ’
‘ ___’s smile is starting to crack. ’
‘ oh, what a fistful of fucks. ’
‘ you’re trying to control the weather. you are not fucking thor. ’
‘ stop talking to me like a fucking politician. ’
‘ you looking for some fresh backs to stab? ’
‘ you’re not even your mom’s favorite ___, ___. ’
‘ in spite of your preface, i did not sense a whole lot of respect in that question. ’
‘ you have the social skills of someone who was raised by wolves. ’
‘ i would, but i’ve got a game of solitaire going on, so i think i’ll give that a skip. ’
‘ i can’t do it because it’ll make it look like a thing. ’
‘ do you have a suit you can change into? ’
‘ that door should be half its height so that people can only approach me in my office on their goddamn, motherfucking knees. ’
‘ i am gonna throw up a leg, and then i am gonna beat ___ to death with it. ’
‘ well, i have no idea who you are, so i don’t know whether it’s a pleasure or not. ’
‘ oh, my god, i am having the shittiest day. ’
‘ is she falling asleep? ’
‘ are you really waving? she cannot see you through the tv. ’
‘ please stop staring at me like that. undressing me with your eyes. ’
‘ i’m adding more clothes. ’
‘ left him a voicemail. called him a name. ’
‘ i was not in my own apartment last night. i just… i overslept. ’
‘ i was breathing really heavily, though. you don’t think anyone noticed that, do you? ’
‘ he’s not supposed to register emotion. ’
‘ that wouldn’t spoil your plans, would it? ’
‘ he is already a huge advocate of the devil’s. ’
‘ i won’t say it. i’ll just think it. ’
‘ my chief criticism is that i don’t fully understand it. ’
‘ that’s like trying to use a croissant as a fucking dildo. it doesn’t do the job and it makes a fucking mess. ’
‘ well, i feel like provoking someone. ’
‘ i’ve been trying to cynically use you, but you’re so fucking low-rent, you can’t even be exploited. ’
‘ any restaurant that serves anything in a fuckload is not a nice restaurant. ’
‘ you’re not that great to be around. ’
‘ are you believing this fucking day? ’
