Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
One Nice Bug Per Day
Today's Document
AnasAbdin
noise dept.
Xuebing Du
RMH
wallacepolsom
tumblr dot com
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Mike Driver
cherry valley forever
Cosimo Galluzzi
todays bird
PR's Tumblrdome
Origami Around
trying on a metaphor
styofa doing anything
sheepfilms
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
seen from Italy
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seen from Singapore
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seen from United States
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seen from United States
seen from United States
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@mizulekitten
I like that Daenerys equates the feeling of ‘being a god’ to being lonely rather than having power. Her dream isn’t to necessarily rule or be the most powerful, rather than it is to have a family/be surrounded by people who love and that she loves.
You do an eclectic celebration of dance!
The Birdcage (1996)
#thank you and kudos to op here#top notch post
😭 ty
The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.
And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and
His girlfriend had been fending off the 5 drunk guys for most of the evening by explaining that even if she was going to ditch her boyfriend, she can't possibly leave without finishing her beer, which she is keeping perpetually full via careful sleight of hand where she's just pouring it back and forth into and out of the pitcher.
However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.
That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizable—especially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.
yuh i was there, that's how it happened
unrestrained summer fun
every year around late may, without fail, this post starts getting notes again . and my little wet raw chicken breast of a brain gets puzzled. because i forget that summer is , in fact. a yearly event
— austroraptor
The. Sillies
the thing about fiber art that nobody tells you about is that every single kind of fiber art is a gateway drug to other kinds of fiber art.
05.28 - Nebula
Absolutely love how emotionally aware my child is for a 4 and a half year old do not however love stubbing my toe on the island for the 100th time today and hearing "hey mama it's okay to cry! It's not okay to throw a fit though, and we hafta re-...we have to reconitize the difference"
When I immediately say "oh no thanks" to a food she offers me she says "oh mommy, chefs try new foods. Can you take one , two, bites for me and if you really don't like it then I won't ask forever again deal?"
like you know what fine sure I'll try your truly heinous concoction because I do in fact hafta respect the deals
via
This is the money Marge. Reblog for good fortune
how many sharks does a tornado need to be considered a sharknado
1
2
3-5
10 ????
more ??????
other ????????????
this is the level of analysis we’re looking for here people
I like the idea in fantasy that humans are better at maintaining things long term because they set up societies or professions to do it whereas dwarves and elves and stuff are like “just get bob to do it he’s got a good few hundred years left” and then bob doesn’t teach anyone else how to do it
Elf: How have you kept this castle maintained for a thousand years if your lives are so short?
Human: We just train new people how to do it?
Elf: *gears visibly turning in their head*
Human: Are you alright?
Elf: I just realized that we didn’t have to let that whole city fall to ruin just because my grandfather died.
Human: What?
Human: Wait that’s why there’s ruins of elven cities even though you live for so long? You just keep not asking people how to do things? How do you learn anything?
Elf: There’s a lot of “you’ve got time to figure it out on your own” attitudes floating around in our society that I’m starting to question somewhat.
Elf: That sword, where did you get it?
Human: My cousin made it.
Elf: Impossible! Those metalworking techniques were lost a hundred years ago!
Human: What do you mean lost? My great-grandmother learned to make these swords from an elven smith, then taught it to her kids.
Elf: That's ridiculous. No elf would give such secrets to a human.
Human: They didn't. Meemaw delivered the metal to the forge, and no one kicked her out when she stayed and watched. She always said they barely acknowledged her even when doing business with her, like she wasn't worth noticing.
Elf: Come to think of it, my great-uncle always was rather single-minded when he started working.
Human: So he wasn't ignoring her, he just forgot she was there?
Elf: Oh, he was definitely ignoring her, too. He was super racist.
the novelty of having pets really does never wear off i’ve had my cat for ten years and i still look at him strolling around like can you believe this. a cat. is everyone seeing this. he’s alive he has bones and all. unbelievable
