Web-Head

20's/SPIDER/NEW YORK JUST A FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDER-MAN TRYING TO DO A LITTLE GOOD IN THE WORLD AND NOT DIE. PS IF YOU'RE AN AVENGER THEN PLEASE ☆NOTICE ME SENPAIIIII☆ [[DEPENDENT SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN BLOG OC/CROSSOVER/DUPLICATE FRIENDLY // POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING CONTENT PLEASE READ THE RULES AND ABOUT PAGES BEFORE INTERACTING]]

[mlg-web-slinger]

specc’d full into tired

[lluviagf]

PUNK CAT BOY

[re-stitch]

@mlg-web-slinger

Hey there super hero!

How's the crime fighting life treatin' ya?

[mlg-web-slinger]

horribly! just horribly. i wouldn’t wish this life on anyone but i’m here now and i wasn’t raised a quitter.

well that’s not the best hello, let me try that again:

hi! i’m good and great. how and who are you?

[prokopetz]

Scientists in Popular Media: stodgy, humourless, rarely get a joke

Scientists in Reality: named one of the most prestigious multidisciplinary journals in America “PNAS”

[mlg-web-slinger]

destrcyxr​:

Fair enough, I suppose, it might be a bit rude to assume based on a given name. That is a mystifying statement, however–Is it innumerable? Or just the eight? Are you capable of conjuring the horrors of the Stygian abyss?

The boy’s “friend circle” is vast and varied, I am never sure. I do not know what this– ‘VR headset’ is, but it sounds needlessly expensive.

Hah. 

I am Raziel. It is gratifying to meet your acquaintance. Your blood, and your soul are safe, I assure you.

your bog-standard basic amount of eight, but only sometimes. usually i just have the human number of limbs.

and that’s, uhhh

no. no i can’t conjure horrors from the Stygian abyss. or any abyss, really.

i think i have some people convinced that i can summon endless amounts of spiders, though. the kind of people who don’t get that i’m “spider-man” mostly because i can stick to stuff and not for any other weird reasons. and it kind of works in my favor if they think that because they panic when they see me and are a lot easier to bust.

anyway! cool. great to meet you, raziel. especially great to know my blood and soul aren’t getting the succ. i appreciate that.

[mlg-web-slinger]

blueberrynebula​:

cats play rough sometimes, you should know that

its not my fault i keep trying to bond with you but you’re so sensitive :((

so what you’re saying is you need your claws trimmed.

and/or you need a good spritzing with a water bottle.

[blueberrynebula]

@mlg-web-slinger​

your blood tastes like a nerd after gym class

salty and sad

[mlg-web-slinger]

and here i thought we were friends.

normally i really like cats, but you keep finding ways to make yourself the exception.

[destrcyxr]

@mlg-web-slinger

Hello. 

So. Do you have multiple limbs? We might as well begin there, as I am sure I need no introduction given my host’s rather large mouth.

[mlg-web-slinger]

ha ha oh man if i had a nickel for every time i’ve been asked that question, i’d be able to afford... i don’t know, maybe one of those VR headsets.

anyway the answer is: yes, but only sometimes if i feel like it.

and you might as well introduce yourself anyway. it’s trendy. watch i’ll do it too:

hi, the name’s spider-man. the spectacular spider-man. or just spidey. that one rolls off the tongue a bit easier if you’re lazy, and who isn’t.

[mlg-web-slinger]

psa:

please don’t actually give me the succ, final or otherwise. my blood probably tastes like bug juice anyway.

[mlg-web-slinger]

buntrousled​:

You’ve done it now, you’ve attracted them, they’re gonna come give you the final succ because they’re FUCKING TWELVE YEARS OLD

And uh. Yeah I’ve been there. I’m not gonna mention names so I don’t attract attention to it or cause another spiral but it has actually happened

That said some folks tend to be more chill about it, I think it depends on the kind of place they come from as well?

It’s a mess and better navigated case by case, I think

that’s fine, i’ve been told that my masterful wit is actually more like the slightly less masterful wit of a 12 year old. so we’ll probably get along famously.

glad we can agree that multiverse rules are a nightmare to deal with though and that anyone sane would much rather just play a video game and try not to think about the fact that somewhere, the dovahkiin is real and actually shouting dragons to death as we speak.

[vaexxvictis]

@mlg-web-slinger

The finality of the “succ” really depends on the circumstance.

I am intrigued, though– what does your realm say of vampires?

[mlg-web-slinger]

ok that’s true, sometimes you become a vampire instead of just... dying. or that’s what movies have taught me, anyway.

anyway uhhh

well for one, it says we don’t have them. which makes it hard to give an answer to that question since books and shows and whatever always have slightly different rules about how vampires are “supposed” to work. you know, you have one over there saying they hate garlic and in another one they’re weird about going indoors unless invited. then in another one they sparkle in the sun.

but we don’t talk about that one.

...and you know what now that i think about it, for all i know vampires do exist here. i’ve seen stranger things. i actually think finding a local vampire born and bred in NYC would be one of the least surprising, surprising things i could find.

wow i hope i’m not being insulting.

i haven’t even asked your name.

hi, i’m spider-man. or spidey. i’m a spider who is a man. i fight crime and play video games and have a cat.

that’s about all there is to know.

[mlg-web-slinger]

buntrousled​:

PLEASE DON’T CALL IT THE FINAL SUCC I’M GONNA CRY,,,,, It’s a long story and not mine to tell but from what I can tell it’s kind of a special case with those guys

I don’t meet a lot of alternate mes anymore, but I’m pretty happy with where I am all things considered, and that’s all that matters to me.

As for the video game/TV show thing, yeah I’ve… run into that a fair bit and it’s… kinda something I try not to make a big deal of? Because some people do not react well to being told “hey so you’re not real in my universe and your entire life is viewed for entertainment”. And in a LOT of cases I notice that things don’t actually match up exactly if at all - it could be that Alatreon has a completely different life to what you’ve seen in the game?

I dunno, I just take people for who they are when I meet them and try not to give them a crisis over sharing a name and face with a fictional character. It’s hard to deal with but in the end I know I’d want people to treat me as me and not some skeleton that gets killed or dated in a video game in other universes

well what else should i call it? really, “the final succ” is a pretty apt descriptor for what most vampires tend to do. unless media’s been lying to me all these years, but that can’t be right.

and god, no, no i’m with you. that’s not a can of worms i want to open for anyone else.

just kinda, you know -- oh geez, what if i make some offhanded post about all of the pro-gamer moves i’ve been doing in... i don’t know, team fortress 2 or something? brag about my hat collection. and then i find out that Mr. Heavy TF2 is real and follows me and i just sent him spiraling into an existential crisis?

[vaexxvictis]

“The final succ.”

[catsbeaversandducks]

By Jan and Odee

[the-adventures-of-dave]

Yeah, you got it spot on!

[mlg-web-slinger]

chimichangacorn​:

can’t hear you over the sound of me falling out the wio gvbfiyhgdsB GLJv;HBE :ir b o J

he jumped out the window with the GODDAMN CHAINSAWS

WADE i swear to god

[mlg-web-slinger]

@chimichangacorn

how “authentic looking” is that gore, exactly, wade my good pal? buddy? friend of mine?

[chimichangacorn]

Real enough that you would almost swear it really was! Ha HA!

But don’t actually look into it. Trade secret stuff, hush hush, can’t say.

[mlg-web-slinger]

i’ll be over in 

now

i’m here

i know better than to say “in X amount of time” because then you’d get rid of the evidence

[mlg-web-slinger]

buntrousled​:

Oh no they’re definitely not Lestat cosplayers they’re actual honest to god blood drinking vampires.

(I had to google Lestat and I got caught in a Youtube trail for a hot second and I mean they’re all pretty gay and VERY dramatic but for the most part they’re not like, ye olde Englishe froppy costumers… It’s actually a struggle to get them to wear clothing!!! Which in retrospect probably sounds worse than it actually is.)

I can imagine it’s probably more alarming for people who actually have blood inside of them, although one of them does eat souls and that is actually a valid thing to be concerned about for me but it’s fine, we’re cool.

And… yeah, every time I see some new thing crop up the multiverse thing kind of blows my mind all over again. Humans are one thing, I always knew humans existed, but there aren’t vampire monsters where I come from except in stories.

Oh and then I found out there’s at least TWO universes out there that have animals that walk and talk like monsters and humans but AREN’T considered monsters??

yeah not gonna lie, as a blood-having spider guy, i’d be pretty alarmed if i met a real vampire who really probably wanted my blood. or...soul?? ok, didn’t know vampires could do that. i’m glad they’re not giving you the final succ.

and i hear that. i’ve met more alternate versions of me than i thought possible, all at varying stages of screwed up and sad. have yet to meet the version of me who’s 100% happy with his shit together. it’s, uh... it’s bound to happen.

anyway

what really gets me now is those universes that are just...you know. video games. or a tv show. or whatever, in mine.

someone claiming to be alatreon followed me a couple days ago. and now here i am wondering if it’s a niche furry RP blog or if it’s actually a dragon, and if yes, how do i reconcile that with the fact that i just fought alatreon in the video game last night.