real girlmatt fujohnson

bea. any/all. sooo normal. love my mutuals & my bf

[mmattjohnson]

adult. your favourite canadian mutual. i am so silly and so odd and my asks are always open :3

ask me about canadian music + media... i will love you forever if you do this i promise... please............

i ❤️ my kenz my stan my kels my andre for evers they are my beautiful friends who i love for always

icon by @gummygoby and header by @st5rcrest!

(fka. francis, eddie, bennie, basil, oleander/ollie. if you know me as any of these they are also fine)

you might know me as: mjbirdie, muppettozier, jollllyy, kasplikovsky, eddiemunz, daisybf, oliveism, yankovic, tomfpaulkins, and probably also more urls that i can't remember... i change them all the time

umm draw me things... pretty pleaaaaseeeeee 🩵

by @gutterball (the bestest ever)

[my-commc]

[beatlesandbollywood-deactivated]

sex is a lot like the let it be album. you experiment. you decide you fucking hate each other. you grow awful facial hair. billy preston is there

[meowmorials]

Snoopy

[mattys-marbles]

once he finished the donut, he kept peering into the empty box, hoping another donut would magically appear. when one didn't, he would pick at the crumbs and then need to lick his fingers all over again.

[cobalt-42]

he gave dirties matt a shirt he actually wore while making his movies in high school. evil

[teethg0red]

moments that mean everything to me

[sailorbrazil]

thursday..... and i bet you wish you were her

[cheaphalloweencostume]

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

[goofda]

“Imma destroy that pussy” my friend 😔

[graff-aganda]

I think it would be very cute if they updated their weird and lame matching caller ID photos from BOTB every year 💚

[noahwyles]

i, a rock collector, had to go to the ER yesterday because of a gallstone attack, here is how my father messaged me

thanks dad

[anremithrl]

That was the correct thing to say.

[venturehomenews]

its funny how time goes by

[girlnephew]

[eloso]

Someone was just setting the table for Christmas lunch when they took half a minute to lay out this vocabulary-changing bsky post, then carried on with their day...

[ravioliet]

i literally love saying "ON IT BOSS!!!!!" whenever someone asks me to do something like i'm some sort of henchman. it doesn't matter if they're my boss or not for real even because in the moment they are, and whatever they requested of me i'm on it

[sailorbrazil]

thursday..... and i bet you wish you were her

[melancholy-epilogue]

imagine you find a cardboard box by the roadside and there's a little rainbow hovering over it, and you think to yourself that it looks so pleasant so you open it up and inside there are three to seven soft fluffy baby bunnies and they all smile so wide when they see you because you make them so happy, so happy that they all open their mouths and sing "la la la! la la la!" and they sway left to right as they sing and they love you so much

[melancholy-epilogue]

the moral is: they love you so much

[mmattjohnson]

matt johnson.

Yeah.