Transcendent Grief
I summoned you, please come to me
Don't bury thoughts that you really want
I fill you up, drink from my cup
Within me lies what you really want
It started with a song, “Middle of the Night” by Elley Duhé to be precise. I hadn't listened to that song in ages, yet here I was humming it every day at work as if on cue.
Clairaudience, or “clear hearing”, is the ability to receive auditory messages from the spirit realm. This psychic ability can present in many different ways both externally and internally. You may hear with your physical ears someone calling your name or even speaking to you, only to find that there's no one there. On the flip side, your own internal dialogue may take on a different cadence, using words and phrases you wouldn't normally use, in what is known as inner-ear clairaudience. Or, in this particular case, it could be as simple as a random song being stuck in your head.
With this in mind, I began questioning who or what was trying to get my attention. It took me an embarrassingly long time to connect the dots, but once I did, it has forever changed the way I viewed mankind's impact on the spirit realm.
Come, lay me down
‘Cause you know this
‘Cause you know this sound
Next door to my workplace there was this beautiful woodland area, emphasis on was. Construction workers began leveling the once tranquil woods to make way for the latest housing development. Their machines ripped up grass and trees at the roots, piling them high. I just remember feeling this overwhelming sense of sadness when I looked at the aftermath, a grief that wasn't entirely mine.
Clairsentience, or “clear feeling”, is the ability to sense emotions and energy that aren't your own. This psychic ability is often linked to how empaths can read a room or person. However, clairsentience can also present as unexplainable chills or goosebumps, or even as a headache that only pops up in a particular setting.
At the time, I was beginning to hone my abilities and took a special interest in connecting with tree spirits. I started small by simply saying ‘hello’ and ‘good morning’ to the trees at my workplace, a practice I still do to this day. It was during this exploration that the humming of the song began, and one tree in particular had caught my attention with the way it gave me a headache every time I was near it.
I did some more research and learned that trees were often safehouses for spirits. With that information, all the months worth of synchronicities clicked into place in my head, and I realized the sad truth. The demolition of all those trees next door had displaced nature spirits from their homes. With nowhere else to go, one spirit in particular took up residence in the tree that had been trying to grab my attention for months.
In the middle of the night, in the middle of the night
Just call my name, I'm yours to tame
It was at this time that I decided to pull out my tarot cards for confirmation. I used the Labyrinthos app on my phone, more specifically the Golden Threads Tarot deck by Tina Gong. My questions and answers were as follows:
Is there a spirit here that wants to work with me? Ten of Pentacles. This particular card had the image of a tree on it, giving me a quick confirmation.
Are you specifically tied to that tree? Lovers. This card refers to a partnership or union, giving me another clear yes.
Do you need my help? Ten of Cups Reversed. The keywords mirrored what I had been channeling: unhappy home, separation, domestic conflict, disharmony, isolation. I'd take that as a definite yes.
Were you displaced from the field? Four of Swords. The keywords once again seemed to line up: Rest, relaxation, peace, sanctuary, recuperation, self-protection, rejuvenation.
How can I help you? Magician and Page of Swords. Why did you reach out to me? Hierophant Reversed. Between these two questions, I got the sense that they were simply lonely, and I was one of the few willing and able to listen to their plight. At the end of the day, everyone needs someone to vent to, even a nature spirit.
All night long ‘til morning comes
I'm getting what is mine, you gon’ get yours, oh no, ooh
After months of gaining information little by little, everything that followed this reading came in a whirlwind. The nature spirit went through the stages of grief hard and heavy, and their anger was quick to swoop in with a mighty vengeance. It was then that I saw their true form for the first time.
Clairvoyance, or “clear seeing”, is the ability to receive information from spirit through visual means such as flashes of images, visions, and/or dreams. This most often happens through the mind’s eye, known as inner-eye clairvoyance, but some psychics are able to see mirages of spirits with their physical eyes.
The nature spirit wasn't some dainty, fairylike entity as you might imagine, but instead more akin to a monster from a horror film in appearance. It was huge. Its hulking form was hunched over four stilt-like legs with a round humanoid face that I couldn't quite make out. I could see it in my mind's eye, towering over the construction workers and coming face-to-face with their machinery. Its anger was palatable, rolling off it in waves and interfering with their work.
Admittedly, I distanced myself from the spirit for a time, unsure how to navigate this precarious situation. What comfort could I possibly bring to a spirit who had just lost everything?
With time, their anger faded to grief once more, and we began to speak again. However, the sad reality was that there was nothing I could do to fix what mankind's greed broke. All I could do was listen and make space for their pain.
Sadly, one day that pain would be too much for them, and they moved on in order to avoid having to see their home destroyed any longer. I haven't seen or spoken to that nature spirit again. I can only hope that wherever they are now they found the peace that had been taken from them.
One thing’s for certain, we would both be forever changed from this encounter.
