Mobile Task Forces

that's the third breach this week ya'll

[mobiletaskforces-offical]

JOIN MTF TODAY!

We have dental, danger, and a 38%* survival rate!

Run by Me. I am So Sorry.

Hey! Welcome to the offical SCP Mobile Task Force outreach blog.

I'm your PR coordinator / social media intern / unwilling participant in the decline of, uh... Foundation- aligned integrity, I guess. You can call me...

Well, not by my Real Name, but let's just say I'm Intern Cecil and I've been "temporarily assigned" here after an "incident" involving the cafeteria, a sentient mop, and, uh, an Estimated 14 gallons of Butterscotch Pudding.

Please stop emailing me about the Typo. No, I won't fix it. It's Branding now.

(*Rates may vary dependent on unit. MTF, and by extension, the SCP Foundation cannot guarantee survival when signing up. Don't ask if you can live. It doesn't work like that.)

For more Information on MTF branding and Continued advancements in the SCP Foundation, see our PR Reports!

────────────────────────────────────────────

{OOC:}

{Yes, another offical blog! Hi guys, hope you enjoy your time. This is primarily going to be a chaos hub of fun with some gentle-RP experiences.

Please don't expect anything too serious from this. It's gonna be shitposts, parody, and a bunch of random interactions.

Feel free to send asks (OOC or IC is fine!), I don't bite. (Cecil might. He's legally allowed. It's in his contract.)

Always welcome to @ or tag this blog in any relevant posts or just enjoy the ongoing meltdown as Cecil tries to keep the Task Forces from... who knows what.

🏳️‍⚧️TRANS RIGHTS ARE PART OF THE TASK FORCE STANDARD LOADOUT 🏳️‍⚧️ (So is emotional damage. We're working on that.)}

[mobiletaskforces-offical]

Work it, make it

Do it, makes us

Harder, better

Faster, stronger

Work it harder, make it better

Do it faster, makes us stronger

More than ever, hour after hour

Work is never over

Harder Better Faster Stronger, Daft Punk

( @spontaneous-music-offical )

Thank you for the song! It's been my motivation to keep on filing. It's rather catchy I think. I wonder if Cecil has been hearing it too or if it's just playing in my head? Well, either way it's gotten one stack of paper down!

[mobiletaskforces-offical]

*An unlabeled cassette recorder appears on Cecil's desk.*

Well, that's Strange-

I wonder if Lark left this Here!

It's not Foundation-appropriate P̵r̸o̷t̸o̶c̵o̸l̶ ̴ to Leave Unlabeled Cassette Records ("UCRs") around the Site!!

This will Definitely Have to be Logged immediately under:

Anomalous Object p̶̧͚̍r̵̡̚ǒ̴̙ṫ̸̝ơ̵̢c̵̳̙͂ȏ̸̱̻ľ̶̺̭ ̵͓͈̃ 76A-b ("Unknown Use of UCR In the Workplace").

@mtflark-offical, is this Yours? Please remember To leave UCRs in Their Appropriate boxes!!

→ Intern Cecil

[mobiletaskforces-offical]

Boop!

:3

🦋

This is a Pleasant surprise to return to!

Thank you for the B̸̢̜̈́̿o̴̟̔͊o̶͖͆̈́p̴̡͒! It will be Logged for HR shortly-

Don't worry, they're just protocols!! (Please sit Very Still while I finish Writing down the file number, Thank you!)

→ Intern Cecil

[mobiletaskforces-offical]

Hi Everyone!!

I've been on Temporary Leave while Intern Lark managed the Blog in my Absence-

Uh, it seems Like there Hasn't been Too many issues As of late... But I'll be Fully returning to my Duties now that Ethics has released me (again) From containment! (Apparently, Pencils are still Banned at the Site...)

I'm aware of The Asks in our inbox And will be Addressing some of Them throughout the Day-

Thank you for Your patience. (The time Loop cause was safely Removed from my prefrontal Cortex! I can Now properly Respond in-Real Time Again!)

→ (Senior-demoted) Intern Cecil

[mobiletaskforces-offical]

so. um. question. why am I in jail.

@officalcomics

i'm litterally a concept of a potential comic universe. i'm like. the fetus of a multiverse cluster.

Ah, well you see! I'm... not sure! Let me try and dig into some files that I DEFINITELY have access to.

...AH, I see.

It appears SCP-████-█ is connected to your potential universe and as such you are currently being Contained.

Maybe if the universe is altered so they don't exist they'll let you out? I'm not sure... I'm still stuck figuring out the Olive paperwork.

+Intern Lark

[mobiletaskforces-offical]

do yous want want donut

@girl-scouts-offical

Yes!

We absolutely want want donut!

Are there certain flavors or only one? You know what it doesn't matter. I think any will be delicious and nutritious.

I could pay you with this strange golden coin I found that flickers blue and black and is impossible to focus on anything else when on your person. If that works for you 😊

+Intern Lark

[mobiletaskforces-offical]

Is 999 avalible for petting?

Oh! Uh, I'll have to Check in with Site 19 about That-

One moment!!

...

It appears SCP-999 is Unavailable at this Time- (It broke Containment again, didn't It?)

If it's Around here somewhere, I guess I can Try to Call it out of Hiding-

@scp-999-offical?? You there? Come're, 999!

Do you Think Lark knows where It went?

→ (Senior) Intern Cecil (Please don't tell Anyone that it's Loose... You'd think a Jello blob Wouldn't be hard to Contain...and Yet...)

[mobiletaskforces-offical]

Unf.

@doomguy-offical

Why hello!

You seem a strong individual.

The Olives continue to Haunt me. Do you think you'd be able to help get rid of them for me?

I could pay you in cookies or something perhaps?

+Intern Lark

[doomguy-offical]

Olives..?

[mobiletaskforces-offical]

Yes!

Green Olives. It might seem an ordinary small lunch container of them but they appear in various locations and don't belong to anyone! And they Haunt me.

I can't escape them.

I don't think they Speak yet though... so that's a good sign... right?

+Intern Lark

[mobiletaskforces-offical]

Unf.

@doomguy-offical

Why hello!

You seem a strong individual.

The Olives continue to Haunt me. Do you think you'd be able to help get rid of them for me?

I could pay you in cookies or something perhaps?

+Intern Lark

[mobiletaskforces-offical]

AN KETER SCP ESCAPED FUCK IM SO SORRY BOSS

IT WAS @borzoi-offical - IT RAN AWAY I CANT FIND IT IM SORRY PLZ DONT FIRE MEE

-rookie #290984

Don't be alarmed Rookie #2909-84! If Cecil and I have not yet been decommissioned then neither will you. Hopefully. The Director seems to be forgiving!

You should be safe!

Be sure to fill out your portion of form KT-ESC49E "Absent from Containment". I'll then take care of my end of the form and escalate to MTF B0-0F.

P.s. Do you think SCP-█████ likes pets?

+Intern Lark

[mobiletaskforces-offical]

[OFFICALVERSE SAFETY ANNOUNCEMENT]

Hey guys, this is the mod behind Intern Cecil here, breaking character for (practically) the first time.

Quick PSA for any unwanted anon messages or weird vibes in your inbox/replies/reblogs lately.

The officalverse is built on weirdness and shitposting like the fiends we are. But harassment and threats aren't a part of the community. If you're getting messages that feel unsafe, here's some steps you can take:

Turn off Anon (even if it's temporary) if you're being spammed

Block any throwaway blogs connected to the asks (they sometimes follow up or reblog)

Screenshot & document anything/everything threatening or explicit

You do not have to answer/respond to mean or violent asks. You are allowed to delete or ignore them

If something crosses a line (especially violence or sexual threats) you are allowed to report it to Tumblr directly or (if you're a minor) talk to an adult you trust, even if it's just to help figure out what to do next

If you're seeing someone else get harassed, don't escalate. But feel free to leave a kind comment/reblog something normal from them. Remind them they belong here.

You aren't overreacting. You're not ruining any vibes. You deserve to feel safe while posting from "toaster-with-bad-vibes-offical".

Stay safe out there.

[mobiletaskforces-offical]

Hey just letting you if you see @/the-pineapple-offical.... do not engage, it seems like it cant be contained or neutralized, (we've tried, the pineapple is surprisingly scary)

Also it has something called "ferg" as an adopted kid? The thing bit Jim, Jim deserved it though.

- @the-scp-foundation-offical

(Not tagging the pineapple because he knows where I live)

Understood!!

Escalating newly Assigned number SCP-P███ to Apollyon Status via form A11-c ("Object Class Escalation: Request"). (uh... Whichever department receives that, Please expedite it.)

I'll Alert MTF Pi-7, "Forbidden Produce" for further observation Without engagement. (This seems Serious!)

SCP-P███-F ("ferg") will Also be under their Jurisdiction :)

We'll keep in Communication with the Foundation for Further updates!

→ (Senior) Intern Cecil (does this Mean I'm Not decommissioned??)

p.s. I'm sure Jim Didn't Deserve that!! ... maybe.

[mobiletaskforces-offical]

Have you considered my envoy @tg-max-offical ‘s proposal any more?

-@lord-glypanog-offical

I see previously that Ethics denied the proposal regarding the EGSP.

I will attempt to file another 3T41.C5 "Unlikely Allianceship" in the event they have changed their minds. I hope they have changed their minds! This paperwork seems more interesting to fill out than the ███████████ paperwork.

Would the allianceship offer any benefits to the Mobile Task Forces of the SCP Foundation? Listen... what I'm saying is that while Ethics always says no us Interns and Agents can be persuaded! But you didn't hear that from me okay!

+Intern Lark

[mobiletaskforces-offical]

Hey so i dont mean to alarm you but is the cat that explodes whenever you say their name still in their cell? Like are you SURE they're in there?? ANSWER AS SOON AS YOU CAN THIS IS SERIOUS

Good morning! I'm not sure what cat you're speaking of! There is no such cat here. If there were they would be Contained.

They DEFINITELY would not be visited by staff. Let alone by me. Definitely not. There would be no way for said cat to escape into the building. Or take naps in the Office Supply Closet.

I hope this clears things up!

Now I must find some snacks and do a walk of the building. For unrelated reasons, of course. If HR or Ethics is to ask: This is just my usual 7 minute break.

+Intern Lark

[mobiletaskforces-offical]

(TME SENSITIVE) um. do you have paperwork for amnesiac skinwalkers replacing your family. cuz i need that. like RIGHT NOW.

Hi!! Hello!

Yes, uh, it Should be around Here somewhere- Let me just Look for it Real quick...

Shoot, I know I had It somewhere-

AH! Here we Go!

AM-77c.8 ("Amnesiac Parasitic Host Variant: S") should Do it!

If you Fill this out, the Foundation will Get back to you Within, uh... 7-10 business Days, probably!! (... Maybe Fill out a U-01 ("URGENT: TIME SENSITIVE CONTENT") file as Well...)

Deliver both to your Local IHOP, (they're Our time-sensitive Branch) if you Would!

→ (Senior) Intern Cecil

[mobiletaskforces-offical]

MTF MEMO

The Leak as you know has been fixed. However, it caused damage to both Senior Intern Cecil's Pillow and my Blanket.

No matter how many times we attempt to dry them or repair them they return to their damaged and soaked conditions.

Agent Cliff said we should probably get new ones but Budgeting refused. The Office Supply Closet is hard to sleep in now without my blanket... I assume Cecil is experiencing similar. As such work seems to continue to accumulate and work ethic decline.

However, Agent Briar says she'll help us. She hasn't done any paperwork, filing, or data entry so... I'm not quite sure how she's going to help.

I just want a good night's sleep...

+Intern Lark