Mocha’s Corner

My writing sideblog. Just a little place to drop my stuff off.

[mochascorner]

Year of the Rabbit more like Year of Making Legend Suffer, amiright?

A little ficlet for the new years! And since it’s the year of the rabbit, well, how could I resist putting Leg back in his little pink form again? Just for fun, of course <3

--------

Coming through a portal had never been this bad before. The group has been separated, dizzy, nauseous and downright dumped straight into a lizalfos camp before, and never has it approached this level of shit.

Because this time Legend found himself exiting the ominous swirling portal as a little pink bunny.

Why? How? When? He doesn't know. He was standing next to Twilight when the portal opened though. Maybe he accidentally grabbed Twilight’s shadow crystal when he reached for the rancher. 

Whatever, doesn’t matter. All that does matter is that Legend is small and pink and filled with rage. When he next sees that damned rancher Legend is going to put his boot up his country-boy ass for having a cursed item just out and about. The least that yahoo could do is put that shit in a ring box or something, damn!

Huffily he kicks his bag open, which is thankfully near to where he first came through. At least he knows a moon pearl will work thanks to Four. As he fiddles with the bag strings with clumsy paws he takes a moment to be thankful that he came through alone - he's not sure he'd survive the humiliation if everyone were to see him like this. Warriors would never let him live it down.

Legend had just managed to get the bag open when his sensitive ears pick up on the slighted rustling in the bushes. Instinctively, he freezes, ears perked and nose twitching. 

Oh please let it not be one of the others, He prays, Din, Naiyru and Farore please just this once have some damned mercy. 

And for once, the Goddesses listen. Only to then promptly flip him off with all their godly power.

Because a narrow-eyed fox emerges from the bushes, hunger evident in its eyes.

Careful what you wish for flashes in his mind but Legend doesn't have the time to really consider it because he's planning out what actions to take to not end up someone's dinner. He hasn’t found his moonpearl yet. Can he find it in the half second it takes for a fox to lunge? Or would he be serving himself up on a silver platter? His paws are an inch from his ice rod. Can he manage to grab it before the fox is on him? And if he does manage to grab it, can he use it? Can he even hold it up? Or should he just forget about his bag, make a run for it and circle back to get his things later? What’s the best move? 

The fox blinks, muscles tensing for the pounce. Legend runs out of time. 

“Shit!” The hero curses and takes off, abandoning his bag and dignity. “Fuck!”

His loud curses don’t deter the fox as it leaps after him and threatens to overtake him. Legend runs without direction, pushing through under brushes and tall grass. The sounds of quiet but persistent paws behind him spur his bunny legs to push harder. Death approaches, red tailed and pointed faced. 

He has to hide - but where? Where can he fit without the fox being able to follow? A burrow? A tree hollow? Legend squeaks as a paw comes dangerously close. The fox is gaining and Legend is tiring, little bunny heart unable to handle the stress.

After a few moments of chase, Legend is a moment too slow and a paw swipes at his back leg, clawing at the flesh and raking three bloody lines across his flank. Legend cries out and makes one desperate jump upwards to see if he could escape onto a low hanging tree branch. But with only one leg he only manages to leap over the foxes head and crash back to the forest floor.

He rolls a few more feet from momentum alone before ending up on his ass, panting and out of options as a dangerous predator stalks out of the bush.

“This is bullshit,” Legend pants. It really is. All of his experience, his strength and knowledge - useless in the face of a single fox. Humiliation rolls his stomach almost as hard as the knowledge that he's going to die as a defenseless rabbit. He's going to die here and no one will know. There won't be a body, any sign of struggle. Just an abandoned bag and maybe some pink hairs left in a pile of fox shit. “This is bullshit!”

Legend pushes himself to his feet. If he's going to die then he's not going to do it on his back. He made that promise to himself a long time ago and two long ears and a puffy tail isn’t going to change that.

"Alright you overgrown mouse," Legend spits at the fox, squaring up and putting his paws up, "You wanna go? Then bring it on, bitch."

The fox, seemingly surprised, hesitant for a moment. It freezes, ears twitching. Then its muscles tense, just like when it first began its hunt.

Unless you want me to die like this then you better send in some divine intervention, Legend lets loose one last prayer. It’s his last thought before and the fox pounces-

-right back into the bushes.

Legend remains tense, chest puffed and paws ready to swipe. He’s braced and ready to fight for another few seconds, ears twitching and eyes scanning for danger. When the fox does not reappear, Legend sits himself down, all the tension draining away anticlimactically.

What just happened? Why did it give up? He's hurt and vulnerable, easy prey.

The bushes behind Legend rustle. 

Oh. Well, what do ya know - divine intervention.

In the shape of Wind.

The young hero is only a stones throw away, pushing branches out of his way. He's alone based on the way he’s not trying to hide his searching face, eyes narrowed and mouth twisted. 

The relief Legend feels is immediate. Wind is young but he’s strong. He’ll easily be able to chase away any predators that might make a snack out of Legend. He might even have healing items! Relieved, Legend opened his mouth to call for Wind-

Only to remember that he's a rabbit. Relief leaves him as quickly as it came.

Wind won't know it's him. Couldn't possibly, unless he has some item that lets him see through dark magic spells. Chances of that are low (but not zero, actually) and this knowledge makes Legend hesitate to call out. 

On one hand, Wind can protect him until they find Sky and Legend can get his hands on the Master Sword. On the other hand, Legend would rather die than have to reveal his dark world form to the sailor.

Yes, Legend might have just almost died to the smallest of canines. But he has pride, dammit! Wind is a nice kid, but he’s mischievous as hell and thirteen years old - meaning he’s an asshole in his own right. The sailor would for sure blab to anyone and everyone, never letting the matter die. Legend would be dead and buried and somewhere down the line, hundreds of years in the future, some asshole would be telling a story about how the famed Hero of Legend was a cuddly bunny on the inside. 

His spirit would never know peace.

So really, the question is would Legend rather risk dying to some wild animal, or being teased relentlessly by everyone he kind of respects?

Hmm, decisions, decisions.

Legend blinks. Maybe, just maybe, there’s an option C. I mean, does Wind really have to know that the rabbit is Legend?

Legend lets loose a squeak.

Wind jolts, hand immediately flying to his sword. The sailor glances around. When his eyes land on Legend he blinks in surprise. Then, as Legend predicted, his expression lights up.

"Aw," He coos, "Hey there, little guy. You’re so cute!"

Thirteen year old heroes are assholes, but never to cute bunnies. 

Hi yourself, Legend very deliberately doesn't say, wriggling his nose, I don't suppose you’d be willing to take me with you, would you? With this bum leg I won’t be able to walk, much less get back to my bag. 

As painful as it is to leave his bag behind, Legend trusts himself enough to track it down later. He’s lost his items enough to have confidence that he’ll get them back eventually.

"Aw, you're pink!" Wind creeps towards him, expression friendly and charmed, "That’s adorable! I’ve never seen a pink rabbit before. Bunnio is gonna love you!"

Wind reaches into his bag and pulls out his pictobox. Legend begrudgingly stands still and lets Wind take his picture. As payment for the ride, he reasons. 

Legend stays still when Wind’s smile droops and the sailor lowers his pictobox, looking at Legend with concern. Wind crouches down to take a better look at him. “What happened to your leg, buddy? Something try to eat you?”

Wind croons at him and reaches out slowly, looking to pet Legend. Begrudgingly, Legend allows it and cuddles up to the hero. If Legend want’s a ride he’s going to have to play helpless - nothing gets a hero going like an injured animal. Yes, I'm soft and cuddly. So please take me with you to Sky so that I can escape this hell I'm living.

The youngest hero leans down and scoops Legend up. Wind unrolls a bit of gauze and wraps up Legend’s leg, cooing all the while about how calm Legend is and what a good bunny he is. 

Legend stares out into the woods, pretending that he’s anywhere but here. He has no idea how Twilight can stand this - all this face-smushing and hair ruffling and baby talk. If there was any chance of revealing his identity before then that moment has passed - Legend can never let Wind know Legend allowed himself to be pet and scratched behind the ears.

Never.

“I don’t have any potions for you,” Wind says, stroking Legend between his ears, “But my friends do. And as a certified Rabbitland Rescue member I can’t just leave you behind. So you’re going to have to come with me, okay?”

Wind tucks Legend into his bag, allowing Legend’s head to poke out the flap like he’s some rich lady’s prized pooch. It also gives Wind convenient petting access to the top of Legend’s head.

A deep seeded feeling of despair set upon the Hero of Legend. What the hell had he just signed himself up for?

[mochascorner]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40849254

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Normally being lost wasn't so alarming. Link has lived through enough labyrinths to not be scared by his sense of direction failing him. The Lost Woods, Death Mountain, the graveyard - Link’s wandered his whole Hyrule without a map. Walking aimlessly is nothing new to him at all. The only reason this time is different and faintly alarming is because Link doesn't remember why he'd be lost in the first place.

I was at the cave, Link thought, picking some mushrooms and shoving them in his bag, I didn't wander far. Not even a ten minute walk.

But he must have wandered farther than he thought because nothing looked familiar anymore. Climbing trees and checking above the treeline also bore no fruit because Hyrule Castle, normally an easy-to-spot landmark, was simply not where it was supposed to be. By which he meant - it was simply not there at all.

Or Hyrule manages to wander straight into Sky's Hyrule without even realizing it. It causes more confusion than you'd think it would.

[mochascorner]

A Ding, a Dent, and a Death

Don’t you just love when you tell yourself to “write, just write - doesn’t matter what. It’s all just practice” and so as a result you end up with ten thousand little ficlets that will never be expanded upon? Don’t you love that? I love that. I love that so much. It’s so fun. I love drowning in tiny little story snippets. Yay.

———

“He's going to kill you.” Legend says bluntly. He leans back against the tree he’d been peacefully napping against earlier. He sets aside Four's shield down. "I can't fix this. And even if I could, there's no way Four wouldn't notice the repair job."

Wild moans into his knees, "But I thought you said you were a smith!"

"I never finished my apprenticeship." Legend sniffs.

"But you know the basics don't you?" Wind asks curiously. He'd been drawn over from the other side of camp by the promise of mischief, and now stayed to watch the end of what was sure to be a disaster. The sailor takes the shield to examine the damage himself.

"Isn't this an easy enough fix? How hard can it be to reattach the straps and buff out a few scratches and dents?" He turns the shield over in his hands, running calloused fingers down metal, "I've done maintenance on my own shield before and this doesn't look much worse than mine did after my battle with Molgera. I patched mine well enough, and I didn't even know anything about metalworking!"

"Yeah!" Wild's head pops up from his legs to gesture wildly at Wind, clinging to hope "And surely if a complete novice like Wind can buff out a few dents then someone with actual training can manage this! C'mon Leg! Give it a shot!"

Legend shots them both an annoyed look, "If you think it's so easy then why not do it yourself?"

"Because I don't fix things, Vet. I break them."

Fair enough.

Legend waves them off impatiently, "It's not a matter of being able to fix it. It's a matter of fixing it to a degree that Four won't notice - which he definitely will. If this was Wars or even the Old Man we were talking about, I'd give it a shot. But Four's got too good an eye for this stuff. He's a Master Smith - that's not just a title you slap on any two-bit metalworker who knows what a pair of tongs are. Four would spot someone else's work on his equipment in a heartbeat."

Legend takes the shield out of Wind's hands and dumps it in Wild's reluctant ones. The champion acts like Legend just handed him a lit bomb.

"Look," Legend tells him, "You're not getting out of this. Best to bite the arrow and explain it to Four before the smith chooses to beat the truth out of you. You're going to spill the beans either way - it's time to just minimize the damage."

"That's what I'm trying to do!" Wild wails. His eyes grow to the size of dinner plates as he quickly checks over his shoulder to make sure no angry smiths were in the vicinity. Luckily for him, Four was still out helping Twilight with the wash.

Wild lowers his voice anyway, "Look, I'm going to tell Four what happened regardless. I'm not trying to hide anything. But I was just thinking that if I could fix the damage before he gets back then maybe he won’t be so angry."

"Not a chance," Legend punctures Wild's octo balloon of false hope, "If anything, he'll end up even more pissed that an amature tried to fix it at all. One thing I learned in my apprenticeship?It's easier to do it right the first time than it is to have to work around someone else's sloppy attempts."

Not to mention that if Legend so much as breathed on the shield then he’d end up on the chopping block, too. And while the Veteran would take a sword or an arrow for the champion, he wasn't going to take a pissed off Four.

Wild, seeing the clear lack of sympathy, switched tactics. “I can't believe you're chickening out of a challenge. What, do you do sloppy work or something?"

"Compared to Four I do." Legend refuses to be baited into signing his own death certificate. He gives Wild a very severe look to make that clear.

Wild groans dramatically again and flops face-down on the grass. Wind leans down from his seat to pat him patronizingly.

"It's okay bud," The sailor comforts, "Four's a reasonable guy. I'm sure he'll understand."

From the opposite side of their log-turned bench, Legend snorts ungracefully.

“Oh yeah, sure. I'm sure Four will totally understand you using his favorite shield to stupidly surf down a hill. You know, the shield he basically fist fought a Like-Like for. The one he values more than his own life."

"I didn't mean to!" Wild rolls onto his back and put his face in his hands in shame. He really hadn't meant to use Four’s shield at all - it was just a terminal case of absent mindedness that caused this whole predicament!

An unfortunate side effect of using a constantly-revolving roster of weapons and shields is that Wild never really learned to distinguish his things from others'. He'd always operated on a very simple set of rules:

1. Was it strapped to someone else? Not his.

2. Was it on the floor and unguarded? His.

Wild made an effort to remember that that wasn't always the case, especially now that he was traveling with a group. But sometimes he simply forgot and instinct took over. It was hardly the first time he'd nabbed someone else's weapon to use without thinking about it, although it was the first time he'd broken something.

(Well, aside from the Master Sword incident. But they don't talk about the Master Sword incident and Sky sleeps with his sword now, anyway.)

And of all the things to break it just had to Four's beloved shield.

And now Wild was going to die.

Again.

[mochascorner]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/39802755

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

The world is rocking. Or maybe just Four is. He can't tell. When he opens his eyes reality is a blur of colors, dizzying and confusing. Four groans and turns his face from the light, nauseated.

The hand around his shoulder squeezes lightly, thumb rubbing small circles. "You awake, Four?"

Or, A fluffy sickfic. That’s it. This is just Four getting wrapped up in blankets and hugs. There isn’t even a plot here, just a thinly veiled excuse about poison or something to have Four allow himself to be cuddled.

[mochascorner]

Milk

For the word ask. I forgot about the ask and for a good three seconds I was wondering why I was getting ‘milk’t in my inbox 😅

——

Wind cracked an eye open and looked up at the woman who stood above him, drink in hand.

"Here, can you try drinking this, sweetie?"

He didn't really want to, but the woman gently nudged him until he was forced to sit up, grumbling all the way. She held the drink out as he fought against the blankets to sit up and free one hand to take it. Once he did, she helped him curl his numb fingers around the mug and let go gently, lingering in case his clumsy fingers dropped it. Thankfully he managed to hold it, though it took much more effort than it should have.

"Good," she beamed at him, making him flush. She reminded him of Malon, a little. But her accent was a bit heavier. Familiar, like someone else he knew. He just couldn't place it right now. He sipped the milk and found it to be pleasantly warm.

——

Four and Wind get teleported into a snowstorm and get rescued by some familiar NPC’s.

Oh goodie lol - another wip I have no idea where I’m going with 😂 Although this one is several thousand words already so I’m way more determined to work through it lol

Maybe I should rethink my “just sit down and write whatever comes to mind” approach to fanfic. It seems to give me a lot of beginnings, but no endings LOL

[pragnificent]

Send me a word, if it’s in my wip document I’ll answer your ask with the sentence that it appears in.

[mochascorner]

The Scars We Carry

Old wip I don’t think I’ll be going anywhere with. Pre-Wolfie reveal of course

—————

There's a scar on Twilight's wrist.

Wars can't stop thinking about it.

It's not a normal scar. It circles around his entire wrist, and is even on all sides. The skin is red and raised, it's clearly been rehealed over and over until the scar tissue was likely numb. It's usually hidden beneath his gauntlets or sleeves, but when Twilight washes up or removes his gloves Warriors can see it poking out.

All of the heroes have scars. Even the little ones have a few smatterings despite their claims. It's not unexpected; the hero's life is a rough one and injuries are unavoidable no matter how good someone is. So there's nothing strange about Twilight having one in theory but...

That's a shackle scar. Warriors has seen enough of them on rescued prisoners of war to know it by sight. Those wretched marks of captivity branded on his men never got easier to see.

A mark left from a blade or a burn wouldn't catch his attention. But a shackle? Those take time to rub the skin off and even longer to leave permanent marks. And for the marks to be so prominent?

Warriors isn't sure he wants to know.

Except that he really, really does because every time he spots the marks peeking out from under Twilight's sleeve he has to bottle uncomfortable anger.

The heroes don't talk too much about their adventures. Well, they do sometimes. But the details are always vague and heavy stuff is avoided like the plague. The swordsmen will talk about hilarious encounters or interesting moments but not a word about anything substantial is uttered.

Warriors can't even claim to be annoyed about it because that would make him a hypocrite of unparallelled proportions. So he won't blame Twilight for being tight lipped about whatever caused such a horrid scar.

But he will lie awake and wonder who chained Twilight up like an animal. And why? For how long? Days, weeks, months? Certainly long enough to permanently scar him. And did they just chain him up, or did they do other things too? Interrogate him? Starve him? Torture him?

These questions drive him mad.

But that's Warriors problem.

He wasn't going to dredge up old memories by asking Twilight. He won't risk churning up painful memories just to sate his curiosity. Either the rancher would provide that information himself one day, or Warriors would simply die ignorant.

A good plan.

Except it wasn't, because two weeks later Twilight rolls up his sleeves to help Wild cut up the deer the pair had just hunted and the mark on his wrist is freshly inflamed.

[mochascorner]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/39222822

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

“You look like an upside-down tortilla chip.”

Wars sniffs haughtily, “At least my head doesn’t account for half my body mass.”

Four just snorts in response and rolls his unnervingly gigantic eyes, “That’s just a testament to my big brain.”

“No, I'm pretty sure it’s just Wind’s world being weird.”

OR the boys realize that the hardest part of traveling through time and space is not the evil monster trying to kill them, but the time and space thing.

[mochascorner]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/38897346

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Warriors thought Twilight was one of the smart, mature, responsible members of the group.

He was very wrong.

Or, the group discovers just how irresponsible Twilight can be.

—————

Twilight is a big himbo and we talk about the absurdity that is the TP bridge repairs. If you’ve ever played TP, you know what I’m talking about

[mochascorner]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/38832246

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Four has never felt bitter about his role as the hero. Sure, it tore his soul apart and altered his life permanently, but he never resented picking up a sword and battling evil. Why would he? He was protecting his home, his friends, and his family. It was a burden he carried happily, one he accepted of his own free will. No matter how dangerous and painful, Four would rise to the occasion every time.

Hyrule is their home, and when she bleeds so do they. To resent protecting her is to resent protecting themselves.

This was simple logic. Or, it was supposed to be.

It doesn’t feel simple now.

His Grandfather's grave is beautiful.

[mochascorner]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/38757282

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Time does a headcount and forgets to count his own head.

Math is hard when your father was a plant.

[initforthecache]

Actually happened:

Me: *laying in bed, still awake at 1:00 AM*

Me: *counting on fingers* Time, Twilight, Sky, Wars, Twilight,... no. Time, Twilight, Sky, Wild, Legend, Hyrule, Four, Wind... WARS.... Thats nine.... ARE THERE ONLY NINE? AM I FORGETTING SOMEONE. *lapses into existential crisis*

[telemna-hyelle]

I know exactly how you feel I always feel like I’m missing one when I count them

[qsmp-tubbo-deactivated20240406]

I went into that image of the comic with them all and counted them to check once after I was convinced I was missing someone in an rp, I counted them like five times before deciding that I, infact wasn't missing anyone

[telemna-hyelle]

After all this, now all I want is a fic where Time is constantly counting the boys to make sure everyone's accounted for and being constantly haunted by the fear that he's forgetting one

[astral-catastrophe]

Time does a headcount and he panics bc he only counted eight links. He frantically tries to figure out who is missing before realizing that he forgot to include himself in the headcount and that’s why he thought someone was missing

[mochascorner]

Count is hard when you were raised by a tree

(I love these ideas! Time being dumb is great and underutilized and there should be more of that so I decided to do my part)

Another day, another portal.

As Time exits the swirling mass of darkness he subtly shakes himself, as if to flick off the residual magic.

He wasn't the only one affected by the dark magic; Hyrule was far less subtle in shivering at the feeling and Legend blinked furiously as if bright lights were flashed in his face, eyebrows scrunched up in mild annoyance. Wind was kneeling beside Four, who had promptly tilted over and clutched at his aching head and rolling stomach.

In stark contrast stood Twilight and Warriors, who were already doing a quick sweep of the area to determine any danger. Neither of them have ever had any problem with the portals and were quite comfortable moving between time and space via darker means. Both had gotten used to the dizzying effects of portals during their journeys.

Sky and Wild were just as unaffected, although in their case it was simply a matter of their magic being dormant. Wild held Epona's reins and Sky was quickly trotting over to Wind to offer his assistance with the smith.

Time counts them mentally.

Hyrule, Legend, Four

Twilight, Warriors, Wind

Sky and Wild....

Eight.

Eight?

He counts heads to be sure.

One two three.... Eight again.

Time's pulse quickens.

This time when he counts he lifts his finger and bobs between bodies to be extra sure.

Sky, Wind, Four, Hyrule, Legend, Wild, Twilight, Warriors.

Eight.

"Someone's missing!" Time calls, swiveling around to look at the portal to see if someone else walks through, "Who's missing?"

Warriors reacts in a split second. His eyes pass over every hero, counting heads and metanlly marking them off. Twilight is right behind him, moving around the group and patting each hero on the head to do a literal headcount. Around them, the rest of the heroes all lurch into action, picking up anything they dropped and glancing around to try to find out who was not among them.

Time joined them, mentally running down the list of heroes by age.

Wind - check

Four - check

Hyrule - check

Legend - check

Wild - check

Sky - check

Twilight - check

Warriors - check

That's eight.

Who the hell is missing? Time blanks, failing to conjure up another face.

Oh goddess, He thinks, Not only am I missing one - I'm outright forgetting them!

A hand plants itself firmly on his head, ruffling his hair. Twilight chuckles with relief when Time turns to him and meets Time's stressed eyes with a serene expression.

"Nine," Twilight announces, ruffling his hair playfully as he's known to do to the younger Links, "All present and accounted for."

Warriors exhales and loses that edge in his eyes as he confirms Twilight's count.

"Goddess, Old man," Legend groans, slumping in relief, "How many times have we done this? You still don't know how many of us there are?"

"I know perfectly well there's nine of us," Time insists, still tense. He doesn't see another kid he missed. Who was he missing?

"Then why did you say someone was missing," Four grouches, lowering himself back down to the floor. Getting up suddenly seems to have made his affliction worse and he goes sickly green.

"Because I only count eight!" To be sure, he counts one last time, "I'm still only seeing eight. Captain, where are you seeing nine?"

Warriors blinked at him slowly. And then, "Really? Only eight?"

"Only eight," Time answered seriously.

"Hmm," Wars hummed, considering the elder. There’s something in his expression that rankles Time’s nerves, "Count them for me, if you please."

"One two three four five six seven eight," Time finished, pointing to each kid and ending with a jabbing finger to Wars’ chest on the final count, "Eight, as I said."

Wars glanced at him and, seeing how serious he was, exchanged looks with Twilight, who's expression was bordering on amused. It was jarring to see, since Twilight was usually the one most concerned about the safety of the group. It boiled Time's blood, the flagrant disregard for the safety of whoever was missing, and he turned on his descendant, "Something funny about missing someone, Twilight?"

"Uh," Twilight jerked away at Time’s intensity, but his lips still twitched ever upwards, humor undefeated by his intimidation by Time's glare.

"Nine."

War pokes Time in the chest before Twilight can respond. The captain meets Time’s eyes boldly, full blown smirk on his face, "You forgot yourself."

Time blinks and then stares down at the finger lightly resting on his chest, breathing heavily as his heart struggles to catch up with his brain. Nine.

Wind, Four, Hyrule, Legend, Wild, Sky, Twilight, Warriors....

Time.

Nine.

Relief is fleeting in the reality of eight grinning bokoblins.

"I think his age is finally catching up to him," Hyrule is the first to descend upon his momentary lapse, smiling large and teasing. He loudly whispers this to Legend, who snorts in agreement.

"It's the gray hairs," Legend whispers back, conspiratorial, "I hear those things feed on brain cells. What a tragedy."

Time glowers at them in an attempt to stop the inevitable but it's too late - the rest of them are quick to dogpile.

"Don't worry," Wild teases, "I know for fact that Malon thinks you're pretty. And I'm sure there are plenty of pickle jars to open at the ranch."

"Malon opens her own pickle jars," Time crosses his arms, trying to save his dignity in vain, "This was just a fluke."

"Okay," Wars shrugs with false nonchalance. The captain’s tone is mild, but Time’s face heats up.

"No, really," Time insists, pride bleeding.

"I believe you," Wars agrees in a tone that disagrees with the words, a huge smirk on his face. Time sees the trap Warriors is setting, but he can’t help but trip into it.

“I can though.”

“It's okay, Old Man. Addition isn't for everyone.”

“I know how to add, Wars.”

“Of course you do.” Warriors has mastered the art of passive patronization. Time’s ears go red all the way to the tips as he attempts to defend his mathematical abilities.

“You think that's why he doesn't tell us how old he is?” Twilight asks Legend and Hyrule, deliberately loud enough to be overheard. His smile is sharp and his eyes speak of vengeance for Time’s earlier glare. Time vows to never have children to rectify this.

“Great scott! Rancher, I think you've cracked the code!” Legend laughs. He and Hyrule crowd around the rancher and the sight reminds Time of a particularly horrid murder of crows.

Time can’t help himself, “I know how to do math!”

“Sure you do, Time. It's fine, really,” Wars pats him on the back condescendingly.

“Yeah,” Sky cut in like a shark smelling blood, “I know enough algebra for both of us! Don't sweat it!”

“That's not-” Time sputters, taken off guard by Sky’s betrayal, “I know how to count!”

“Uh huh.” Wars nods.

“No, really! I'll prove it! Ask me a math question!” Thus the hole gets deeper. There’s no coming back from this. Time can feel it. This is going to hang over his head the rest of their journey. He’ll never hear the end of it. But goddess damn it he can’t stop himself!

“Oh, how the mighty fall,” Four grins despite his pale face.

Time glowers down at him, “I don't want to hear that from you - you just puked into the grass.”

“And yet I still have more dignity than you. Say’s quite a bit about this situation, doesn’t it?”

Time can’t help but sulk as the harpies chortle and snicker. Traitors, all of them. He can’t believe he ever thought of them as noble. How quickly respect is lost.

A slight tap on his arm. Time glances down to see the sailor comfortingly patting him.

“It’s okay,” Wind says, “Don’t mind them. I get it.”

His tone and face seem sincere. Time lets himself feel a little bit of hope. Of course Wind wouldn’t let him down - if there is one thing he can count on it’s the Wind would always look up to him, “Thank you, sailor. It's nice to know at least one of you is on my side.”

He glowers at the rest of them, who stare back at him with unrepentant glee.

“Of course I’m on your side,” Wind puffs up his chest.

“Joykill,” Four boos.

“It’s not funny,” Wind turns on him with a very serious face, clearly meaning every word, “Just because someone doesn’t know math doesn’t mean it’s okay to tease them. Tree’s aren’t great at counting, okay? So it’s not fair to make fun of the Old Man for it. Just because he doesn’t know how to add doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve respect, okay?”

Deathly silence.

No one finds the words. Just disbelieving looks and shock. A timer starts at the back of Time’s mind. His insides shrivel and die.

Oh no, He thinks, This is much, much worse.

Wind, oblivious to the ticking time bomb he just set off, turn back to Time’s stunned face, “Just so you know - I don’t care about the math thing at all. Everyone is bad at something, so don’t feel bad about it. I still respect you.”

He’s so earnest it hurts.

Time hears the detonation.

Legend is the first to break. The veteran bends in half, cackling. Hyrule and Wild are fast to join him, tears streaming down their faces. The others just smile wide enough that it must be hurting their faces.

And in the middle of it all, Time stands around the shredded remains of his pride.

“Sailor,” He says mournfully, “I know how to count.”

“You don’t have to lie,” Wind is oblivious to the irrevocable damage he’s done, “You’re still a great hero in my eyes!”

Warriors breaks character. He howls until he wheezes, both in laughter and because of Time's elbow in his diaphragm.

[bloodraven55]

that some people respond to any well-foreshadowed reveal with “ugh that plot twist was so predictable” proves bad faith criticism has rotted their brains to the point they think it’s bad writing if they can correctly identify information the writers were intentionally giving them

[bloodraven55]

like you do realise that the entire point of set up and pay off is that you’re supposed to pick up on the clues the writers give you right? you do understand that plot twists only work when they retroactively make sense bc there were hints building up to the reveal right??

[mochascorner]

If you give a Rancher a Bottle

I just like dumbass Twi, okay?

"Ooh! Look!"

Wild swiveled his head to check out what had caught Wind's attention. The sailor was pointing at a local potion shop, a sale display in the window.

"Half price on red potions!" Wind read aloud, "We should definitely grab some. Leg would kill us if we skipped on a good deal."

The sailor dug around in his bag and produced a single empty bottle, "I have one. How many do you have?"

"None," Wild admitted, "I filled them all up just last week when we got snowed in. Mostly temperature adjusters, though. Hearty ingredients are a pain to find."

Wind hummed thoughtfully. His eyes roved over the street until they landed on Twilight, who was hovering nearby at a food stand, examining a crate of apples. "Twi! Do you have an empty bottle!?"

The rancher perked up at the sound of his name. Spotting Wind's waving arms, Twilight trotted over so he wouldn't have to scream over the sound of the crowd, "I don't. All my bottles are full right now. Why?"

"Because the sailor wants to buy red potions. I don't know why, though. I have enough meals for everyone. They work just as well," Wild shrugged.

"Yeah, but not everyone can scarf down a whole roast bird in the middle of a fight," Twilight snorts, "Hmm, half off? That is a good deal. Alright, gimme a second, sailor. I'll empty one of my bottles for you."

"Oh, you don't have to-"

"Nah, it's fine," Twilight waves Wind off, pulling out his bottle, "It's just a little bait for fishing. But there's no real need for it. Plus, I can always find more if I really need it. One second."

Inside the glass Wild can see some kind of insect mass crawling around. Larve, or something. Twilight uncorks the bottle and Wild pulls his slate off his belt. He can store the insects away so Twilight doesn't have to just dump them. No need to waste.

"Here," Wild starts reaching for the bottle, "Let me take-"

Twilight suddenly knocks the bottle back like a shot glass, swallowing the mass of writhing insects in a single gulp.

Wild's fingers curl like withered leaves and his face freezes. Stunned, silent horror runs like ice through Wild's whole body. His muscles lock and he's frozen, watching the savage he once thought of like a brother wipe his mouth on his own sleeve.

Wind, equally aghast, tries to shout and gag at the same time, eyes bulging and unable to unsee the insectoid carnage he just witnessed. He sputters and points, words failing him. He pales and then goes green.

Twilight just looks at them in confusion, recorking the bottle. He frowns curiously, glancing between them.

"What?"

[mochascorner]

The experience of going through your WIPs is like unearthing ancient tomb filled with treasures from days long past that reveal the secrets of your own psyche while also getting cursed for desecrating the grave because holy shit what is this cringe trash did I even know what a comma was

[mariorsomething]

bitches will be like “i love my blorbos they mean so much to me 🥺 🥺 🥺” and then draw them in complete and utter anguish having the worst time of their lives.

[justlookatthosesausages]

Ah, yes, it's all coming together