momoka

i'll stick around if you will.

[mofumomoka]

"what can you smell"

(4/4/25)

the swaying thurible, engrossed in smoke pungent copper erupts up close  melding within the skin ripened maroon swirling, soured by time  sharpness drawing tears and as waves wash over me, i feel it in my skin sea salt awakening old wounds  aging skin into leather putrid breath and the aging wood  war of attrition led by religion

c.m

[mofumomoka]

fig tree

(3/4/25)

it is in my nature to want everything   do everything and i spread myself so thin translucent, glimmering reflections until i understand what i am here for maybe i will never know but at least my roots will grow past horizons and my branches will shift the sunlight at your feet

c.m

[mofumomoka]

go on, just say it

(1/4/25)

i can see it claw at your throat there is something evil trying to climb out and as much as you swallow that bile   burning holes on its way down you just can’t do it   “is it so hard to say what you mean?” and god forbid i force it out of you as much as i can beg and bleed nothing budges and i am stuck alone   again    and again i choose what is destined to hurt me i miss the rage and the torment i am destined to repeat myself   again    and again   “is it ever enough for you?”

c.m

[mofumomoka]

cinematic goodbye

(6/2/25)

there’s a deluded part of me that wishes to be the hero, the saviour   rush to your side and hold you gently bathe in the gentle glow of the sunset at the end of our grueling endeavour but i am not built to be that character something genetically denies that glory and all that is left is for me to isolate   burn bridges until their strings snap violent and desperate  singed salt away to live like a myth

c.m

[mofumomoka]

never wrote a song for you

(25/1/25)

and it will stay that way not once did i feel love from you only hatred and repulsion it was almost as if you weren’t present when you chose to dedicate your heart as if something had possessed you to speak kindly so i will continue to intertwine my soul with words melodies imbued with pure desire and know for sure that it will never reach you

c.m

[mofumomoka]

disease

(16/1/25)

you always seem to find me at my worst some deformed shadow lurking within nightmares the medicine no longer works and i am decaying resting on your ceiling when the nights are longer but when you wake, so necessarily pure wanting to assimilate wholly and holy begging me to confess what it is that corrupts me knowing that the wound will not close until the end

c.m

♫

[mofumomoka]

carnival of stars

(11/1/25)

as the sky falls upon us pulse in my throat cold breeze stings tears stars burst with ancient energy their laughs almost maniacal knowing they will singe the air and sunder the earth below

c.m

[mofumomoka]

eat your heart out

(8/1/25)

it’s an incessant need to prove yourself for god and for glory it will wither whatever is left of your soul bound to drag a corpse around dragging your feet as if that will help knowing it will all end as grotesque you may choose - by your hands or theirs

c.m

[mofumomoka]

nice to meet me

(3/1/25)

is there something tainted in my words? what about me is so confusing to you? i know that i stumble over myself over and over and oh there was never anything wrong with me it was simply another that proved more sufficient more substance and obsession for you i wouldn’t drag bare feet over glass for you and that could never be enough for you so if i must bridge gaps with my spine then i will do it to have known you

c.m

[mofumomoka]

and, we disappear

(1/1/25)

if i stop posting updating the status obsessive  non-stop you know everything about me but if i stopped  ripped myself off the screen i could never have existed to you my paper trail turns to ash back to strangers of the same planet it is so easy to fade away

c.m

[mofumomoka]

i'm not sure i know how to let you carry this with me

(18/8/24)

it’s like the gentleness i see i wish to feel it deep in my skin seeing it offered to me at an arm’s length knowing you fear what i say next and that you can see me as broken as i am and no offence, but you can see where i stand knowing that i am so distant  so fucking afraid if i let it escape for even a second it will come rushing out, overflowing almost an emotional levee that was built on rot acknowledged for even a second and it ruptures

c.m

[mofumomoka]

ode to shorter nights (rewritten)

(28/6/24)

good evening three o’clock sunset soon to be living entirely in darkness as gorgeous as the night sky blooms i cannot count on the moon to hold me close fumbling knitwear and warmth of soul the journey in the night does not feel so lonely

c.m

[mofumomoka]

how to exist

(29/4/24)

kiss me on the mouth love loud like a sailor show the world you care hold on no matter how far apart when you get a taste when you get to know me tell me my flavour show me myself in your light i don’t believe in god i have no trust in love but i believe you’re my saviour i know you will teach me how

c.m

♫

[mofumomoka]

the absolute limit

(27/4/24)

burnt in tulle, lung stuck to ribs rumours and suspicion wretched and divine strings that taunt me viscous mockery in music and if it will cost me my life it will be perfect.

c.m

♫

[mofumomoka]

unexpected transmission

(24/4/24)

you’re a grown man / you’re a grown leader the strongest of our men our only hopes of a clean shot you’re a good shot / you’re a good soldier of all the things to be be strong, be good you’re a criminal / you’re a nonsense split open the grave mouth if my bones fall away, skin and dust clouds maybe in death, the worst is over

c.m

♫

[mofumomoka]

desire

(22/4/24)

lie to whoever it is you crave attention from hope that your alteration of reality pleases them enough to stop that emptiness if lying next to me at night isn’t enough anymore don’t come crying to me looking for belief i am not your god and i will show your lies i won’t wait for you to want me, to crave me if there is no desire then i shall stop looking for your light

c.m

[mofumomoka]

the problem of death

(21/4/24)

we know the end is so close almost frozen to the touch and yet we wander into that snowstorm stripping the cloth from my bones hypothermic death in the brightest sun and at the top of the mountain i will drink in the mist over the heavens knowing the end will always be the end

c.m