Better sexy and racy than sexist and racist

Pansexual and Polyamorous Psychonaut and Future Nudist I love videos of small animals and people mixing paint

[valtsv]

booty shorts that say “god won't let me die” on the ass

[soup-erb]

this post can only be reblogged if

you agree its kinda fucked up how a goblet is a cup and not a tiny goblin 

[crabdominalpain]

“Whats UP YOUTUBE! Today we gonna do another Unboxing Video!” *a shovel in hand, I enter the Graveyard*

[rabioheab-deactivated20200416]

there could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea

[koobaxion-deactivated20220403]

here’s a hot take: giftwrap is dumb, 95% of the time you can just hand someone the thing and accomplish the same task. Society has conditioned us to love wrapping shit up for no reason, probably by gift wrap industry people.

[dunkstein]

Counterpoint: monkey instinct says uncovering secret bounty from colorful shell good as fuck

[setheverman]

I love your profile pic, what kind of highlight do yo use?

bright lamp and sweat

[thearcanatweets]

[mollymoonface]

me [searching the beach with my child]: sorry honey, doesn't look like there's any sand dollars left

child: can't the ocean just make more of them?

me: and cause inflation? destroy the sand economy? jesus christ Tiffany, use your head

[ostolero]

it’s about time I contributed to the online discourse

bricks are domesticated rocks

[chaoticnasty]

Stop

[hellsite-yano]

Let them speak

[averagefairy]

my favorite version of myself is when i get out of the shower and the mirror is so steamy i am just a blurry mass of color with no identity or defining physical characteristics. she kills it

[trapcard]

if I was a mutant I would have def joined magneto like that’s the obvious right choice

[trapcard]

magneto: I think we should- me: I agree lets go

[lmaonade]

brain: do you have your wallet?

me: *slaps my ass so hard everyone in the target can hear it*

me: yeah

[pochowek]

brain: do you have your wallet and your phone and your keys and your pocket knife and y-

me: *playing my ass and thighs like a bongo set at this point*

[mymalawach]

Anyone else glad it isn’t the early 1900’s. Cause ur family would have had u lobotomized

[theroguefeminist]

little known fact, once you are older & no longer in school, time stops being real. did that thing happen one year ago? two? five? a few months ago? who knows. 

[10000bc]

sometimes i’ll see ppl in their early 20’s completely fucking covered in tattoos and im like damn what if one day youre 33 and u want a new tattoo but u cant get one cuz u done run out of skin

[rhv]

seduce me with ur history knowledge 

[simaraknows]

vikings made their woman handle the finances because they thought math is witchcraft

[danray002-deactivated20241205]

During a military campaign, Vlad the Impaler, the basis for Dracula, once pulled his troops out of a major engagement in a valley at dusk so that the sun was in their enemies’ eyes. Once they were over the hill, they set loose a bunch of rabid bats who flew away from the sun (towards the enemy) and attacked them, leading to significant infection in their ranks, and Vlad’s eventual victory. Because of how the bats appeared from where Vlad’s soldiers appeared to be at dusk, myth stated that the soldiers turned into bats at night, which is where the “Dracula can change into a bat” thing came from.

[lapisbitch]

raphael, the renaissance painter, literally fucked himself to death

[sirl33te]

during the Ottoman Empire, the Sultan Ibrahim I had 280 of his concubines drowned in the ocean after ONE of them slept with another man.

[verysadskeleton]

The earths carbon levels fell by 700 million tons because Genghis Khan killed so many people

[stitch-n-time]

King James (the one known for revising the Bible) liked to watch women give birth. That’s where the “tradition” of women laying on their backs to give birth comes from.

Previous to that it was common for women to have chairs with holes in them and straw underneath, so they could sit on this special chair and let gravity help with the birthing process.

[kanthia]

Spicy foods were thought to increase libido and cause children to masturbate. To prevent kids from touching themselves at night, a man named Kellogg invented the blandest combination of cereals, marketed it at kids, and called it Corn Flakes

[spockyykins]

At the Battle of Gettysburg during the American Civil War, a small group of Union soldiers had run out of ammo against a large group of the Confederate Army. In a panic, the Union soldiers sprinted at them, screaming, with only bayonets drawn. The entire Confederate Army that was present turned and ran away in fear, not knowing that they had literally no ammunition.

[obaewankenope]

When the Roman Emperor Caligula went to invade Britain he stood on the coast of Gaul with his army and suddenly declared war on Neptune, God of the Sea. He had his men collect sea shells from the shore as “spoils from the Ocean”.

Oh and he appointed his horse to the senate.

[nat-20s]

During the Austro-Prussian war of 1868, Liechtenstein sent over an army of 80 people, but ended up coming back with 81 people because they befriended a guy on the other side.

[aphony-cree]

People refused to send art and sculptures to be displayed at the Chicago World’s Fair because of Chicago’s history with fire. They had to fireproof the Fine Arts building to get people to agree to loan them their art. A year after the fair closed most of the grounds were destroyed by fire but the Fine Arts building survived. It’s now the Museum of Science and Industry.

[naphula]

The carbon emissions thing from Ghenghis Khan is not the whole story. He also planted trees wherever he conquered land because he liked trees and thought they were important. He conquered enough to make an impact on the global climate.

[givemeunicorns]

Radu III, brother of Vlad III( Vlad the Impaler)  nearly killed Mehmed II, the future Sultan of the Ottoman’s, after Mehmed invited him up to his chambers. Radu, seemingly unaware that the offer was sexual in nature, was startled when Mehmed embraced and then tried to kiss him. Radu stabbed the prince in the leg, then ran and hid in a tree. They later became lovers, and maintained a relationship for the rest of their lives

[queerstorian]

Just googled the last one because holy shit that’s magnificent and seemed to good to be true, but not only did it actually happen, but I also learned that radu was known as “radu the beautiful”

[afewreelthoughts]

fun date idea: stab him in the leg

[eggcup-deactivated20180129]

doctor: well we don’t have a cure for “insatiable lust for pasta” but i’m going to prescribe you zoloft because clearly something is wrong and i don’t care enough to find out what

me: sounds good doc