Hey, what's up?

Nothing much

[baelonthebrave]

when you fail a level 20 times and the loading screen is like “remember you can always change the difficulty setting in the options menu!! :))”

[blackwoolncrown]

Are straight white people okay????

What is this?!

[squeezemetillipop]

People like this exist. Interesting.

[feliicityrampant]

this story has a part 2

[doctormemes]

THERE IS A PART 3 WITH GUEST RESPONSES I REPEAT THERE IS A PART 3 THIS IS NOT A DRILL

[bullyfemme]

[glorious-scumbag]

I thought things couldn’t get more horrifyingly amusing than the woman who wanted people to pay $1000 each to go to her wedding so she could “feel like a Kardashian for a day” and had a Facebook breakdown about it saying she was gonna go backpacking in Peru to “find herself” after being “betrayed” by her friends who didn’t want to partake but here we are

[caffeinatedcorvid]

I thought it was the same person ngl.

[imsuchacapricorn]

I’m in the wedding shaming group and saw both this and the Peru post before it went viral. Love it.

[imsuchacapricorn]

THERE’S AN UPDATE

[a-melior-ate]

Stephanie is a true hero.

[hemilf]

my favorite thing about this update is that the fact that we are even SEEING this means there’s AT LEAST one other snitch in the party that she hasn’t caught yet

[sunflower-cane]

“If youre not hiding anything youll let me look through this” is a gross manipulation tactic

You have every right to keep your stuff private, it is natural to not want people, no matter how close they are, going through your phone/papers/conversations/pictures.

Dont let them trick you into feeling bad because youre a human who wants privacy.

[otherwindow]

Creators: INTRODUCING A BRAND NEW FANTASY WORLD The world: [Medieval European setting with knights and castles. Elves live in the forest. Dwarves yelling and drinking. Orcs just green and angry. Dragons. Boob armour.]

[ifitaintbaroque]

I work at a coffee shop and have gotten all my co-workers to start calling lattes “hot milkybois”

[ifitaintbaroque]

I also got everyone to refer to the salted caramel blended drink as “the big salty” and I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments

[ifitaintbaroque]

Oh yeah and any time someone orders a hazelnut latte with almond milk (which specifically is a weirdly popular drink) I say “one HOT NUT latte coming right up!”

My coworkers have not latched on to this one like they did with the others for some reason.

[ifitaintbaroque]

I forgot to mention I also pronounce “hot chocolate” like “hot cocklate”… because I’m awful.

[goatbran-deactivated20190407]

please give us updates

[ifitaintbaroque]

Our largest drink size is affectionately referred to as “Texas Size” so sometimes when I hand it out in the drive-thru I like to say, “Here’s that TEXAS SIZE [drink] for ya, YEEEEHAW!”

And some people look at me as though I have just made their entire day while others look like they they could not possibly get away from me soon enough. Both reactions are equally satisfying. 

[ifitaintbaroque]

I made this into a game except when I hand out the Texas-size drinks I say “Can I get a YEEHAW?” And the guests always look mortified but occasionally one of them will let out a terrified “yeehaw” and all my coworkers cheer and then we keep a running tally of how many yeehaws we each get on the back of a pastry bag.

[antique-scarecrow]

op will not die of natural causes

[herotox5]

[xsunnyeclipse]

[reddit-tales]

What secret will you take to your grave?

In Dutch, when you boil an egg and then place it into cold water to make it easier to peel an egg, it’s called “to scare” the eggs.

One day when I was about 6 or 7, my mom asked me to “scare” the eggs. So, little joker I was, lifted the lid of the pan and yelled “BOOO!”

My mom cracked up and has been telling this story ever since, for over 20 years. She’s come to love the story and still truly thinks that I wanted to really “scare” the eggs. Truth is I knew what “scaring an egg” meant and only wanted to make her laugh because she was in a sad place and time back then.

It’s made her laugh for over 20 fucking years, that means it’s the best joke I’ve ever pulled off and I’d die before I’d let her find out I was just kidding.

[melitta4ever]

This is the sweetest thing.

[the-memedaddy]

me irl

[tdfarchive2-deactivated20191204]

Horrible Histories S01E03 ↳ Slimy Stuarts: Wife swap with the Miserables, a Puritan family, and the Merrys, a Restoration family

~ History ~

Some names such as Joy, Hope, and Mercy are still used today but others such as Silence, Discipline, and ‘If Christ had not died for thee, thou hadst been damned’ were real. Here is a list of more Puritan names

[my-little-yellowbird]

Tag yourself. I’m “Has-Descendents.”

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

History is one thousand times more utterly ridiculous than you might think O.O

[arctic-hands]

Faint-not, perfect for the one with syncope

[yesterdaysprint]

The Canton Independent-Sentinel, Pennsylvania, September 10, 1880

The Daily Commonwealth, Topeka, Kansas, June 6, 1883

The Minneapolis Journal, Minnesota, January 2, 1905

Daily Capital Journal, Salem, Oregon, April 4, 1916

Bernardsville News, New Jersey, July 14, 1938

The Age, Melbourne, Australia, May 3, 1941

[birchsoda]

Just imagine screaming those at the playground to get your kids!

[blackfemmejeanvaljean]

“FEAR-GOD GET YOUR ASS IN THE HOUSE THE STREETLIGHTS ARE ON! AND GET YOUR BROTHER HELP AND TELL THANKS TO BRING HER ASS HOME!”

[bunjywunjy]

okay but Damned Barebones is the most metal name I’ve ever heard

[vitrinanime]

[darning-socks]

you learn to take the little victories

[ilarual-archive]

I always got very excited when it would spell out ACDC

[badassthugmc]

OMG SAME FOR BOTH

[liquid-pie]

I always got very afraid when it was the same letter 4 times in a row

[neuralactivity]

when I was 4 or 5, my mom was a prof at a college and she used to hand me the scantron sheet before she wrote the exam and let me colour whatever lettered bubble i wanted for each answer. if i coloured two by accident, she made an ‘all of the above’ option. one time she gave me it and i coloured the ‘a’ bubble for each of the 130 questions except for the second last one and she just went with it later on, she told me that it was the most entertaining exam she had ever watched her students take

[cynntastic]

[virtuafighteryaoi-deactivated20]

same thread

[inkskinned]

uhhhhhhhhh i just figured out that “ofc” is “of fucking course” but this whole time i’ve been reading it “ofcourse” ………… anyway if u need a dumbass just hmu

[eroscestlavie]

evidence that lions as a species are just gay

a group of them is called a “pride”

sleep all the time in co-ed cuddle piles

i mean. the real reason i made this post is to post all these photos of same-sex lion groups. they’re just gay look at them! so loving.

im not going to post a pic of the gay lions fucking but we all know there are many 

they’re also just so naturally dramatic and comfortable like this guy? this man could dish on anyone at the watering hole and i’d believe him 

meanwhile lionesses are like one vegan bakery short of a lesbian network to rival your average new england small city.  look at them co-parenting and generally having a womanist community 

they also are just very tender and are clearly liberated and more than happy to live a life without men.

also they’re all so butch i mean look at them. they all look like they know how to put up some drywall you know?? you know?

some of the butchest ones even grow little manes. look at her! queen of gender nonconformity. 

also? tender. 

in conclusion lions are gay

[ghostsandgoblins]

[invaderxan]

Heard some important information on Twitter today, and thought I’d post it here for anyone who may not have heard it. This is actually a thing, devised by a human rights organisation called Karma Nirvana.

Reblog to save a life?