BL0G

spilling my guts. actor, theater maker | my new book ⬇️ www.25thebook.com

[monolid-monologues]

Came down here real quick to say hi 😁 I no longer work at my office job.. I also have some openings for new clients who are looking to materialize their ideas/visions through the power of Instagram (develop your virtual real estate 👀) Message me any questions & i can tell you more. I would love to help you manifest your shit. & Please tell any friends on the verge of starting a new project/film/production/business that Instagram is a powerful tool and I can help ✨ https://www.instagram.com/p/CNs8FbfsSHE/?igshid=1sageyj16fe2g

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my fingies r finna fall off

ya’ll ever do a epsom salt bath, but in a bowl, for your hands?

Highest of recommendations.

so much work on screens and devices 

too much demand and stress on the fingies

my thumbs are like aha fuck you

my right index like no seriously fuck you

my wrists like we will literally fuck you up if you don’t let us chill

erryone please take care of those hands

by erryone I mean MEEE

AHHHHHH *Sob*

I DEMAND TOO MUCH FROM MY HANDS

salt soak save me

man that’s a life goal for sure

while entrepreneurs ask themselves: HOW LITTLE TIME CAN I GIVE TO WORK WHILE MAKING THE MOSTEST MONEYS

I ask myself: HOW LITTLE TIME CAN I MAKE MY FINGERS TYPE TAP STRAIN while still doing eberything i do digitally slash online ;_;

I for one would like to avoid the day my hands just fuckin quittttt on me 

my gosh i’m really asking them to do too much tho

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am i a fool

long time. it’s been quite a long time.

i come to you very overwhelmed, strained and stressed.

i wish i was in better shape.

i’m kind of where i was last year when i was finishing up my book.

long nights, working alone, creating a new dream

with the hopes of it serving people organically, deeply, cataclysmically.

so im incredibly bright-eyed about what i’m creating

but also sleep-deprived, working on too many other things at the same time, and doing more than is physically-spiritually-emotionally good for me.

i’m telling myself everything else can wait,

but it kills me inside to watch everything else wait.

and it might be killing me inside literally? if i don’t stop side-hoe-ing my health?

for sure this is max capacity

for sure i can do ALL this, as long as I don’t do any more?

for sure i can’t be everywhere doing everything i want all the time

for sure my friends understand my absence? 

for sure my health won’t deteriorate SO bad? 

for sure this is..just for now?

about my disappearance: i got burnt from writing after publishing my book lmao 

i think there’s no coincidence between the book coming out and then my blog seeing steady decline. 

wrote my heart out literally, until i had nothing else to say for awhile.

here i am again

here we travel another stormy sea 

writing to you because i am hurting, struggling, and hell-bent to continue

manifesting this shit.

life is rocks right now

i’m to blame

i’m rocking my boat madly 

there’s leaks

and i’m paddling to the finish line MADLY

with major tunnel vision

which is like a double-edge sword

guiding me and hurting me at the same time like

CAN I OUTRUN AND OUTLAST THESE LEAKS?

AM I A FOOL?

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(We had gotten tested - him for school and me for work - and got negatives just before dis)

Friends who beach 2gether stay 2gether

122020

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📝 vlogmas day 2 : planning to quit my job & @crewnative x @latinocoalition.la underground art sesh 🔥#legalizestreetart My hump day included unauthorized mid-day smoke breaks lol and the opportunity to perform a new piece☮️!! 💛 Some Highlights during shady times: @ange_lit_a for living ur purpose alongside me living mine 📿🔮 & @artfullmarlene & @eastsidechulo for bringing together radical artists for some accessible, energetic joy , and that’s for all the ppl who tuned in last night & for the few folx in the building yest who really needed that. 💎 ironic gem 💎 because this shit is actually literally priceless. All my life , the lies!!! “you can’t get it till you make it.” We aint made shit but tell me how this community is so soulfully free and so full of joy. theee authenticity is the real gold 🔍 Shout out the usual suspects, yall 7, ILL SEE YOU TOMORROW. Join me :) #vlogmas #patreon (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CIWJbLFMKoY/?igshid=3p6nece1wv3a

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Us af

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Outside artists

Community. Vibes. Only.

(+ masks, plenty of space, and a whole lot of sage lol)

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Still and now

Every time i feel your weight

I will reach back inside myself and pull.

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i dont know who needs to see this but

there are some things we do just because we like it .

those are precious.

for gods sake W/E YOU DO, 

don't suck the fun out of it

protect & prioritize the source of joy 

none of it matters if its not fun anymore 

so

love that inner child OKEY?

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THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A COLLAB PROJECT TO KEEP YOU ACCOUNTABLE AF AND IN TIPPP TOPP SHAPE WITH WHAT ARE OTHERWISE VERY ARBITRARY DEADLINES

EVERYONE SHOULD BE COLLABORATING

SO MUCH WOULD GET DONE

SHOUT OUT JILLIAN 💖💖💖

SHOUT OUT AJ 💖💖💖

🛐

[monolid-monologues]

102020

Tuesday

Just thinking about how there is no ethical consumption under capitalism aha

Switching gears: the candy bracelets have lasted unusually long on me wrists. I have a terrible track record with jewelry so it is amuse lol.

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101920

Monday

I’m keeping track of all my looks this week (Trying to)

Those are my favorite black ankle boots there

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Oldie but a Goodie

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“consistency is key” they say

but once you commit to being more consistent with (whatever),

like you’ve summoned the power and the motivation within to get that shit lit

and you’ve started. you’re GOING. VROOM VROOM --

--  and then you become increasingly alert... to the way..... that the hardest part about being consistent....

is how naturally inconsistent and inconstant and chaotic real life is :) :) :) :)

that mf FRICTION between

you, who is changing to be more constant

and the universe, constantly changing. (AKA taking your constant and threatening it, constantly LOL)

When we commit to consistency we fr go up against every possible reason that would like to get in the way at any and all odd hours of a week.

wow

power on ya’ll.

stay

the

course

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101120

To the BLMLA general meeting wit Ahashy

And then a wingstop stop

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101020

Saturdays 8am-12pm with Angelita

We found the park for our play

We also found this little guy doing his Saturday morning house keeping 😩