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Header and Avatar by Fireballazalea
She would switch off the lights in the childhood bedroom where she still lived and, before meeting him, look up at the faintly glowing star stickers scattered across her ceiling. They were her night sky. Like a princess in a fairy tale, she whispered her deepest wish to those beautiful celestial bodies.
"Please, let me meet him. Let me see him, if only for a moment. I promise that'll be enough. I won't ask for anything more."
Then she would press play, letting music move her body. The stars on the ceiling seemed to dance with her. When it was over, she would collapse onto her bed, drenched in sweat and overflowing with emotion.
She lost the e in a particularly cruel way. She was sitting naked in front of the bathroom mirror, still fogged from the hot shower. Her hair was wet as she examined every part of her body. What use was it, after all, if the love she carried existed in another, immaterial world?
Besides, her body was hopelessly imperfect. The fat she had tried to diet away ever since her teenage years. A face marked by the wrong racial featuresâwithout almond-shaped dark eyes or flawless honey-colored skin. The unremarkable brown of her hair.
In that moment she felt such overwhelming hatred toward her own existence that she simultaneously realized she could truly belong to him only if her physical form were erased.
"Am, am", she swallowed the idea of bodilessness and spat out her flesh in disgust. She didn't need it â not in her imagined world.
Gradually, she even abandoned the desire to see the real object of her love. His group would soon be touring her city, and she could easily afford a ticket. But what was the point? Her prayer to the stars had lost its power. No, it was no longer enough simply to catch a glimpse of him. She wanted to possess him â to possess every edge of his soul. Yet she remained just tethered enough to reality to understand that such a thing was impossible.
The realization that she was merely one fan among thousands, a single drop in an endless ocean, brought her unbearable pain. Her emotional capacity wasn't large enough to contain such a corrosive feeling. It was easier to surrender to the temptation of nihilism, which, in her case, took the peculiar shape of an all-consuming self-hatred.
Her dream was absurd, of course, because she herself was insignificant. Inadequate.She repeated it to herself every day.
The final stage of her transformation reduced her identity to a single letter:
A.
Though it was pronounced not as a letter, but as Aaaa â the cry a child lets out after falling, once the stinging pain in scraped knees finally arrives.
But Aaaa had wounded something far deeper than her body. Her indifference toward the world kept her from seeking help.
One night she lay on the floor because the parquet felt pleasantly cool, its hardness offering some small sense of support. She stared at the glow-in-the-dark stars.
She no longer listened to music.
The stars had stopped dancing.Â
She wasn't even thinking about him.
She closed her eyes and imagined her flesh being slowly, agonizingly dissolved by acid.At that very moment, she felt a surge of intense arousal.
Perhaps Aaaa was nothing more than the breathless moan of her own bodilessness.
I made a moodboard for this because I had a vision. Please enjoy
Steve sat in the corner sipping herbal tea. Call him old-fashioned, but he didnât get the appeal of drinking coffee while the sun was setting. He was only here because Sam was seeing someone new and they had a mutual friend that Sam wanted to set Steve up with.
The bell on the door chimed and in walked the most beautiful man that Steve had ever seen.
Dark brown hair that was intentionally messy, just enough stubble that gave him a distinguished lookâSteve suspected clean shaven heâd look ten years younger. He wore a dark navy coat with the collar popped and leather gloved hands shoved in his jean pockets.
As the man turned his head, Steve saw piercing blue eyes that changed shade when they caught the light.
Steve thought about abandoning this blind date altogether when all he could think about was gently grabbing this stranger by his dimpled chin and kissing him. He was halfway out of his chair intent on offering to buy the manâs coffee when the door opened again.
Steve and the stranger both turned toward the door.
Sam walked right up and put his arm around the handsome stranger.
Fuck, he thought.
~~~~~~~~
Day 19 of @monthlywritingchallenges Firefly July: sunset
âSteve,â Bucky groaned, dragging him by the wrist. Steve used his free hand to swipe the blood from his nose.
They made it out of the alley and back onto the moonlit Brooklyn streets before Bucky released his arm and spoke again.
âYouâre gonna get yourself killed one of these days. What are you gonna do if I ainât here to save your ass?â
Steve shoved at Buckyâs shoulder. âI can take care of myself, Buck.â Seeing the emotions threatening behind Buckyâs gray-blue eyes, he backtracked. ââSides, youâre always here.â
âIâll always be here for you, Steve. You little punk.â
~~~~~~~~
Day of @monthlywritingchallenges Firefly July: moonlit path
@monthlywritingchallenges Fire Fly July Day 2: Golden Dusk
@superbateveryweek Superbat For All Seasons: Farmer's Market
Bruce watches the wheat fields, golden brown contrasting with the indigo sky. He closes his eyes and takes in the absence of police sirens or the smell of lingering trash and polluted smog, instead focusing on the smell of dust and cut hay, and the sound of cicadas overpowering peopleâs voices.
A warm breeze carries the smell of healthy soil, the sweet and buttery smell of baked goods contrasting with the spiced and savory dishes. The market isnât as busy as it would be in the middle of the day, but thereâs enough of people that Bruce has to focus not to make an irritated face as they yell and laugh across spaces.Â
He huffs a breath when thereâs a breeze against his side, followed by a smooth hand intertwining with his, sturdy and calming as the sun sets below the flat plains. Clark swings their hands as they navigate around the crowds, letting Bruce dig his nails into the back of his hand as Bruce breathes in Clarkâs smoky cologne.
âThanks for coming tonight,â Clark says as they approach a vendor for the Kent Farm, the breeze carrying the cinnamon from Marthaâs famous apple pie to them. âIt means a lot to Ma and Pa.â
Bruce grunts, and Clark gives his cheek a kiss. âCome on, Mister Grumpy. Maybe some lemonade will make you feel better.â
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
For @monthlywritingchallenges Firefly July, I'm doing Day 17: Summer Nostalgia
Going with a One Piece fic this month as I seemed to have reentered one of my hyperfixations from high school
Snippet below:
The morning started that same way it started most mornings on the Moby Dick, half the crew was sleeping off what they had drank the night before, the other half were trying to get a jump on whatever tasks were assigned to them before the daily chaos on the ship started threatened to interfere with the tasks.Â
It was precisely then that two of the lookouts in the top crowsnest spotted something on the horizon.
âOh shit, whatâs the Navy doing just sprouting up now?â the first watchman said, spotting the familiar outline of one of their ships on the horizon.Â
âYou got to be joking,â the other guy on watch said, sitting next to him. âWe just fought off three of their ships last week. Again so soon?âÂ
The first guy let out a tired sigh. âThatâs what Iâm saying, usually they wait another month before trying to take us again.âÂ
âMaybe theyâll decide to just move on when they see its us?â the second guy said.Â
âYou talking like that is why youâve been up here for the last month,â the first guy said as he brought his binoculars back up to his face and got another look at the Navy ship, now not exactly on the horizon anymore. âBut based on the way they are pointed, Iâd say that ship is coming directly at us.âÂ
âAh, fuck,â the second guy cursed as he turned around and leant over the side of the crowâs nest. He yelled down to the men on the deck below them, notifying all of them of the ship coming up.Â
Marco picked his head up at hearing that there was a Marine ship on the horizon, letting out a small curse as he spread his flames out into wings and flew up to the top of the main mast.Â
âWhat do we have?â he asked the two watchmen.Â
The first guy pointed at the Marine ship now quickly approaching them. Marco took the binoculars from him and held them up to his face, trying to see which Marines exactly were coming to them.Â
It only took a couple more minutes before the Haki signature came across loud and clear.Â
Monkey D. Garp. That man had a very distinct Haki signature. Marco didnât even need to catch a visual sighting of the Marine to know that it was him.Â
Damn.Â
What was Garp doing coming to them like this? It had been nearly a year since they had had any sort of run in with the vice admiral, yet it appeared that today he was seeking them out.Â
Why?Â
The Main Moby hadnât even been to any ports in months, not since they took Ace on board.Â
Marco had a sudden sinking feeling in his gut that this was something to do with Ace. From all of the little stories Ace has told so far though, he hadnât mentioned anything about the Vice Admiral though, had he?Â
Even though the Navy warship was still a ways away from the Moby, it didnât stop Garp from jumping over and landing on the top deck of the Moby Dick. Instantly, everyone on board was on guard, drawing weapons and getting into fighting positions. Marco jumped down from the crowâs nest, coming to stand in front of the Marine.Â
âIâm only here for one person,â Garp said as he looked up at Marco and gave the pirate a glare. There was a silent fire in the Vice Admiralâs eyes. Marco squared his shoulders and returned the glare. âWhere is my grandson?âÂ
Steve absentmindedly twirled Buckyâs hair around one of his fingers. He wished painting would do the beauty of Buckyâs face justice.
Bucky smiled back and shifted closer. He laid his head on Steveâs pillow, face inches from his. âDo you remember the nights we shared a bed because we could only afford one?â
Steve chuckled. He pressed his hand to Buckyâs chestâover his heartâjust like he used to when he couldnât sleep. âOf course. Imagine if we loved each other like this back then?â
âOh, Steve,â Bucky whispered. âIâve always loved you. Even when I didnât know it.â
~~~~~~~~
Day 17 of @monthlywritingchallenges Firefly July: summer nostalgia
Johnny's voice jittered mechanically as V's vision focused, a red haze surrounding the seven outcast nomads before them. It wasn't often they left the city, but Hellman, the scientist working on the chip, was flying through a dead zone nearby, and V needed to talk to him. And to do that, they needed Panam's help, which would apparently only come with this truck.
One raffen wandered off to the left, watching the road; three stayed among their cars, and the last three surrounded Panam's car on the far right. It was a job like any other, barely noteworthy for the dusty, dark setting, and they settled into the easy almost-autopilot of the hunt: flag all seven, ready quickhacks, plan the rout of attack . . .
"The show starts - now!" Panam's choppy voice broke through the haze, and V flipped the breaker.
The world lit up, and sped back to real time as V's eyes deactivated. As the town lit up, the raffen ran left, looking for cover, and V prepped a grenade, lobbing it at their heels. Grainy red filled their vision again as they short circuited the three strongest, the quickhack latching onto their systems in seconds. One began tracing the hack, while the others crouched behind various cars and blockades.
A second grenade dropped two of them, their red glow fading, and one last electric jolt followed before V darted across the gap, rolling behind the other side of a blockade. A second later, the furthest raffen popped up, sending a spray of gunfire across the street.
'Too little, too late, fuckers,' V thought, catching the nomad with a quickhack. Three down, four to go.
The raffen on the other side of the blockade stood, raising a heavy rifle, and V took the opportunity to slide a neurotoxin-coated knife between his ribs. He grunted, dropping the gun, and V rolled to the side to avoid it before sprinting forward.
"There!" One shouted, standing. Panam's cover fire downed him.
The last two had ducked into the road-side bar, and both rounded on V at their allies' shouts. Red bled around them again as V rebooted both their optics, shooting one in the chest and kicking the other's gun to the floor. Panam rounded the corner and finished the disarmed woman, and V spun, vision lighting up again to ensure they were alone.
In a younger year, the dry heat would've been broken by crickets or frogs, but the town around them was silent save the buzzing of the newly restored electricity and the drip of blood. Panam rifled through the pockets of the mohawked woman, retrieving her keys, and made for her car.
V began collecting the fallen guns.
"Should get a recording when you down Hellman's AV." Johnny materialized in a haze of glitches.
"Yeah?" Their pockets yielded little but ammo and some spare parts.
"You'd have all those suits shitting themselves silly."
"Maybe I will." Suddenly, V tilted their head up. The air had shifted, wind blowing in a new direction and bringing with it the smell of rain. They finished grabbing the parts and did a final sweep, jogging for the car.
The passenger side door was barely shut when it began to pour. Sheets of rain battered down on the truck as Panam pulled away from the gas station, rippling down the windshield and pattering on the roof. Behind the forest of windmills, the clouds flashed, once, twice, streaks of lightning splitting the rain.
The sky lit up, horizon to horizon, a wall of blinding white. For a second, the truck lit up, throwing Panam's profile and tight curls into sharp relief. Then the roar of the thunder struck, almost physically rolling through the car. The radio cut to static for a second, the windows rattling. Panam reached up and popped the roof.
They sped through the California desert, Johnny smoking scentlessly in the backseat, radio on low occasionally dropping back into static. Panam was going on about Nash and revenge, but V was more interested in the warm rain slanting through the popped roof and playing over their arms.
"Let's go run the goods first, huh? Deal with traitorboy after. We got the truck, finish biz while the night's young. 'Sides, this storm's lookin bad."
Panam cast them a look. "Are you even listening?"
Johnny chuckled in the back seat. "She got you there."
"Of course. Revenge, betrayal, revenge," V smiled winningly, "We've all been there. It's practically on the way."
Panam rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone. V checked out of the phone call, focus back on the rain-clouded sky beyond the windows.
She felt Johnny materialize behind her. "You know, you can roll the window down." The note of amusement in his voice did little to phase V.
"What, looking to get me wet?" Johnny huffed and disappeared. The low hum of the motor blended well with the drumming rain, and soon water cascaded into the car, pooling at their feet and dripping out the sides. Panam made an annoyed sound but made no move to stop V as they stuck their head out, watching the desert pass by.
Waterfalls, as it turned out, got very dirty very quickly. Really, it made Eve concerned for the state of her lungs. If whatever was in the air could turn a self-feeding waterfall that grimy that quickly, how grey and disgusting must their lungs be?
It was disappointing, really. She'd been excited to set up a stream of clean water, which, on top of looking pretty and sounding nice, could splatter into little pools for people to wash their faces and drink from and stuff. They could have grown little plants, and got some lilypads, and added some greenery and nature and stuff to the place . . .
"I am Groot."
And Groot could've stuck his branches into the water and grown pretty flowers . . .
Groot stuck his head into the water.
"How many times do I have to tell you; don't drink fountain water, you idiot! That's disgusting." Rocket, never far from his friend except when he was, appeared predictably beside her.
"Yeah, put your feet in it and grow some sea grass. God, Groot." She sighed, theatrically.
"What are you trying to do here, anyway?" Rocket was doing that thing where he tried to pretend not to care but he secretly cared a lot. What a tsundere.
"I wanted to make a waterfallllllll," she whined, "And little pools and plants and a brook and trees and dappled sunlightttttt."
"There isn't even sunlight here, there's no star." Rocket pointed out.
"I read it, in a book. The sunlight dapples when you have trees." She stomped her foot, and flowers sprouted up around it. "And look how dusty and terrible the ground is. One erosion and the entire place will fall apart! In a landslide! And we'll all die!"
"I am Groot."
"Exactly!" She gasped and stomped her foot, turning to Rocket. "YOU can help me! Make a river!"
Rocket groaned, pretending to be put upon (she hoped).
"Pleeeeeeee-"
"I am Groot-"
"-eeeeeeeee-"
"Okay, alright, I'll do it! But only 'cause you need more fresh water!" He pointed an accusing finger at Groot.
They both cheered.
------
Eve was lucky she was no longer doing the project, because it turned out adding a river to a skull floating through space was kind of difficult.
Which was bullshit.
Rocket seemed to actually be enjoying the project, Groot faithfully at his side, and had recruited the help of Cosmo the space Laika. Drax kept dropping by to "help" (argue with Rocket) followed by an excited Mantis and a watchful Nebula. Eve was convincing her to draw different Earth plants, and while doing so, unstealthily playing different Earth music. It was no surprise she'd hated Peter's music, of course, because he only had stupid old music, but she had a broad and updated repertoire that would surely bring her over to the dark side.
Unfortunately it was looking like she liked classical music.
Peter, of course, was off smooching his girlfriend like some sort of disgusting loser.
She was already planning what projects to masterfully manipulate her friends into doing next. She wanted to have seasons, and lights that made heat, and snow, and butterflies, and birds, and some cats. . .
One of the things she missed most from Earth was birds. You never really saw them, except you did, constantly, and it was only when you didn't that you realized they were gone. There were always crows everywhere, and raptors and hawks of various kinds, and little house sparrows everywhere, and they made so much noise, especially in the morning. Ships, when their engines were off, could be dead silent. The air didn't hiss through any vents. The wiring was good enough not to buzz. The lights never whined, there were no fridges to hum, air conditioning never activated. Clocks didn't tick. There were no birds, and no bugs, and usually no other animals. When the ship was crowded enough, you could hear everyone else breathing, but that was muffled into nothingness in just a few walls. Her main hobby had been wiring more and more speakers into her walls, to play her pilfered CDs or her mp4.
Knowhere, of course, didn't have that issue. Not only were there people up 24/7, but the walls were thin and shitty, and let lots of noise through. No matter where you went, you could constantly hear talking and laughing and yelling, and usually some music. And NOTHING ELSE. It was better than silence, but GOD was it annoying!
However, with the completion of this project, there would be water noises. And after that, there would be birds. Or frogs. Croaaaaak.
------
Knowhere had much cleaner drinking water. New pipes had been laid after the discovery of some lead ones had freaked Eve out, they had constructed a singular, very short water tower, there were new filtration systems, they were chemically treating it . . .
They also had gradually cleaner air. Large fans pulled air through filters; sections of colony space were sealed in huge domes, made of glass panes, which looked like bug's eyes; they had begun dampening the mining areas and the transport drones to keep dust from floating everywhere . . .
They were even composting. They were collecting food scraps and then putting them in a pile in the dirt. Like hippies!
And they had NO RIVER. Eve wasn't one to complain, really (she was). But all that was coming of her sole hope and dream was that one, deary waterfall. And it didn't even have a small pond below it! It fell into a tank and then was cycled back up on the same system she'd made. The water had cleared up a bit, she would give them that, but it had mostly just settled at the bottom of the tank. Where there was a layer of black grit. It probably wasn't even clean enough to go swimming.
------
Drax was making fun of her again. Apparently, all of the renovation projects were actually for the river. The clean water meant that the water in the stream wouldn't poison the plants (or people). The air filters meant that the waterfall wouldn't instantly get polluted by pulling smog out of the air. The composting (which was not done on colony planets, usually) was making "nutrient rich" and "healthy" soil (could soil even be healthy?) which apparently wouldn't turn to dust the second you looked at it wrong.
Mantis was talking excitedly about alien tomatoes.
They were all following Rocket, Groot, and Nebula, who were excitedly (in their own ways) leading them through some back alleys into a construction zone that had been fenced off for like forever. Peter and Gamora were, again, snogging in the back.
Then Groot raised the last flap, and Eve beheld a wonder! Beautiful beyond compare, azure blue surrounded by black cascades, stunning, magestic . . .
Loki of the Yiggdrisil was sitting on a rock on the other side of the flap. He was in his Joutun form, and his blue skin glowed in the fluorescent lighting. Their hair was braided up intricately, which must have taken him literal years, and it was covered in pearls or something white and glittery. He smiled down at them.
Rocket grumbled and led them around the rock.
On the other side, short, scraggly cliffs obscured the neighboring buildings. Significant amounts of moss and bushes covered the lower half, and in the back, a thin waterfall splashed water that was actually clean down into the pond below, which was also actually clean.
"Wow."
Rocket, who had turned to see their responses, threw his hands up in the air. "Wow?! C'mon! You know how long I spent on this? And a 'wow' is all I get?"
Peter laughed, pushing his way to the front of the group. "It's awesome, buddy. Really. Could do with a little mood lighting, but . . ."
"I am Groot!"
Rocket snarled. Loki, watching them amusedly, twirled her fingers. Green seidur swirled around his fingers, and the fluorescents backlighting her faded into darkness. It spread outwards, dimming headlights, bar signs, and probably other stuff. Then they dipped a finger in a nearby puddle, and wrote "MAIYIR" on the stone.
Around the lake, hanging from curved poles or the cliff face, little wrought iron lanterns appeared. They filled the clearing with a warm glow, light reflected off the rippling water and the spray glittered. It was very pretty.
Peter and Gamora were whispering together like losers.
Eve made eye contact with Rocket, and the raccoon grinned toothily. He leapt at Peter's face while Eve rushed at Gamora. Peter, very uncoordinatedly, immediately fell into the water. Groot snatched Rocket out of the air before the drops could land on his fur. Gamora, unfortunately, was somewhat competent, and Eve could not push her into the water. She smiled down at her, and then, while Eve fruitlessly pushed, pretended to slip and fall backwards.
Peter shouted in alarm and attempted to catch her. Unfortunately, his coordination had not magically improved, and he slipped on some algae or something, and only managed to get knocked back into the water below her. What a skill issue.
Rocket cackled from his perch on Groot, and Mantis laughed, hitting Drax's arm. "She fell into the water, and when he tried to catch her, he fell again!"
"Yes," Drax agreed, "He is very clumsy." He addressed Loki, "Is your brother here? I would like to see him again. He is a true man."
Loki made a disgusted face. "Not you too!"
Eve giggled and crouched down, huddling over a lantern. The shadows from the bars wavered and danced over the water, which ripped from where Gamora, Nebula, Groot, and Peter were splashing and throwing each other. The flames let off a soft heat, and she rested her cool fingers against the metal, soaking it in.
A swirl of magic behind her announced Loki's presence. They leaned over her, sheltering her in the shadow of his cloak. A gentle hand ran over her hair. "Happy Solstice, darling."
She smiled and leaned back into her, and together they watched the lantern slowly burn away.
\\ (1)
@monthlywritingchallenges
The runic spell Loki uses does not, in fact, say "MAIYIR," Eve just doesn't know what they are. It says "ááąáá-áŽáá±," which reads "LĂœsi-ker," which is an Old Norse word for lantern.
Steve didnât know when they had gone from stargazing to making out in the grass, but he certainly wasnât going to complain.
There was heat in every kiss and every touch. Steve felt Buckyâs teeth nip at his lower lip and he held back a low moan.
He suddenly needed to touch all of Buckyâs skin. As he slid his hands up Buckyâs shirt, caressing warm smooth muscle, he crawled down Buckyâs body.
He unbuttoned Buckyâs pants and pulled his cock out, licking his lips in anticipation. His own personal midnight picnic.
Bucky gasped as Steve swallowed down his cock.
~~~~~~~~
Day 15 of @monthlywritingchallenges Firefly July: midnight picnic
From the early days of misproportioned features to the experimental phase of contemporary style to the more refined work during his stint in art school.
The nose here is wrong and those look nothing like your cheekbones, Buck and I messed up your jaw here.
Bucky didnât see the mistakes. He kept his hidden collection of Steveâs sketches folded up in a coat pocket. He wasn't sure why he kept them; he wasn't that vain. But he had trouble throwing away something he'd watched Steve pour so much love and effort into.
~~~~~~~~
Day 14 of @monthlywritingchallenges Firefly July: pocket full of treasures
@monthlywritingchallenges firefly july day 15 - midnight picnic
---
It was past midnight. Ronald was barely able to sleep, and neither could James, so they just sat there, enjoying a tea picnic for no reason. Ronald sat down on the cold concrete right next to James and out of nowhere, asked, "Sir, if you don't mind me asking... do you think youâre going to Heaven or Hell?"
James let out a laugh, shaking his head. "Hell, definitely."
Ronald blinked, he hadn't expected James to answer with that. "Really? After everything you've done for the Republic?"
"Iâve signed papers that sent hundreds of men and women to their deaths, Ron." James said, his eyes staring up at the moon and the night sky. "No matter how good the reason was, a man like me doesn't get a pass to Heaven."
âYou know I wish there was a way that I could let her know. That we won.â
âWe did it.â
Clint felt the quirk of his lips that didnât match the feeling in his chest.
He turned and saw the minute shift in Wandaâs eyes, the sad smile that almost crept up on her face.
âShe knows.â
He inhaledâthe first deep breath heâd been able to take since Vormirâand let it out in a long sigh.
The light breeze along the lake was surprisingly warm for October in New York.
âThey both do.â
Clint heard the calm resignation in her voice.
Wanda had lost everything and everyone. But unlike Clint, she didnât get anyone back.
~~~~~~~~
Day 13 of @monthlywritingchallenges Firefly July: warm breeze Iâm a day late and this is definitely not the vibe that this challenge was intended for but here we are.
This is because @ghosthan suggested âwarm summer funeral breezeâ to fulfill my prompt for yesterday.