a deep dive into policing other’s littles
i’ve seen a lot of people arguing over system littles recently, specifically what other people/systems should allow those littles to do (especially on social media)
as someone who is very passionate about their littles, this is going to be a long one
lets take a deep dive into this, shall we?
CW/TW: brief mentions of child predators and exploitation of littles (section 2), sensitive talk about littles
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let's start off with talking about the nuances that are seen between system littles.
first off, not all littles are the same age internally. most people use the term little to refer to all alters in a system that are between 0-12 years of age. while all littles are children to some extent, we must remember that there is a large age range of littles.
next, we need to talk about the fact that littles don't work the same in every system. personally, our systems littles think, look, and act like children their internal age. however, this is not how things work in every system. many littles may look and think to some extent like children, but may be much more mature than would be expected based on their age. many littles have been around for a very long time, and may not act like children anymore. some littles identify as children, while others don't. this is very important to remember.
while it's important to retain a balance in every system of knowing you are the same person, while also separate individuals, we have to remember here that system littles aren't actually children. now i'm not saying it's not ok to treat them as children, that's far from what i'm saying. what i am saying, though, is that based on their unique nature we cannot immediately assume that a system little should be treated entirely like a child their age normally should.
some littles may be able to do things like driving, working, cooking, etc just like the "adult" alters in their system, while others are more like children and should be treated as such (along with everywhere in between).
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with all that cleared up, we can now get into the issue of policing other people and what they do concerning their littles.
when you're worried about the safety and wellbeing of others, especially children (or perceived children), it's easy to lose sight of the whole picture of what's going on.
this is what i believe happens when others attempt to police systems and their littles. others get so concerned about what seems like a child, that they fail to remember what we talked about in the first section.
however, there are many reasons to hold back on this behavior, unless there are people in immediate danger
first, like we mentioned in the first section: littles are not all children or child-like. it is very likely that online it is hard to tell the maturity and age of a little, which makes it very difficult to make an accurate assessment of a situation involving a system little.
not being a part of the system that this little belongs to, especially without knowing the maturity or age of the little, gives no authority to anyone to tell other systems what to do. almost all systems have a protector and/or caretaker of some sort, whether official or not, who almost certainly has gauged the situation and safety for the little in question.
it is not up to anyone to decide the safety of a situation for anyone else, or for any other system. systems are built as a survival mechanism, and the system will continue to survive without your input and policing.
unless there is a little/other alter in immediate danger, such as being exposed to a child predator or being blatantly exploited, no system needs your opinion on their littles
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3: littles on social media & conclusion
this is where we get even more controversial. let's talk about if littles should be allowed on social media
here's a post that i saw and wanted to dissect:
"that's fucking dangerous. don't do it. they could be hurt in so many ways"
i don't mean this in an insulting way, but this is a very weak argument.
simply saying that something is dangerous applies to so many things, i won't even list them because there is such a vast list. we take a plethora of risks every day, citing something as dangerous as a reason for not doing something (not talking about extremely dangerous/reckless things) is what leads to people not doing many (sometimes essential) things, such as driving.
there are children as young as 8 or even younger on social media nowadays. most people simply put kids that young on their DNI banner and go on with their day, though system littles seem to be much more of a concern.
going back to the points made in section 1, littles have different ages and maturity levels. for example: a little who is 11-12 who thinks and acts their age given social media doesn't seem abnormal to me. many modern kids get social media at that age, though i do think it should be supervised.
each separate little is unique and nuanced. it should not be up to anyone else but the people who know the little the best (their system) to decide whether it is safe and responsible to let their little online.
in addition, many people who attack systems for letting their littles online are the danger that they are attacking systems for. stop being counterproductive and let systems live their lives.
I promise if systems/alters/headmates want input they will ask for it!
