Nobody told me how scary it would be going from being the hated bullied person in the room to the appreciated beloved person in the room.
Not today Justin
Stranger Things

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Peter Solarz
DEAR READER
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@moon-light-night-dragon
Nobody told me how scary it would be going from being the hated bullied person in the room to the appreciated beloved person in the room.
You don't know how hard I try every single day to change my unhealhthy habits, how hard I work to earn my fully meet on my upcoming performance review.
Do you even know how hard it is for me to be social, to be open and going to other people instead of just sending them the save teams message?
Do you even have one ounce if an idea how difficult it is for me, to not over eat? To not spent my last pennie on food to endulge in the habit to eat my emotions away?
Do you even know how much writing has helped me? No you don't because you are too self absorbed into your own shit that you don't care. You care about yourself. I might not be chronicall ill as you have been for over 20 years now but I have lived my whole fucking childhood with your illness. I never had the same experiences as others, due to bullying, a crap father, no friends and now when I try to go out of my comfort zone, you keep on calling me selfish.
I do not want to have to work from home, I want to be in the office where I truly can be productive. Not at home where when I have to do something I have to push down the stress it causes me.
You both don't realize how hard it is for me. Having to wait until you finally move and go what you should have been doing earlier. You don't get how much anxiety and stress it causes me when our network at home glichtes, doesn't work and I have to start over again.
You don't live in my head. You don't have to live with the thoughts of food consuming your every thought, the uncertainty, acting like i got the fully meet in the pocket. I don't know. I hope I have but I might also get the same partically meet and have to leave the job I work at for 4 years, leaving behind nice colleagues and a team lead who actually seems to see that I am not stupid and exploits my strengths instead of my weaknesses.
Yet again you make me feel crazy.
Thank you for making me feel like I am crazy, I just try my hardest too loose weight, too choose healthier, to be wiser about what my struggles are.
I cannot think too much about food and what I should eat because I know I will spiral down to the time I couldn't think of anything else, every single cent I had, I spent on food. Thinking for hours when I could eat again, the more the better.
And I told you that today and you said I have to go to a shrink. Thanks.
You are the reason I barely share my true thoughts with people, that I play an act. Nobody knows who I truly am and what I think about.
Thank you for showing me today again why. Because in the end people don't truly care about how someone is, they only care in which degree it will inconvenience them.
I hate it so much lately.
I should listen, I should empathize, I should not be self absorbed.
Like? I am not?! I try to accommodate you! I deal with this heat for you!
I should not snap, You tell me I should act my age. When I do I'm the problem because I tell you, having the windows open during the day WILL MAKE THE HEAT IN THE HOUSE FUCKING WORSE!!!!
But hey! I don't know anything, I am too stupid to get it. Thanks.
Some days I wonder why do people keep telling me I have to listen, when nobody listens to me. When I tell you that you need to stop, you just go over it, you call me stupid, I am a moron, I have to use my brain, so many times you are just mean and guess what? She doesn't say anything. She never tells you, to shut the fuck up. But me, to me she says it. I have to shut up. Fine. I am not longer going to care, I spent most my free time online anyway, so I will continue on doing that, just screaming into the void.
It's my 6 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳
My stupid Heart chapter 3
Chapter one and two can be found here: chapters
Please keep in mind that this is my first ever english written fanfiction. English isn’t my native language.
Ella POV:
When I woke up again, I felt softness and realized soon that someone had put me onto a bed. Still it felt all not real at all but when Kol shouted “Elijah, your soulmate is finally awake” the reality started to sink in. I was really here in New Orleans, having lost memory of what the hell happened to me, that a witch that Klaus killed without even blinking twice wanted to get me back.
“You don’t need to shout Kol, I’m not deaf but soon she will when you keep shouting on this absurd loud volume” Elijah answered him and showed up right in front of me and letting his eyes take in every inch of my body, which made me uncomfortable but I tried to not let him notice that. “What is your name?” he asked me and his eyes shoot back to my face.
“Ella” I tried to say but my voice just stopped working and the only sound that came out was a whisper, “Great, she has lost her voice, how convenient” Kol commented and looked at me as if I just acted like I could not speak a word. “Kol, I don’t think she acts like her voice is gone” now Klaus joined the conversation and stepped closer. “The bruises on her neck tell a different story but what I would like to know is, why is your blood not working on her?” he asked his brother who had forced me to drink some of his blood before passing out.
“That could be because of the mark or you haven’t gotten enough into her mouth” Kol said and talking about me as if I wasn’t even there. “How would the mark affect his ability to let humans heal? Because one thing for sure, she’s human!” clarified Klaus for me that I luckily was indeed human. “The mark will slow down the healing” now Freya stepped into the room with an old looking book and showing it Elijah. “This mark only shows up when both parts are supernatural, she is not a witch but in some way your soulmate is supernatural” she added and everyone looked at me, who could not speak a word. Just awesome.
“How about we give her pen and paper? Then she can write her answers down” Kol suggested and rolled with his eyes in annoyance because nobody else seemed to have gotten that idea. And I should write down what I would normally say? With my bad handwriting? Joke on Kol then, because I was terrible with my handwriting, a doctor was no competition for me.
“How about we let Elijah alone with his wife? And he can tell us everything we need to know” Freya suggested and I could see how eager Kol and Klaus were to find out more but both left and Freya looked at me, almost as if she was feeling sorry for me. “The mark on your wrist marks you as Wife of my brother, nobody will dare to come near you again, but it is important that you are honest with us, tell Elijah everything you know, what you can remember, so we can eliminate the threat against my family” Freya insisted and left a bloc note with a pen for me to write. Was this really happening? Was I right now living my own fanfiction idea I have gotten by reading imagines? What was going on?
Elijah closed his bedroom door, “I want to clarify a few things, I won’t hurt you, I will not force you to anything that you don’t want but I will ask that you tell me the truth” he told me.
He was in for a hell of ride then.
°I will try my best to explain everything° I wrote on the blog note praying it was readable but apparently it was. So I started what could turn out to be a book.
°My full name is Manuela, I use the short from my name Ella because of personal reasons I would rather not go into detail with. The only thing I can remember before waking up here is waking up in a tomb, leaving the graveyard and then everything is black.
The next thing I will tell you is probably very hard to believe but I do tell the truth° I ended the first part of my explanation, feeling how Elijah positions himself against the end of his bed and read what I wrote. “So you would like to be called Ella?” he asked, which I could only nod since my throat started to hurt a little. I didn’t knew why the healing aspects of the blood didn’t work on me but the next part I would wrote down was the hardest part of all.
How could I tell someone that was sitting right before me, being very real and aesthetical very handsome, that I knew his history because of a TV-Show?
°I don’t know how I came here but I am from the Netherlands, I was walking home from work, going to the bus stop when everything first went black. When I woke up I could not believe where I was because it doesn’t make sense to me to be in New Orleans. I know that the witches of New Orleans want to take the Original Family down and I think they have something to do with me being here. They could use the knowledge I have to hurt your family. Because were I am from, there is a TV-Show called the Originals, that centered around the first Vampires in the history of supernatural beings. I liked to watch the show before they ended it.
I don’t know what the mark means, I only can say that I cannot remember anything before waking up here° I wrote and had to stop for a moment because my hand started to hurt, which was common for me, since I rather typed on my laptop then write it down by hand.
Elijah looked at my hand movements with concern, he didn’t even know me but he was worried. What kind of men would do that? No men I would know, well besides my father who is not existing in my life I didn’t knew many men.
°It must sound crazy but I have no way of proofing what I wrote is true. I can only sum up things I know from the show. When you first came back to New Orleans, you met a with a witch, Sophie Deveraux she got later on killed. Klaus daggered you as peace offering for Marcel only to gain Power back over the French Quarter. You have a niece, witches are after her because of her parents, she got named Hope because she is Hope for your brother° I stopped because my hand just got to painful.
Elijah POV:
I read what she wrote, what she wrote sounded so crazy and yet she knew things, nobody could have told her, only Niklaus, Davina, Marcel and I knew about Klaus attempt to lure himself back into the French Quarter, I could tell from her writing that she wasn’t used to write by hand anymore. Still she got a beautiful handwriting and the mark showed that she must be the soulmate everyone had, but by Supernatural beings it became visible after the first touch. I didn’t remember seeing her before but that was not surprising, when the witches captured her, most likely hide her with a cloaking spell. But why did they put her here? Why abducting someone from their own world to put her here?
“You can take a shower if you like, I will fetch some clothes for you to wear” I told her and she looked at me as if I just told her I would kill her right on the Spot.
“I will not harm you, I am a men of my word as you must know” I reinsured her that I would harm her and she replied with the blog note °I can know as much as I want, the reality is different°
That was true but still I had the strong feeling to wanting to protect her, even when the bruises around her neck started to fade, which meant the blood still worked and would heal her wounds.
She got up and now I could see that she was almost the same height as me, “I will be back soon, take as much time as you need” I offered her my bathroom and left my room. I could not comprehend it, she was marked as my soulmate and it made her automatically my wife.
Outside of my room my dear brother Niklaus waited and before I even could say anything, he asked “What has she told you?” and I decided to not tell him about what she told me. It was too much to actually understand at this point. “She’s not from here, she lives in the Netherlands and cannot remember anything besides waking up in a tomb and then here” I told him a few things but leaving out what she told me about what she knew about this family.
“And she takes a shower” Niklaus said and followed me to get some clothes for her, which my sister Freya already took care of. “Don’t try to harm her Nik” she warned him and with that there followed a little bit of history lesson. The mark was old, very old, even older than we were, the mark not only marked two people as pair but also created a bond. What that bond was, it was different for ever pair and the last pair that was ever written down was from over 500 years ago.
“Meaning she won’t ever be able to return to her family” was the conclusion, back then I didn’t knew what I would learn about the woman that was somehow brought here from a different world, different country and with a mark on her wrist.
NEED MORE
how the fuck did the fire nation beat fucking anyone their element can't do shit to any of the others
shoot fire at an airbender? they blow fire back in your face now you got burn face
a waterbender sends a wave at you and you defend with fire? congrats dipshit now you've turned that attack into steam in your eyes at best or boiling water on your skin at worst
you throw fire they throw rock you get hit with hot rock war over
Confusing mind
I just want to be alone and grief. Letting the pain out but I can’t
the most wholesome interaction
credit
Scam Alert - Commissioning Artists Beware
Artists, there’s a scam going around on Twitter at the minute, and you never know, someone might try it over here.
This guy is messaging commissioning artists and attempting to gain access to their PayPal by pretending to need a code to pay the bill. Obviously we all know that’s bull, but if someone isn’t paying attention, is unfamiliar with PayPal commissions as a whole, or is just desperate enough for that commission money? They might fall for it. OP’s tweet here.
PayPal will not require a code for someone to complete payment.
It’s just not how it works, I know it, you know it, the scammer knows it. But he’s gambling on the potential that someone (and that someone is mostly likely to be a young, new artist without much commission experience under their belt, let’s be honest) doesn’t know it. Let’s make sure everyone does. So if you’d be so kind, please boost the everliving hell out of this. Don’t let anyone fall prey to this shady, shady individual, either here or on twitter or anywhere else.
I remember first learning that you can cry from any emotion, that emotions are chemical levels in your brain and your body is constantly trying to maintain equilibrium. so if one emotion sky rockets, that chemical becomes flagged and signals the tear duct to open as an exit to release that emotion packaged neatly within a tear. Everything made sense after learning that. That sudden stability of your emotions after crying. How crying is often accompanied by the inability to feel any other emotion in that precise moment. And it is especially beautiful knowing that it is even possible to experience so much beauty or love or happiness that your body literally can’t hold on to all of it. So what I’ve learned is that crying signifies that you are feeling as much as humanely possible and that is living to the fullest extent. So keep feeling and cry often and as much as needed
SHIT WHAT
Also let yourself cry. It really is a biochemical release valve to dump out all the chemicals that make you feel stuff.
I honestly think one reason men in western culture have so many problems is that we don’t let them cry, and literally their brains get stuffed with all this crap that doesn’t have a release valve. Men, please cry. You’ll feel better. It’s ok. You are not lesser for taking care of your health.
This is why tears from different emotions look different under an electron microscope. They’re literally made up of different things.
Happy tears are structurally different than sad tears than angry tears than overwhelmed tears etc.
I looked it up, cuz that tidbit was dope to me and..
Never would have known