Good Clean Felony Fun

his fit's not ready yet so this'll have to do for now

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Venture Bros. (Cartoon) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: The Monarch | Malcom Fitzcarraldo/Rusty Venture Characters: The Monarch | Malcom Fitzcarraldo, Rusty Venture Additional Tags: Episode Related, Episode: s07e07 The Unicorn in Captivity (Venture Bros.), Sex Summary:

A re-imagining of what happened when Rusty was in the simulator during the Unicorn in Captivity. Or What happens when I head-cannon too hard that Rusty is a closeted bisexual and force him to face his hidden desires.

This ain’t part of my stupid long fanfic, just an idea that wouldn’t let me along and needed to be released into the wild

#also the Vagina Terriblis idea is genius #vbros

Listen, from a cis male standpoint I can understand that castration fear the tiger invokes in the book the episode is referencing, but for everyone else that read as so fucking gay.

#slut Rusty is justice #vbros

i guess click the read more to see rusty in a barbarella outfit

the original

medical professionals have yet to figure out what's wrong with me

i forgot how bad the saphrax protocol was

the guild's tenning ceremony is so stupid, these idiots will make up anything just to dress up in some costumes and do a theatre production

fuck obviously the monarch is never going to kill doc, it'd be a pyrrhic victory since the only reason he wanted to be a level 10 WAS TO KEEP ARCHING RUSTY...i just want to know what happened in that tent. They either stared at each other until doc realized, oh right, i'm not scared of this idiot and the monarch just said fuck it...but like UGH, this was a chance for these two to hash it out and we get nothing.

(oooooh, here's your arch you can do ANYTHING YOU WANT TO HIM...fine, in my mind, they fucked, happy doc hammer?)

i don't believe for one freaking moment this was a guild test he passed, they were 100% going to roll with whatever decision he made

the only thing i like about the episode was the scenes with Hank and all the love for Barbarella, which is the best space opera movie ever made

...and now i want to draw rusty as jane fonda's character

won't lie it felt real good when Rusty called both parties children, in The Inamorata Consequence.

Damn him and Malcolm really are in the same boat, aren't they? Both incapable to escape their organizations, despite those being the equivalent of abusing parents, death bent on turning grown adults into manchildren. Both him and Mal have at least dreamed what real life is, outside of this primitive arrangement, but neither of them truly feels they have the strength to leave; said organizations making sure they never will, humiliating Rusty when he finally shares a decent scientific breakthrough, like jerking the Monarch around in his tenning ceremony.

Also, marginally related:

oh my god, I could go nuts about Sheila because I love her, i honestly love her and the Monarch as a couple, and the whole season 6, her career trajectory is on the rise while the Monarch's downgraded to a level 4 villain is so good, if writers hadn't fucking dropped the ball on the resolution of that conflict.

on top of it being a show that the genre demands it hits the reset button at the start of every episode, the whole Dr. Girlfriend character IS a parody of women in the genre, an accessory to the main character who's brilliant and capable, but has no agency of her own. So making her a council member and going through that character arc was such a let down when the writers refuse to actually deal with the issue, to either make her independent or have her go back to being the Monarch's #2. Instead they try to have it both ways and it weakens her character.

So true. As Mantilla reads somewhat as a parody of Marvel women, while Sheila seems a take on the Bond Girl genre; faithful to her man, as opposed to Molotov's treachery. Interesting that none of these takes read as emancipation of any kind, both her and Mol always, inevitably ending up orbiting around some male dominated organization. Would've loved to see more of Mrs Fitzcarraldo... but that's a moot point.

I think it's been touched in the artbook that canon Rusty fails with women because all he knew was the Bond Girl, a slithering decoration to the Bond man. He recalls being approached by Nikki this way, and it simply does not occur to him that he should have some regards for her, being a teenager: all he thought about was The Game, where you either eat or be eaten. Perfect example of his applying comic book rules to the real world, of which he's experienced too little.

It's only in s7 that he's starting to understand women can be real people too (annoyed grunt), and that he'll never be able to touch one of them because he himself is not a real person in any meaningful sense of the way-- not as long as he clings to his Rusty Venture, Jonas' Venture martyr-sidekick persona.

Incoming headcanon:

oh my gosh, Rust always models himself after Jonas, not just because of a little bit of hero worship that a son has for his dad, but because his father was always this example of masculinity and success (or at least was good at keeping up the illusion of it). I love the moments where Rusty is not blind to his dad's faults, and as he gets older, he realizes more and more that his father was human and fallible and he wants to show him up, like making a better Treaty of Tolerance. But yeah, when it comes to women, he keeps falling back on his dad's patterns of seducing and using women, which never work.

i keep thinking of the line from the Terminus Mandate when he says "I'm a man. I need to be touched. I would like to be touched by an amazing-looking woman who wants only to please me. I don't want to be laughed at, denied, or even feel like the pathetic man I clearly am! "

Which is like such a human sentiment made sad because he's never developed the emotional intelligence or witnessed behavior modeled to successfully connect with other people, especially in a romantic capacity

#Vbros #might've put too many different thoughts together #hope it makes some sense

Especially because he has historically been used getting handled by stronger men... If Kano's origami scene in Past Tense says anything, at least those big hands were gentle... Rusty's yaoi hands complex.

I kinda think feeling small and helpless has become a turn on for him, but specifically related to men. His concept of women is a deadly mix of the unknown, the unobtainable, and the predatory. He's good when he has to put on a face and be the creep we all know and love, but as soon as intimacy comes up he finds some excuse to bail. It's like getting too close to a campfire to him.

His concept of men is connected to salvation and fraud-- another deadly cocktail. Curiously enough he isn't openly uncivil towards gays, but is inspired by ideas such as "isolating the gay gene".

I think The Monarch saves himself from this struggle by acting stupider than he is. As long as he dons that cowl, his delirium that everything wrong in his life can be blamed on one single cause (which is curiously the essence of too much bigotry we're currently experiencing irl) is socially accepted, even if in a minuscule niche of similar weirdos. Th real beauty of VB is that it shows that everyone knows this isn't real, that it's just a form of momentary madness against the inner tide of insanity they struggle against. All of them are children, because they cannot accept that reality will not bend their way, will not give in to their magical thinking; only their tantrums come with laser guns.

svmbiotic

maybe one day you'll be free

#oh no why he so cutes #thank you #pete white #vbros

i forgot how bad the saphrax protocol was

the guild's tenning ceremony is so stupid, these idiots will make up anything just to dress up in some costumes and do a theatre production

fuck obviously the monarch is never going to kill doc, it'd be a pyrrhic victory since the only reason he wanted to be a level 10 WAS TO KEEP ARCHING RUSTY...i just want to know what happened in that tent. They either stared at each other until doc realized, oh right, i'm not scared of this idiot and the monarch just said fuck it...but like UGH, this was a chance for these two to hash it out and we get nothing.

(oooooh, here's your arch you can do ANYTHING YOU WANT TO HIM...fine, in my mind, they fucked, happy doc hammer?)

i don't believe for one freaking moment this was a guild test he passed, they were 100% going to roll with whatever decision he made

the only thing i like about the episode was the scenes with Hank and all the love for Barbarella, which is the best space opera movie ever made

...and now i want to draw rusty as jane fonda's character

won't lie it felt real good when Rusty called both parties children, in The Inamorata Consequence.

Damn him and Malcolm really are in the same boat, aren't they? Both incapable to escape their organizations, despite those being the equivalent of abusing parents, death bent on turning grown adults into manchildren. Both him and Mal have at least dreamed what real life is, outside of this primitive arrangement, but neither of them truly feels they have the strength to leave; said organizations making sure they never will, humiliating Rusty when he finally shares a decent scientific breakthrough, like jerking the Monarch around in his tenning ceremony.

Also, marginally related:

oh my god, I could go nuts about Sheila because I love her, i honestly love her and the Monarch as a couple, and the whole season 6, her career trajectory is on the rise while the Monarch's downgraded to a level 4 villain is so good, if writers hadn't fucking dropped the ball on the resolution of that conflict.

on top of it being a show that the genre demands it hits the reset button at the start of every episode, the whole Dr. Girlfriend character IS a parody of women in the genre, an accessory to the main character who's brilliant and capable, but has no agency of her own. So making her a council member and going through that character arc was such a let down when the writers refuse to actually deal with the issue, to either make her independent or have her go back to being the Monarch's #2. Instead they try to have it both ways and it weakens her character.

#vbros #I mean with the passion of a son's love #cause I don't believe Jonas would engage in incest after all

So true. As Mantilla reads somewhat as a parody of Marvel women, while Sheila seems a take on the Bond Girl genre; faithful to her man, as opposed to Molotov's treachery. Interesting that none of these takes read as emancipation of any kind, both her and Mol always, inevitably ending up orbiting around some male dominated organization. Would've loved to see more of Mrs Fitzcarraldo... but that's a moot point.

I think it's been touched in the artbook that canon Rusty fails with women because all he knew was the Bond Girl, a slithering decoration to the Bond man. He recalls being approached by Nikki this way, and it simply does not occur to him that he should have some regards for her, being a teenager: all he thought about was The Game, where you either eat or be eaten. Perfect example of his applying comic book rules to the real world, of which he's experienced too little.

It's only in s7 that he's starting to understand women can be real people too (annoyed grunt), and that he'll never be able to touch one of them because he himself is not a real person in any meaningful sense of the way-- not as long as he clings to his Rusty Venture, Jonas' Venture martyr-sidekick persona.

Incoming headcanon:

thanosthedadtitan

"Venture" - art by Quirkilicious (Drake Tusi)

#they drew Pete so evil #vbros

ozempicofficial

milfcciarati

something he would say

i forgot how bad the saphrax protocol was

the guild's tenning ceremony is so stupid, these idiots will make up anything just to dress up in some costumes and do a theatre production

fuck obviously the monarch is never going to kill doc, it'd be a pyrrhic victory since the only reason he wanted to be a level 10 WAS TO KEEP ARCHING RUSTY...i just want to know what happened in that tent. They either stared at each other until doc realized, oh right, i'm not scared of this idiot and the monarch just said fuck it...but like UGH, this was a chance for these two to hash it out and we get nothing.

(oooooh, here's your arch you can do ANYTHING YOU WANT TO HIM...fine, in my mind, they fucked, happy doc hammer?)

i don't believe for one freaking moment this was a guild test he passed, they were 100% going to roll with whatever decision he made

the only thing i like about the episode was the scenes with Hank and all the love for Barbarella, which is the best space opera movie ever made

...and now i want to draw rusty as jane fonda's character

won't lie it felt real good when Rusty called both parties children, in The Inamorata Consequence.

Damn him and Malcolm really are in the same boat, aren't they? Both incapable to escape their organizations, despite those being the equivalent of abusing parents, death bent on turning grown adults into manchildren. Both him and Mal have at least dreamed what real life is, outside of this primitive arrangement, but neither of them truly feels they have the strength to leave; said organizations making sure they never will, humiliating Rusty when he finally shares a decent scientific breakthrough, like jerking the Monarch around in his tenning ceremony.

Also, marginally related:

#vbros #my bad takes

ttaranza

wah wah!

yk what i don’t appreciate people talking to me/reblogging/following my stuff and then turboreversing when some good soul tells them to dni w me LOL

this fandom is so cliquey it’s crazy everyone forgot my og reason for speaking up back then was being called a pedoph!le for saying i prefer college pete?

i really want to see you guys being serene as lambs and not defending yourself when you’re new in a fandom, unaware of any past drama bcause youre not talking w anyone except for like 3 ppl (who clearly have an interest in you not knowing so they wont clue u in), and then being sent screens of being accused of sth like that by someone who's active in the fandom for years? By someone you trust?

BTW the moment i realized theres some foul play going on i removed my posts + I RESOLVED THE STUFF W THE PERSON IN QUESTION and we're chill now so why are you guys lumping me down with people that betrayed us both while having a laugh at our expenses squeezing as much drama out of us as they could? We're both victims here.

PS. fuck jonas venture, he's a horrible person and i'm glad he's dead

the best part being them still really liking the art, only to be devoured by Religious Guilt at that, passing the Forbidden Drawings to and fro like some dark pokèmon cards.

And then they have the gall to say objectifying a character is morally reprehensible, while it's perfectly fine to dehumanize the artist.

Kids nowadays XD

you kiss your friends on the lips? we don't do that in ünderland

#kya #vbros #underpink

im so h0rny i cant do this

HELLO????

#yayyyy #underpink #vbros

By now every time I see new VB fans on here I pray they enjoy this place to the fullest before the inevitable letdown

william-s-churros

i can hardly blame a rando for not enjoying jazz because it genuinely is acquired taste you onlt get when youre smart and worldly

william-s-churros

once you get infected by jazz you can never not enjoy it tho because its simply good

psychoticallytrans

I think one of the most profound forms of love is "I'll try that, for you. I may not like it, but I'll try it."

It's a confused middle-aged man in a pottery class, whose daughter is helping him with his clay's plasticity. It's a kid scrunching up their brow while listening to their mom's favorite music, trying to figure out why she likes it. It's a girlfriend who says "Yes, I'll go with you" and her girlfriend cheering and buying a second ticket for a con. It's a friend half dragging another friend through an aquarium, the one being dragged laughing and calling out "Wait, wait, I know we're here for the exhibit, but I haven't been here! Slow down!"

It's being willing to spend some of your time trying something new because it makes someone you love happy.