Megan Skiendiel x fem!reader - Proud of you
Based on this request: "Megan is upset after messing up a performance and gets mad at the reader for something small after cause she look crashing put and then the reader comforts her" - Anon.
Summary: Megan messes up at Lollapalooza and spirals with her girlfriend backstage. (T.W. Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Self Deprecation)
Notes: I am so sorry this took so long but University is really taking a toll on me (I hate Italian Universities sm). This was the first time writing for Katseye, and it was for my bias so I'm so happy!! Also this is based on Megan telling about her breakdown after Lollapalooza during the live with Manon.
I hope you enjoy, and I promise all the other Katseye requests will be written soon!!
When your girlfriend, Megan, and the rest of Katseye were invited to perform at Lollapalooza you couldn’t have been happier. It wasn’t her first performance, but for some reason this felt different… bigger. Megan has always been a perfectionist, hyperfixating on each of her choreographies and songs, and if this made her an amazing performer, at the same time it put her through so much anxiety and stress.
You had your spot in the backstage of the concert, like you always did, and you were giving her your entire attention. She was about to step out on the stage, but she rushed one last time towards you, wrapping her arms around your shoulders.
“Oh my God, I’m so nervous… I think my heart will beat out of my chest”
“Megan…” - You cooed – “You’re amazing… you’ll do amazing. I’ll be right here, watching you”
She looked at you with puppy dog eyes which made your heart ache. You kissed her forehead.
“Then I’ll still be proud of you. Just have fun, baby”
And you now kissed her lips.
Megan and the girls stepped out into the stage, the crowd cheering for them. You were nervous, almost as if you were the one who had to perform. They began with a little speech, then started performing some of their songs. Once they got to “Gabriella”, however, something happened.
Megan made a small mistake, so small you didn’t even notice at first. She missed a beat in the choreography. No one noticed, not even backstage. No one but Megan.
Megan noticed her mistake as soon as it happened, of course she did. And that sent her spiraling immediately, her heart sinking in her chest in a panic. She had messed up. Why was she so stupid?
Luckily it was their last song, and as soon as it ended they were able to exhit the stage. Megan felt her breath catch in her throat, her heart racing more as she kept thinking about her mistake, over and over again.
You, on the other hand, were still unaware of how she was feeling, and when you saw her and the girls come back, you immediately ran to Megan with a big smile on your face.
Your squealed excitedly, but your face dropped when you saw the sadness on her face.
She answered harshly, a little too harshly.
“You’re really asking what happened? I messed up! I messed up so much!”
Your heart ached for her, and you tried to calm her down, reaching to rest a hand on her shoulder.
“Baby, I didn’t even notice… I promise”
You whispered. She swatted your hand away.
“Of course you didn’t! What would you know?”
She snapped, her voice raising because of her nerves.
“You don’t know anything about this job! So stop trying to comfort me, it’s useless!”
Here yes welled up with tears, and that’s when you knew she was spiraling.
You whispered, taking a step back out of instict after she snapped. And that made Megan’s heart drop.
“No I-I… I didn’t mean to-“
She stuttered, her hands shaking.
Her snapping at you hurt, but seeing her right now you couldn’t be angry at her. She was overwhelmed and sad and she felt so awful. You took a step towards her.
“I-I.. you’re not- not useless… I-“
Her breathing got more ragged, and she rested a hand on her chest.
“I’m so stupid! I’m stupid! Stupid!”
She hyperventilated, hitting her head with her hand and that’s when you stepped in. You quickly took her hands in yours to stop her from hitting herself.
You cooed, cradling her hands in yours. Your gentleness was what broke her. A sob escaped her lips, and her tears finally fell. She basically collapsed against your chest, small sobs shaking her smaller frame in your arms.
“I’ve got you… hey, breathe…”
You cooed again, holding her tighter as your hands gently ran through her hair.
You just let her cry for a while, but you still didn’t like the way she was breathing… she was still hyperventilating. After a few beats passed you gently laid a hand on her chest.
“Hey… can you tell me five things you can see?”
You began the exercise gently, and as she looked at you with teary eyes, Megan followed.
“I uhm… see you, and-and the stage… some chairs… my microphone and the- the curtains”
“Good, now four things you can hear?”
“Your voice… the crowd cheering… Manon and Lara talking and… and the music”
“That’s perfect, you’re doing so well… could you tell me three things you can touch?”
She covered your hand with hers
“Your hand on my chest… Your other hand in my hair and uhm… the texture of my outfit… I don’t like it”
She shook her head, but she was a lot more lucid and calm. Her tears were slowing and her breathing was almost back to normal.
“I know angel, I’ll take you to the bathroom and give you my hoodie”
You gently wiped her tears.
“May I ask you two things you can smell?”
You still wanted to finish the exercise to make sure she was grounded.
“Your perfume and… smoke, the smoke they used on stage”
You nodded, smiling gently.
“Good, you’re almost there… now, one thing you can taste?”
She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your lips. A short, innocent kiss, then whispered.
You laughed gently, your hands resting on her hips.
“Thank you… for helping me”
She whispered, cupping your face with her hands.
You answered, then continued.
“Hey… let’s go to the bathroom”
You led her to the bathroom, and kept taking care of her. You helped out of that tight, uncomfortable outfit and gave her your hoodie in which she snuggled like a little kitten. You took off her make up that was making her feel sticky and gross after crying, and then you simply pulled her in for a hug.
“I’m sorry… for snapping at you and for the scene I made”
She whispered in a shaky voice against your neck, she sounded like she could cry again.
“It’s okay… Don’t apologize, I understand what happened. But hey, listen to me, please…”
She looked up at you from your shoulder.
“Megan, you did amazing. I couldn’t take my eyes off you for the entire performance, you were so magnetic and captivating. I watched you all the time, and yet I didn’t notice your little mistake. Missing a beat on a choreography doesn’t take away from the amazing artist you are”
Megan felt her eyes well up with tears again.
“I-I just… it feels like I ruined everything… Like I messed up all our hard work”
You shook your head, gently caressing her back.
“You didn’t ruin anything. Baby, you’re human. Everyone, even the most amazing person you could think of makes mistakes. But those mistake don’t ruin things, they didn’t ruin how much the crowd today loved you”
You then gently tilted up her chin, before adding.
“And they didn’t change how proud I am of you”
“Did I still make you proud? Even if I wasn’t perfect?”
She asked in a shaky voice.
“You always make me proud, Megan… by just being yourself”
You gently kissed the tip of her nose and she finally gave you one of her beautiful smiles.
She whispered, before burying herself in your chest again.
“I love you too... You did amazing today”
You pressed a kiss to her head and said that one last time, except that now, in the bathroom of the backstage at Lollapalooza, Megan finally believed you: she did amazing today.
