Top 10 haikyuu characters I think would be Mad for Megan Thee Stallion
(⚠️Post-timeskip spoilers and headcanons galore)
He DEFINITELY follows Megan, but only got the memo like a week later (he works at a hair salon post-timeskip, so he probably heard from a client).
Would say 'ON MEGAN THE STALLION?' and call Megan's ex the fumbler of the century.
Client: YES, ON THEE MEGAN.
Terushima: WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT MAN? I would NEVER.
Mika definitely told him. He didn't know who Megan was at first but after she told him about her and all that happened to her, he is appalled that someone would be like that to a woman they supposedly love.
Daishou: And she was cooking meals for his family as well?!
Mika: Yes! Some men really have the audacity!
Daishou: I would never do that to you...
Megan Thee Stallion fan in secret. Once he finds out, he feels so bad for Megan, but he wouldn't really have anyone to talk about it, so he ends up venting on Kita when he called to check on him (Kita has no idea who Megan is).
Ojiro: I really hope she is ok and takes time to process this betrayal.
Kita: Yes, I really hope so as well. I am going through a tunnel now, it may cut. Anyway, tell your friend I really hope she's ok, and that I wish her the best.
You can't tell me he wouldn't love Megan. Finds out during working hours, while looking at the engagement on some post for sports promotion. Almost shouted out loud in the middle of the office. Texts Kenma in his break.
You: THAT UGLY ASS DUDE CHEATED ON MEGAN.
You: CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? I CAN'T, THE AUDACITY.
You: MEGAN THEE STALLION, KOZUME, KEEP UP, GODDAMMIT!!!
Certified Hottie, has 'Savage' as a ringtone and his workout playlists always has Megan songs. When he finds out he gets hella mad at the ex and then goes sad mode about Megan. Needs emotional support after and gets even sadder thinking that Megan is the one who really needs the support.
Bokuto: *sniffling* I am so parasocial about her, Kashi.
Akaashi, who somehow is still the one to deal with Bokuto's mood years down the line: I know Bokuto-san. Don't worry, I am sure she'll get better after some time.
Bokuto: *starting to tear up again* I really hope so...
Listens to a bit of everything, and loves Megan's songs because they boost his confidence. He finds out late, he is traveling with Asahi and wherever they were, they didn't have signal. After getting some and goes to check his messages and socials, he reads the message from Ryuu.
Asahi, a bit startled: Noya? What's wrong?
Noya: ASAHI-SAN!!! THEY CHEATED ON MEGAN THEE STALLION.
Asahi: uhhh... I don't know who that is, but thats horrible.
Noya: IT IS! OH MY GOD I HAVE TO CALL RYUU!
Finds out right after a weird conversation with her sister. He checks Meg's IG story, IMMEDIATELY sends a message to Noya and then spends the next 3 days talking about it to Shimizu.
Ryuu: After being there for him, he does this to her? UNBELIEVABLE.
Shimizu, who feels the same, but is getting a bit tired about the topic: I know.
Ryuu: And all this time he- *Mamushi's chorus starts playing*... OMG IT'S NOYA. I am so sorry dear, I HAVE to pick this up!
*Ryuu kisses her on the cheek and goes to the next room*
Shimizu: *sighs, but smiles as her husband goes away*
*A muffled 'ON MEGAN THE STALLION???' can be heard from the other room*
Now, a few honorable mentions before the top 3:
I just know my girl Saeko would be in shambles after reading Megan's ig story (because of course she follows her). She gets mad at men in general after and ends up making Ryuu do all the chores, even of they no longer live in the same house.
Tanaka Ryuunosuke: Saeko? What's u-
Tanaka Saeko: YOU ARE WASHING THE DISHES RIGHT THIS INSTANT AND YOU WILL DO THE LAUNDRY AFTER! I'LL CALL YOUR WIFE TO CHECK IF YOU'VE DONE IT, YOU LITTLE BRAT.
This man is a Stan. Hottie at heart. When he finds out he's PISSED. He immediately makes a three-way call with Osamu and Suna and begins ranting about the ex and how he is the worst. The call goes on for 4 hours. Let's say practice for the MSBY team the next day was... Something.
Coach Foster: ATSUMU, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, WHY ARE YOU SO AGGRESSIVE TODAY??? AND BOKUTO, FOR THE LOVE OF... STOP SULKING, YOU ARE A PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE, DAMMIT.
*The rest of the team watches from the sidelines as the coach tries to keep the team together. They end up fine, but more than one player almost gets hit the face with a volleyball, courtesy of Tsumu, who accidentally makes them too low or too fast*
Finds out the first out of everyone. Was stalking Megan's IG when he saw the story and his mood for the day immediately dropped. This mas was absolutely FURIOUS for Megan. The first thing he does? He makes a tweet giving his support to Megan, and then makes another one tearing the ex a new asshole. The tweet goes viral. Iwaizumi calls him to check on him, because he hasn't connected to the Seijoh4 monthly meet.
Matsukawa: Ummm, Iwaizumi?
Iwaizumi, frustrated because his call to Oikawa hasn't gone through: mmm?
Matsukawa: You might want to check Oikawa's tweeter.
Hanamaki: What? What's... Oh.
Iwaizumi, about to go check: On my god, what did he do now?
Oikawa, connecting to the meet at that moment: MEGAN THE STALLION GOT CHEATED ON.