mark hamill cannot be allowed to dire
we gotta keep that man alive even if it costs billions of $.

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@moonman95
mark hamill cannot be allowed to dire
we gotta keep that man alive even if it costs billions of $.
AuDHD can be so funny sometimes because my productivity is all “yes,” “no,” “no,” “yes,” “no” “NOWNOWNOWNOWNOW”
Let’s make tea
Tea
Water
Sugar
Honey
Milk/Cream
Lavender
Edible Glitter
Do it for him
Thank you for these tags @asimovsideburns
I nearly died laughing while reading them and then again while reading them out loud to the spouse.
Please, someone choose water!
I’d like to point out that last year it wasn’t a liquid and I still ate it so if no one else adds water I’d still eat the final product
Oh yeah just so everyone knows the lavender is a concentrated syrup, it’s very sweet but yeah it’s in syrup form cause that’s what I have on hand
Guys. Please. We're at less than 30% liquid. This is a tea flavoured snack bar. Please.
Don’t listen to them, if water is anywhere near winning this is gonna be way too easy, I want a gelatinous glitter blob to chew on
@chronicangel
frostyfest over post squid sisters
frostyfest over post squid sisters
agent's log, day 1
I know, I know - blast from the past!
Agent 3 had just gotten back from the Deepsea Metro. By then, she'd had enough reputation with Captain Cuttlefish that he started giving her more leadership roles. Her first: training *me.* The rookie. The new squid on the block.
She was merciless. The Octarians were literally doing nothing of significance, but that didn't stop her from sending me to their base anyway. My mission was literally to steal some of Octavio's food and bring it back to base.
The mission was hard nonetheless, me going up against a small Octarian base with no prior training. I was splatted multiple times, even.
Somehow, I made it out with Octavio's meal...only for 3 to then toss it into the trash.
5th Day of Squidmas!
Five golden rings Four calling squids
cutest artist eva
Cloning the Captain
Day 1 of working with Inkadia's new research facility, and this is my first project: creating a clone of the Captain.
The President was quite fascinated by the Captain's abilities and asked that we recreate them in the form of a clone.
Never mind that everyone else in my chain of command agreed that it was a) impossible and b) unethical.
Hope this doesn't go south...
The day I almost splatted Octavio...
It was a cold, wintry morning. I'd just snuck into an Octarian Advanced Weapons Research facility. A facility so secret, most of the Octarian Army would've thought it was a weather station.
The NSS had just learned this facility was developing a new kind of weapon few could even conceive of: a bomb that could evade the NSS's detection capabilities and destroy half a city.
I'd found the computer where the plans were kept and was prepared to sneak out with it, when in walked the Octarian chief science officer, talking to who I presumed to be the officer in charge of the project.
From their conversation, I gleaned that the weapon was in its final stages and that Octavio himself was coming to personally oversee those stages. I relayed this information to the Captain, who then issued a new order she'd never issued before nor since: snipe Octavio.
With my E-Liter equipped, I searched the base for an ideal hideout - one that would give me a direct line of sight to the boss himself. I found it, hid, and waited...waited...waited...
Then Octavio came. I readied my weapon, waited for him to stop - even for a brief moment. I had my chance. My trigger finger was one millimeter away from activating the weapon and ending Octavio's life.
Then...SPLAT. I was dead. I respawned, only to find out an eager Octoling man with ninja-like moves was on my tail; he had snuck up behind me while I was in hiding and was the one who splatted me.
He'd also pulled the base alarm. Immediately, I was facing down some of the most elite Octolings in their army, Octavio himself behind them, looking me in the eye, laughing and saying: "So...you thought you could kill me?"
After weighing my options, I pressed on, facing the most intense battle of my life. Somehow, every time I'd gained an advantage, this Octoling guy from before made me lose it.
That is, until Agents 1 and 2 arrived. Together, we were able to out-think the lad, escape the army, and destroy Octavio's weapon and its plans.
5th Day of Squidmas!
Five golden rings Four calling squids
Hey - control your children, thanks.
NSS Holiday Party
Well, we had our annual Holiday Party last night and it went off without a hitch.
The Captain was playfully disappointed by the Splatnog's lack of...erm...fun (thank you, New Agent 3, for the recipe) but ultimately agreed we were all better off this way.
Clearing the air on Agent 4
To summarize, Agent 4 is fine; she was never in any danger.
She lives in an undisclosed location and since we brought myself and New Agent 4 on board, with Agent 8 appearing for the occasional mission, we simply have not had any need for her and this is why she's never appeared publicly.
Regarding the "incident:" The night before, Inkadia Police responded to an alarm call from Agent 4's residence, and found a few items missing, one of which was a tentacle comb. Police discovered 4's back room window was broken, consistent with the alarm company's report that a glassbreak sensor had been triggered. Once the police discovered Agent 4 was NSS, they turned the investigation over to us. Due to the lack of identifying markers, the case almost went cold.
Until we heard from Agent 8, who had by then learned Agent 4's data had been transferred to the Memverse from some computerized entity named "Order." With this information, as well as surveillance footage from the premises, we deduced that Order used a robot to break into 4's home and steal her comb to scan her genetic blueprint and clone her.
While the NSS has unfortunately been unable to recover the comb, all evidence we have on this case continues to support this belief.
honestly it’d be cool to become an actual Inkling
Unofficial Recruitment
With the Squidbeak Splatoon largely gutted, I have begun an unofficial recruitment process.
Eight and I are forming an all-volunteer offshoot to assist with any lingering...Octarians.
As such, our primary target demographic for recruitment is Octolings who are not currently with the Splatoon.
It's unpaid labor, but could be a great opportunity to strike back at what's left of the Octarian Army.
Interrogation Transcript
Interrogation log, subject "DJ Spectavio." Agent 7 interrogating.
Agent 7: "Where were you two days ago at 16:00?"
Subject: "I was at Crusty Sean's, enjoying an early dinner."
Agent 7: "Cod-shit! We found fingerprints on the doorknob. Fingerprints that just so happened to match yours. And we have visual ID. But I'll humor you for a moment. Do you have any proof?"
Subject: "Yes! I used my debit card to pay for everything! Here, check it for yourself. My bank is (redacted), username and password are (redacted.)
Agent 7: "Thank you for your cooperation. Guard, we're done here. Take him back to detention." END LOG ENTRY
Agent's Log, Day 302
After DJ Octavio's daughter suggested the "Octavio" I was dealing with wasn't her father, Eight and I did some further investigating.
We discovered that Octavio's own access card was used to access this room - multiple times, and that this lined up with our prevailing theory. However - not being ready to rule out an impostor quite yet - I lifted evey tentacle print I could find from the doorknobs and sent them to the Captain for analysis.
Five hours later, the Captain sent me a message. Apparently, the tentacle prints did not match those of DJ Octavio, but of an identical twin brother that Octavio and the New Squidbeak Splatoon had kept a secret, an octopus by the name of "DJ Spectavio." We now believe this Spectavio stole Octavio's access card and is committing the aforementioned conspiracy under Octavio's identity, perhaps hoping the Splatoon would blame Octavio once we discovered this conspiracy.
Because of our findings, the Captain has informed me that she has designated this investigation the Splatoon's most important and is suspending all other missions for the time being, as this is quickly becoming an all-hands-on-deck mission.
Agent 7, signing off.