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velvet-vhs

from 𝑰 𝑺𝒑𝒚 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒔𝒚 (1994)

elodieunderglass

I spy a paintbrush, a lurking white cat

A truck full of fish and a fireman’s hat.

Liberty’s flame, a zebra-striped jeep,

Wings on a horse and BEEP BEEP BEEP.

doveofbabylon

mostcertainlynotcis

have you ever gone viral on tumblr?

yes

nuance (post in tags)

Remaining time: 5 days 15 hours

#a little #within sherlock fandom #going from single digits #to hundreds #on a single post 😂

rozieramati

eshpur

✣ Medieval Jimothy ✣

teaboot

As someone who learnt english as a second language via textbook, I have to say "flying by the seat of my pants" is a hilarious idiom xD

It's the first time I've seen/heard it.

Could you share another one you like using?

Idk about idioms specifically, but there's a bunch of phrases I learned from my mom!

Lord love a duck! (Incredulous, like 'oh my god')

Lord suffer in sheep dip! (Sheep dip meaning sheep poop. Incredulous, but for annoying things- like 'are you kidding me?')

Is there a piano tied to your ass? ('Don't be lazy, do it yourself')

Someone's cruising for a bruising. (You're picking a fight.)

I don't give a rat's rip. ('I don't care'- a rat's 'rip' is it's butt crack.)

Pull up a stump! (Get yourself a chair, sit down.)

Everybody out of the pool! (Get out of the car)

I'm flying by the seat of my pants. (I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm doing it.)

Don't go blowing smoke up my ass. (Don't over-compliment me, don't flatter me, don't stroke my ego, don't tell me positive lies)

Looks like it's gonna rain on our parade. (A storm is coming.)

Sorry to rain on your parade. (I've given you bad news- can be used sincerely or sarcastically to denote sympathy for incurring a bad mood.)

Better button that lip. (Stop talking.)

Someone's gonna stick a boot up your ass. ('Stick a boot up your ass'- fight you, beat you, kick your ass.)

Stick that lip out any further, and a pigeon'll shit on it. (Stop whining.)

Suck it up, buttercup. (Stop whining.)

Dumber than a fence post. (Very stupid.)

The back forty. (The wild or forested area behind a rural home. The 'forty' being forty acres, or farmland.)

Don't go begging for a fat lip. (Whatever you're saying or doing is going to bother people and get you in trouble.)

What on God's green earth (What the fuck)

I'm sweating like a pig in a porta-potty (like a pig in a plastic outhouse- I'm very warm, it's hot here)

He thinks the universe flew out of his ass. (He thinks he's more impressive than he is.)

Your mouth wrote a cheque your ass couldn't cash. (You promised more than you were capable of providing.)

You've got a horseshoe up your ass. (You're very, very lucky.)

Taking a dirt nap. (Dead.)

Pushing (up) daisies. (Dead.)

Give me forty acres to turn this rig around. (I need time and space to move this large, heavy, or unwieldy thing. Usually about navigating a vehicle. Taken from a song lyric.)

Jesus take the wheel. (God help me, I can't handle this, I give up.)

Gone belly-up. (Has died.)

We've got a floater. (This one is dead.)

Herding cats. (Trying to organize chaos, managing an impossibly complicated situation.)

I've got a black thumb. (I am bad at growing plants, all my plants die- reference to having a 'green thumb', or being good at growing plants.)

Stop trackin' floor cookies. (Floor cookies are bits of animal shit that fall off your work boots- 'tracking floor cookies' means wearing your boots in the house; take your shoes off at the door.)

Running around like a headless chicken. (Frantic, disorganized, stressed out by many tasks or panicked by a big situation.)

Spinning my wheels. (Waiting around for something to happen, getting nowhere, frustrated by inactivity, not making any progress towards a goal.)

He's gonna blow a gasket. (He's going to lose his temper, he's going to be angry.)

They'll tan your hide. (They'll punish you severely; usually through violence. Specifically in reference to a spanking.)

He's a few bricks short a load. (He's not clever / he doesn't think things through / he's crazy)

Not the sharpest tool in the shed. (Not the smartest person. Very dumb, clumsy, or absent-minded.)

I'm not going to bail you out. (Not going to save your sinking boat- not going to help you out of your bad situation.)

Looks like things are going south. (The situation is growing worse.)

I'll start making tracks. (I'll leave now, I'll start working, I'll get going.)

He's fucking the dog. (He's not being productive, he's doing a bad job, he's made things worse, he's screwing around.)

He's making puppies. (Less graphic version of 'fucking the dog'.)

Plant your ass. (Sit.)

Playing grab-ass. (Procrastinating- accomplishing nothing, slowing people down.)

He couldn't find his ass in the dark. (He's stupid, ineffective, underqualified, or incompetent.)

He couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel. (He is unbelievably, comically dumb or ineffective. He can't do anything right.)

One foot in the ground. (Dying, or half-dead.)

I'm kicking rocks. (I'm not doing anything productive.)

I'm hauling ass. (I'm running away.)

Madder than a wet hen. (Very, very angry.)

Like I said I'm not sure that these are all idioms but they're all the phrases and sayings from my childhood that I can remember right now

EDIT: Cannot BELIEVE I forgot my mom's favourite

52. Wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which gets filled first. (Wishes don't come true by themselves)

Plus some more I forgot:

53. You make a better door than a window. (You're in the way of my view.)

54. You can take a long walk off a short pier. (Go fuck yourself.)

55. He's about as sharp as a bowling ball. (He's stupid.)

56. Scoot your poot. (Move over.)

57. Not my first rodeo. (I know what I'm doing.)

58. He's built like a brick shithouse. (He's broad and sturdy and very strong, solid.)

59. I smell bacon. (I saw a cop nearby.)

60. I don't want to hear a peep. (Stop talking.)

61. You're thinking with the wrong head. (You're making bad decisions because you're horny.)

62. I'd lose my ass/head if it wasn't tied on. (I'm very absent-minded, forgetful.)

63. That went down like a lead balloon. (That situation was bad.)

thepittmemes

parawyrm

More from that one post

parawyrm

Huh. Just realized from finding references that Calvin is pretty consistently left handed. His parents are both right handed, too, so it’s not a question of just making an occasional mistake or anything

Feels like commentary, somehow

howshouldiknowboutlife

Thats really cool! I wonder if one of his parents is also left handed but was taught to use the right hand for school conformity (or is ambidextrous). It Does feel like commentary!

parawyrm

Yeah! Ill want to keep an eye out to make sure, but at least when eating Calvin always uses his left hand. I also know he often complains about stuff like scissors, and often struggles with craft projects as well.

One of Watterson’s strengths was really selling what it was like to be a kid, and that includes all the shitty parts. The way nobody listens, how Calvin has to do so many things he hates just because someone told him to, how often things are just never explained to him, how unfair life is and how there’s nothing he can do about it.

And obviously Calvin is neurodivergent in probably a ton of ways. I think its extremely easy to see the ADHD and the autism, and I know a number of people see him being plural as well, and I think the text can support all of that. Most of that wasn’t intentional, as far as I know—Watterson didnt set out to write a kid with ADHD, he just wrote what he knew and had seen around him.

And he’s left handed, and yet I can’t for the life of me remember a time when that is brought up or addressed, and that does feel intentional to me. As an example of the ways the world just cannot and will not accommodate your differences, being left handed is one of the original and most straightforward poster children.

So I love especially that it was just… snuck in there, without being called out in any specific way. He could have! It would not have been hard to have an arc about Calvin learning that the reason so many things are hard for him is at least in part because none of the tools were made for him.

But I don’t think that was the point. Calvin knows he’s different already. And one of the most universal childhood experiences is knowing that you’re different, but not knowing how. Only that for some intangible, undefined reason, the world isn’t made for you.

howshouldiknowboutlife

Yeah! Such a cool analysis. I wonder if one of Watterson's kids (or one he knew) was lefthanded and he could see the quiet barriers and obstacles set up for them when they couldnt express it themselves.

And maybe he felt if he pointed out any lefthandedness from Calvin, it would distance people from seeing all of him and relating to that. They might instead zero in on the specifics and fail to see his point about acceptance of differences and freedom for kids in general.

colorguardian10

Holy shit. Holy shit I think I can answer this.

There’s a bunch of left-handed family members of one of his childhood friends! Source: that friend is my uncle.

My grandfather on that side was left-handed. My mom inherited it and so did I! I know Bill knew at least one person who was punished for being left-handed in school - his friend’s kid sister.

fox-moxin

merlinsbeard4332

I never pass up an opportunity to share this essay.

greenapplegirl90

In her first video interview from Johnson County Jail, Hill says she is a “political prisoner” who has been unjustly locked up by the Trump

sciencemyfiction

Hope it's okay to share some quotes from the transcription of this interview:

SM: Why would they do that as a favor to the president, do you think? Why do you think Trump would see that as an assist for him? AH: Because the president, you know, tweeted directly about us. Our case is the first case in United States history where any defendant has been successfully tried and convicted as part of a, like, an antifa-related thing, right? The Justice Department said, “This is the first time we have put antifa behind bars,” basically. But not in those exact words, right? But this is a part of the president’s agenda, you know, to create this narrative of left-wing terrorism, you know, basically in order to be able to prosecute political dissent against him. So I think that, like, if the Fifth Circuit were to overturn this case, which is the first of hundreds, right? The Justice Department has tried to go after, you know, people from Stop Cop City, you know, people from Minnesota and the George Floyd rebellions, and say like, “These people are antifa,” and hundreds of such cases have been shut down. Ours is the first such case to have made it all the way to conviction and sentencing, and that’s because of the fact that they were able to get such a conservative judge, such a conservative prosecutor, and have it tried in such a conservative district, right? In other jurisdictions, this would have been thrown out as a matter of law, but it’s thanks to the fixing of Mark Pittman and the pressure that the prosecutor Sean Smith’s superiors put on him to take this case all the way to trial, that that is what happened and I am here today.

And:

SM: What has this been like for you from a mental perspective? How has it affected your state of mind? Like I can’t imagine this has been easy, and through this interview to me, you’ve come across as kind of chill. AH: You know, I’m a pretty spiritual person, pretty philosophical person. When I am in a situation where no action is likely to lead to an acceptable outcome, I take no action. And to a certain extent, I do not believe in 50 years. I don’t. Maybe I’m in denial but I still kind of don’t believe that I’m actually going to serve out this whole sentence and I think there’s a little reason for optimism in that regard. There is a big movement of support for a political pardon for us from the next Democratic president of the United States. My mother told me that my father said that the next time a Democratic president is in office, he’s going to write him a letter to ask for a pardon for me. And that was the first positive interaction that I’ve had with my dad in five years. And when I heard that, I just burst into tears and, like, just became hysterical for five minutes because it was just the perfection of the absurdity of the time to me. My arch-conservative father, who I can’t really stand to be in the same room as right now because of his transphobia, that he would do this thing, right, like appeal to a Democratic president on my behalf. And it really shows this bipartisan sentiment that this is obviously unjust, this is obviously political. You know, if this arch-conservative and I can find common ground over the belief that this is a political persecution, I think that there’s a very strong chance for some future good thing to come our way out of that.

And:

SM: Is there anything else I didn’t ask you that you want to get out, that you wanna say in this context? Obviously, people will see this and I know you have limited connection to the outside world. AH: I would say the same thing that I’ve said before, which is: Be brave. We’ve been accused of being terrorists, but terror is the power that this administration wants to ply in order to keep people quiet, in order to keep people content. Fear of incarceration, fear of homelessness, you know, it’s this fear, this fear that we’re going to lose our privileges, that we are going to use our comfort, that keeps people docile, keeps people from speaking the truth. Don’t be afraid.

cryptidjeepers

just watched a star trek episode about a planet that relied so heavily on it's computer system that they all forgot the basics of their own knowledge. and that allowed them to miss the fact that they were being posioned with radiation and nearly ending their civilization. because they couldn't use their own knowledge to figure things out. i bring this up for no reason in particular

maidslime

There is no actual, tangible reason why we allow people to starve, to be homeless, to suffer and die needlessly. Food is plentiful. Empty homes are plentiful. Medicine is plentiful. It’s hidden away behind constructs and we pretend those constructs mean something. There is an empty home and a homeless family, give them it. There is a sick child and common medicine to treat it, give it to them. There is a starving person and so much food wasted by corporations or hidden behind a dollar sign, feed them.

c-53

imagine going to a house party and ask to go to the bathroom and like theres a dark souls silver knight guarding a chest in there. and like you ask him to not look but he doesn’t respond at all. He’s not like agro, or staring at you with intent, but he’s FULLY aware of your presence and watching you like you intend to steal

c-53