Moonshine and Manchild

Journal for father of Starshine and Moonbeam (function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){i['GoogleAnalyticsObject']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){ (i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o), m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m) })(window,document,'script','//www.google-analytics.com/analytics.js','ga'); ga('create', 'UA-60753066-1', 'auto'); ga('send', 'pageview');

[moonshinemanchild]

I could....

...do one of those year in review posts but they are all the same and are rarely ground breaking. Not that anything here is ground breaking.

So it started really badly, but got considerably better. Fitness goals in a half marathon completed, a substantial promotion and StarShine and MoonBeam going from strength to strength. It ends with us on the countdown to moving into a great news house we paid substantially less for than it was worth.

Unfortunately we’re heading into a period where other families are going through a series of troubles which could have significant consequences on my little tribe. 

Next year will also have fresh challenges, personally and professionally. Next year will be a big one. A pivotal one I suspect in many ways.

As long as StarShine and MoonBeam keep doing what they are doing though - it’ll be sublime

[moonshinemanchild]

She was

...pretty upset.

In a strange smaller bed, she was unsettled and calling out for her people.

She wouldn’t settle with Mum’s help and I was pretty useless in making a change (quite common).

So we let ride out for a while.

As we were away they had to share a room. And then it happened, one of those beautiful first time occurrences.

StarShine started to sing a lullaby. Twinkle Twinkle little star. MoonBeam stopped crying and listened. All was quiet. 

Within 15 minutes they were both asleep. 

When battling to get a kid to sleep, you remember how bad it could be. Up for hours, are they sick, are they evil etc.....so when the actually sleep it is exquisite.

The fact that her older sister and took it upon herself to help out, nailed it and all in the act of caring for her upset sibling was beautiful in my eyes. I was immensely proud of her.

Then she got up at 5am after we got in bed at about 12. It was a long day....long, but an immensely proud one 

[moonshinemanchild]

It’s been quite...

....the Whopping amount of time since I last wrote.

Has much changed? Probably not really. Both StarShine and MoonBeam are bigger, they talk much more, they understand lots and lots more. 

This is particularly heartening for me, especially with MoonBeam. It is that great time when they can properly start to communicate, they get a sense of humour and generally - are just more fun.

I know as a first time Dad up to this point, things were pretty boring being a parent. That would resonate would some other Dads I’m sure.

You work, you come home, the kid babbles, shits, then goes to bed. You have a connection of course but they just aren’t that engaging. 

It’d be different if you were a stay at home Dad, so you could experience each little piece of development as it happened. But if you’re not - I didn’t start really getting into parenthood until this time.

So for any of those new Dads of aren’t quite feeling it yet - stick with it. It’ll definitely get better......well, it did for me and as a faux authority of such matters it must be the same everywhere else :)

[moonshinemanchild]

Like buses...

...three come along at once.

This just came to mind.

My first inkling in shift into new challenges has been at StarShine’s dance class.

She has done it for a while and is getting bored of it. She has told us so and is acting up in class too. For a long time though, she has had a little pal there. She seems nice enough, a bit spoilt with a unruly younger sibling and a disinterested Dad sat there fucking about on his phone all class.

There is more back story to the Dad but not worth writing down - nevertheless, I don’t like him.

Of late though, StarShines Pal has started hanging around exclusively with another little girl. Of course this is fine. They are little kids. I’ve watched StarShine and she doesn’t seem affected, or didn’t seem affected. 

This was until last week when she tried to interact with the new pals and was rejected. She then tried to talk to another little girl and she was rejected there too.

I’ll admin it hurt. It shouldn’t and is irrational to think it is important. But seeing her even slightly rejected did get on my nerves. Obviously I’m not going to try and influence them to play to gether.....but it did remind me of a truly important skill to teach my kids.

Resilience.

If she was older, she may have been more upset. Not she just does her thing and carries on. 

And for me, I’ll do the same - I probably have a more subconscious thing against her dad than anything else, impacting in the way I think about the entire non-situation.

Stroker that he is. 

[moonshinemanchild]

Why you scared of such a maaaannn?!

Troll from Frozen, adopted by StarShine

[moonshinemanchild]

As the lovely...

...lass below is supposed to demonstrate I presume - we’re moving house.

Apart from the usual pressures you associate with a house move, financial and time and the like, it does represent a shift away, a change in direction and a new dawn. Fresh start.

Now nothing new in feeling that kind of stuff. To be honest though, I’m just not arsed in the slightest.

We are moving because of StarShine and MoonBeam. That part I’m excited about as we’re doing it as their needs change. But I take no joy whatsoever in moving to a better house in a better suburb. I presume I’m supposed to feel happy about the move, but just feel nothing.

Maybe it is the impending move that it is dampening my spirits. Maybe it is slight fear the unknown (we’re moving to an adjacent suburb so not exactly on par with moving the family to Mogadishu). Or maybe it is this change in direction, because of the girls, that has me unsettled. They are growing up now and will face and present new challenges in their development plus the development of Mum and I. 

We’ve probably had it too easy for too long. We’ll see how we go

[moonshinemanchild]

The week has finally arrived

[moonshinemanchild]

It’s been...

...a little while since I’ve posted an update and with reasonably good reason

We’re selling our house and trying to find somewhere bigger and in better school areas. You could say it was poor foresight not to get this sorted out we bought this place back in 2006 but we had to get in the game somehow.

So now we’re in the game and about to maybe get our of it. Deciding on another purchase is difficult and we’ve already got an offer on our place. So this will mean renting for a while until we can get it right.

You can imagine there is a bit of work in this and there has been. Plus, all this searching for houses means more internet use and so we routinely blow our limit. Chromebooks aren’t much use without the internet, hence the lack of update.

So....we’re about to be homeless and for added complexity my job has took a tumultuous turn of late. Not a bad one, but one which does add an element of uncertainty. It is leaving me nervous.

Luckily, the girls are young enough that they are oblivious to the majority of what is going on. Starshine knows we’re moving but she is largely nonplussed. I expect tears when the time comes.

MoonBeam is MoonBeam, still careering around, climbing, eating and dancing. 

There is a real element though of comfort in being debt free given our current situation. Debt-free in a good, albeit, rented home, provides me with more security than buying another place at the minute. 

The summary on this one? My girls are resilient and we will bring them up to be that way. Where ever we end up, our parenting I strongly believe, will make the difference. Not an extra bathroom or a cavernous rumpus room....

...however useful they might be

[moonshinemanchild]

We probably all get....

...those days where we feel invincible, for whatever reason. Things could be going great, we could be angry and want to lash out or we actually could even be actually invincible.

Today was one of those days for a mix of the above (maybe not the last point). Dropped StarShine at school and was asked to come into the office. Nothing to do with behaviour, was about the aftermath of various events that took earlier this year, which thankfully didn’t involve my daughter (couldn’t say that at the time, but feel confident I can say it now).

Once again, don’t care to elaborate in this post. Walking out of that place though, I did feel invincible. But I also felt tired. Both kids had been up at various points the night before and Mum had done her usual magic to get them back down....so it was an odd feeling.

When I used to play Rugby, when I was younger also before kids, I used to watch 300 on a regular basis. Was an attempt to get me in that blood-thirsty, me against the world kind of mood. Worked sometimes, not others. When it did work though, I was invincible.

300 isn’t the catalyst any more for those kind of moods. These events of late have been. And it is an interesting sensation as it isn’t anger or reckless and more often than not morphs into really quite upbeat moods so isn’t all bad.

The feeling faded as the day dragged, I became tired, flagged and flagged and came home....to a house of crying girls. I thought briefly about life without kids, the money I’d have, the condition I’d be in physically, the things I could do without anything holding me back. 

Thank fuck I have what I have right now. No better motivator, with no better reward - and no better way to get in that kind of mood that you’d run through walls covered in shit, fire and snakes and come out the other side. To be invincible. 

Right now though, I’m tired.

[moonshinemanchild]

I have just...

....recently finished my participation in the inaugural ‘I Love Dad’ race.

It wasn’t a race though. Not even a chase really. Just a low speed pitter-patter around the house following StarShine. 

Lasted about 5 minutes, distance covered I’d say about 54 metres. MoonBeam spent her time chewing on a surfboard, a quite disinterested spectator.

It lasted 5 minutes, felt like hours of fun. One of those times I’ll cherish 

[moonshinemanchild]

We’re approaching the...

...kind of checkpoint that a lot of families will approach I guess.

That is wanting to move home for kid related reasons. In our case it is size of home, along with standard of local schools.

These reasons are common enough, but to be honest, the range of options I’m finding are bewildering. Build, move, improve where we are, privately school, public school, ride it all out until market improves and concentrate on paying off mortgage etc, etc.....

Everyone has a different opinion and to be honest, I’m struggling to find a way forward. As much as Mum is the absolute rock of everything our immediate family does, dealing with situations like this or seeing them pragmatically isn’t a strength she currently has. So where does that lead us? I guess that means I need to drag it back to what it is all about in the first place.

Starshine and Moonbeam.

I’d live anywhere in anything to be honest, warped beauty of living in rough places in the past. But of course, we want more for the the girls and so the trick is making that happen without jeopardising their standard of living (which is where the finance part comes in - easy to get mansion in good area, and eat beans for ever).

No result to report in this puzzle to date - still as unclear now as I was 3 months ago when we started getting the house ready to sell. 

Supremely confident though in that whatever decision we make it’ll be a good one. Getting good at that these days

[moonshinemanchild]

I don’t care what anybody....

...says - farts are funny.

From the reactions to cheeky silent ones to the abject horror of hearing and smelling flatulence to end all flatulence, in there somewhere is some humour.

On this front, I was reasonably pleased to be named a ‘Trump Sister’ by StarShine. I say reasonably pleased as to me it shows she has some imagination and in there somewhere she loves her Dad. But conversely, this also means that 1) she does some ripper farts that truly stink and 2) she obviously has to learn some day that letting off in this manner isn’t really the done thing in many social situations.

Being Trump Sisters, we share the obvious in common, which means also finding humour in those situations when the need arises.

I’m reminded of a time on NYE 2014 when at a friends place for dinner, along with visiting family, we were just about to put fork to steak when StarShine let our the most hilarious parp. I naturally felt embarrassed but then laughed along with her, as she chuckled and then got stuck in. Everyone else? Didn’t budge. No sounds. Not the slightest acknowledgement that anything had ever happened apart from dinner beginning.

I’m pleased we both reacted the way we did and will continue to see those incidents for what they are. Funny, noisy and not quite a breath of fresh air.

[moonshinemanchild]

I find it...

...mildly interesting how other people do things with their kids in comparison to how we treat ours. I mean exactly that, mildly interesting, as I don’t get upset or obsess about how to bring up the children and get wrapped up in the many debates around the right/wrong way to do things and the doom your child will face in later life if you don’t.....blah, blah blah. 

So I found it mildly interesting when at a friend’s place recently, where a number of other families were there with children all under the age of 4, how they were treated. I was there alone, with Starshine and Moonbeam well tucked up in bed and left Moonshine to indulge in whichever crappy cop show she desired. 

These kids were up until well past 11pm, chasing each other around and carrying on. I know that the majority of these kids have poor sleeping pattens with two of them sleeping with their parents from birth and continued to this day.

Don’t get me wrong, the kids were fine. There was no fighting or issues, no tears, no screaming. Just kids playing. And ultimately I didn’t care in the slightest about what it meant not having kids tucked up in bed. They weren’t my kids and I didn’t have to deal with any fall out. 

It more so highlighted to me that maybe we had actually got something right with this parenting lark - are kids have always had routines for sleep, which has proved to work very well for everyone getting some solid kip. 

Occasionally when we talk about this to others, you get a mix of responses. Some agree, some disagree, some are envious and some find it really quite odd and also rude when we explain we can’t do or attend particular events due to sleep times.

For me, it will continue to be mildly interesting how all this pans out in the long term. Will my kids do better in life, be smarter or healthier? Or will it just mean we missed out on the odd lunch or party?

Maybe others will be more interested.

[moonshinemanchild]

It was a close...

...one indeed for poor Starshine. Funnily enough, I'd just finished by first post introducing the main players in this journal when there was an almighty crash from further down the house. This coupled with the kind of scream that strikes the absolute worst fear in a parent meant a frenzied dash. Drawers had fallen over, ripping the safety mechanism clean from the wall. Starshine was stood out of harms way, very upset. 

It could have been nasty. It turns out she had pulled out all of the drawers and so I'm presuming with the weight of all 5, it toppled. Very luckily, she had moved out of the way before it did.

When I heard the crash and the scream, the frenzied dash I mentioned earlier certainly was that. Not that any other parent wouldn't do the same, but at present I'm more susceptible to over the top reactions to anything that troubles the children. 

I don't want to write about why right now, but definitely will at some point. The incident that has instilled this heightened sense of protective behaviour in me occurred earlier this year. We're all over it now and our children are going to be better equipped to deal with situations like this because of it. 

Ultimately though everyone is OK - Starshine survived the ordeal from the Attack of the Killer Drawers, I didn't run through any walls to save her and Moonbeam did what Moonbeam usually does in similar loud and confusing situations - she crawled over, collecting what every floor food she could find, and sat down in the front of the event, chomping on her spoils. 

At this point, I've returned from a 9km (more in this latest attempt to get fit and not die early in later posts) run to find a silent, snoozing household. It is 7:21 and everyone needs to be awake. The frenzied dash this morning will be making work on time no doubt....

Less enigmatic read next time around.

[moonshinemanchild]

In the beginning...

...there was just two. Me and Mum. She wasn't Mum then though, she was which ever usually unflattering name I could dream up at the time. Gwildor was one of them. That's right the little fuzz-guy from Masters of the Universe the movie. The one with the penchant for chicken and for dicking around with cosmic keys.

Mum didn't have a cosmic key back then and she doesn't now. She did/does have wonderful red hair though, just like Gwildor, hence the hugely witty and ultimately not very nice name.

I don't call her this any more and won't again in this blog. She'll be Mum. Mum and I were married in 2009 and had Starshine in 2011. Moonbeam showed up in 2014. Although I am quite a hippy in many respects, not to the point where the actual names for my girls are Starshine and Moonbeam. 

This is what they will be called though as I document mainly my relationship with them and Mum. 

Posts will aim to be regular, probably weekly. Some long, some short. 

The purpose of this? To keep track really. To note thoughts, feelings, events, highs, lows, troubles, surprises and joy. Some posts upbeat. Some posts dark and depressing. Won't be an update of weekly events. Topics will occur to me and I'll write about them.

As I type this initial post, Starshine is watching Despicable Me (she likes Pixar/Disney stuff and so do me and Mum to a certain degree - works out well). Moonbeam is behind me, wrecking CD cases, attempting to eat out of the bin. I should stop here and will but I'm on a roll here and the bin is reasonably empty - she won't get into anything too bad I'm sure. On that note, she has now crawled out of sight......back later.