There Can Only Be One Alpha

Jess. 28. Bi. Scorpio.

[wandavisionedits]

      H E I G H T  D I F F E R E N C E

[clairenovvak]

supernatural / when harry met sally (1989)

[lordwhat]

cas and jack thinking they’d have like 25 years to perfect rebuilding heaven and redownload everyone that was backed up in the friend archives before dean got there but dean got himself kebab’d in one week flat and everyone’s still buffering so his heaven’s basically empty apart from bobby, who has less pixels because he only has one outfit, and all the roads still lead to nowhere so dean’s been driving in a circle for 50 years thank shit he hasn’t noticed yet oh okay sam’s here now too at least they’ll be distracted for a little while and cas told jack that dean told him that he liked that beer jesus christ this is a disa s t e r

[sarahjaneadventures]

today, supernatural fandom, i offer you this. tomorrow? who knows.

[wolvesofinnistrad]

Wait this is galaxybrain

[doc-anders]

“Ooh, wha’cha gonna do, Hood? Disappoint me to death?”

[calladraws101]

they all need love, Bruce is just bad at showing it....

[doc-anders]

“Robin, that’s it. No more spending time with your brothers.”

[huyandere]

they’re microorganisms now

[ultramarinetwix]

i looked up batman’s height and it turns out that he is climbable

[codenamed-queenie]

Bats IRL

I’ve seen a few ArtBreeder edits floating around, and thought to myself ‘well, heck, self, why don’t we take a stab at it?’

[collectivefandomstuff]

Tim: [walks purposefully into the living room where the family is watching TV] Good Evening family

Everyone:

Bruce: ...Good evening, Tim.

Tim: So, congratulations! You've all managed to reach the fucking limit of my GOD DAMNED patience. Well done Dick for adding the last straw when you got crumbs INSIDE MY COMPUTER

Dick: [looking like a deer in headlights] uuhm...

Tim: In order to cleanse myself of this...

Tim: [through clenched teeth] unbridled. anger.

Tim: I've decided to shanghai this family movie night

Jason: [opening a bottle of beer] to do what?

Tim: I'm glad you asked

Tim: [pulls a large stack of papers from his bag] these are some of your mission reports from the last year

Everyone:

Tim: I'm going to go through them all, point out your mistakes and mock you mercilessly

Damian: -tt- why am I getting punished for Grayson's inadequcies?

Tim: You're responsible for at least 1/3 of this breakdown

Jason: What's stopping us from just leaving?

Tim: If one of you leave, I'll still mock you in front of the whole family you just won't know why everyone's laughing at you for the next two weeks

Tim: If all of you leave I will rig all your technology to mock you in my place

Steph: [raises her hand]

Tim: Yes, Steph?

Steph: can I be excused? I do more good things for you than bad. I'll still stay and listen though

Tim:

Tim: an acceptable argument. You're excused

Steph: [fistpumps] Yisss

Bruce: [starts getting up] In that case, I-

Tim: sit. down.

[collectivefandomstuff]

[on a rooftop stakeout]

Jason: [pulling some sandwiches and a thermos out of his backpack] In the spirit of "fuck your bullshit I'll do it myself" I've decided to become president next term

Tim: Like president of the whole country?

Jason: [sarcastically] No, like the president of my home owner's association. Yes the whole country

Tim: [thoughtful] well you do have enough blood money to fund the campaign

Jason: and enough guns to win it

Tim: I really don't like the implications of that statement, but I'm too swamped right now to get involved so I'm just going to ignore it

Jason: [handing a sandwich to Tim] my platform will be "get a grip" and my campaign slogan is "I get shit done"

Tim: You sure you don't want to go with "I've already proved that I know how to run a criminal empire"

Jason: [considering] Maybe. But I should probably insert an "efficiently" in there somewhere. Pander to the middle class, ya know?

Tim: That's true

Jason: Anyway, I just need to figure out my green initiative and then I'm ready to go

Tim: [biting into his sandwich] you know you're too young to run, right?

Jason: Why is that though?

Tim: Well you haven't lived long enough to be 35 yet so-

Jason: No, I mean, why is there an age limit? You're a 17 year old CEO of a multi billion dollar company but I can't be president? That's bullshit

Tim: [opens his mouth to speak, then closes it again]

Tim: I... don't know

Jason: So will Wayne Enterprises back me?

Tim: You know what? Throw in some gay rights and a sensible international policy and I'm in

Jason: wait, really?

Tim: Last month Bruce told me that I was too young to understand financial politics and honestly I've been looking for a way to get back at him. I'll write you a check tomorrow.

Jason: sweet

Tim and Jason: [munching on their sandwiches in companionable silence]

Tim: do you really have an HOA?

Jason: oh, yeah, they're horrible

Tim: why don't you just run for president there?

Jason: You think I have the fortitude to bring down Becky? She's made of spite and 90 dollar hand lotion and she was forged in a black friday sale.

Jason: I'm pretty sure she's immortal because I think she died once but stormed back out of hell after telling the devil she was going to give him a bad yelp review for sub-par service.

Tim:

Tim: [clears his throat] So the white house, huh?

Jason: I'm gonna have it painted pink

[collectivefandomstuff]

Jason: [mid fight] -AND YOU'RE THE REASON MY FIRST VIGILANTE COSTUME WAS SUCH A DISGRACE! WHAT, WERE PANTS TOO EXPENSIVE?!

Bruce: You know what?! Why don't YOU have a kid and then you can tell me how easy it is to make them wear pants all the time!! I tried my best! Everytime I turned around he had lost them!!

Dick: [in the kitchen] THEY WERE UNCOMFORTABLE

Jason: THERE WERE PANTS?!! WHY DIDN'T YOU GIVE ME PANTS?!

Bruce: I TRIED!! YOU SAID YOU WANTED DICK'S OLD COSTUME

Jason:

Jason: LIES AND SLANDER-

[incorrectbatfam]

Damian: "Ladies and gentlemen" is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly I’m falling asleep already.

Damian: "Cowards", on the other hand, is inclusive to all genders, casual and fun, short and to the point, exciting, and dramatic.

[iamfitzwilliamdarcy]

Damian went from being the Only Child for ten years to the Baby of the Family and that’s a transition that should be discussed more than assassin to vigilante tbqh

[mr-doctor-felicia]

Batman: Robin, don't come on this mission. It's too dangerous.

Robin:

Little robins!

[athenadcvell]

Bruce: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Tim: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Dick: I got distracted about halfway through.

Jason: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.