I would just like to say: I LOVE The Chosen. It's a great way that I've been able to connect more with the spiritual side of my life. I love seeing a retelling of Jesus that feels human and relatable and like someone that could be a brother to me.
I bring this up because I was rewatching the last episode of season 1 as Jesus was speaking to the woman at the well. The woman brought up that by Jewish standards, she could never worship correctly because she couldn't go to the temple in Jerusalem, to which Jesus replied that soon, worship could be done anywhere as long as it was done in spirit and truth.
I am a semi-active member of the church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints. Part of the reason for my inactivity is just because I have a hard time waking up for church and partly because finding the correct YSA ward is difficult when I live in an area within walking distance of about 7 different buildings. But mostly, I haven't felt very welcome at church in a very long time.
I am a transmasculine and nonbinary person, and I am tired of having to hide who I am. When I moved in for college, I almost immediately came out to my bishop and told him that I was actively pursuing hormone treatment. I shared some of the spiritual experiences that had influenced my decision and told him that I did not make the decision to medically transition lightly. He did not respond with the love and care I was hoping for. Not only did he out another trans person to me (misgendering them the entire time), but he told me that I was being influenced by the devil to pursue transition. He told me that he could not use my "preferred" (correct) pronouns because he felt it was "deceitful" to those around me. By the end of the meeting, he had referred me to meet with my stake president and severely damaged my faith and my wellbeing. The meeting with my stake president went much more smoothly (in fact, I think my bishop got a bit of a talking-to because he set up an entire meeting to apologize to me. It was a shitty apology but whatever).
Ever since then, going to church has been a struggle. I still feel so distrustful of those around me, and now that my friends are back home for the summer, it feels like walking into a lion's den every week. It feels like I have to be the perfect saint to be considered good in the slightest. I lost my temple recommend because of my medical transition, and I miss going to the temple dearly. Having no access to the House of the Lord is isolating in a community of young saints where there are near-weekly temple trips. Standing firm in my reality that God has affirmed to me time and time again makes it so I cannot worship like my fellow saints.
So again I am reminded of the woman at the well. Her past was complex and hard. She felt unworthy of redemption. She fretted that she would be unable to worship properly because she was not welcome among the Jewish people. Many of these struggles I also see in myself. But Christ affirms to her, to me, to anyone that feels like an outcast, your worship is enough. Your worship, in spirit and truth, is enough.
Jesus knows our situations. He knows our struggles, our trials, and our unbelonging. He wasn't welcomed by the people of his faith, and the Jewish leaders actively sought to destroy Him. We may be in situations where our leaders are seeking to silence or destroy parts of us that are too different, or that don't fit in their idea of who disciples of Christ can be. But I testify that Jesus will welcome anyone that turns to Him. He is our Savior, our Friend, our Brother, and He will not turn away from you or from me. Christ loves you. God loves you. I know this to be true. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
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