How The Hell Did I Get Here?

No my name has nothing to do with eah Ever After High Blog Mort is my pen name As in Mort from Madagascar Not the word for death Dashboard art by Juliette Oberndorfer

[charlataninred]

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

[meraarts]

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

[eater-of-hopes-and-dreams]

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

[blitzlowin]

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)

The Monster of Sentan

The Witch’s Cat

Raise Both Children

Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)

Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)

My Arch Nemesis Cynthia

Pirates and Mermaid

Eindred and the Witch

The Demon King

The Cornerwitch

Grandmother Beetroot

Apocalypse Daycare Worker

Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon

New Year Saga

A Story About Changelings

Ranger in the King’s Forest

The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit

Goblin Men (Canines)

[charlataninred]

I am in love with you /p

[the-thread-of-the-infinite]

What about the one with the princess locked in a tower learning to become a wizard? That’s lived in my mind for years and I haven’t seen it in a long time

[death-of-the-endless]

Oh, love that story, adding it to the list: 20. Princess Talia and adding a few more contenders 21. Thyme 22. The Monster under the Bed 23. A Meaningful Death 24. Humans are unstoppable…until they aren’t 25. The Monster under the Fridge 26. Antler Guy 27. Cleric slamming healing spells

[death-of-the-endless]

Adding a few more I remembered:  28. The Frog and the Scorpion 29. HSTHETE 30. The First Witch in the World 31. Imagine that Oceans were replaced by Forests  32. A Faerie taking a Name  33. The Dragon on the Farm  34. Synovus & Menace  35. Raising the Anti-Christ  36. Aliens vs. Flora & Fauna of Earth (pretty sure there are even more additions to the original post but I had this one saved)  37. Doctors without Borders…in Space!  38. The Villain-Wrangler  39. The Last Contact  40. The 100 Parent-Point Children  41. And the Heavens Wept  42. The Night Gentleman  43. The Serpent God and their Priestess 

[knottahooker]

44. No One Showed Up for the Last Storytime

[morcai]

45. A Guide for Young Ladies Entering the Service of the Faries

You can’t get this one on Tumblr anymore, but it started here and I think about it every damn day

[mort-the-destroyer]

Yknow what im just going to post this im not working on it anymore!

Happy 2026

[legayllyblonde]

almost christma-- almos-- almost christmas means it wasn't christma-- 💥💥💥 AUUGH!!!

(patterns under the cut!)

Here are the patterns, in 3 different forms. Tag or link back to me if you make one yourself; I'd love to see it!

There's some back-stitching, half-stitches, and dreadful French knots... adjust as you need. It fits well in a 6 inch hoop :-)

Additionally, this fills my "Almost Christmas" prompt for @aceattorneybingo... we're going to ignore the fact that I haven't had time to do any others since last time. Mermaids soon, hopefully!

[kozativa]

its that time of year already huh

[tizzymcwizzy]

HAPPY ALMOST CHRISTMAS!!! 🎉☃️🎄💥

[encyst]

People on side b "kinverse" tumblr in 2015: kinning villains is so weird and suspicious like how can you see yourself in these horrible people Normal people would look at you funny if you told them this

The average parent unprompted: Im Walter White

[cowboyhatesithere]

okay tumblrinas, tell me what you got on this mock rice purity test for performative males

The Official Performative Purity Test

I got a 67 but I do these things in EARNESTNESS

[mort-the-destroyer]

Its kind of funny how the word performative has just turned into another way to say metrosexual

[mort-the-destroyer]

Marceline Drawing!!!

Happy Halloween!

[ceasarslegion]

One of my more controversial opinions is that religion never should've been allowed in general education. Like I dont think catholic schools should be allowed. If you want your kid to have religious education you should stick to Sunday school and Bible camp, otherwise there absolutely should not be fucking science classes taught through a biblical lens

[mort-the-destroyer]

As someone who is an atheist who was formerly a catholic school student, while I do have my own criticisms on my experience I don’t think that most catholic schools are teaching creationism in science class.

Health class however is a whole other can of worms.

[mort-the-destroyer]

Flashback to my cookie run phase where I made an au where knight cookie got turned into a witch via a potion accident caused by alchemist.

[pukicho]

"Ew that's gay" I say. Not in a derogatory or belittling way, but in an uplifting and cool kinda way. Like in a pro-gay sorta way. Still meaning it as an insult, but in a very woke and progressive way.

[pukicho]

#Gay Ally

[mort-the-destroyer]

^

Entertainment Weekly that one time

[mort-the-destroyer]

[onlinebeast]

What was your obscure chatroom/forum that you used before social media? Don’t say Gaia Online or Club Penguin. I’m talking obscure.

[mort-the-destroyer]

Chimpoo motherfuckers!!

[oddarette]

I really wanted make what a bedroom in the pool rooms would look like. I’m very much obsessed with liminal spaces and I am testing the limits of my skill sets with this one. I wanna make more as much as I wanna find people that are as obsessed with the backrooms/poolrooms as I am.

[mort-the-destroyer]

Gosh the way that you’ve drawn the tiles here are perfect. It actually looks like something that you would find in a fancy hotel.

[vagabond-pinky]

favorite characters who the fandom decided to unfairly turn against despite being the most interesting and complex character in their series

[vagabond-pinky]

I'm not trying to disagree but I would like to say that Apple does learn, she doesn't "reset", she regresses, which is a completely human thing to do.

But anyway, my post wasn't about whether the characters above are good people or whatever. Apple is 100% the villain of eah, she’s a narrative fascist and represents the corrupt power system.

My point was that Apple's flaws and her antagonistic role makes her an interesting person, especially with all of her positive traits. I think it's ridiculous to dislike Apple when she's the secondary lead and her conflict is one of the most important things in eah. Like, i just think you're in the wrong place buddy.

Ever After High would be worse off if Apple wasn't in it. Stories need conflict, and sometimes the protagonist is the villain.

[vrsenus]

how do you ADMIT that she represents bigotry and fascism yet expect people to like her simply because she’s a well written character? She was a character made to be hated you said she is an antagonist and villain(which technically she is not a villain but definitely an antagonist) yet you are surprised people dislike her? A character that is made specifically for that type of reaction from the crowd? 😭

[vagabond-pinky]

Fam, Ever After High obviously liked Apple and encouraged fans to like her. Remember the whole 'pick a side! Rebel or royal!' thing in the marketing? She was never made to be hated, she was just written to be in the wrong,

I like well written characters! Regardless of whether theyre good or bad

[vrsenus]

If the show was focusing on making Apple likeable they wouldn’t have made her a antagonist or visibly in the wrong lol

[vagabond-pinky]

??? There were literally two narrators and one of them took apple's side? She's the co-face of the franchise?

They made so many dolls of her? Her official bio talks about how sweet and kind she is?

Obvs im not saying you have to like her but like, eah clearly loves Apple.

[vrsenus]

Being a main character doesn’t mean you weren’t written to get a negative reaction from the crowd…what? Apple is an antagonist who is shown to be repeatedly in the wrong throughout the series and who is shown to be a horrible friend. So many dolls made does not validate your point, the bios also have raven saying she isn’t looking for a romance yet was into Dexter in the webisodes? Apple was never made to be favored by fans if she was the writers wouldn’t have made her the antagonist it’s obvious she was written for negative reactions because she does stupid shit throughout the show

[mort-the-destroyer]

So for context: as Shannon Hale was writing this series she was in the process of leaving the church of latter day saints (mormon church) and I don’t think that it’s a coincidence that Apple’s character relies on her fear that something really bad will happen to her friends if they don’t follow the strict rules of her belief system.

[daydreamodyssey]

"Ohmigod, don't look now, but that guy is totally A-posing for you."

[mort-the-destroyer]

Canadians looking at their presidential nominees

[dominiqueramseyart]

Pigeon character designs

[mort-the-destroyer]

Amythest from Steven universe if she was a cunty bird