this is my void to scream into @mortal-is-mortal - Tumblr Blog

Clawing and scratching my way out of the trenches of depression fueled thoughts. Grabbing myself by the shoulders and shaking, going “the answer to your suffering is NOT more suffering!” and “no, it is NOT a good idea to stop taking care of yourself and seeing how bad it really gets.”

Honorable mention to “the concept of ‘deserving’ to feel better or worse is so subjective as to be functionally useless, so who the fuck cares if you ‘deserve’ relief. Feeling better will allow me to do better. Take the damn meds.”

pl4net4ry

being chronically ill but mostly functional is so fun

it's like *knock knock knock* hey I know it's 9am and you have to work but what if we actually stayed in bed and made it impossible for you to work or do anything else you need/want to do :) glad we could agree now lay back down or else

cozy-stardust

I wish there was one place I could go to get everything medically checked out all at once. I'd be fine with being poked and prodded at like a little lab rat as long as at the end of the entire experience I get a list of absolutely everything wrong with me in one neat little packet and I don't have to return for a whole year.

Get my blood drawn, an MRI, see a dentist, my glasses prescription undated, and they keep me overnight for a sleep study.

Then when they're all done they give me some apple slices and gently release me back into my natural habitat like a feral cat.

weird-and-unwell

If you have chronic fatigue and sleep a lot, people will tell you that you're just lazy and need a better sleep pattern to be less tired.

If you have chronic fatigue but don't sleep a lot, people will tell you that you can't actually be tired after all.

In either case it's people going "there's no way you could have an actual medical condition causing fatigue" and there's no way to win so just ignore them as much as you can.

im-staying-calm-this-time

Chronic illness sucks because you’ll catch yourself thinking shit like ‘I wish it was possible to bathe regularly’ or ‘they should invent a digestive system that doesn’t hurt’ and then realise… that’s actually the case for most people. That’s the norm. Not only do most people have that, they don’t even think about it

nimandmossy

Ok but can we talk about the loneliness that comes with being chronically ill? If you’re not able to work or go to events, there’s so much time spent by yourself.

It feels like Im a zoo animal with no enrichment or friends, just me staring out the glass

eternallysluggish

Do any other chronically ill or disabled people feel like they're watching themselves rot away due to how little they can do as a result of their conditions

battle-for-dyke-island

”easy recipe you can make no matter how tired!” dude I can barely make a sandwich most days. hell even toast. that is often too much for me. don’t speak to me with the word ‘easy’ and ‘recipe’ in the same sentence, if I can’t grab it out of the fridge and go it’s not gonna work

passeroidea-deactivated20260420

too tired to make food -> tired from not eating food -> too tired to make food -> ...

why is fatigue such a vicious cycle

passeroidea-deactivated20260420

"you're so strong" "you're so resilient" "you're so brave" what if I don't want to be? what if I want to break down and cry? why do I have to be strong?

identitty-dickruption

anti-psychiatry in that. the symptoms are real. the lived experiences are real. but being Mad has meaning because it has social meaning. the strict lines between Mad and sane are socially constructed and they are defined by what is necessary in the context of the means of production & reproduction. individuals are not wrong or bad for finding meaning or use in psychiatric categories but that doesn’t make those categories any less constructed. anti-psych as in. we give too much power and authority to institutions that are designed to regulate certain expressions of human experience and Mad people deserve better

nonbeans

The mind numbing anger of chronic fatigue is getting irritable because you're so fucking tired but you really feel like you SHOULDNT BE.

You SHOULD be able to sit at a desk and do work. You SHOULD be able to just watch a freaking YouTube video. You SHOULD be able to just eat fucking lunch.

But you can't. Because your eyes are closing and it's like temporary death is taking you.

haintxblue

if it was just one person I'd take it up with them personally, but it's so many people so often that I can't do anything but get frustrated and cry so I'm gonna cry about it here

Hypersomnia sucks. Narcolepsy sucks. Being unable to stay awake sucks, and it's also terrifying. Sometimes I wake up and cry because I can already tell that I'm not going to be able to stay awake.

I understand that most people are more familiar with being sleep deprived than the opposite and so maybe "I slept forty hours in two days" sounds like an amazing luxury. But it's not. That's two days of missed work and exercise and fun. That's two days of constantly waking up and trying desperately to stay awake and failing. That's two days where you had eight hours worth of snatches of being terrified of your own body and stressing over how much you're not getting done, how much work you're not doing. Two days of weird fragmented nightmares about not being able to wake up. Two days of having to ask someone else whether you walked the dog because you can't tell if you dreamed it or did it in a state halfway to sleep walking. And you will wake up and you will STILL BE TIRED. you will not wake up rested and cheerful and rejuvenated. You will wake up exhausted and weary and wanting to die.

I know people don't know this. I know there's no malice in it and I try so hard to be understanding of that. But for the love of God "I slept forty hours in two days" is not something a healthy person says and to reply to it with 'ill trade you, I can't sleep' which happens to me EVERY TIME I MENTION IT ALOUD is frustrating and invalidating. I've had dozens of people say this to me. I'm so sick of it.

I don't want your insomnia! It sounds miserable! I can empathize! Please try to do the same for me, even though my experiences may seem difficult to understand at first! I know you don't mean ill! Please!

#this