ya….it kinda like.... follows

22

[treecitysessions]

I could literally see myself getting into a physical altercation over Riverdale. I’m like one bad day away from getting into a physical altercation over Riverdale

[treecitysessions]

[ayatollahsmegmafactory]

I have absolutely zero desire to watch a Hollywood adaptation of an ancient Greek story but I'm glad they allowed Matt to get his pussy fucked on the regular by Ben. I'm sure he was squirting on it.

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[greeniery]

if I’m beinghonest im in the pussy like

[greeniery]

[dogpuppy]

[despazito]

the official white house twitter account just posted an ai trump vance parody of the full rick and morty intro

[chinesecentury]

Is there a gofundme for the iranian ballistic missile programme

[mortallyetcetc]

why is it that when i wish trump dead around a liberal they're like "that wouldn't even help :(" mann FUCK you. yes the fuck it would A and B, it doesn't have to. i want him dead for the love of the game

[pissvortex]

[pissvortex]

[lamignonette]

[modernbaseball]

2 am: bedtime were meant to be broken 😈

7 am: I hope i get in a car accident

[mortallyetcetc]

me, about to eat my 50th burger and smoke my 1000th cigarette this week: why tf do i have sleep apnea... this came out of no where....

[mortallyetcetc]

#writer

[mortallyetcetc]

i fixed that sentence. and the reason it was so bullshit in the first place is bc i was rushing it to get to the sex scene. which i wrote and it was mid. anyway the scene i wrote after the fact was also mid but i pulled a rather silly sentence out of my ass and it made me feel better about the scene. it was like "enjoy your accolades at the next eater conference" or something. definitely something i would say irl and everyone would be like omg thats soo crazy how could u say that. but it goes over way easier in writing. in my opinion. #writer

[mortallyetcetc]

girl gets on my phone crying about how bad she made her life while i'm in the middle of a depressive episode and she gets irritated w me for not caring enough... which is true. meanwhile when i got out of the psych ward she was like why are you even upset ur life's not that bad. i shld've cut her off then bro

[lemonsweet]

Do you remember the episode of Spongebob where he's training gary for the snail race and does a coach persona + calls gary a girl and has an aside where he's like "I called you a lady to demean you 🤓" and right after he says that it cuts to sandy and she somehow telepathically feels that Spongebob just did something misogynistic and us like I feel like I need to kick Spongebobs ass for some reason. And then she appears just at the end of the episode to kick his ass.

[lemonsweet]

These tags keep making me laugh

[i-am-the-oyster]

[bloodclotbitch]