ace/aro/lesbian

Christina (she/her) Asexual and Aromantic blog, with some other LGBTQ+ posts on occasion. Redbubble user: inthedetails I sell pride merch! Hey remember that one time I fell in love? Classic.

[queerdungeons]

Now that I have a Lightbox I can take updated photos of Archibald Asparagus Saint Sebastian

[queerdungeons]

Fellas… the creator of Veggietales has seen it

[queerdungeons]

😭

[peppersmile]

saw a car pass by with such a forlorn looking german shepherd in the passenger seat window today. it looked like this

[yourmomsgmailaddress]

some aro pride frog drawings for you

[katealot]

when your attorney is ace idk i’ve never played the game

[drumlincountry]

As a baby teen who didn’t know she was gay, it was the asexual community that taught me;

Intimacy doesn’t have to mean sex.

I don’t have to have sex if I don’t want to. I don’t have to have sex full stop!

I can love boys and not want to have sex with them.

I should trust my gut on what I do and don’t want to do.

I can picture a future that isn’t marrying a man. I can picture a future that doesn’t involve marrying anyone. I can picture whatever future I want and then I can go get it.

I don’t need an iron clad justification to say no to things. I can just, not want to.

and most generally, most importantly:

My comfort matters. I don’t have to force myself to do ANYTHING that makes me uncomfortable!! If a situation, a relationship, or a vision of the future makes me uncomfortable! I can ditch it!

I don’t know how long it would have taken me to find my home in the queer community without asexuality. I can never thank the asexual community too much for me you helped me be.

So I’m sending mad love and respect to all asexuals and aromantics this fine ace awareness week. May your lives be filled with joy and comfort. May your communities flourish forever. 🖤 🤍 💜

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p.s. fuck transmisogyny when I say men I mean men not amabs

p.p.s. eat seasonal produce everyone. Braised cabbage is delicious.

[bumblebeebats]

i love when people are like “Oh my god, I couldn’t possibly imagine being asexual, how sad, you’re missing so much…” Bitch!!! You know what’s sad? Being gluten intolerant. If you placed two pills in front of me right now, one which would turn me allosexual and one which would enable me to tear into a freshly-baked oven-warm olive-and-rosemary ciabatta without utterly destroying my body, it would not even be a choice. “hyuhhh-duhhhh aren’t you worried you’ll die alone” aren’t you worried i’ll just launch myself over the bakery counter in our local grocery store one day and stuff croissants in my mouth like a starving racoon til i die and the whole place has to be closed down as a health risk while they peel my bloated body off the linoleum floor? You should be

[queer-cosette]

@ assholes who think asexual people are just either traumatised or repressed, have you ever considered that maybe some of us just ate too many cornflakes as weans

[slowlyshytheorist]

My good people, I give you: Amatonormativity.

[small-strong-bookish-butch]

Transcript (with spaces added for accessibility):

“You and this perfect person, who you’ve never met before, to come out of nowhere, fit into your life perfectly, complete you, and make you whole for the first time in your life, like your mother did for me.”

And even though what he said sounds sweet and whatever, the way it manifested to my seven-year-old self is, “If you are not with someone, you are broken. If you are not with someone, you are incomplete. If you are not with someone, you are not whole.”

And that’s not just something that my dad made me feel, that’s something that we as a society for the last 40 years has made every single child feel. Every Disney prince has a princess, every princess has a prince, and every television show or movie always has a character in it that doesn’t want to be in a relationship. They’re happy with who they are. But guess what, by the end of the series? They were wrong! They were wrong for wanting to be alone, the fucking idiot!

It’s all to do with love. Everyone needs someone. And when you raise children in that world, where everything points towards love, when you’ve raised them for 18 fucking years, when you become an adult for the first time in your late teens and early 20’s, we’re so terrified.

We’re so trying to be an adult that some of us will take the wrong person, the wrong jigsaw, and force them into our jigsaws anyway. I’m going to force this fucking person into our lives because it’s much better to have something than nothing.

Then five years later, you’re stood looking at this jigsaw you don’t recognize, being like, “Ah! There’s a fucking cunt in the middle of this!” And in that moment, you have a very, very difficult question to ask yourself. Do I admit the last five years of my life have been a waste? Do I waste the rest of my life?

My generation has become so obsessed with starting the rest of their lives that they give up the one that they’re currently living. We have romanticized the idea of romance, and it is cancerous. People are more in love with the idea of love than they are with the person they are with. The worst thing you can do with your life is to spend it with the wrong human being.

[three-blogs-in-a-trenchcoat]

I would like to point out that this is a fucking stand up special, and it’s said to have broken off hundreds of relationships. It’s also very funny in addition to being very insightful, it’s Daniel Sloss’s Jigsaw, it’s on Netflix.

[ceies]

“AH There’s a fucking cunt in the middle of this” I’m crying 🤣🤣

[mostly-aromantic]

I'm always conflicted when I see a post saying anything along the lines of, "You shouldn't say 'just friends' because friendship is not worth less than romance!"

Because obviously it is true, romance and friendship are on equal grounds, or at least should be. No one should treat their platonic friends as less valuable to them as their romantic partner is.

HOWEVER, I have used the phrase "just friends" because I have needed to convey that while my partner is my friend AND my S/O, others are just my friends. It is not to say that they are only friends and do not matter as much as my parnter, but simply that my partner is 2 things to me while they are 1 thing.

Honestly, it seems to be an issue of semantics lol. Does anyone else ever think about this? I'd love to hear thoughts!

[aromantic-xcviii]

I think about this all the time! I don't personally like the phrase "just friends" (for the reason you listed) but then I do find myself using it sometimes, so I end up pondering on the phrase a lot.

I think (to me) sometimes the phrase is okay, and sometimes its not, and it depends how the person is using it.

I think of it like the difference between saying "this one is just red, this one is just blue, and that one is both red and blue" versus saying "oh this? oh, this is just a little thing I picked up on my way home".

In both cases, you're using the word "just" to clarify what something is versus what it isn't, but in the first case you are using it to specifically distinguish between two concretely stated options (i.e. red or blue) while in the second case you are using it to more ambiguously say that something is less than it could be (i.e. this could be a really cool item, but instead its something simple).

To me, the first one is stating a fact, while the second one has a negative connotation.

So, to me, the difference then is whether someone says "oh, we're just friends" and they mean "we're just friends, as opposed to being both friends and romantic partners", versus if they say "oh, we're just friends" and they mean "a romantic relationship is a much deeper connection than what we have; our relationship is less than that, we're just friends".

I'm not sure if this makes sense at all, but it's sort of how I feel about the phrase at this present moment : )

[mostly-aromantic]

This did make sense and I think you put my thoughts into words 🤣 especially with the analogies you used. Context definitely matters!

[aronear]

wait i wanna try smn. aros reblog with your opinions on frogs, archery, sunflowers, and white rings

[mostly-aromantic]

I'm always conflicted when I see a post saying anything along the lines of, "You shouldn't say 'just friends' because friendship is not worth less than romance!"

Because obviously it is true, romance and friendship are on equal grounds, or at least should be. No one should treat their platonic friends as less valuable to them as their romantic partner is.

HOWEVER, I have used the phrase "just friends" because I have needed to convey that while my partner is my friend AND my S/O, others are just my friends. It is not to say that they are only friends and do not matter as much as my parnter, but simply that my partner is 2 things to me while they are 1 thing.

Honestly, it seems to be an issue of semantics lol. Does anyone else ever think about this? I'd love to hear thoughts!

[mostly-aromantic]

Good news: These are the latest additions to my redbubble shop designs! Here are the complete collections I have uploaded so far:

If you don’t see your pride colors, don’t worry! It’s likely I’m working on it. In the meantime, it never hurts to send me a request. Visit my redbubble store today and show off your pride!

[mostly-aromantic]

UPDATE: My Redbubble has been CLOSED because I bought my own Cricut machine and moved to Etsy! You can now get my stickers for cheaper (and I'll get more of the profits, aka all of them). If the link doesn't work, my shop name is InTheDetailsUS.

I'm working on moving all my designs over, so not all of them are available yet, but they will be after I make some sales!

[clowndotorg]

If you ever date an asexual person be sure to get the specifics of their asexuality because the level of comfort with physical contact is different for all of us.

[mortallyposting-deactivated2018]

YES  THIS IS SERIOUSLY IMPORTANT 

[lvkeskvwalkers]

Also—this needs to be an ongoing conversation. Sometimes things are ok for us and sometimes they’re not. Permission once is not permission forever.

[bruhduderusrs-deactivated202406]

I M P O R T A N T AS SHIT

[mostly-aromantic]

Hopefully this doesn't come across as derailing, but this is important in all relationships, no matter how many people are involved and which of them are allosexual/asexual!

Signed, an ace/aro

[annabelle--cane]

points to a sign that says “sometimes two people from the same marginalized community will want/need two very different things from their representation in fiction and they should both be allowed to find and make that representation to suit their own needs and neither should be criticized for not making the representation that the other wants”

[annabelle--cane]

like, for example, if one trans person is dealing with hostility from their family and their own internalized transphobia and they’re comforted by seeing a trans character face those same things, then that’s fine and they should be allowed to. if another trans person finds those kinds of stories bleak and disheartening and would prefer to see a trans character with caring loved ones and who takes pride in their identity, then that’s also fine and they should be allowed to. neither of them is doing the other any harm by looking for or making the content they personally want to see.

[mostly-aromantic]

Yes! Same with an ace and/or aro person who wants a relationship and enjoys sex and romance vs an ace person who has no interest in those things and would prefer to be alone forever. Both are valid and both deserve representation!

[magical-xirl-4]

Anyway if you say that “there is no ace spectrum”, “aces are valid but not lgbt :)” or “but everyone’s demisexual!!1!” you will swiftly meet the sharp end of my blade

[volley-ball-101]

I am living proof that not everyone is Demisexual. T'would be bold of you to assume my horny ass wouldn't fuck anybody I find even somewhat attractive. Cowards

[wilburian-deactivated20221116]

man i was already gonna reblog but you made it 5 times better sjfjgkgk

[aro-mood]

did anyone else do this as a kid or was it just me

[lovely-v]

sorry not sorry but I am always going to give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to queer inclusion

Like if you say you’re bi but you’ve only dated people of the opposite gender? you’re bi as hell i don’t care.

If you tell me you’re trans but you haven’t transitioned yet or don’t want to undergo certain aspects of transitioning? you are trans! I’m gonna call you by the name and pronouns you tell me to use

what if someone looks feminine, is afab, and uses she/her pronouns but identifies as nonbinary? what if someone looks masculine, is amab, and uses he/him pronouns but identifies as nonbinary? both of those people are nonbinary because they said they are!

if you’re asexual or aromantic but you’re still hetero in the sense that you experience attraction of some sort to the opposite gender and that gender alone? you’re still a part of the community babe! Aros and aces have always been queer.

If you don’t know if you’re queer or not? you’re certainly welcome to be a part of our spaces while you figure it out!

if you don’t wanna use labels? dont! that’s it! never let anyone pressure you into labels if you’re not ready to define that part of yourself.

if you use labels/pronouns that are uncommon and/or perceived as strange? that’s your label! those are your pronouns! who am i to tell you you can’t use those words to describe yourself??

basically fuck all the debates about the nuances of this stuff. if you tell me you’re queer, you’re fucking queer. I have no right to start discourse with people about their own identities and neither does anyone else.