Hi! May I ask why you dont identify with the term queer? I'm just kinda confused, sorry
why is this like the second ask I've gotten mentioning this subject within the past 24 hours. it's been months (at least) since the last time I've actually mentioned not id'ing with that word. like genuinely is there a callout about me getting passed around lgbt discourse tumblr rn, hello? I'm not intending this response to be standoffish towards you btw, just confused why people I don't even know are suddenly so interested in this personal detail about me, a real life gaytrans person, who you don't know? also maybe it's the paranoia speaking but I get the sense this is a bait ask. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt rn, and assuming you've just genuinely never heard of anyone disliking the word before, but please understand why I don't really feel comfortable getting asked this by a complete stranger unprompted.
and to be frank it's no one's business why an lgbt person might prefer one word or dislike another. no one needs a moral reason to not identify as a label? you might as well start going up to binary trans people asking them why they don't id as agender. like, cause they aren't. lol. and I'm not queer.
but to answer your question, here's a quick history: "queer" was a word that historically (and still in the present!!!) means "weird", "strange", "eccentric", etc. basically "not quit right; a little off-putting". at one point (in the ~late 1800s) cishet people began using the word to describe feminine and gay men (who are, to them, very weird and wrong). it was used especially with reference to gay men's "sexual deviance", and alongside other 'fun' pejorative words like "fairy" and "faggot". it became a slur invented by cishet people, and used by cishet people, to describe gay people as something other, different, strange, not-like-us. as fucking WEIRD. said in the same breath as calling us faggots. and said in conjugation with homophobic harassment, oppression, hate crimes. over time, lgbt people began to reclaim and adapt it into our own slang, just like we have with similar words like fairy and faggot and etc. and in the ~1980s there was a notable movement of people reclaiming the word en masse -- because lgbt people needed power and there's a power to slur reclamation! "you think I'm fucked up and disgusting? ok, watch me!!!" is a political message with bite to it. "not gay as in happy, but queer as in FUCK YOU" was subversive and radical as hell. instead of assimilating to what pop culture wants from you, stand your ground and turn whatever terrible thing they see you as into something you're proud to be! when fighting oppressive institutions for rights and respect, why beg those oppressors to see you as a respectable "keep it in the bedroom, blend into normal crowds, never ever mention your perverse homosexuality in front of any impressionable children" kind of gay person, when you could instead DEMAND the respect you deserve not "in spite" of who you are but BECAUSE OF IT.
however the point of slur reclamation, such as described above, imho is that the slur has teeth to it. and despite modern liberal movements attempting to file down and smooth out and commercialize "queer", it was picked out for it's teeth and those teeth are still there. even if they've been shoved away under the rug for a lot of people. the slur never left cishet people's pejorative lexicons. so I get that in some areas, in lucky contexts, it genuinely does just mean "lgbt" in the most neutral sense possible. but outside these hyper-specific settings, it's still a slur. for a lot of people, it's still a slur they get called by homophobes/transphobes/etc. it's still used by cishet people, for irl harassment and irl hate crimes. and its history is still embedded into the word itself (you can't separate the word from "weird and strange" when dictionaries still define it as "weird and strange"!)
I'm not explaining to you why I, personally, as a real life femme homosexual with a job and bills to pay don't want to get called a queer by anyone.
but if you use your critical thinking skills, I'm sure you could take a fucking guess????! :)
also, on an ending note: "why don't you id with the word queer?" why would I. I have no reason to reclaim a slur that so many people want to ignore the history of, both past and present. there's hardly anything revolutionary about a word Targetâ˘'s trying to sell us on fast fashion t-shirts. if I'm gonna stab myself to prove a point, I'm not doing it while goddamn corporations cheer me on.
at least when I call myself a FAGGOT cishet people WINCE! but if I call myself a queer... they just nod their head and agree.
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