(n.) a homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places of your past.
or in which you miss your home in the forest and your mate becomes your biggest comfort in the sudden change.
your silence grew more drawn out over the course of several weeks, ears becoming permanently downturned and spaced out eyes staring out at the sea.
you desperately tried to hold yourself together, for your kids, for jake but nonetheless it was like everything you attempted to make yourself feel at home just gave you a dreadful feeling in your chest.
and your husband noticed, you could tell. no amount of smiles and laughter that escaped you could convince him that you were truly happy in the embrace of seaweed and damp sand. it created a feeling of deep regret and anguish that every time he admired you—he felt the trickle of a single tear fall.
your distance of the teal blue clan members, the hidden sniffles at night when you thought no one was awake, the refusal to get to know a way of life that wasn’t meant to be yours.
jake couldn’t bare it anymore.
it was one of those nights where your mind was racing, filled with thoughts of your out of place character in the marui, you were joyful at the fact that your kids grew accustomed over the short period of time—but with your luck, it was the complete opposite.
you stared at the ceiling, arm pressed against jake as you felt his slow breathing. you were in no state for sleep, and you were jealous at the peaceful action that consumed the others. with a soft sigh, you gently guided yourself out from your shared hammock.
the light of the moon peaking in, you followed it. the sounds of crashing waves and ilu graced your ears—even though you could admit the clan had a beautiful atmosphere, it didn’t feel like you belonged in it. it felt too foreign.
taking a seat on the reef close to the sea, your feet dug into the sand. thin shawl that wrapped around your shoulders barely protecting you from the watery winds. simple flashes of flora, of the creatures that grazed the forest, of hometree, it all came rushing to you.
too deep in thought, you didn’t notice the extra company you had until a voice broke the silence.
“lets take a ride, a long one—i left a note for the kids to see when they wake up.” looking up, you saw your husband extending a hand towards you. your furrowed brows being the only sort of questioning you did as you followed jake to bob, his ikran—with yours standing by close.
jake let no words explain, only hopping on his bonded creature and gesturing you to mount yours, to which you had no issue doing.
with a reassuring look and a flight that kicked off the sand, your husband was in the air. your hair blowing behind you as you did the same, you felt a small smile creep on you as you felt the familiarity of the moment. like when you and jake had playful races and even calming evenings as you flew your ikrans—exchanging loving glances and teasing grins.
you didn’t keep track of how long the journey was, only trusting your mate as he led you to wherever his mind destined him to be for you.
there was a moment where you had been admiring him, the way the wind let his dreaded hair fly carelessly behind him and his face being lax of all hardened expression. it was when his eyes met yours that you blinked slowly, the smile you exchanged brought you back, you finally felt ease in your chest you hadn’t experienced in the past few weeks.
recognition hit you as you traveled farther, eyes scanning the greenery that welcomed bark and petaled leaves. a sudden excitement exploded in your chest, teeth showing as your mouth opened in awe.
it was quick when you hit the ground, your hurriedness speeding your movements as you were embraced by your familiar surroundings.
an excited squeak left you, hurriedly jumping off your ikran and sprinting towards the trees. jake slowly following as he examined your movement. plopping down on the terrain, you could feel your chest warm. your mouth beginning to hurt with how large your smile was.
you laughed aloud as the deep shade of green grass smoothly dug into your skin. arms spread at the relief of feeling the missed textures, you sighed as your hand grabbed a solid chunk of the soil.
jake only watched, standing feet away as a small smile graced his features. yet, his eyes held a more subtle expression—sadness. from what he took from you, that because of him that he ripped you from your home.
“you okay, ma jake?”
“yeah, baby. just admiring you.” he gazed as you leaned on your elbow, hand softly petting the ground. you hummed, turning your body to face him. “come sit.”
and so, he did. slightly groaning at the ache in his knees, he sat with his legs crossed and hands resting over his thighs. it was a small moment of quiet until he spoke.
“i’m sorry, for taking you away from this. away from your happiness.” he whispered, eyes avoiding yours as they stared into his lap.
cocking your head to the side, you sat up slowly at his sudden confession. “you are my happiness, i may be sad about being away from the forest but my home will always be with you. you are my mate, jake sully. i will always be at home with you.”
a hand came to rub against his cheek, thumb wiping the collapsed wet liquid that fell from him. another hand going to trace the white luminescent freckles that intricately formed a pattern on his chest. “i know you did it to protect us, i know you had no other choice and so i appreciate that and our kids do too.”
you held his stare as you felt him nod in your hold, a relaxed quirk of your lips arose. “thank you for bringing me out here, i couldn’t have asked for a better night together.”
“of course, baby. i would do anything and everything for you.”
the next evening whenever you returned back to awa’atlu, it was visibly obvious of the change that displayed with your relaxed posture and more soft attitude. more smiles and laughter as you landed, conversing with the local metkayina women as you weaved baskets by their side.
and it certainly fascinated your children.
“her and dad had a pretty eventful night, huh?” lo’ak smirked, observing your aura as it brightened around you. his expression quickly changing as neteyam clocked him in the shoulder with a harsh shove.
“don’t mention their romantic life like that, it’s weird!”
there was a silence until lo’ak piped up again. “y’know it’s true, bro.”
ever since jake sully had accustomed himself with the omatikayan people, you noticed the prolonged amount of time that neytiri had been spending with him. even though you knew it was strictly platonic, you couldn’t help but have your doubts.
you huffed, watching as neytiri’s fingers traveled up jake’s arm to correct his posture. the inkling of jealousy that dwelled in your chest was one foreign to you, you weren’t one to get jealous easily but there was something about this jakesully that sparked the ugly emotion in you.
tsu’tey smirked lightly from beside you, amused by the harsh glare you sent towards the dreamwalker. he was the only one who encouraged the one sided rivalry you had with the newcomer, not liking him much himself.
deep down, you knew neytiri loved you dearly and would never do anything to hurt your feelings but the angst that filled you whenever you saw the duo together—it made your heart throb in the way you knew would hurt you most. the thought of losing her.
so deeply unraveled in your mind, you didn’t take notice of said woman strutting towards you. hips swaying with her chest leaned forward, braids traveling in the wind with her fluid movement.
“hello, paskalin.” neytiri fondly addressed, a hand wrapping around your wrist as she guided it to her heart.
“hi, neytiri.” you beamed at her, the sight of her wide eyes and affectionate smile that she reserved for you makes all the worries you burdened fade away. from the corner of your eye, you see jake watching. you couldn’t make full comprehension of his expression, but you seen the way his eyes flickered between you and neytiri.
gripping her in a more solid hold, you pressed a soft kiss to the apple of her cheek. making sure to give jake a passive glance after the intimate action, his cluelessness made you internally scoff as he just offered a friendly grin.
neytiri didn’t take notice, just reveling in the affection you showed her before she took your hand and brung you to a more secluded part of the forest where you could have your own time spent together.
yet your mind couldn’t help but race about the certain dreamwalker. he was always with neytiri, touches lingering, stares holding longer than a comfortable second. you were sure there had to a feeling between them, one not very platonic.
the na’vi could sense your wondering train of thought, the lack of focus you attended towards her and the slight haziness that glazed over your eyes. she had glanced at you curiously, silky hair falling over her shoulder at the movement. “is something on your mind, ma yawntu?”
“no, no i’m okay—trust me.” you internally cringed at the lie, you despised lying to neytiri but the embarrassment of even being jealous of her relationship with jake made you refrain from confining in her about your doubts.
after that, you really did try and hold in your feelings. seeing them, seeing neytiri smile at him like he was one with your people, like he wasn’t a tainted being that was unnatural to the soil you were birthed on—what he was alien too.
it took a bit for her to even confess her admiration to you, yet with jake their relationship seemed to have a natural flow. it made you sick at the mere concept of the thought.
yet, you knew you were one to wear your heart on your sleeve. so it didn’t take long before neytiri came to you demanding answers.
“i thought you told me to trust you?” she questioned, barging into your shared kelku with her arms crossed and tail flickering wildly. you hummed in confusion, setting the weaved basket onto the ground and rose to meet her level.
“what are you talking about?” you asked, bringing a hand to meet her shoulder. she didn’t have the heart to brush it off though, even in her upset state.
“tsu’tey told me about your thing with jake sully. how jealous you are of him, how we are together. how come you didn’t tell me any of this?” she begged, eyes glancing between yours as if she was trying to dig deeper into your mind—to truly see what had allowed you to think in the reasoning you did.
“it’s stupid—“
“no. it worries you, i won’t let you stupidly think of make believe situations, of nonsense. you have to speak.”
you were scared of neytiri and what she could do, now that was no secret.
sighing, you gestured your head to the cot you both lied in at dark. taking the lead, she sat—yet there was no calmness in her movement. she still gazed at you with expectation, of demand. “go on.”
“i watched, of all your interactions with jake sully, how you two are together. to me, this sounds dramatic but—i truly cannot handle it. seeing you with someone else, so attentively and so close. i can’t deny that it doesn’t make my heart burn a little. just imagining you leaving me for him—“
she cut you off. “i would never, yawne. you are my mate, you are mine for life. let me show you, please.” she extended her kuru to you, large gaze almost pleading you to see her truth. “i can’t handle having you think this way, of you being so distant.”
you let your fingers gently find the base of your braid, bringing it forward to let the vulnerable appendage connect to hers. the purple glow shining on your faces as you closed your eyes. a deep breath escaping you at the intensity of the neural bond.
you felt it, her devotion to you. the peak of her joy whenever she had officially claimed you as hers, the way her eyes would soften whenever she had just heard the mention of your name and how her heart beat would quicken like a little na’vi who had experienced her first crush.
“do you see? truly see?” neytiri whispered, letting her body shift closer to you. her warmth bringing a comfort that only she could give you.
“i’m sorry, for troubling you, for being so immature and ignorant. i promise that if i ever think of anymore idiotic things i will come to you.” the apology made her hum, fortunately the exasperation she had experienced dimmed. replaced with a satisfied smile and teasing gaze at how deep your possessiveness ran.
“maybe we just need to work on your jealousy, huh ma txe’lan?”
after all you had been through, you just needed the comfort of your father.
you stared at the white paint that traveled down your forehead, the ripples in the water distorting the image. your body feeling cold and empty, being that way since his death.
you didn’t feel the same after that incident, no one in your family did. slowing starting to grow distant, your mother becoming withdrawn and your father working himself harder and harder and driving lo’ak to do the same.
it pained you, being that your family was your biggest outlet to your comfort. especially in a place far from the forest, from your home—in an environment where your limbs held no adaption to, it was enough to make you feel more isolated.
you had no sources of comfort, your brother being too busy with tsireya, kiri trying to console her own problems and tuk was just a kid. your mother grieved in a way that pained you enough to not want to delve deep into the topic with her.
but your mind felt like it was constantly in survival mode, thinking that anytime you would be placed in the same predicament your eldest brother was. it created a deep sense of anxiety in you, one that was too troubling to ignore.
hands trembling slightly, you breathed out. you could feel your chest start to inhale rapidly. knowing what was about to occur, you knew you couldn’t handle the pressure by yourself. so, there was only one thing you could do.
limbs shaky as they walked closer to your marui, you saw your father crouched as he huddled close to his metal weapon, a cloth cleaning the base to ensure of its upkeep. as you watched, it was only a small amount of time until he noticed he wasn’t alone.
as he looked up at you, figure slumped and lips possessing into a deep frown—you saw his eyebrows furrow and his figure stand tall in alarm. before he was able to ask any questions, you choked out like a small child.
“daddy.” you whispered, bottom lip quivering as tears pricked the outer corner of your eyes. from the blurry view, you saw him mentally crumble, arms opening as a invitation to be held in his embrace.
“my baby girl, c’mere.”
your head bumped right against his chest, arms snaking around his waist as your hands intertwined tight behind him. soft cries you tried to contain choking out louder. “it hurts, my heart hurts.”
“i know, sweetheart. i know.” all jake could see was the little girl who would demand to sleep burried right into his armpit, who would cry at the thought of even being separated from him. jake felt his own chest shakily exhale at the memories.
his hand coming up to rub at the base of your head, small shushes escaping him as he felt you shake harder in his hold.
“i miss home, i miss neteyam, i miss how our family was.” your confession brought him to let go, reaching to hold your cheeks in his palms.
“we are strong, our family is just in mourning, but we will always be there for one another—you got that, baby girl? and if you ever want to go back go the forest, i’ll take you there in a heartbeat and if you ever want to see neteyam—just say the word.” he softly uttered, eyes downturned to stare into yours. quiet huffs left you as you observed the heartbroken expression on your father’s face, even if he tried hard to conceal it.
sniffling, you nodded. looking down to curl your head into his chest once more. what you didn’t see, was your mother staring at the scene—eyes glossy and mouth quirked down. your father looked back, blinking slowly and mouthing reassurance. “i got it.”
“lets sit.” jake guided you onto the floor, still holding you up as your body started to turn limp in his hold. he could sense the drowsiness that came from all your tears, tail slowly flickering as it started to curl against his. “you can sleep, baby girl. i won’t let anything bad happen to you. that’s a promise.”
“i love you, daddy.” you mumbled, words starting to slur as you dozed off into his embrace. feeling safe in the arms of your biggest protector.
𓇼 mangkwan!jake who worships the ground you walk on, will absolutely kill anyone who looks at you in any type of way that doesn’t sit right with him.
𓇼 mangkwan!jake doesn’t take lightly to you disobeying him though, even if he adores you with every ounce of his body—he still will discipline you if you get snarky with him.
𓇼 does have kurus wrapped around him like decoration and will threaten anyone who laid a finger on you with the same fate.
𓇼 loves having a hand on you at all times, and if there’s an instance in which he couldn’t, his tail would be around your leg in a tight grip.
𓇼 mangkwan!jake loves feeding you the meat he prepared, he wouldn’t tell you where it came from, or who it came from though. “eat baby girl, don’t upset me now. i hunted it just for you.”
𓇼 mangkwan!jake showing off the shiny metal weapons he acquired from the pink skins but never letting you touch.
𓇼 yes, he did kidnap you from another clan and yes, he did hold you hostage in his tent filled with hanging skinned na’vi and several creatures until you learned to obey him and eventually love him.
𓇼 the prime definition of stockholme syndrome.
𓇼 will thoughtfully paint you with the colors that matched his clan, dark reds and black stripes—ash that lightened your complexion naturally blending you in.
𓇼 mangkwan!jake will let you decorate your shared kelku with your own small touches, not enough to where it overshadowed his work but enough to make you feel slightly more comfortable.
𓇼 will force the finest weavers in your clan to make you the most intricate headpiece and loincloth that made you stand out, to show that you were his mate, to brag.
𓇼 mangkwan!jake will make sure there is someone that watches you at all times when he is not present, mostly being tsu’tey or neytiri—who you can be closest with in the clan without mangkwan!jake getting extremely jealous and homicidal.
𓇼 he convinces you he does it to make sure you’re safe without his presence, totally…
𓇼 mangkwan!jake still becomes toruk makto, which contributes to the immense fear the na’vi people have for him.
𓇼 will let you ride and caress toruk, and there is no sense of danger that comes from the creature as the two share a bond that also includes mangkwan!jake’s admiration for you
𓇼 mangkwan!jake lets you keep the ikran that you bonded with, yet you couldn’t ride it without his supervision. mangkwan!jake wasn’t cruel enough to get rid of the animal, not one that meant so much to you.
𓇼 mangkwan!jake forms tsaheylu with you on a daily basis, making sure he knew the feelings that you experienced, and that there was no thoughts of you escaping the clan and faking your love for him.
𓇼 the act of the bonding connection didn’t mean much to mangkwan!jake since he held no respect for eywa and her flora that took over pandora. he mostly used it to intimidate other na’vi and threaten them with the very thing that helped them connect to their “true mother”.
𓇼 mangkwan!jake will absolutely make sure your worshipping to eywa was put to a complete stop, repeatedly drilling in your mind that he was the only deity you needed to be spiritually connected to.
𓇼 and soon enough, you eventually do believe it too.
jake had admired you countlessly in the time he known you, hopelessly entranced by every inch of detail that you had to offer. the days where he could show you his devotion were his favorite.
content warning. soft smut, mdni
jake breathed through a moan, watching as his hand traveled over the soft dip in your side. your naked bodies pressed up against each other in the solitude of your isolated kelku. it was one of those nights where jake couldn’t resist the temptation of your ethereal being.
he knew he was a whipped man, he had no shame in that.
limbs tangled together, breaths hot as your lips collided with shared tongue. your hand tracing circles on his back as the other one tangled in the locks of his braided hair.
his knee pressing close against the heat that resided between your legs, his lips locking between yours in a soft yet heated embrace. you couldn’t help but whimper out his name in a moment of vulnerability. “jake, please.”
“please what, baby girl?” he answered, departing from your lips as his hooded eyes stared into yours. speaking of it, the cloudiness of your hormone danced throughout your pupils. blown out the widest he had ever seen them.
“hold my hand.” the desperation in your innocent request made his mind spiral, if only you had known how every little thing you did and say absolutely drove him crazy—from the smallest hum, to the loudest moan.
“of course, my lovely girl.” five fingers intertwining with your four, he placed a soft delicate kiss on the backside of your hand—mouth trailing up til they reached the dip of your collarbones.
the connection of your tendrils made the experience all the more intimate, your bodies feeling the same euphoric sensations and emotions molding into one as the bond drew you closer together spiritually.
as if jake could sense the beginning of your body language growing more sluggish, the hours of you sharing your infatuation with each other finally catching up to you—he gently led you to lie on his chest to hear the beat of his heart. something he knew you enjoyed listening too, with his voice being a very close contender.
there was only admiration in the way he observed you, your exposed figure being an absolute work of art that he was convinced eywa carefully handcrafted herself. truly being a dream come true for him.
𓇼 jake tried REALLY hard to begin courting you at first, he struggled a bit but he did eventually secure you.
𓇼 it’s not like you didn’t like him, you were just worried about his intentions as a dreamwalker especially after the incident.
𓇼 but once you guys were together, it was such a seamless relationship.
𓇼 he was still so attentive with you even after his severely busy schedule in the clan.
𓇼 he would BEG you to hang out with him.
𓇼 quite literally would stare at you with those big puppy eyes and WHINE if you didn’t give him the attention he so desperately required.
𓇼 words of affirmation is definitely his love language
𓇼 “you’re doing so good, baby.”
𓇼 “you’re more beautiful than i could ever imagine.”
𓇼 “i don’t know how i got so lucky, punch me?”
𓇼 “you’re proud of me, right sweetheart?”
𓇼 will let you ride on toruk, with their shared mutual respect for one another, the big creature became fond of you as well.
𓇼 there were many times when you noticed jake staring at you whilst you were trying to talk to him—like he couldn’t have been more obvious
𓇼 literally like ‘blah blah blah, proper name, place name, backstory stuff’ now lemme take you to our kelku already
𓇼 he is so very protective, in battle, and even in your regular cycles of the sun. if ANY and i mean absolutely ANY clan member stared at you too hard, jake would be so quick to pull you away and glare at them. maybe even trail his hand down your lower back to make them get the message
𓇼 don’t even think about getting hurt, jake would probably have a heart attack, like seriously
𓇼 even if it was only a small cut jake would be right on top of you worrying like a scared mother
𓇼 like damn bro would you relax for ONE SECOND it was only a papercut
𓇼 jake is so warm, which was so helpful on colder nights whenever you two snuggled up and his heat radiated off of him. no need for a blanket.
𓇼 it’s very rare if jake ever gets upset at you, it would most likely be if you ever did something so reckless it could’ve gotten you killed
𓇼 he will take your side, even if you were wrong (which is never)
𓇼 he has you on his songcord, specifically whenever he first discovered his love for you. it was a very significant moment for him, even more than when he became toruk makto.
𓇼 dreams everyday of having a family with you, imagining little you’s running around makes him so impatient every single day until the time does arrive
𓇼 compliments you everyday, i mean every day.
𓇼 he will absolutely put you before everyone else, even himself
𓇼 whenever you performed tsaheylu, jake almost cried. he would’ve never imagined becoming so integrated with the omatikayan people, let alone creating a bond so pure with someone as special as you
𓇼 some nights he thanked eywa for viperwolves almost killing him, because if not—he would’ve never been blessed with meeting you.
lo’ak had a very close familiarity with the nickname he accustomed everyone too, whilst you weren’t so fond of it as he managed to call everyone and their mothers it—it only really started becoming a problem when he involved you in on it too.
“bro, look at this.”
“you will not believe this, bro.”
“i love you, bro.”
lo’ak loved that word, he said it at least a thousand times a day. to absolutely anyone, his siblings, spider, to other clan members, to even his father. it was like his signature, you didn’t have a problem with it—until he started calling you it as well.
at first, you simply ignored it. figuring that he wasn’t used to having a girlfriend yet and was still treating you like he did before you had courted each other but then, after several months—the name still existed in your conversations.
you didn’t truly have the heart to tell him to stop however, you didn’t want him to think that you were trying to stop his use of the word—even though it was annoying at times.
yeah, that thought didn’t last long. you needed to confront him about it.
“but it’s romantic!”
“you call spider bro.”
there was a pause.
“when i say it to you, it is!”
you only rolled your eyes, looking to the side. you weren’t truly mad, but it didn’t hurt to let lo’ak think you were. he pouted slightly, bringing an arm to wrap around your waist as he tried to meet your eyes. “i’ll stop saying it if you want. i promise.”
the submission in his voice forced you to break your attitude, as your eyes met his, lo’ak furrowed his brows at you. a small smile broke through your demeanor. “i’m not mad at you, skxawng. it’s fine, just lay off it a little bit. how about calling me cute nicknames instead? y’know like actual mates do?”
“you got it, baby!” he beamed, leaning closer to you and placing a wet kiss on the apple of your cheek. you recoiled back, placing a hand on his face to block his attempts at continuing to terrorize your face.
you were proud being the eldest daughter of the sully family, even though it came with its hardships and sacrifices, you knew the love from your family was enough to keep you going. you realized that type of naivety was funny, for sure.
content warning. death
your relationship with your father started off as the sweetest thing, being the first born daughter—jake sully was nervous to be a dad yet delighted, filled with emotion that held serious attachment and devotion. you remember all the times where he held you, stroked your hair whilst telling you stories about his involvement with the omatikayan people. his need to be around you, his desire to show that he was a good dad.
until, it started to change—not a rapid one, it was slow. he realized the life he lived, the danger he was in that could creep up on him at any second. his past with the rda, it was a trauma that he didn’t want breaking his family up.
he stopped cradling you every second of the day, stopped treating you like a fragile delicacy that was apart of him, and more like a tough soldier. one he cared for.
he encouraged more training, forced you to watch as he hunted and shot arrows that delve deep in eywa’s creatures. told you about the dangers that resided in the forest, made sure you knew that you had to protect your siblings as well as yourself. that no weakness was allowed.
it didn’t occur to you the shift of attitude when you observed the way he interacted with kiri and tuk. treating them like his little girls, protecting them from the world, making sure they knew he would be there for them no matter what.
you watched one day as kiri was weaving a top out of vines and thick leaves, your father watching from nearby with a soft smile before eventually getting up to sit by her and pat her softly on the head.
you then watched as he made direct eye contact with you, eyes hardening and motioning to the bow that rested by your side. “go train with your brother, kid.”
you always responded with an “okay.”
there was never any protest on your end. not an eye roll, not even an ounce of hesitation. he was your father after all, you knew to listen to him. there was no point in doing otherwise.
you grew to think of things differently as you grew older, your mind maturing and thoughts being made without the influence of your parents. your own thoughts.
your father grew to be a tough shell, wanting nothing more than to make his oldest children be the protectors of the family. to claim their role as next in line of succession, to be a good example of the clan. yet, it all came with a price.
“you can’t focus on things like that, you have to suck it up. in battle, when things go wrong, you can’t hold anyone back. you have to concur through.” jake told you in an almost scolding tone, watching as mo’at, your grandmother rubbed some healing herbs on your shoulder—where a large gash resided.
“yes, sir.” was your only response.
the very next day, kiri had cut herself whilst tripping over a stump blocked by the heavy greenery of the forest. the same man, instead of scolding her and telling her to suck it up, soothed her and urged her to keep still as he tended to her shallow wounds—despite her repeated protest.
you couldn’t deny the hurt heavy in your heart.
“did you ever notice how different dad is with us?” you asked, looking up from sharpening your bone carved weapon. neteyam hummed, tilting his head slightly.
“what do you mean?”
“y’know, how he’s so soft with kiri and tuk, how he’s so hard on us?“
“i mean sure, but we’re the oldest. it’s expected.”
“i guess.”
that was the end of that conversation, yet it wasn’t the end of you noticing that you were right. he was different, and it grew more noticeable as the years went on.
instead of feeling like a daughter, his child, you felt like just another one of his soldiers. there was no affection in his tone nor his actions, he didn’t look at you with the softness that he did with his other daughters. he looked at you with a hardened expectation, that you be strong, emotionally and physically. that if he coddled you, loved you too easy, there would be a weakness that would hinder you incapable.
“why didn’t you do better at preventing this? you’re supposed to be the responsible one!” you flinched, eyes watering slightly as the rise of tone from jake grew louder. tuk shivering slightly into your mother’s side at the previous turn of events you all got wrapped up into. your head bowed to avoid his eyes, because you knew if you stared into his orbs filled with anger and disappointment—it would become a more emotional moment on your part.
and it didn’t get any better whenever you had to pack up your life and settle down into an entirely different environment. if anything, it got worst.
the stress that absorbed your family was critical, the new ways of life you had no other choice but to adapt too. the endless teasing of skinny limbs and unfit anatomy, it was all too much. even with the threat of the rda, of miles quaritch, there was no sense of protection that your father displayed over you. it was only over his two youngest girls.
some days were better than others though, he would give you a soft smile, a quick glance or nod of acknowledgment. that was enough to solidify that he still loved you deep down, even if his actions showed otherwise.
your days of relaxation came rare, but when they did arrive. you knew not to interact with your father, that he would try and demand something of you and with your utter desire to please him—he would succeed. even though his relationship with you was strained, he was still your dad. your role model, your first platonic love.
as your days with him were silenced, you didn’t realize they were numbered as well.
you grunted as your arm pulled back to release the arrow, it diving deep into the skull of a sky person. their body falling limp, your eyes fell on a ship where you saw your siblings try and fight off the demons that pointed their metal plated weapons. still positioned in the air, your movements sped.
arrow after arrow, hit after hit. you felt a deep sense of success at the goal of protecting your family, making your father proud. as your eyes focused, you saw neteyam, spider and loak attempt to jump off the side of the ship. from the corner, a certain dreamwalker pointed their gun—aiming directly at them. before the chance could arise, your elbow rose and their weapon dropped. the boys escaping safely.
you, not so much.
your hit wasn’t fatal, your presence was known.
your body was hit with the fate of a bullet, and as your conscience fell so did your body.
no one noticed.
but it was over, at least for the time being. no one was fatally injured. at least no one that surrounded in the moment.
“where’s your sister?” jake asked lo’ak, yet the boy only shrugged. cursing under his breath, he sighed heavily—mounting his ikran despite the protest of neytiri before searching the seas from the skies perspective. as his eyes traveled from the destruction, they squinted as they observed a body sprawled on a rock. limbs limp, and a dark liquid highlighting the surface. the size of an ikran sitting nearby, staring.
“no.” jake whispered, his body controlling the ikran as it dived. the lone ikran letting out a distressed call, as it positioned his head over the body. it was all too familiar to the man, the same body he watched grow up. the familiar bow that laid to position itself beside you, your only source of protection.
“baby girl.” his voice trembled, yet there was a sense of denial—hardness still coating his tone. “come on, you gotta wake up for me.”
as he kneeled beside your body, stiff and cold, it was obvious that you laid like this for hours. no one to catch you, no one to witness your final moments.
“wake up, baby girl. you’re strong.” he repeated his affirmation, yet this time it was for a different reason and with less toughness.
eyes dull, still open. blankly looking to the side, a single tear threatening to spill out the corner. face a pale blue, no rise of your chest nor twitch of your finger. it only solidified what jake had feared, his biggest fear.
“please, no. come back to me, please.” his desperation towards you was foreign to the tongue, yet it brought back the memories of when he watched you as a young na’vi. looking up at him with admiration, demanding his attention, leaning into him whenever he cradled you.
moments so similar now, still leaning in. just with more resistance to hold up your dead weight body, jake desperately wringing his fingers in your hair as he rocked back and forth.
there was a certain body part of jake’s that you couldn’t stop wondering about ever since he started seeking uturu with your people, even as you grew closer and became something deeper than just friends—it still drew you in. his biceps.
content warning. slightly suggestive 16+
you couldn’t help it, your eyes drifting to the subtle bulge on his arm whenever he slightly flexed in a certain way nor the obvious one when he did a more demanding task. you felt your fingers move to rub the side of your mouth to make sure there was no drool threatening to come out.
even though your relationship with jake was more than friendly, spending time in the dark blue of night whilst listening to the reef splash and occasionally sharing a sentimental peck or two—you still felt nervous sometimes expressing desire for him.
you knew he wasn’t though, with the private rub of your inner thigh and backside. while jake was considered a foreigner to the na’vi people, he wasn’t one when it came to displaying affection.
and he was pretty good at observation as well.
so the topic obviously came up whenever he noticed your countless staring. “got something you wanna mention, baby?”
“huh—what?” it felt hilarious that you had to draw your eyes away from the problem whenever he spoke up to you.
“i’m not oblivious, sweetheart. i noticed, what is this fascination about my arms?” he chuckled at the rapid shaking of your head, the attempt at denial was cute to him. even with his older aged body, he felt insecure at times that he didn’t have the same slim figure he used to. so, the fact that there was any desire for the body he matured into, gave him a push of confidence.
you sighed, there was no point in denying the obvious. your body felt like it was on fire, flushed with purple and mind racing at the embarrassment you had put yourself in. jake had also noticed that.
“don’t be embarrassed, i find it flattering. very much so.”
“i think they’re nice, especially when you flex.” your sudden confession blurted out, you could tell he was surprised by it too. you buried your face in your hands, he just laughed as he pried them away, bringing one to rest on his upper arm. his other, going to touch the small of your waist.
“y’know, there’s things about you i can’t help but stare at as well.” his hand trickled up to the swell of your chest, fingers intertwining with the seaweed that covered the area. “let me show you.”
times when jake displayed casual domestic actions towards you and the one time you did.
𓇼 the first time jake had shown casual dominance was during a communal gathering, you had been exhausted, your joints ached and head pounded—it was clear that you weren’t in the most joyful mood.
𓇼 jake most specifically noticed, so he prepared a wrapping of hunted meat and greens for you. he didn’t even mention it as he set it right beside you on the log you sat at. giving your thigh a subtle brush as he walked past to join the other hunters.
𓇼 the very next time he sees you trying to blow loose strands of hair out your face as you try and strike an arrow into a target onto an already abused tree.
𓇼 it was sudden when you felt the breeze of wind on your neck as jake tied your hair out of the way. it was so casual that your small saying of gratitude only was met with a nod.
𓇼 small touches, jake guiding your arms softly as you held a bow, him cutting up your meat when it was too large, him bringing you water when he notices your breathing was a bit too heavy, him fixing the strap of your top once it falls off your shoulder.
𓇼 it kept on, small acts of kindness and the simple act of being noticed was enough to get you thinking. yes, you were close with jake but it grew into something more. it was a slow transition yet you weren’t defiant of the idea.
𓇼 even though you weren’t one to display your feelings on the forefront, you wanted to reciprocate jake’s.
𓇼 so you did.
𓇼 it was just another random day when you and jake had found yourselves together once again, it was like eywa always made sure you found each other.
𓇼 you didn’t realize you were watching him in his act until he lifted his eyes to meet yours and sent you a soft smile.
𓇼 you felt your stomach ache, but in a good way.
𓇼 you watched as he mindlessly sharpened his knives, bones wrapped in leather straps to keep the makeshift weapon together. he had been at it all day, not an ounce of food in his system, nor a wink of sleep.
𓇼 sighing, you headed to your kelku, realizing you had leftovers from the last meal you ate. whilst your feelings for him grew, the need to make sure he was in good condition had overcome you.
𓇼 jake hadn’t noticed when you came back, too occupied with his task that the sound of your throat clearing had finally gained his attention.
𓇼 you could tell he was surprised by the neatly arranged wrap that held the nourishment he needed outstretched in your hand towards him. “for me?”
𓇼 “yes, take it.” your tone held no room for argument.
𓇼 “thanks, sweetheart.” when he reached to retrieve it from you, it felt purposeful when his hand brushed lightly against yours and the shit eating grin he gave you caused a faint blush of purple to invade your face.
when you and arisu have no other choice but to run from a wandering sniper, you both have to manage with the loss of the beach—no food provided, no warm beds, the only thing you had was each other and your lingering memories.
you didn’t like this, any of it.
not the constant running, not the desperate scavenge for something decent enough to satisfy your hunger. certainly not the fact there was a chance you could die at any moment, yet the only thing that kept pushing you was him.
arisu.
he was your only source of stability in the borderlands, the only thing that held you down whenever you felt yourself slipping off the deep end.
it didn’t help that you managed to develop feelings for him along the way. he was selfless, always making sure you were okay, he was smart. his intelligence had saved your ass in a couple of games, deep in your heart you felt like you owed him your life.
you knew he would protest that thought.
there wasn’t much stock in the abandoned grocery mart you had encountered, arisu browsing in a separate aisle as you had carefully plucked non-expired goods from the shelves. the basket you cradled only holding four cans of chicken broth.
once you both reunited at the fridge that held a small selection of drinks, your shoulders touched briefly. you sighed softly, body sagging as arisu glanced at you. “what’s wrong?”
“i’m so exhausted, my legs are killing me.” eyes weakly looking up at him, he frowned nodding his head towards the ground.
“wanna sit?” at your nod, he placed down the items he held in his arms, you doing the same as you both sat on the cold tiled floor. a deep exhale escaping you as your legs felt a brief ease.
the comfortable silence that surrounded you two felt comforting, even through all the anguish that you had endured. a sudden laugh had escaped you, making arisu peer at you in slight confusion.
“i can’t believe i’m about to tell you this, but i can’t believe you never noticed that i had a crush on karube.” your laughter grew louder at his shocked expression, eyebrows raised and eyes wide.
“y-you? you had a crush on karube?” sputtering through his words, your hand fell on his thigh as he had glanced curiously—surprise not being hidden in the slightest.
“unfortunately, it started in high school. whenever i first became friends with you guys, god it was so long ago.” you shook your head, memories flushing in your mind at the dumb feelings your younger self had.
“did you ever stop?” you couldn’t quite place the tone at which he had asked, the edge in his words making you grow a little suspicious. it almost sounded like jealousy.
“oh yeah, i had realized he just wasn’t my type, y’know. too bold, too eager to get in a fight. he was an amazing friend, though.” you listed, yet the mischievous side in you had sparked. wanting to test the emotions that arisu showcased, you leaned in closer to him. “i realized i was more into smart guys, ones that were into video games like i was, guys that had no problem being nice to me without thinking it would ruin their masculinity.”
the obliviousness in his eyes made yours roll, not wanting to reveal your intentions just yet. you kept on. “i liked the more messy type, baggy clothes, messy hair—specifically black. a guy that would stay with me through tough times, and be loyal. does that sound familiar to you in anyway, arisu?”
“i-i’m not sure.” you could tell he was putting the pieces together, even though he was smart, he wasn’t in the love department. it took him longer to process things like that, you had noticed whenever girls would express their interest in him—he wouldn’t realize unless they were trying to physically make it aware.
“arisu, c’mon.” you pleaded, staring into his dark eyes as realization dawned on him.
“me?” a nervous chuckle erupted from his chest, at your slow agreement he glanced down at his lap. once he met your eyes once again, it was as if time slowed. the borderlands becoming distant in your mind as you gazed at each other, the inching being uncommented upon until your lips met.
the slow locking and release had your eyelids closed in euphoria, you didn’t think the moment would have ever occurred. you were brought back to your senses when you felt a brush of a hand along the back of your head. seeing arisu give you a side smile, you cursed under your breath before you leaned in once more.
the passion that radiated off the two of you, it was if you were making up for all the lost time. when you pulled away, a string of saliva still connected you.
you felt a ting of hope in your chest, maybe arisu truly was the answer for you to make it through this hell.
whenever you and jake were first accepted into the omatikaya clan, you didn’t expect to gain closeness with the olo’eyktan’s daughter of all na’vi. what started as an involuntary relationship, turned into something a bit more meaningful.
300 followers celebration fic! ꩜
you hissed at the sharp smack that neytiri left on the backside of your head, from beside you, jake let out an amused scoff. his entertainment to your beatings made irritation dwell in your facial expression.
“shut up, jake. you’re not doing any better.” you contorted, jerking yourself away from neytiri’s disapproving gaze as you straightened out your posture. bow held tightly in your hands as you tried to aim directly at the target that was set up.
the silent pressure that was seeping out of the environment made you waver slightly, yet as neytiri and jake watched you—there was an itching in your brain that told you that you couldn’t mess this up.
you had a deep urge to impress them.
it was as if your mind possessed you, letting go of the arrow and striking perfectly. you looked to see their reaction, neytiri giving you an approving smile with soft eyes and jake patting your shoulder with a lingering touch.
you had grinned at the passing memory. it wasn’t clear to you the obvious fondess you held for the duo but now they were all you thought about. it was sickening, but in a sweet way.
you had grown customed to the omatikayan people, going through your rite of passage by taming an ikran who you considered your true companion. you had named her grace, after your mentor and who became a mother figure to you in your times of being an xenobotanist alongside her.
leaning against the large creature, your hand brushed against her skin. tints of both cool and warm tones, purples and shades of yellow decorating her body. it was a sound in the distance that your attention was brought elsewhere.
the sight of your two favorite people made a small smile appear on your face, neytiri dragging jake along by the arm as he beaming sickeningly at you. eyes full of wonder and bodies radiating hints of affection with the way they subtly leaned against each other as they took a step in front of you.
you couldn’t deny the hint of jealousy at the lack of touch from them, but it quickly diminished as neytiri let a hand softly trace the arm that rested on your ikran. “what brung you guys here?”
jake shrugged, petting your companion as she shut her eyes—clearly enjoying the attention. “we just got finished catching some meat for the feast tonight, decided to come see what you were up too.”
“mmm, how sweet.” you hummed, trying not to let the excitement that brewed in you at their presence be made clear to them. you all fell into a state of comfortable silence, letting the winds speak as they danced around you.
the brush of your tails made your heart race as you only wondered if they had felt it too. the closeness of your kurus made you yearn for that connection.
that was the only thing haunting your mind until the feast that had taken place the same evening.
you watched as neytiri swayed her hips to the vocals the clan had harmonized with. several other na’vi around her joining as the sounds performed beautifully. on your right, jake had also kept an eye on the woman—yet, his hands brushed against yours in ways that were more than just a mere accident. his shoulder making contact with yours on occasion.
you had glanced up at him for a brief moment that you didn’t notice neytiri sauntering closer with an expecting arm reaching out to you, an invitation to join her. shaking your head in protest, it was no use as she tugged you closer and as jake nugded you forward slightly.
protest caught in your throat as neytiri gripped your hands with her differing limbs, body moving in a way that was similar to liquid. pure tranquility written on her face, hands that were still holding yours wavering with the melody that filled the air. you could only watch, body frozen.
her encouraging smile led you to slightly sway your body to match her movement, feet picking up off the ground stiffly. you felt a soft prod and turned your head to see jake shimmying his shoulders a couple seconds off beat. grimacing at his display of very bad dancing, you felt the pressure taken off you a bit. loosening your posture, you watched the na’vi woman shut her eyes and wave her arms in the air as if she was connecting to eywa in the currents of the wind.
you didn’t know if it was the temperature or your emotions that caused your body to start heating up. cheeks flaring a soft purple as you watched your friends join each others sides in a more slower rhythm. neytiri’s hips moving in way that caught your breath, and jake’s back muscles bringing a small amount of blood rushing to your head.
it was sudden when neytiri took a hold of both yours and jake’s hands as she ushered you deeper into the forest—away from the crowdedness of hometree. laughter escaping her mouth as you all leaped over large roots and shielded from leaves bigger than your own bodies.
soon, you had felt a chuckle leave you—the adrenaline letting your mind feel a sense of wonder. you felt like a kid again, the worries of the rda slipping from your mind, the fact that your human body was lying in an insulation tube in a lab. it didn’t pierce your thoughts in the moment. not like it usually did.
you all stopped under a secluded bioluminescent tree, glowing veins traveling through the ground as leaves dripped water that the sky had blessed you with the day before. chests heaving, smiles was exchanged between your trio.
letting your back fall against the bark, jake had joined your side. his shoulder beside you as his head lolled forward, trying to catch his breath. neytiri seemed unaffected, glancing between the two of you with a fang showing smile.
“you seem happy.” jake pointed out, head finally lifted as he examined her. eyes holding a certain fondness, one that you didn’t notice he directed towards you as well. she ducked her head, braids falling in front of her at the noticeable attention.
“don’t tease her”. you laughed, settling yourself down on the ground to ease the ache in your legs. you saw neytiri give you a grateful look, her knees going to touch the soil to make herself eye level with you. it was jake last who joined you, head resting against the tree and arm balancing on top of his knee.
the proximity between you caused your heart to beat slightly faster than normal, from your peripheral you managed to notice jake staring at you. a twinkle that was familiar to you, the exact same one that you saw him giving neytiri.
you couldn’t help but meet his eyes, yet he didn’t look away—only quirked a smile at you. the only thing to break his gaze was his subtle nod to the woman in front of you, who crept closer to the point where you could smell the warm scent that poured off her.
when you felt her shy touch, you glanced. the distance between your face was minimal, you could count the white freckles that decorated her one by one. the gasp that left you was barely noticeable, neytiri glancing down at your lips with her precise senses.
breaking the silence, jake had addressed the situation—observing your confusion. “y’know we like you, right sweetheart? and we noticed you liked us too. neytiri is good at figuring out small details.”
the audible flush of your features caused him to laugh, neytiri joining with a hand covering her teeth. you had switched your eye repeatedly to scan them. the confession digging deep as you felt your body still, thoughts twirling in your head.
“you do? like me, that is?” it felt like the first sentence you had spoken in centuries, the dryness in your mouth making you lick your lips. jake had fixated his gaze on the action.
“we’re surprised you didn’t notice, being so intelligent and all.” he shrugged, yet in his eyes still held softness. he had looked striking in that moment, the way his hair fell over his forehead, large braid resting over his chest—rising alongside it. toned stomach flexing subtly, your hands desperate to explore it.
neytiri had grabbed a piece of loose braid that bundled over your shoulder, your attention directing to her as she shifted closer to you. “will you accept us, ma’ (y/n)?”
“of course.” the way you had peered into her eyes before her lips, it was her clear invitation to bring her mouth to fit over yours. like two puzzle pieces locking in place, as cliche as it sounded—sparks flew.
you felt a pair of hands snaking around your waist as soon as you parted, jake then bringing one to cup the apple of your cheek. the way he studied your features caused a shy smile to appear on your glossy lips. it was then his turn to sneak a peck, his was gentle—but you could tell he was holding back something more deep.
your kiss was interrupted but a yawn that had forced its way through. the chuckles that left your now partners had you shaking your head in dismissal. the male avatar in front of you teased. “someone needs a nap.”
“no, really. i’m okay.”
“nonsense.” neytiri had silenced you, a hush falling from her lips as she motioned for you to lie back. jake cushioning the ground for you as he brung an arm under you. neytiri cradling herself beside you, their hands interlocking over your drained body yet the excitement was still all too much. “rest, we will be here when you wake.”
and she was right.
fuzzy red had been exposed through your closed eyelids, sun filtering though the greenery as your head picked up off the soft skin acting as a pillow. looking to the right, jake’s peaceful expression softened you. it was probably the most calm you’ve ever saw him, and neytiri. oh, neytiri.
her head laid on your shoulder, tail wrapped around your conjoined legs as the rise of her chest drawn you to observe. her usual deadpanned face held a tenderness that you felt honored to have experienced in that moment.
you had no other choice but to snuggle in deeper between the two of them, your heart not wanting to be in any other place.
jake was one to joke around, he was one to tease. ever since you had revealed your romantic interests to one another, he did everything in his power to let you know he was obsessed. yet, he couldn’t help riling you up just a little.
content warning. smut 18+
several hunters surrounded you, wraps of meat in their hands as you conversed through the chatter from the other clan members around you. the communal feast that the olo’eyktan had ordered to ease the community after a lengthy expedition brought entertainment amongst you all.
you didn’t take notice of a problem until you heard a booming laughter in the distance, eyes drifting, you saw jake surrounded by several women of the clan. beautiful women.
their shy giggles and wandering eyes gazing in admiration at the fact that toruk makto had all their attention. it made your head tilt slightly, eyes narrowing at the scene as you observed jake chatting smoothly with them. the harsh flick of your tail showcased your irritation.
you handed your leftover meal to the member closest to you, one who didn’t resist the extra meat as you sauntered towards your almost lover. as you neared, you saw several of the na’vi meet your eyes. their once lovingly touches and soft tone dwindled at the expression on your face, they sensed it.
the sudden change in atmosphere had jake looking back curiously, only to be met with you. eyes turned to slits, lips dipped down in a frown and tail flicking rapidly behind you.
“hey, baby! care to join me?” his stupid smile widened at the sight of you, arms going to wrap around you until you placed a hand on his chest firmly.
“we are leaving.” the three words that escaped your mouth were monotone, your behavior was quick to catch his attention and a large smirk grazed his features. he caught on quick enough to your jealousy.
with a hand firmly wrapped around his bicep, you dragged him to a more secluded part of the forest, where no one would be able to interrupt your scolding.
“why are you with them? you know they like you, especially priyal.” the venom at which you spat her name made jake chuckle slightly. his head shaking in disagreement as his arms went to wrap around your waist.
“y’know i don’t like any of them, sweetheart. i see you, you’re the only one for me.” he dipped his head to brush his nose against the base of your neck, you couldn’t help but let a small smile release at the feeling of his attention on you.
you felt his fingers brush lower along your waist as he placed small kisses against your collarbones. bringing a hand to grip his braided hair, you let out small gasps as he nipped gently at your skin.
“c’mon, lay down for me.” he whispered, guiding you as you settled against the soft surface of green nature. jake’s hand going to cradle the back of your head as your hair sprawled out all around you. in his eyes, you looked like a gift personally from eywa. all for him.
you could only stare, breath falling heavy as you watched jake continue his strips of kisses down your body. the arousal surrounding the two of you was strong, you could feel the evidence coating your loincloth. the piece of material was his next opponent as his fingers untied the fabric that covered the place he wanted to explore next.
“i just love looking at you like this, baby. it’s a dream come true.” the rasp in his voice made your eyes roll, the feeling that heated your lower stomach was unbearable. a strangled gasp left your mouth as you felt two fingers rub against your most sensitive area.
“oh, eywa.” you couldn’t help the moan that left you.
“say my name, c’mon sweetheart.” the circling of his hand movement dragged out several lewd sounds from you. your head dropping against the grass as your back rose off the ground.
“jake, please.”
“please what, baby? use your words.” through what you could see from your heavy lidded eyes, you saw jake lean down slightly as his breath hovered between your legs. “please pleasure me, do anything, please.”
“just because you asked so nicely.” he rose to full height on his knees, his large veiny hands clumsily fumbling with his own cloth as it awaited urgently to fall so your bodies could finally connect. once it did, you were surprised you could suppress the moan that desperately wanted to leave your throat.
jake was thick, and very long. your eyes caught the pulsing vein that traveled along his member. standing straight, liquid leaking from the tip as it navigated towards your own revealed skin—puffy and waiting to be filled.
his hands met your thighs, dripped carefully as he pulled your body closer towards him. it was until the brush of his lower head against you that your eyes screwed shut, one of your hands digging into his shoulder as he pushed himself deeper. the low rumble that escaped him was met with your soft moans.
jake brought a hand to your chin and held it softly, directing your eyes to keep contact with his. “keep looking at me, just like that.”
as your thighs clenched around his waist, you tried to resist your eyes from fully shutting. high pitched groans and purr like sounds emitting from you as jake sped up his movements, thumb going to rub against your sensitive bud to try and bring you closer to your release. it was working.
“i can feel you clenching around me, baby. keep doing that and i won’t last much longer.” you could barely register what he was saying as he deepened himself in you, drawing out more moans from one another in unison.
you could feel the tightening in your stomach begin to blossom, and the pleasure beginning to make your mind numb. you stuttered out, trying to communicate to your lover yet the bliss became to overwhelming.
jake let a hand rest on the ground beside your head as he brung one of your legs over his shoulder. his eyes falling shut as he quickened his pace. “come for me, baby. come all over me. you can do it.”
a moan too loud for your surroundings escaped you, feeling of euphoria clashing down as your legs spasmed from the pleasure. your eyes opened to watch jake’s movement become sloppy as he quickly pulled out to release over your stomach.
using his own loincloth to clean up the mess, jake collapsed beside you. bringing your body to rest comfortably against his, a hand tracing the thigh that you brought to rest over his hip.
looking up at him, your eyes narrowed. “i’m still upset at you.”
Hey by any chance are you going to do a part 2 for “Built for Blame” and “Strangers”? Sorry if this is like your five thousandth request for a part two for those😬
hi love! currently i have no plans on making a part 2 for those fics but if i get any good ideas on a second part then i will probably publish one. the idea is always open!
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