– &&. MATEO’S TOUCH FELT like fire against his already-burning skin – but he was far too GONE to react any further. Muscled frame all but SLOUCHED against the porcelain seat of the toilet, forehead PRESSED against the cool surface as a ragged sound RUMBLED somewhere in his chest. It was a noise of mingled PAIN and EXHAUSTION, stomach twisting IMPATIENTLY within him as knots and NAUSEA washed over him mercilessly. A part of him felt ready to HEAVE again, but he swallowed the BILE rising in his throat back again, leaving a sickly BURN in its wake. A shaking hand LIFTED, as if the blonde was on the verge of assisting the other in removing Zaiden’s clothing, before falling away again. The edges of his visions were BLURRING into darkness and his head was POUNDING. Zaiden knew WHEN to cut his losses, and RIGHT NOW, he felt like the world was CRUMBLING around HIM.
The COOL AIR hitting his flushed skin was enough to pull an almost RELIEVED sigh from the blonde, breaths still a touch SHALLOW and body coiled TIGHT. He licked his dried-out lips, a part of him wanting to ask Mateo for a glass of water – but he already looked too weak. His voice didn’t WORK, his thoughts TOO scattered. He knew asking anything more of the brunette would be pushing whatever boundaries they had left at this point. Instead, he stirred to allow his shirt to SLIDE off of his figure. Mateo discarded it, he knew, and in that moment of BRIEF silence, Zaiden tried to reorganize his thoughts. A part of him wanted to RUN. Run far, far AWAY from Mateo, Mateo’s apartment, his car – EVERYTHING. Wanted to be alone, where he could he could crumble without someone else’s gaze lingering to witness his demise. And yet, on the other hand, something within the blonde couldn’t help but feel as if HE was the ONLY ONE that he’d rather have see him … like THIS.
His VOICE, however, pulled Zaiden from his hazed thoughts. A mild GRUNT was all he could manage as BLURRY blue eyes finally fluttered open again. The harsh LIGHT caused him to squint, a muttered HISS under his breath all he could manage before finally casting a glance at the tub. ❝ I… can. ❞ The blonde responded a bit LAMELY, shifting as if he was about to make it up to his feet. He swayed dangerously in the process, groaning LOUDLY as a fresh wave of NAUSEA crashed over him. Teeth clenched together TIGHTLY enough for the muscle in his jaw to jump VISIBLY, but he was DETERMINED. ❝ You don’t HAVE to. I can… do it. ❞ Zaiden pressed on, hand falling to his belt as he swayed where he stood. For a moment, Zaiden almost FLASHED a ghost of a BITTER smile, turning his head away before Mateo could see it. ❝ You must be SICK of me by now. ❞
sick of him? mateo almost laughs at the suggestion; god, he wishes he could be sick of the other man. it would be so much easier if he was. instead, he orbits zade the way a lesser celestial body might orbit the sun, always hovering on the edge, waiting for the inevitable tug that throws him off course, crashing into each other with the force of the universe behind them. even now, he gravitates towards the taller blond, feet taking him back to where the man stands without conscious thought, an almost pavlovian response to the sound of his voice. “ you can’t get rid of me that easily, hendricks. ” hidden under the edge of teasing in his voice is the distinct timbre of resignation. if zade is apollo then he must be icarus, the foolish, foolish boy, destined to fall in love out of the sky for daring to bask in the god’s warmth. he will drown for his desires, he knows this.
“ let me help. ” his voice is soft, somewhere between a command and a plea. hands, calloused from years of playing the guitar, come up to cover zade’s. he pulls zade’s hands away from his belt, pressing a kiss to each palm before placing them on his shoulders instead –– a solid weight zade can use to steady himself. mateo works the belt undone with the ease of experience, smirk tugging at his lip at the familiar gesture in an unfamiliar situation. they’re sailing on uncharted waters now, pushing the boundaries of their relationship and mapping the changes. the belt is discarded carelessly, mateo’s gaze never leaving zade’s profile even as he pushes the man’s pants and boxers down. “ you wanna know what’s pathetic? ” he brings a hand up, palm finding defined jaw and forcing their gazes to meet. even with pupils blown wide, the ring of blue is electrifying, the intensity of it a stark reminder of just how magnetic zaiden hendricks can be. “ even like this, i still want to kiss you. ”
and then he grins, slow and wide, as if he hasn’t just cracked his ribs open and revealed more in that one sentence than he ever has. “ not before you brush your teeth though. i don’t like you that much. ” he moves closer, every inch between them conquered deliberately, as if he’s about to kiss zade despite his earlier words–– before reaching over him to the sink cabinet and retrieving a new toothbrush. he presses a kiss against zade’s bare shoulder, somewhere along the dip of his collarbone – an apology, perhaps – wrapping his other arm around zade’s waist and manoeuvring them so that he can use the sink to rinse the toothbrush one-handed. he only lets go of zade to squeeze the toothpaste, stepping back to give the man some space after handing the toothbrush over. but not too far away, never out of reach. “ you can join me in the bath once you’re done. ” gaze never leaving those blue, blue eyes, mateo strips down quickly before sinking into the tub, a single eyebrow raised in invitation.
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