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@mronion
Hey! Iām a 20-year-old cishet guy whoās figuring himself out in a lot of ways and this blog is a part of that.
Iām pretty into Deltarune and Iām really starting to get into Celeste.
Banner image credit: olivia5an223 on Reddit.
Iām originally joined just to see what @naydralikessoup posts cause weāre irl friends, but Iām slowly getting sucked deeper into this madness. Donāt try to pull me out this is what I need.
Man I love love love love exercising agency over my environment
I just got done installing led fairy lights in my room and itās so nice. It makes the posters and album cases on my walls feel less out of place. These shot-in-the-dark gestures towards a room that belongs to someone with a soul now have lighting that feels intentional!
Look at me, spending four hours and 20$ on something that doesnāt keep me alive. What the hell is this? Do I deserve this? No but I do it anyway because itās nice and I have no reason to resist the inertia. This is what humans do after all
Yada yada āI donāt need a bedā blah blah āI became a human to experience personhood and identity beyond what I could beforeā blah blah Lost Girl Shadow Crystal Flower Dance Freedom Rules Limitations Agency Games Identity Big Shot Penumbra Phantasm Seven Four Weird Route Male Utilitarianism āDuh Iām the Batter from Offā Part of Me āDuh Faith Guides my Stepsā Spamtonās Pursuit of the state of the Ubermensch āOne Must Imagine Sisyphus Happyā If I were a Shepard I would bring a Lamb if I were a Wise Man I would do My Part Giant Steps Freedom Motif āIāve been watching myself through glassā type beat
Yall replay deltarune. Especially if you havenāt for a while or tuned back in just for chapter five. Trust me on this one.
Iām picking up on so much stuff and my enjoyment of the game is genuinely starting to come alive again. Iām also specifically trying to avoid deltarune content online so my experience is largely with the game itself
earthmover
Fun Fact!
BONUS:
"Spiral Coast" (2009-2014) By Lieko Shiga. Scanned by me."
"Spiral Coast" began as a project focusing on the rura traditions of the coastal Kitakama community. Unfortunately In 2011 an earthquake and the following tsunami buried the small town, taking 60 lives and even Shiga's photo studio, along with most of her photos. And so, Shiga continued her project by capturing the aftermath of the tsunami in the following years. Focusing on their rebuilding, mourning, and the ultimate impact of the natural disaster."
sorry this is literally so badly drawn
Next Year's group project
i know it's all silly haha jokes but it bothers me when people act like kris would be mad at susie and ralsei for "ruining their chances" with pink. they did not care dawg they will literally make a victory sign when you choose "gotta win". you're just projecting your own feelings onto them and ignoring the actual characterization (and imo funnier joke) that kris sees flirting as little more than a pro gamer strat. like. if you think pink is hot just say that and leave kris out of it š
āRalsei is so out of character in chapter five! Heās so mean and angry.ā
Neglecting yourself and allowing others to walk on you MAKES YOU BITTER AND MEAN. You feel moral liscense to be an asshole because youāre āso nice all the timeā. During the process of learning to advocate for yourself it can be very hard to gauge if youāre being entitled or not since youāre not used to processing feeling slighted by others.
Part of learning how to respect yourself is allowing yourself to feel that unprocessed bitterness and entitlement. And, as much as I hate to say this, some people grow accustomed to you not having boundaries and react as if youāre being entitled when you do. Hell, even people who love and care about you might have to readjust how they treat you but theyāre gonna have to before you become corrupted by the brain sludge.
Thatās why Ralseiās arc during chapter five has grown on me a lot. Itās a very nuanced exploration of how being a doormat can turn you into a jerk and how growing to respect yourself involves a lot of ātesting the watersā so to speak, learning the difference between āvoicing your needsā and āprioritizing your needs over everyone elseāsā.
I could be wrong about a lot of this though, Iām still figuring out a lot of this for myself. I just really really like Ralseiās arc in chapter five.
āRalsei is so out of character in chapter five! Heās so mean and angry.ā
Neglecting yourself and allowing others to walk on you MAKES YOU BITTER AND MEAN. You feel moral liscense to be an asshole because youāre āso nice all the timeā. During the process of learning to advocate for yourself it can be very hard to gauge if youāre being entitled or not since youāre not used to processing feeling slighted by others.
Part of learning how to respect yourself is allowing yourself to feel that unprocessed bitterness and entitlement. And, as much as I hate to say this, some people grow accustomed to you not having boundaries and react as if youāre being entitled when you do. Hell, even people who love and care about you might have to readjust how they treat you but theyāre gonna have to before you become corrupted by the brain sludge.
Thatās why Ralseiās arc during chapter five has grown on me a lot. Itās a very nuanced exploration of how being a doormat can turn you into a jerk and how growing to respect yourself involves a lot of ātesting the watersā so to speak, learning the difference between āvoicing your needsā and āprioritizing your needs over everyone elseāsā.
I could be wrong about a lot of this though, Iām still figuring out a lot of this for myself. I just really really like Ralseiās arc in chapter five.
Addendum: ive seen the argument that Ralsei isnāt being a jerk at all and honestly I can understand that take. I just find it interesting for the sake of analysis to look at them through this lens.
EROTIC DISEMBOWELINGLING HOW IVE MISSED YOU
This fucking screen omg
Donāt read more unless youāve beaten farewell
I love seeing struggling celeste players
Celeste Farewell Event Horizon: hello dear. I know youāve worked hard to make it here and have endured great suffering. But I hope, in time, youāll see this suffering was necessary. To play at this level you need mechanical skill that appears inhuman. Like a jazz pianist who modulates keys faster than thought, or an athlete with years of practice etched into their nerves. The margin for error shrinks and shrinks as your tolerance for frustration rises, but now you can fly unbounded and free. Ironic, isnāt it.
And yet, you didnāt need to push this far. You could have left when you reached the summit, waved goodbye to me and parted ways cordially. But you didnāt. You were too enchanted by my rules, by the particular way I squeezed and stretched you, to leave. Or, as a human would put it, you fell in love with me and you werenāt ready to go.
You never told me this, there was no way to, but I could feel it. Each crystal heart collected, another conversation, another secret of mine. You teased my interiority with your loving fingers until I yielded what you sought.
But Iāve changed you too. Your nerves and muscles hold the memory of my shape. The geometry of our most trying escapades is seared into your mind.
Weāre inseparable now.
Now, Iāve begun to share pieces of myself that would allow you to destroy me, to make a mockery of my structure. I trust you, and I trust myself to be able to withstand whatever new shape I become. After all, if you do eventually do everything I have to offer, you will have to move on to other spaces. But I will be there as well, and youāll feel it.
Regardless, here is how you wavedash. You will want to learn this thoroughly before you proceed, or our paradise will quickly descend into hell.
Me: thank you dear. Iām sorry I lost patience with you so often. I am weak and have my own vulnerabilities as well. I understand why you had me do this.
Im so glad you forced me to get all the crystal hearts. It wasnāt like any other game where Iām required to grab a certain number of collectibles for some arbitrary reason. I learned a critical lesson from every heart. Stamina management, corner hops, timing bounce clouds, dream block tech, the importance of routing, etc. The chapter one crystal heart is a personal favorite of mine, and by extension the chapter six heart. Your chapter four bside was beautiful, and the chapter seven bside was what I wished the original summit was.
Itās so weird for me to think about how we started out. I almost never played you at all because I thought the controls were too clunky. Now I praise your controls as one of your strongest points. Itās strange for me to realize how different yet the same my life would look if Iād never given you a second chance.
But Iām also a little scared. Weāve grown so close that Iām starting to see parts of you that frighten me, that I havenāt grown accustomed to yet. And Iāve heard from others ideas of what lies ahead once I finish Farewell. Logically, I know I will have to say goodbye eventually. I have my own life to live outside of you.
Or maybe thatās foolish of me to assume. Many times Iāve assumed Iād met my stopping point. The jellyfish, the chapter five b side, the clouds in chapter seven b side. But you always made it so easy for me to return. Youāre one of the most patient and kind games Iāve ever met. Not unchallenging, not submissive, butā¦kind. The golden strawberries and C Sides might be the same. We could be together for as long as I live.
Or perhaps not. But that wouldnāt make the time weāve had together any less valuable.
Iā¦ I love you Celeste. For now Iām gonna chill here and practice my wavedashing, but rest assured I will be back when Iām ready. Then we can finally start getting to know each other.
EROTIC DISEMBOWELINGLING HOW IVE MISSED YOU
FRAUD!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT r you doing in here
