Forever And a Day

I created this secondary tumblr as just a place to gather ideas for my upcoming wedding. Now it's about my journey through marriage. Follow me as I accumulate ideas, inspiration, and a fiance. And I promise to link to and credit as many sources as I can. March 17, 2013 will be here before we know it!

[mrskeller]

Day 3 progress. You can see what a difference bobbins make in terms of weaving in ends, even if I have a dozen little balls of yarn now . I've been working on charts I slightly adapted from Crafty Ridge Designs Harry Potter C2C crochet blanket. I drew them all out in an old graphing notebook and mark off squares as I go. Loving how fast this is coming together.

[mrskeller]

Working on a new project. Must learn bobbins method for next 14 squares cause that's a lot of ends to weave.

[mrskeller]

First day at Universal Orlando! We grabbed a frozen butter beer before trekking back to the hotel for a sista. Can't wait to see more and share more fun pics.

[mrskeller]

Weird things that cheer me up

Making laundry detergent. I've been feeling pretty crummy today like PMS on overload, so getting to do something productive that doesn't require a lot of mental energy has really lifted my mood. I hope everyone finds their happy thing today.

[mrskeller]

PCOS Confession

I spend hours looking at cute baby things on Pinterest and then get mad at Pinterest when pregnancy/baby related things pop up on one of my "feeling terrible about my infertility" days.

[mrskeller]

TTC confession

Every couple of weeks I get the unshakable urge to take a pregnancy test. Or three. My logical self knows the outcome will be negative since I'm not ovulating, but there is an ever growing part of me that hurts when that special second line fails to show.

[mrskeller]

Someone wants in from the cold.

[mrskeller]

Aunt’s finished elf slippers. I prefer the red, white, and green option but these turned out very cute.

Pattern by Caron here. (It's an archived website).

Vanna's Choice in fisherman white and cranberry.

Red Heart Boutique Fur in polar.

Looking forward to making a pair for myself.

[gallicinvasion]

Another woman utterly failed by our society’s devaluation of women’s reproductive health. We can’t wait around for male doctors to decide what we need to know. This is why we need to take control and educate ourselves about our own bodies.

[gallicinvasion]

and here’s some comments i saw under the post. why is this a pattern?? why is this a recurring theme?? why is this information not common knowledge? what the fuck are doctors doing??

[sora2522]

This is news to me so let’s share it so people will know!

[halfhardtorock]

Gross tmi: but i passed a pretty big clot after having my daughter. It was about the size of a baseball. It actually hurt worse because while 15 hours of labor opened my cervix, i passed the clot in 30 minutes. I knew it was a possibility because of my midwife and reading, but everyone Ive told after this (mostly other pregnant women) were shocked that this could happen.

In our culture, it’s much more common to do deep research about what family cars we want to buy than we do about childbirth when we ’re pregnant.

[skeleton-warrior-deactivated201]

Tmi: I passed a huge clot after birth in the bathroom of my hospital room and called the nurse sobbing because I didn’t know it was normal. She treated me like an idiot, but NO ONE told me it was a possibility. And the pain associated with healing for the first couple of weeks after birth was worse than the labor imo. Again, I had no idea. They didn’t tell me a thing besides “sitz bath regularly and change your pads.” Before discharging me from the hospital.

[evashandor]

I was most definitely told about this in school. Fucking hell, 4-6 weeks of bleeding? My periods were/are bad enough, why the hell don’t we get told this?

[love-pro-choice]

I didn’t know it could last so long, wtf? Is the bleeding inevitable after birth? 

[rosietwiggs]

Bleeding is inevitable after birth - your uterine wall is shedding a fuck ton of lining. It can last from three to six weeks (possible longer) and it tapers off.

More TMI - I passed a MASSIVE clot after my fourth birth. At this point I already knew this could happen - it’s normal. What I DIDN’T know, was that I had caused it.

My post birth contractions were so bad after the birth that it felt like full transition labor. And they don’t give you anything for the pain. So I used a hot water bottle, without the nurses knowing, and it caused me to bleed even more. I lost so much blood that by the first time they sat me up to go to the bathroom, I fainted. It took three more tries until I could sit up.

Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is, the next morning I passed a clot the SIZE OF ANOTHER PLACENTA I KID YOU NOT, and I know what is and is not normal. So I called for the nurse and through the door told her I had passed a huge clot, and her response was - “It’s not big. I know what big is.” She hadn’t even looked. So I rolled my eyes and said, “Yeah, no. It’s big, I’m telling you.”

So, sounding extremely put upon, she asked me to open the door. I did, and after a long pause she goes, “Okay, yeah, that’s a little big.”

YOU DON’T SAY.

The point I’m trying to get across is that this shit is so common - women not knowing this stuff is so expected, and it keeps getting reinforced. People don’t expect you to know anything, don’t teach you anything, and then make you feel like you’re totally ignorant and a burden for your lack of knowledge when THEY WON’T SHARE.

Fucking learn EVERYTHING you can when it comes to childbirth, girls. It is the single most empowering thing you can do for yourself. And if you missed something, that’s okay. But the more knowledge you arm yourself with, the more in control of your situation you’ll be.

A few post partum tips:

DON’T use a hot water bottle - lol.

ONLY pads - NO tampons. Tampons can cause severe infection, not to mention, you probably don’t want to be shoving anything up there any time soon.

If you’ve had stitches, sitz baths DO help relieve the pain. Another great pain reliever? Dampen some pads and freeze them. Let one thaw slightly and use it on top of another pad. This will help with the pain as well as reduce swelling. Change the pad out as soon as it’s thawed completely. This REALLY helps on the first couple days after giving birth.

If you pass a clot, don’t sweat it. Even the one I passed, which was fucking massive, just required that we keep an eye out to make sure it didn’t happen again. If it does, talk to your doctor.

Take a pain killer half an hour before nursing. Because YES - your uterus is contracting after you give birth, to get back to its original size, and nursing causes much stronger contractions. Taking nursing-safe painkillers won’t prevent the pain, but it will reduce it. 

Buy disposable underwear for the first few days after birth. They will get VERY dirty. Or use your ratty old pairs that you’re ready to get rid of. Double up on pads - line them all the way up your ass-crack. I am so serious. And wear dark pants.

Pee in the shower. You do NOT want to wipe down there right after birth because ow. Peeing in the shower lets you just rinse afterwards. Especially if you’ve had stitches, peeing in the shower, with the shower-head rinsing AS you go, keeps stinging to a minimum. And fuck everyone else - keep on peeing in the shower until you feel ready to move back to toilet paper. Middle of the night and need to pee? Get your pants off - get in the shower and just go.

This is just a few things, but PLEASE feel free to send me an ask if you have any questions about ANYTHING childbirth/pregnancy/nursing related. I have four incredible kids. I’ve done it all - c-section, vacuume birth, episiotimy, stitches, with an epidural, without an epidural. I’m here.

[warpedchyld]

I learned about cramping while nursing and bleeding after pregnancy, not from a medical textbook, or a doctor or medical professional. No, I learned about it from reading Clan Of the Cave Bear. A fictional book about Neanderthals had more valuable advice regarding pregnancy thank any other book I have read, at least while I was a kid.

[givergirl]

WHAT the actual FUCK?!

FUCK men in science. This shit pisses me off so much. I NEVER knew about this!

[dynastylnoire]

Yeah… I’m not ready for that life fam

[audienceplant]

Good info… also there is a lot of unintended peeing after giving birth, as in leaking, as in your pelvis floor might be a hot mess :) (mine still is 3+ years postpartum)

[dynastylnoire]

Omg I salute you all.

[nuthinxnobody]

I feel so bad for the vagina holders. Y'all don’t catch a break man

[inallsimplicity]

I just learned so much.

[mrskeller]

Spread the knowledge far and wide.

[mrskeller]

So, I went out and bought 6 tests so I could confirm or deny Friday's test. I swear I still see lines on these two, definitely not as strong but still there. I'm going to call it wishful thinking, though. I'm not terribly torn up about it since I wasn't convinced in the first place, but I am kind of disappointed I can't announce it to the hubs or the family for Christmas.

If you'd like to see what I see, go here for the first image and here for the second to play with grayscale, invert, and brightness.

[mrskeller]

NEWS UPDATE WITH TINA FEY.

Sorry, no, just a post to say that yesterday's weird, maybe positive test was refuted by a starkly negative one this morning. I'm still in the dark. My mind says I'm not pregnant, that I shouldn't hope for that since the hubs and I are in no way prepared to have a bundle of responsibility right now. My heart says that I drank a lot of tea before bed that might have diluted my urine and stats show FMU isn't always the best for testing and it was a different brand that could have been less sensitive. Either way I'm going to wait another couple of days to test again if AF doesn't come swooping in like she's supposed to tomorrow.

[mrskeller]

I know it's hard to see in the picture (unless you've been staring at this thing for the last two hours like I have), but IRL there is a decently formed line on this test. Having no period for the last five months, makes me skeptical about this being a real BFP, so I thought I'd put it up for a vote. If you want a better look, go here What do you guys think? Glorious positive or cruel indent? 

[mrskeller]

I feel bad for Thanksgiving

But I started Christmas shopping today.

The Hubs gifts are about 75% done. I picked up a Founding Fathers nesting doll set we spotted in a flea market this past weekend and a chess set to satisfy his hoity-toity board game needs. After a few stocking stuffers, I've got about $20 left for one or two more things.

I also picked up plenty of ideas for everyone else. Since times are tight, I'm trying to find small but significant items for everyone, and it's actually a lot more fun than debating over the blue or purple sweater at the department store. Hopefully, everyone appreciates the extra effort.

[mrskeller]

This is not supposed to happen. I got a little lazy on some of Ironman's pixels and three of them came apart AFTER being sewn into the blanket. This thing is already late and now I've got to pick out stitches and replace them. Crochet lesson learned.

[mrskeller]

Hulk done. Now, I'm ready to start sewing together Hawk Eye. I'm very pleased that I decided to sew each character seperately; it's kept me from pulling my hair out with granny square overload. I think I'm more anxious to see it all together than Bill is.

[mrskeller]

It's a love-hate thing.

Marathoning the 10th season of Bones on Netflix. I love this show for a bunch of reasons, but this season is killing me. First they kill one of the sweetest characters (no pun intended) who never hurt anyone. Now, Bones is pregnant! Just stab an hpt through my poor TTC heart, why don't ya.

[mrskeller]

Hulk is coming along nicely. There's not as much contrast between the two greens as I'd like but it'll do. I'm in love with my snipped ends jar fitting in my homemade center-wind ball. So much more convenient for carrying around the house.