coffee shops near me please google

Orihara Izaya's parent's blog (mainly his mother, Kyouko). Crack canon.

[mrsoriharakyouko]

IM GONNA RAM MY PENIS INTO YOUR SON'S PENIS

mY SON HAS A PENIS?!!?!?!?!?!?!??!!?!?!??!?!

[mrsoriharakyouko]

" Mama, we're all full of lies... Mama, we're meant for the flies! And right now they're building a coffin /your/ size~! Mama, we're all full of lies..." Dramatically singing.

Kyouko claps once, twice, three times.

“Beautiful, beautiful! Izabella, you can hit the high notes, but your pirouette needs work. Can’t you move in heels? You’re seven, this should be easy now!”

[mrsoriharakyouko]

YOU'RE SO SHITTY JUST LOOKING AT YOU GAVE ME DIARRHEA

DIARRHEA IS THE ONLY THING THAT’LL EVEN HAPPEN IN THOSE PANTS YA VIRGIN 10 YEAR OLD WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE I WAS PREGNEENT WITH IZA-CHIN AND FIFTY TIMES HOTTER YA HOESLUT

[preciousyellowidiot-archives-de]

kESS MAMA ON TEH MOUTH LIPS C====8 (SIMILE FACE!!!!1) FROM ANONWHYMOOSE

@mrsoriharakyouko

….…………………….

smoochatthespeedoflight.

I hate this game.

[mrsoriharakyouko]

Kida was almost free. 

He’d kissed Mama, the doppelganger of beauty queens, at the “speed of light.”

Unfortunately for Kida, he had forgotten to run away at the speed of light.

“Ho ho hoho ho”

Using a move from her days as a professional hog wrestler, Mama picked Kida up and slung him over a shoulder.

“Got you, Kida-taaaan!”

[mrsoriharakyouko]

FUCKING CUNT WHY DO YOU HAVE AUTOPLAY ON YOUR SHITTY BLOG I'M UNFOLLOWING

Mama was facing away from the child, performing a series of strange (yet rhythmic) movements with her hips toward her portable breadmaker. Instead of turning her flesh coloured orbs toward the little hoeslut, she only turned her head.

Sniffing dramatically, her face curled into disgust, flaps of skin pulling at other flaps of skin as if they were reenacting that scene from the Titantic where the (spoiler) ship is (really this is a spoiler) sinking and that guy falls off the ship and (spoiler!!!!!) hits a propeller. 

“Smells like shit.” She cooed dramatically, her flirty drawl questionably present despite it’s absence. “Run out of foots stuck up your arse, Hakuna-matata? Don’t see no other reason you’d be here unless that’s what you were looking for.”

She didn’t bother to give Ajax Spray and Wipe her attention, knowing full well that she was a bitch.

[mrsoriharakyouko]

PAPA THAT LITTLE SLUT @mafia-and-coloring-books WANZ TO POOT HER PENIS IN IZA-CHAN’S PEENS

[mrsoriharakyouko]

"Mom go home, you're an embarrassment."

"SCREW YOU, IZA-CHAN! YOU CAN’T HOLD ME BACK ANYMORE!”

The surprisingly limber woman called from the dance floor, never stopping her popping and locking. Izaya didn’t even know how to Krump, so he was probably just jealous.

[mrsoriharakyouko]

{[ Freeze! You’re under arrest for being so nice and cute. Copy this message to 10 other blogs that you think are beautiful and deserve it. Keep the GAME going and make others feel beautiful ❤ (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ ]}

tANK UOY

[mrsoriharakyouko]

MAME

@erikararara U LUV ME BEEC WE LEARNED 2 MAKE THOSE CHEMS 2GETHER AND ITS GOOD BC SHEZUO AND IZACHAN WILL BE IN BUTTLOVE SOON AND UR MY GURL GURLFREND LETS START A GURLBAND AN NOT INVITE @otousamayobeyo

[erikararara]

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬A LA LA LA LALA LA, AHH LA LA LALAA, LALALALAA~♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

[mrsoriharakyouko]

U LOOK GUD IM REEDY

@mikage-s ARE U REDAY WHAT INSTRUMINT DO U WANNA PLAY

[mikage-s]

“Wha- er… drums?  Drums I guess?”

[mrsoriharakyouko]

DRUMS??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!

[mrsoriharakyouko]

MAME

@erikararara U LUV ME BEEC WE LEARNED 2 MAKE THOSE CHEMS 2GETHER AND ITS GOOD BC SHEZUO AND IZACHAN WILL BE IN BUTTLOVE SOON AND UR MY GURL GURLFREND LETS START A GURLBAND AN NOT INVITE @otousamayobeyo

[erikararara]

♩ ♪ ♫ ♬A LA LA LA LALA LA, AHH LA LA LALAA, LALALALAA~♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

[mrsoriharakyouko]

U LOOK GUD IM REEDY

@mikage-s ARE U REDAY WHAT INSTRUMINT DO U WANNA PLAY

[erikararara]

– guys I got followed by 12 spam blogs today? TWELVE

[preciousyellowidiot-archives-de]

ME TOO I GOT FOLLOWED BY WAY TOO MANY HORNY MATURE WOMEN AND WET WIVES. I SUSPECT @mrsoriharakyouko

[mrsoriharakyouko]

bAB DID U CALL I MISS U WEHERE ARE UOY WHEN ARE UOU CUMIN TO DINNER UR THE DINER HO HO HO HAV U SEEN THE STAIRS LATELEE THEY BEAUIFOL LIK U I LUV UROY BODY CUM 2 ME

[mrsoriharakyouko]

OOC

I THINK MAMA IS DRUNK SOMEONE SEND HELP

[mrsoriharakyouko]

MME

@ask-shizuchan UR A GUD BOY WITH GOOD TASTE U POUND MY IZACHAN WIT UR POLLS SO MUCH U MUST LUV ME FOR GIVIN HIM TO YOU WHEN ARE U CUMMIN 2 DINNER I’LL GIV U SXY SUNDAES AND U CAN POUND IZACHAN WHEN PAPA ISNT LOOKIN OR ME I HAV LEGS 2 U KNO

[ask-shizuchan]

uhhh….no?

[mrsoriharakyouko]

YULE POUND HIM SOFT IT K MAYB IZA-CHAN WELL POUND U?? HO HO HO HO HO MY LEGS SAY YE S

[mrsoriharakyouko]

MIME

@miruo-cchi u LUV MY STYLE AN MY LEGS MAYB CALFS I PARCKOR FOR U BEFORE BED SO U GET SXC CONFUSED. maYB IT EVERTHEN MAYB U CAN B IN THE GURL BAND 1 DAY 2 BUT WE SEX SO IT UP 2 U BUT U LUV MY STERN HAND SO ITS OK <============3 (HEART!!!!!!!11!)

[mrsoriharakyouko]

MME

@ask-shizuchan UR A GUD BOY WITH GOOD TASTE U POUND MY IZACHAN WIT UR POLLS SO MUCH U MUST LUV ME FOR GIVIN HIM TO YOU WHEN ARE U CUMMIN 2 DINNER I’LL GIV U SXY SUNDAES AND U CAN POUND IZACHAN WHEN PAPA ISNT LOOKIN OR ME I HAV LEGS 2 U KNO

[mrsoriharakyouko]

MAME

@erikararara U LUV ME BEEC WE LEARNED 2 MAKE THOSE CHEMS 2GETHER AND ITS GOOD BC SHEZUO AND IZACHAN WILL BE IN BUTTLOVE SOON AND UR MY GURL GURLFREND LETS START A GURLBAND AN NOT INVITE @otousamayobeyo

[mrsoriharakyouko]

MEIM

@ask-kasukakun YUO LOVE ME BC I AM SXC AND CAN JIRATE MY HIPS AN RUREE AND I ARE SXC DANCERS FOR U AND U LIK TAHT BC U WAN ME 2 POLL DANCE AT UR NEXT SHOW WEN ARE U COMIN 4 DINNER LOL COMMIN 2 EAT DINNRE NOT BE DINNER

C=======‘8 (WINKY FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11)