smartest thing she's ever said

[ms-fearless]

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2016

and now we welcome the new year, full of things that have never been. Lets open the book of blank pages and put the words on them ourselves. the book is called opportunity and its first chapter starts today. this is the beginning of anything you want.

[ms-fearless]

YOU DONT NEED A COSIGN ON YOUR GOALS

those who fail to advance in life are often immature. they are over reliant on others for their care, happiness, and success, and so they believe that other people should help them make their choices or approve their plans and actions. they still want mom and dad to point the way and give a nod of approval with every tentative step. the great rarely seek permission from the world, because they know that the masses bound by mediocrity will never approve of anything that breaks convention or smacks of boldness and magic. the only permission ever granted by society is permission to follow its norms and traditions.

[ms-fearless]

EUROPE

one of the bigger things on my bucket list is to backpack europe.. 

I’m not sure what it is about traveling that appeals to the human soul. Is it the adventure? Is it the newness? Is it the people, or culture, or visual sights? BUT I do know that if you plan on having a typical life, you have small window between high school and career/marriage/parenthood to selfishly travel. To pave your own way. To not think things through and to just live in the moment. 

“its about letting a little risk into your life”

so here we go. one way flight is booked for sept 30, 10pm into london.

[ms-fearless]

10 Tips to Let Go of the Past & Embrace the Future

Letting go can be difficult. Letting go of people, ideas, expectations, desires; letting go of bad habits, false beliefs and unhealthy relationships... the list goes on. Every day, every moment presents an opportunity to create ourselves anew, to shrug off the baggage of the past, open ourselves up to the possibility of the moment and take action to create an incredible future.

Although we can understand this intellectually, knowing it and living it are two very different things.

Here is my Top Ten Action list for letting go to get going:

1. Meditate.

Find stillness, breathe.

Meditation is action. Our mind is much harder to still than our body. Our lives are busy and fast paced, filled with external noise and distractions. Clarity comes from quiet.  Meditation, even in small amounts, will make room for the next 9 steps.

2. Understand.

Take time to reflect on your own history as a third party looking in without judgment: simply observe. Understand that you are not your past. Understand that the situations and patterns and people in your life created your experiences, they didn’t create you. Knowing and understanding your past and some of your patterns will help you to recognize why you hold on and repeat self-destructive behaviours. Understanding creates awareness; awareness helps you break the cycle.

3. Accept.

Accept your history and the people that have been a part of your history; accept your circumstances and remember that none of these define you. Acceptance is the first step to letting go and setting yourself free. Learn from the monk in the story: carrying bitterness, anger or animosity burdens no one but you.

4. Empty your cup.

Consciously and actively work at letting go of your story; your judgments and ideals, the material things, all your stuff. They have no real value. They do not make you stronger, healthier or more powerful, and belief in them is a delusion. Pour out your expectations of how, who, where and what you should be as they, too, are part of a story that holds you back from simply being.  Once you let go of this story and empty your cup, your life purpose will open up and flow.

5. Align.

Take a moment (or several: you’re worth the time) to write down the following:

i. Your core beliefs/values

ii. Your Life Goals

iii. The actions that you are taking to pursue those goals.

Now take an honest look at your core beliefs/values and determine whether or not they align with your goals and actions. If not, ask yourself: is it time to create new core beliefs, set new goals OR take new action? What actions must you take to align your actions with your beliefs in order to attain your goals. Write down 3 actions that you will take this week to get yourself moving.

6. Flex.

It may seem paradoxical to detach from outcomes, yet set goals and work toward them. But if you are flexible -- that is, willing to let go of the end result -- aligning your goals and true purpose with the greater good is righteous action. Be flexible; allow the path to unfold as it will, opening up to opportunities. Flex and flow with the current of life.

7. Contribute.

When you find yourself lamenting about your past or angry about your present or brooding about your future, find a way to making someone’s day better. Offering a smile to someone as you pass, opening a door, putting a bit of extra change in the parking meter, dropping off some food for the food bank: these simple actions can have lasting impact and help you to put your situation into perspective.

Contributing to the well-being of others is the best way to align with your true self.

8. Believe in yourself.

Believe in your purpose. Believe that the universe is unfolding as it should and that you have a divine roll to play. Believe that holding on does nothing in fact but hold you back from that purpose.

9. Love the process.

Have fun. Be playful, cheerful and positive. Give power to positivity. Love yourself, love others and love this life. It is a gift to unwrap each and every day, to gaze upon with new and excited eyes.

10. Be grateful.  Be true.

Once you have taken all of these actions, just be. Here’s to letting go of the past and embracing the future.

Namaste my friends.

[ms-fearless]

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON- I’ve never believed that more

I truly believe that there is a reason why people cross your path. Hardship will come and so will happiness. The hard times are here to provide us with a lesson. Maybe you're hurt or confused or perhaps just lost.. at times it may seem impossible to find but there will always be a silver lining. I personally know that I always overthink things. Maybe if I did this, or if that didn't happen, I should have, I could have.. those thoughts will eat you alive. Look at the experience and try to absorb the good and the bad and take what you've learned and put it to use somewhere else in your life.

Some people are meant to stay in your life, and others are there to provide you with a fresh perspective. Every person will awaken a different beast within you. Once your mind has been stretched by a new experience it will never go back to its old dimensions. So what have you learned? What can you take with you? I found myself alone in the middle of no where, and I think that’s when I really started to find myself. This is my life, and I've decided to live it on my own terms, following my own path and seeking to be independent. Maybe a lot of things went wrong but maybe that lead me to being the best possible version of myself. Once again like the lotus you will grow the most in muddy waters. We need to close our eyes and imagine the best possible versions of ourselves and let go of any part that doesn't allow us to grow. No one is going to save you, you have to save yourself. No one is going to give you anything, you've got to fight for it. Nobody knows what you want except for YOU, and no one will be as sorry as you if you don't get it. Pain doesn't just show up in our life for no reason, its a sign that our life needs to change. I have faith in the fact that god will wreck our plans when he sees our plans are about to wreck us. When I finally loved myself enough and realized what I deserved, I started leaving everything that wasn't healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and destructive habits- anything that kept me small. My judgement called it disloyal. now i see it as self-loving.

[ms-fearless]

DESTINY

i believe that “destiny” is not so unknowable…

so many people wonder how their life is going to turn out, where am i going to end up?

what will my ultimate legacy and contribution be? will i live a good life? will i have success? will i make it? will i have the wealth and success to achieve the things i want?

but often when people ask those things they say it from almost a distant powering place, as if they have no hand in their destiny, as if its all driven by fate, or luck or blessings. its driven by some of those things but i think that most of our life and where were going to end up comes down to 3 simple things…

decide who are you going to be? Don’t hope to end up one day as this magnificent, strong capable, beautiful, kind loving person. start living like that today so you become that. so who we become isn't an accident. it should be a purposeful intent. our days should be driven by the intention of who we are going to be. bring that character into the circumstances of our lives. we cant control everything in our lives but we can control our responses to them. we can dictate how we are going to be in each circumstance.

design each day. whats this day going to be about? whats going to get your attention? and what should not be getting your focus. because what ends up happening to most people is they lose 2-3 hours to distraction each day. maybe its 4 hours to tv and over a lifetime that could add up to a decade that could have been put towards other opportunities, like spending time with your family, to achieve your dreams, or to work a little harder for what you want.. wake up and decide what each day is going to be about. who are we going to reach out to instead of waiting for people to just simply respond to. if the first thing you do when you wake up is check your notifications or your newsfeed your always going to be in reaction to other peoples agendas.

[ms-fearless]

SEEING THE GLASS HALF EMPTY

begin by identifying those factors which lead to happiness and those factors that lead to suffering. by doing this, you can set about gradually eliminating those factors which lead to suffering and cultivating those which lead to happiness. we need to undergo a transformation of our attitude, out entire outlook and approach to living. if you maintain a feeling of compassion, loving kindness, then something automatically opens your inner door. through that, you can communicate much more easily with people. and that feelings of warmth creates a kind of openness. you’ll find that all human beings are just like you, so you’ll be bale to relate to them more easily. consider negative states of mind such as jealousy, hatred, anger as harmful because they destroy our mental happiness. once you create these feelings towards others you yourself are filled with negative emotions towards others and they appear hostile. as a result there is more fear, greater inhibition and hesitation, and a sense of insecurity.

[ms-fearless]

GRATITIUDE

my productivity is completely predicated on the gratitude of the things that ive just been naturally gifted with, such as focus, understanding that its either a blessing or a lesson, and HUSTLE. my set of talents are really the raw material for my life, and i dedicate myself to being better every single day so i can be able  communicate with people a certain way. the gratitude of the place i live, the parents that want absolutely nothing but the best for me and my ultimate happiness. anything i dream or desire i can obtain and i have my mother backing me the entire time. so ive been given so many opportunities that its up to me to do something with it, i would almost feel guilty to not take advantage of the set of circumstances that i have in front of me that even make it possible to do something outstanding/different

[ms-fearless]

OUR BRAIN IS LIKE A CIRCUIT SWITCH

once you believe you are something you actually embody it

if you were god forbid in a coma and you woke up but didn't really have a memory and were told you were a navy seal and they want you back when you're healthy your mindset, the way you act and your self concept would be totally different than if you were told you were a piano instructor. being successful in life is all about having the proper belief system in who you are.

if you believe you are something unique you will hold yourself totally different than if you say “i hope I'm good.” if you’re unsure about who you are your goals will never become a reality. so, if we introduce the right concepts into our minds and change our paradigms we’ll go straight to our targets.

the great people we look up to have a different mindset. we need to introduce different concepts into our minds so when we have those daily distractions we can stay focused on what we want. think about what you're thinking about when your effort is low. you’re probably not thinking about the opportunity you're probably thinking about the obligation.

how do we stay strong and stay focused? we need to be constantly thinking about the opportunity. not the things we’re forced to do, everyday when you wake up think IM ALIVE. change your mentality and be excited that you have an opportunity.

we all have mental blocks and internal conflicts but the great dont live there. its how you handle those thoughts in that moment and overwhelm them with positive action. you need to trust in yourself and realize you are better than the moment.

whats the difference between someone who wins in life and someone who loses?

what separates us? i think life responds to deserve, not what you want or what you need. if you want more you need to deserve more. how? you take action. take the right actions that are required of you to get what you want. make up for what you lack right now in talent, by boost in effort and giving more than everyone else.

stay consistent enough stay focused on your passion and you will win, keep working on it. dont move from side to side with every distraction, dont let it catch you.

dont let it take you away from your purpose, stay on the road to success.

stick through until you get the results you want, dont give up when you're half way through.

so, what do you deserve? you deserve exactly what you have right now, that’s what you've earned. if it was easy you wouldn't even appreciate it. you should welcome the challenge, the hustle the grind. if you want that ultimate goal, that passion, the vision.. if you want it to become real then welcome the struggle. thats when you appreciate your goals, through the struggle.

maybe everyone else is okay with your excuse for not making it become a reality but YOU can not be okay with your excuses and not making it to where you want to be in your life because you have to be willing to take responsibility for getting what you want.

life doesn't care about your excuses life cares about your results and so should you by

achieving your goals.

you have to invest in your dream more than anybody else. i think that people change when they say “ive had it, and i can do better than this.” theres more in you than what your life is reflecting right now. if you're the smartest one in your group you need a new group… fight for what you want and what you don't want will drift out of your way. fight for your peace of mind, fight for your freedom, a brighter/different tomorrow. what you want is out there, go get it. i refuse to live an un lived life. i want my life to count for something i want my work to mean something. i want to be able to control my own future and write my own cheques. so i constantly ask myself “what effort are you giving?”

[ms-fearless]

THE ART OF HAPPINESS

although there are no easy solutions to avoiding destructive pleasures, fortunately we have a place to begin: the simple reminder that all we are seeking in life is happiness. if we approach our choices in life keeping that in mind, it is easier to give up things that are ultimately harmful to us, even if those things bring us momentary pleasure. the reason why it is usually so difficult to just say no is found in the word itself, no. that approach is associated with a sense of rejecting something, of giving something up or depriving ourselves. but there is a better approach; framing any decision we face by asking ourselves, will this bring me happiness? that simple question can be a powerful tool in helping us skillfully conduct all areas of our lives, not just in the decision to indulge in drugs or that third piece of banana cream pie. it puts a new slant on things. approaching our daily decisions and choices with this question in mind shifts our focus from what we are denying ourselves to what we are actually seeking, ultimate happiness. a kind of happiness that is stable and consistent. a state of happiness that remains, despite life’s ups and downs and normal fluctuations of mood, as part of the very matrix of our being. with this perspective, its easier to make the right decision because we are acting to give ourselves something, not denying or withholding something from ourselves. an attitude of moving forward rather than moving away, an attitude of embracing life rather than rejecting it. this underlying sense of moving toward happiness can have a very profound effect, it makes us more receptive and more open, to the joy of living life.

[ms-fearless]

FAIL EARLY; FAIL OFTEN.

when you’re young the greatest asset it not your taken, not your ideas, not your experience.. but your time. time grants you the opportunity to take big risks and make big mistakes. dropping everything and travelling the world for 6 years or starting some random company you and your best friend dreamt up while you were high or packing up your 5 belongings and moving to another city to work with your cousin, you can only get away with these things when you're young and have nothing to lose.

chances are you aren't strapped down by all the financial responsibilities that come with later adulthood; mortgages, daycare for your kids…

this is the time in your life where you have the least amount to lose by taking some short term risks, so you should take them. the crazy love affair with some over the top romantic guy or the entrepreneurial joint venture your friend in Starbucks talked you into. its these experiences that will set you up for your life successes down the line. they are the best lessons of your life. so get learning.

[ms-fearless]

NO ONE ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT THE HELL THEY’RE DOING

There’s a lot of pressure on kids in school to know exactly what they're doing with their lives. it starts with choosing and getting into a university. Then it becomes choosing a career and landing that first job. Then it becomes about having a clear path to climb up a career ladder, getting as close as possible to the top. Then its getting married and having kids. If at any point you don’t know what you're doing or get distracted or fail a few times, you're made to think you've screwed up your entire life. But the truth is, almost nobody knows what the hell is going on and I’m fairly certain that continues on further into adulthood. Everyone is just working off their best guess. Ask any “successful” person where they thought they would be after graduating high school. My mom thought she was going to be a stay at home mom who did hairstyling part time around raising her kids while her husband was the bread winner taking care of all the rest.. She didn't even graduate high school, did hair for a few years.. Got divorced raised my brothers and I on her own and is now a entrepreneur, the bread winner, the man of the house doing anything and everything to create her best life.. all the obstacles she faced took her to where she is. It just happens, pay attention to opportunities and act on them. You'll probably fail drastically…but we’re young and we could use a few lessons.

[ms-fearless]

MOST PEOPLE IN LIFE WANT THE SAME THING

don’t ignore your dreams

don’t work too much

say what you think

cultivate friendships

be happy

[ms-fearless]

REMEMBER

At this age, everything is changing. Day by day we don’t notice, but just look back over the past year and you will realize everything is different. People you thought were going to be there forever aren’t, and people you never imagined you'd be speaking to are now some of your closest friends. Life makes little sense, and the more we grow the less sense it will make. so make the most of it now, before it all changes again, because in the near future, all of this is just going to be memories.

[ms-fearless]

CHOOSING HAPPINESS FOR TODAY

You've probably heard the saying, “life’s about the journey, not the destination.” Yet many of us are waiting for some goal to be reached, some status to be attained before we can begin enjoying our lives. we say things to ourselves like, “I will be happy when I get this job, or accumulate this amount of money or have this relationship.”

Happiness can only be found in the present moment, not at some imaginary place in the future.

You’re not supposed to accomplish all of your goals..

Spending a majority of your life in school conditions us to have an intense results-oriented focus about everything. You set out to do X, Y and Z whether you accomplish them or you don’t. If you do you're great, if you don’t… you fail.

But in your 20s I’ve learned that life doesn't actually work that way all the time. Sure, it’s nice to always have goals and have something to work towards but I’ve found that actually attaining all of these goals is beside the point. It’s what you learn along the way, what you're becoming and what sticks with you.

I sit down and write my goals, I've made significant progress with them but I’m actually really happy about how far I’ve come. As I’ve grown, I’ve discovered that some of my life goals I set for myself are not what I actually want, and setting these goals taught me what was not important to me in my life. With other goals, while I haven't attained them yet, the act of working towards them has taught me so much that I'm still working towards them. I’m firmly convinced that the whole point of goals is to get us off our asses and work towards something to give our lives purpose, they're just benchmarks to be constantly moving forward. The value of any endeavour almost always comes from the process of trying and failing, not in actually achieving.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to attain or achieve certain things, but if we make our happiness conditional on reaching certain destination points, our life will just become a series of goals to obtain. Living this way means missing out on the beauty of the journey, the one that is happening right now.

[ms-fearless]

Rushing into action, you fail. Trying to grasp things, you lose them. Forcing a project to completion, you ruin what was almost ripe. The Master takes action by letting things take their course. Remain as calm at the end as at the beginning. If you have nothing, You will have nothing to lose. Your main desire should be non-desire; and want to unlearn. Simply remind people of who they have always been. If you only care about nothing but the Tao, You can care for all things.

Tao 

[ms-fearless]

LIFE PURPOSE?

Most of us have no clue what we want to do with our lives. Even after we finish school. Even after we get a job. Even after we’re making money. Between ages 18 and 22, I changed career aspirations more often than I changed my underwear. Chances are you’re more like me and have no clue what you want to do. It’s a struggle almost every adult goes through. “What do I want to do with my life?” “What am I passionate about?” “What do I not suck at?” Part of the problem is the concept of “life purpose” itself. The idea that we were each born for some higher purpose and it’s now our cosmic mission to find it. Here’s the truth. We exist on this earth for some undetermined period of time. During that time we do things. Some of these things are important. Some of them are unimportant. And those important things give our lives meaning and happiness. The unimportant ones basically just kill time.

So when people say, “What should I do with my life?” or “What is my life purpose?” what they’re actually asking is: “What can I do with my time that is important?”

This is an infinitely better question to ask. It’s far more manageable and it doesn’t have all of the ridiculous baggage that the “life purpose” question does. There’s no reason for you to be contemplating the cosmic significance of your life while sitting on your couch all day eating Doritos. Rather, you should be getting off your ass and discovering what feels important to you.

These questions are by no means exhaustive or definitive. In fact, they’re a little bit ridiculous. But I made them that way because discovering purpose in our lives should be something that’s fun and interesting, not a chore.

1. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF SHIT SANDWICH AND DOES IT COME WITH AN OLIVE?

Ah, yes. The all-important question. What flavor of shit sandwich would you like to eat? Because here’s the sticky little truth about life that they don’t tell you at high school pep rallies:

Everything sucks, some of the time.

Now, that probably sounds incredibly pessimistic of me. And you may be thinking, “Hey Mr. Manson, turn that frown upside down.” But I actually think this is a liberating idea.

Everything involves sacrifice. Everything includes some sort of cost. Nothing is pleasurable or uplifting all of the time. So the question becomes: what struggle or sacrifice are you willing to tolerate? Ultimately, what determines our ability to stick with something we care about is our ability to handle the rough patches and ride out the inevitable rotten days.

If you want to be a brilliant tech entrepreneur, but you can’t handle failure, then you’re not going to make it far. If you want to be a professional artist, but you aren’t willing to see your work rejected hundreds, if not thousands of times, then you’re done before you start. If you want to be a hotshot court lawyer, but can’t stand the 80-hour workweeks, then I’ve got bad news for you.

turd-sandwichWhat unpleasant experiences are you able to handle? Are you able to stay up all night coding? Are you able to put off starting a family for 10 years? Are you able to have people laugh you off the stage over and over again until you get it right?

What shit sandwich do you want to eat? Because we all get served one eventually.

Might as well pick one with an olive.

2. WHAT IS TRUE ABOUT YOU TODAY THAT WOULD MAKE YOUR 8-YEAR-OLD SELF CRY?

When I was a child, I used to write stories. I used to sit in my room for hours by myself, writing away, about aliens, about superheroes, about great warriors, about my friends and family. Not because I wanted anyone to read it. Not because I wanted to impress my parents or teachers. But for the sheer joy of it.

And then, for some reason, I stopped. And I don’t remember why.

We all have a tendency to lose touch with what we loved as a child. Something about the social pressures of adolescence and professional pressures of young adulthood squeezes the passion out of us. We’re taught that the only reason to do something is if we’re somehow rewarded for it.

It wasn’t until I was in my mid-20s that I rediscovered how much I loved writing. And it wasn’t until I started my business that I remembered how much I enjoyed building websites — something I did in my early teens, just for fun.

The funny thing though, is that if my 8-year-old self had asked my 20-year-old self, “Why don’t you write anymore?” and I replied, “Because I’m not good at it,” or “Because nobody would read what I write,” or “Because you can’t make money doing that,” not only would I have been completely wrong, but that 8-year-old boy version of myself would have probably started crying.

3. WHAT MAKES YOU FORGET TO EAT AND POOP?

We’ve all had that experience where we get so wrapped up in something that minutes turn into hours and hours turn into “Holy crap, I forgot to have dinner.”

Supposedly, in his prime, Isaac Newton’s mother had to regularly come in and remind him to eat because he would go entire days so absorbed in his work that he would forget.

I used to be like that with video games. This probably wasn’t a good thing. In fact, for many years it was kind of a problem. I would sit and play video games instead of doing more important things like studying for an exam, or showering regularly, or speaking to other humans face-to-face.

It wasn’t until I gave up the games that I realized my passion wasn’t for the games themselves (although I do love them). My passion is for improvement, being good at something and then trying to get better. The games themselves — the graphics, the stories — they were cool, but I can easily live without them. It’s the competition — with others, but especially with myself — that I thrive on.

And when I applied that obsessiveness for improvement and self-competition to an internet business and to my writing, well, things took off in a big way.

Maybe for you, it’s something else. Maybe it’s organizing things efficiently, or getting lost in a fantasy world, or teaching somebody something, or solving technical problems. Whatever it is, don’t just look at the activities that keep you up all night, but look at the cognitive principles behind those activities that enthrall you. Because they can easily be applied elsewhere.

4. HOW CAN YOU BETTER EMBARRASS YOURSELF?

Before you are able to be good at something and do something important, you must first suck at something and have no clue what you’re doing. That’s pretty obvious. And in order to suck at something and have no clue what you’re doing, you must embarrass yourself in some shape or form, often repeatedly. And most people try to avoid embarrassing themselves, namely because it sucks.

Ergo, due to the transitive property of awesomeness, if you avoid anything that could potentially embarrass you, then you will never end up doing something that feels important.

Yes, it seems that once again, it all comes back to vulnerability.

Right now, there’s something you want to do, something you think about doing, something you fantasize about doing, yet you don’t do it. You have your reasons, no doubt. And you repeat these reasons to yourself ad infinitum.

But what are those reasons? Because I can tell you right now that if those reasons are based on what others would think, then you’re screwing yourself over big time.

If your reasons are something like, “I can’t start a business because spending time with my kids is more important to me,” or “Playing Starcraft all day would probably interfere with my music, and music is more important to me,” then OK. Sounds good.

But if your reasons are, “My parents would hate it,” or “My friends would make fun of me,” or “If I failed, I’d look like an idiot,” then chances are, you’re actually avoiding something you truly care about because caring about that thing is what scares the shit out of you, not what mom thinks or what Timmy next door says.

Great things are, by their very nature, unique and unconventional. Therefore, to achieve them, we must go against the herd mentality. And to do that is scary.

Embrace embarrassment. Feeling foolish is part of the path to achieving something important, something meaningful. The more a major life decision scares you, chances are the more you need to be doing it.

5. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO SAVE THE WORLD?

In case you haven’t seen the news lately, the world has a few problems. And by “a few problems,” what I really mean is, “everything is fucked and we’re all going to die.”

I’ve harped on this before, and the research also bears it out, but to live a happy and healthy life, we must hold on to values that are greater than our own pleasure or satisfaction.1

So pick a problem and start saving the world. There are plenty to choose from. Our screwed up education systems, economic development, domestic violence, mental health care, governmental corruption. Hell, I just saw an article this morning on sex trafficking in the US and it got me all riled up and wishing I could do something. It also ruined my breakfast.

Find a problem you care about and start solving it. Obviously, you’re not going to fix the world’s problems by yourself. But you can contribute and make a difference. And that feeling of making a difference is ultimately what’s most important for your own happiness and fulfillment.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “Gee Mark, I read all of this horrible stuff and I get all pissed off too, but that doesn’t translate to action, much less a new career path.”

Glad you asked…

6. GUN TO YOUR HEAD, IF YOU HAD TO LEAVE THE HOUSE ALL DAY, EVERY DAY, WHERE WOULD YOU GO AND WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

For many of us, the enemy is just old-fashioned complacency. We get into our routines. We distract ourselves. The couch is comfortable. The Doritos are cheesy. And nothing new happens.

This is a problem.

What most people don’t understand is that passion is the result of action, not the cause of it.

Discovering what you’re passionate about in life and what matters to you is a full-contact sport, a trial-and-error process. None of us know exactly how we feel about an activity until we actually do the activity.

So ask yourself, if someone put a gun to your head and forced you to leave your house every day for everything except for sleep, how would you choose to occupy yourself? And no, you can’t just go sit in a coffee shop and browse Facebook. You probably already do that. Let’s pretend there are no useless websites, no video games, no TV. You have to be outside of the house all day every day until it’s time to go to bed — where would you go and what would you do?

Sign up for a dance class? Join a book club? Go get another degree? Invent a new form of irrigation system that can save the thousands of children’s lives in rural Africa? Learn to hang glide?

What would you do with all of that time?

If it strikes your fancy, write down a few answers and then, you know, go out and actually do them. Bonus points if it involves embarrassing yourself.

7. IF YOU KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO DIE ONE YEAR FROM TODAY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO AND HOW WOULD YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED?

Most of us don’t like thinking about death. It freaks us out. But thinking about our own death surprisingly has a lot of practical advantages. One of those advantages is that it forces us to zero in on what’s actually important in our lives and what’s just frivolous and distracting.

When I was in college, I used to walk around and ask people, “If you had a year to live, what would you do?” As you can imagine, I was a huge hit at parties. A lot of people gave vague and boring answers. A few drinks were nearly spit on me. But it did cause people to really think about their lives in a different way and re-evaluate what their priorities were.

What is your legacy going to be? What are the stories people are going to tell when you’re gone? What is your obituary going to say? Is there anything to say at all? If not, what would you like it to say? How can you start working towards that today?

And again, if you fantasize about your obituary saying a bunch of badass shit that impresses a bunch of random other people, then again, you’re failing here.

When people feel like they have no sense of direction, no purpose in their life, it’s because they don’t know what’s important to them, they don’t know what their values are.

And when you don’t know what your values are, then you’re essentially taking on other people’s values and living other people’s priorities instead of your own. This is a one-way ticket to unhealthy relationships and eventual misery.

Discovering one’s “purpose” in life essentially boils down to finding those one or two things that are bigger than yourself, and bigger than those around you. And to find them you must get off your couch and act, and take the time to think beyond yourself, to think greater than yourself, and paradoxically, to imagine a world without yourself.