astrophilia 。

park sean soohwa. xxiv. toseong. head student & ta for dada.

[msusoohwa]

› educational purposes

heartbeathaeun​:

haeun was half expecting to be told she was going to have a new tutor effective immediately. something like a sex tape could warrant expulsion if the school saw fit. yet it seems the school took pity on them or was feeling kind. soohwa hadn’t been rescinded of his status of head student nor teacher’s assistant. which meant that come the next school day, she had a tutoring session with him.

she’s never seen actual sex before. of course, there were films with the gratuitous sex scenes that were so awkwardly shot that it left her feeling uncomfortable but those didn’t count. that viral video was only up for an hour or two at most but it had unfortunately reached her eyes. yes, haeun was ignorant when it came to sex in general but especially between those of the same sex. watching the video had filled her with curiosity, surprise (and horror when she saw it was people she knew.)

that being said there’s no easy way to look your tutor in the eye after you’ve seen his ….rod penetrate someone’s butt.

though she has no idea how tutoring will go today, she’s thankful that soohwa isn’t facing her when she opens the door to his office. she doesn’t think she can look him in the eyes. just hearing him speak brings her mind back to the video and how he treated hyunki and —

“sounds good!” she squeaks a little too loudly. her cheeks were heated with embarrassment. was intimacy like that meant to be seen by hundreds of students like that? it doesn’t seem like it was for anyone else to see. after all, hyunki had deleted it and the caption was meant to be of a cat.

(oh god do they do that in front of the cat?)

“i feel like i can do it a lot easier now,” she says, eyes now concentrated on the floor below her. it would be easier this way if she just didn’t look at soohwa the whole time. his voice was a lot to deal with. she could get through it this way. “i don’t feel bad anymore when i do it. so i think i’m getting better.”

apparently soohwa isn’t that lucky, because it’s easy to see that haeun has indeed watched the sex tape by the way she’s behaving. the head student knows that she’s probably trying her best to act natural with her tutor, but it isn’t hard to see how flustered she looks when soohwa finally turns around to look at her. haeun has always been shy, sure, but never this flustered, has never squeaked this loud no matter what soohwa said or did — especially when his own words were so innocent, so common between them. 

haeun is a good kid, soohwa knows that, especially when she’s trying for both of their sakes to not make this as awkward as it could be, to not pry even though he’s almost certain that she might have questions or at least a thing or two to say. it isn’t everyday (thank god) that your tutor is caught in a sex tape and as much as soohwa hates to be that kind of person because he strongly disliked judging people by their personality like that, didn’t like to assume such personal things, the dada ta wouldn’t be surprised if haeun was rather... inexperienced in that department. not that it’s a bad thing considering how soohwa himself was just the same just a couple of months ago, possibly would still be if not for hyunki — or if he hasn’t proposed their arrangement. he can’t judge her. 

but it can’t be denied that there is a huge elephant in the room, one that soohwa knows that will linger if neither of them mention and talk about it. it’ll only make things more and more awkward as time passes by and he really just wants people to finally get over it. of course he knows that haeun isn’t behaving like this because she actively wants to pry or is ready with one sex joke or two about the tape and soohwa. and he thinks that, well, he might as well take this opportunity for something educational. if haeun is as innocent as he thinks she is, it won’t do much harm if he gave her a little of sex education too — as much as he can anyway and, besides nothing can do more harm than her watching his sex tape anyway.

“so you’ve watched it.” soohwa says matter of factly, almost feels bad that he just ignored the hwaseong girl’s attempt of acting like nothing has changed between them, like soohwa didn’t have a sex tape leaked. “the sex tape, i mean.” 

even if his mind is already made, soohwa still hesitates a moment to actually follow his resolve, can’t help the small feeling of embarrassment that crawls under his skin. “you can ask about it if you want.” he sighs. “or say whatever you have to say. we might as well just get this over with.”  

[msusoohwa]

yoonsmols​:

“oh?” hyunki slowly lowers the chips back into his lap, and doesn’t say a word. 

maybe this is it. maybe this is soohwa deciding that he’s done with the other, no longer wants to put up with the mess he’s created for the two of them. maybe he’s finally decided that hyunki isn’t worth it, isn’t as great of a prize now that he’s almost got him. 

which is silly because he knows soohwa would never think like that and even as much as he’s still scared to admit it, knows that he’s it for soohwa. 

then he considers that must not be it, it can’t be it, not with how he buries his face in the other’s shoulder and holds him closer. 

and all that build up, all that confusion and worry that soohwa was actually upset with him for some reason, some real reason, vanishes. it just poofs into thin air and leaving him laughing because once he catches what he’s grumbling about– well, it’s absurd. 

hyunki sits back, forces the other to let go of him just so he can turn to face him. the movie is long forgotten in the background, just like usual, and he almost spills the chips all over the blanket, but it’s just so silly. 

“park soohwa.” hyunki starts, amusement bright in his eyes even if he’s trying to hold back his giggles. the thought of him attending the ball with anyone else is so outlandish that he’s surprised the toseong student has even come up with it. and it’s not like he even cares if he goes. 

sure, once upon a time he would be in a tizzy if he didn’t have a date by this time, and one well planned hook up, but now it’s no big deal. at least, not to him. hyunki had even played with the idea of not attending at all. 

“i don’t really think i should have to ask the man who i was caught fucking if he wants to attend the yule ball with me. i think it might be a little off color to go with anyone else, don’t you?” he hadn’t even considered being on anyone else’s arm for the night. “i figured it was sort of implied that if i was to go, it would be with you.” 

soohwa was already preparing himself to hear a no, to have hyunki laughing at him because of course he wasn’t going to soohwa to the yule ball and maybe this was his way of sparring the head student’s feelings, as if not bringing it up and pretending it wasn’t even a thing until the inevitable letting soohwa know perhaps a couple of hours before the ball that he was going with someone else and maybe then soohwa could pretend that he never intended to go the end of year event anyway, even if he was a head student and could already see how the staff would encourage him to go because of it, even if it’s just to have an extra eye on the students and help out with whatever they needed him to. 

that’s why when hyunki laughs, soohwa isn’t exactly surprised, perhaps a little hurt and even more anxious trying to prepare himself for rejection, for whatever the next words that hyunki has to say to him. he glares at the other. “don’t laugh at me.” he complains, almost with a pout.  the grad student doesn’t look at the other, scared of what he’s going to find in there. and that’s why he’s so surprised when hyunki isn’t rejecting him, isn’t telling him that actually he was thinking about going with someone else, like— like— 

he feels a little silly now, because of course. but at the same time, soohwa does feel like he has some right to be annoyed because it isn’t like he wanted to assume, because there is going to be a little seed of uncertainty, especially when they’re in this limbo of getting serious with each other but not exactly boyfriends. they’ve been caught fucking — very intensively, soohwa can’t help but add, at least in a more intense way than they normally would —, comforted each other and had a very long heart to heart about their feelings. but then soohwa remembers halloween, even if they weren’t even half as sincere about their feelings like they were now and a sex tape wasn’t involved, they still had planned to go together, they were matching, soohwa wore a skirt for the geumseong student, and hyunki not only met other people, but he also definitely had some fun with them. so how can soohwa be certain? how could he assume?

“i wouldn’t have liked if you went with someone else.” and it’s a little easier to admit it now, when they know a little better where they stand, especially because soohwa doesn’t feel as guilty about feeling that as he normally would. he holds hyunki’s hands, presses a soft kiss to each knuckle. “but i didn’t want to assume. you do know i like confirmation.” he admits as softly. “after all, it could be the halloween party all over again.” soohwa sends a pointed look to hyunki so the other knows exactly what he’s talking about, but there’s also a hint of playfulness in there. the head student is just teasing and it shows how it’s hard to hold back the small twitch on the corner of his lips that is clearly trying to form a smirk. 

then there’s this pause where soohwa is just admiring how their hands look together, the fascinating fact that he and hyunki are almost the same height but hyunki’s fingers are much shorter and even a little chubby while soohwa’s are long and slender, full of callouses from studying too much plus his overpracticing of quidditch, but the important thing, the most important thing is that they still fit together rather nicely— perfectly if soohwa has any saying in it and he knows a thing or two about perfection. “with that said,” he guides hyunki’s hands to the back of his neck, makes him wrap his arms around the head students neck and then soohwa is pulling the other gently to his lap, his own arms wrapping around the geumseong prefect’s waist and presses a soft kiss on hyunki’s jaw, and then his cheek.

“kim hyunki,” soohwa calls the other fondly, pressing a soft kiss to his lips now. “would you like to go to the yule ball with me?” 

[msusoohwa]

yoonsmols​:

he was tentative, letting himself get so close to soohwa again, but hyunki presumed it was inevitable. not only did he lie to the school board and say that they were dating, but he was then forced to out himself of the fact that, as much as he pushed and pushed in the beginning, dating soohwa didn’t seem as scary and terrifying as it once used to be. 

of course, he still not stupid, past actions aside, he knows jumping into a shotgun relationship like this would have been stupid, reckless and that’s why he comes semi clean, as clean as he needs to. he admitted to soohwa that no, he hadn’t been sleeping with anyone in the past month or so, alec aside. 

as friendly as they were, even their usual nights spend together have dwindled down to none. 

but it gets comfortable, well– as comfortable as it can with the other. he’s not as secretive about it either, doesn’t feel like he has to be now, in the least pleasing of ways. so he even brings his cat over to the head boy’s dorm (because he’s still head boy. hyunki made sure that would not be taken away, at the sacrifice of his own status, of course.) and more or less, they fall back into their routine, maybe with a little less sex, but it’s something he can live with. 

and soohwa has been less picky with him, less huffy and puffy now that he isn’t so worried about his jealousy and hyunki making his way into other people’s beds. no, he was very comfortable curled up in the other’s covers, bag of chips carefully cradled in his arms as he gives the movie his full attention. 

“huh– oh, yeah, sure.” the chips. he has to be talking about the chips. hyunki holds the bag up, not taking his eyes off the screen, but when he recives no response, no crinkling of the bag, he looks towards the other, confusion written on his face. “you… didn’t want the chips?” 

soohwa frowns even more, can feel his annoyance increasing with hyunki when the other seems still to be clueless to what he’s talking about and oh so innocently offers him the chips instead — even if the other does look cute looking up to him but that’s just beside the point. in a not so mature way, soohwa frowns at the bag of food like it personally offends him (and it does in a way. sort of. just a little bit, but then soohwa’s in a mood that just everything offends him personally so there’s that). and then his glare turns to hyunki even just for a moment, because his eyes soften up almost right away when he sees that the other is looking back at him, looking genuinely confused instead of just playing innocent. 

to be honest, their feelings being brought up like that is as much of a blessing as it is a small curse because it seems like a switch was turned on soohwa’s whole demeanor. it gets harder to get annoyed at hyunki and stay that way, to keep his glares and snappy bordering on mean remarks around the other, like the part of soohwa that was always in denial about his feelings, the only part that even remotely helped the head student in keeping the pretense that they were just friends if not less, finally just accepted that soohwa can’t ever be actually mean at hyunki, never be mad at him as he would with anyone else. like it just accepted that soohwa will always be soft with the other and won’t let him even pretend otherwise now. 

(or maybe it’s because the memory of hyunki falling apart is still too fresh on his mind, how the other was so terrified of the possibility of soohwa hating him and he just never wants to see that again, would despise himself if he ever did anything to make hyunki believe that)

that’s why soohwa looks at the tv again, since he can actually glare at it like he wants to, even if he does squeeze hyunki and snuggles a little more on him, like a spoiled kid throwing a fit and trying their best to not show that they’re actually being pacified by whatever the other person is doing. “i’m not talking about the chips.” he replies grumpily, has to hold back the urge to call them stupid because even he can recognize how childish it’d sound.

the head student lets two beats of silence pass between them, feeling his cheeks heating up due to the humiliation starting to fill his chest. he didn’t want to admit this out loud, didn’t want to say it just to be rejected, just for hyunki to throw at his face that he’s going to the yule ball with someone else (probably alec if he had to take a guess), he feels his pride crumbling just thinking about the possibility of saying that out loud, for pouting about this, maybe his parents are right, maybe he’s always whining for attention, always begging for it because he’s—

but it’s sort of worse, isn’t it? a part of his brain promptly argues a little louder, starting something and not finishing it. soohwa shifts again, just enough so he can hide his face on hyunki’s neck, not to kiss it like he normally would but he just lets his head rest on the other’s shoulder, close enough that his blush is hidden from hyunki’s eyes. “yule ball.” he finally speaks out — or more like mumbles. “you’re not going to ask me to go with you to the yule ball. you didn’t— you— are you going with someone else?” 

[jimimon-deactivated20220412]

platinum 💫

[spaacemusings]

                                         stars kiss my palms and whisper                                                   “take care my love,                                              all bright things must burn.”

[msusoohwa]

› silver linings

leealec​:

alec could see it all, even if people didn’t really believe he was observing and there he was, all eyes were on the situation that would unfold right before them and he would wait, watch and learn just then take an action, make a comment and catch everyone with surprise; a handful would believe he wasn’t even paying attention, while others most likely would judge him for his ever remarkable comments.

he didn’t care - neither was searching for approval, nor cared about what people could comment, he just wanted them to know he knew what was going on.

just like the whole hyunki and soohwa situation.

he was aware he was in the middle of something that started between the two students. his unspoken commitment to the geumseong student consisted on both of them having fun, no strings attached, until one of them would finally get exclusive with someone else. alec also had eyes and learned pretty fast how hyunki would most likely never admit the toseong student was more than fun; which led them to the point where he would get pretty weird stares coming from the head boy towards him, as if alec should just take a hint and quit things with hyunki.

however, hyunki and alec had a great dynamic going on: for a fact they weren’t lovers but they were indeed sexually involved and cared about each other. there were times when they would just spend the night talking and making out; they were friends that slept together sometimes, even if people doubted something other than that happened between them.

so it was understandable that soohwa would feel the way alec thought he felt about the two of them. but again, it wasn’t his problem - he would wait for hyunki to make a move and then he would step back.

however, he had eyes and the whole fiasco involving the sex tape and how the geumseong acted just made alec make the first move. it was true that their interaction during halloween had also been incredibly weird and the suseong almost thought of giving up but the recent events made him more inclined to try again.

the texts and invitation weren’t just an act and he truly wanted to offer a safe spot for soohwa to stop being questioned and/or attacked online for something he had no control over. when he heard the knock on his door, alec was surprisingly nervous, as he threw one last glance at the table, pizza boxes and red wine decorating it, finally opening the door.

“finally i have your cute ass all to myself.” he joked, a smile teasing his lips as he tried to break the ice between them already. “come in toseong.”

soohwa is definitely not used to alec being so flirty and playful with him, joking around about his ass being cute or anything related to that. it’s still a process to get used to the idea of him and alec being friendly with each other, it’s still a process to soohwa to not relate alec automatically to hyunki and then get sulky about it. it’s definitely better than what it was before the halloween and sex tape fiasco, but it’s not quite there for soohwa to be completely comfortable yet, to be able to completely relax around the other. to be able to simply roll his eyes at the other and make a remark of his own like he would with anyone else. soohwa still needs to hold himself back, to remind himself that alec is a friend, to be nice to the other because the suseong student is simply being nice to him, more than nice considering that someone nice wouldn’t simply offer their room like that when soohwa was in need of some escapade. 

“it’s not that cute.” is what soohwa can say, his cheeks turning into a light pink. he’ll never really understand what is the thing with his ass, maybe it’s just the way the other is, how he plays around with other people and it isn’t like he actually thinks that soohwa’s butt is that cute. that definitely comforts the head student a little. it’s better than thinking that the other actually thinks that he’s attractive, or a part of him anyway. 

he gets into the other’s dorm and soohwa can’t help but feel a little touched that the other indeed arranged food and some nice wine for their evening especially when soohwa asked him to come over in such short notice. to be honest, the toseong student was actually thinking that alec wouldn’t even be there. that the other would just leave soohwa alone for a while on his dorm and then soohwa would leave as soon as the other decided to come back, so he was beyond surprised when alec actually suggested them to get some pizza and wine so they could unwind together, or maybe alec would shut him down when soohwa actually took his offer up, tell him that he didn’t actually mean it or make up an excuse that soohwa couldn’t come over and of course the toseong student wouldn’t try it again. maybe this is the last push that they both need, that soohwa needs to stop being a jerk to alec and maybe, perhaps, they could even be friends. or just something better than what they are right now. 

“thanks again.” soohwa knows he should thank the other and well, the least he can do is be polite and show his gratitude, right? “for this.” he makes a gesture to the dorm room and the pizza with the alcohol, and even if it’s a little stiffy, his gratitude is genuine. he leaves his backpack gently on the floor, mindful that there’s a bottle of whiskey in it and it won’t be fun if it ends up breaking and spilling the alcoholic beverage all over it. “you didn’t have to, but you did anyway so thanks.” 

“i also brought whiskey.” he clears his throat, moves to take it out of his backpack. “we don’t have to drink it now or ever, it’s just a present.” and alec probably doesn’t know about how soohwa is very possessive with his whiskeys, won’t give them out for just anyway especially one this good and that he hasn’t opened it. “if it’s ok of course, if it’s not your thing, that’s fine too.” and he’s blushing again, more flustered and nervous than anything since he just isn’t used to this kind of situation with alec. 

[msusoohwa]

› safe haven

shintaeyeonnie​:

     it was definitely a situation she’d never thought to be in… never… NEVER. — but , accidents happen right? and as much as she’d like to think of soohwa as an older brother was innocent and never had sex , that image was now tarnished.. not that there was anything wrong with him having sex , if anyone deserves to have some fun , it’s the older —– but did she really need to witness it with her own two eyes? or even… hear it? it was a thought you went ‘ uhghhh ’ while shivering at. 

     once the initial… shock had settled down and taeyeon could wrap her head around the situation the man had found himself into , she thought about how it wouldn’t have been the easiest thing to deal with. world travels a little too fast around school and it was obvious that people were already talking about.. the incident. although , that’s just dumb gossip , it always passes

     but then his parents were mentioned and the senior knew nothing good ever came out of that situation. no matter how oblivious the older was to their… methods , taeyeon had some experience in the bad parental figure department and she knew. —- noteworthy to point out that soohwa was always the ideal son , at least that’s what it seemed like to her , so whoever didn’t see that? automatically is put on her questionable human being list. 

     the sounds of foot tapping and pen-clicking echoing through her room as the beater clouded the anticipation of waiting to finally see the man with a thick textbook about potions that was glanced at but never really paid attention to. every time the head boy had a conversation with his parents , it hardly ever ended well and the mere thought of one of her closest friends in a situation of struggle left a jittery feeling through her skin. so much so that the sound of the knock was enough to startle the girl before she took a second to compose herself and head towards opening the door , an audible sigh of relief to finally see the older. ( we’re not going to think about the last time she saw him was through the screen of her phone and he was… NOPE. not thinking about that !! ) 

      once past that moment , taeyeon didn’t need to ask how he was feeling because the visible indicators of just how much this had affected him were clearly there and it did break her heart a little. he really didn’t deserve any of this because he didn’t do anything wrong. “ shut up.. ” her voice is soft , hardly rude as the words seemed to have been but come on , when did soohwa need permission to come see her? taking his hand , she lead the older inside her room and sat him down on the sofa before heading off to get her company a glass of water. “ besides , i asked you to come see me anyway. ” taking the empty spot beside him , the girl handed over the glass and made sure he drank some of it. “ are your parents still there? are you finally going to give me the permission to go beat them up? ” a warm smile as she tried to lighten the mood before closer to the boy to take a closer look at him. “ what happened? ”

taeyeon has always been familiar, the kind of familiar that when she went missing back in hogwarts it felt like a piece was missing from soohwa, the kind of familiar that had him not being able to breath properly until he was reunited with her again in mokseong. and having this moment with her, even when the situation isn’t exactly the best, even if they can exactly just sit on taeyeon’s couch and enjoy a movie or a much more relaxed and normal hang out between friends considering that soohwa has just leaked his sex tape and he needed someone to comfort him after having a talk with his parents about said sex tape. 

just remembering it makes soohwa feel uncomfortable all over again, anxious and tense, even if he had managed to relax a little even with just seeing taeyeon, with her simply dragging him inside and offering a glass of water that he drinks diligently because he knows that she won’t let him not drink it anyway. 

usually when someone talks about about his parents or threatens to beat him up (something that soohwa has heard quite often every time he makes certain comments about the way they raised him or what they said the last time he talked to them), soohwa gets much more defensive, won’t tolerate anyone breathing a sound to talk bad about them because to the head student they’re his role models, untouched deities that he can only hope to achieve their levels someday, because they’re his parents and soohwa loves them even if most people would argue that their relationship isn’t healthy. but not taeyeon. with taeyeon soohwa can only fondly roll his eyes and take another sip of his water. “they didn’t come here. we just talked through the phone.” the head student pointedly leaves out the part where they said they refused to spend a single penny to go see such a disgraceful son. “so it isn’t like you could beat them up anyway.” he adds playfully even if his tone is still a little more tired than usual. 

“they—” he sighs heavily, lets his back rest on the back of the couch, cuts himself off while trying to think how he should even start this. “i guess it could be worse? they didn’t disown me at least.” he plays a little with the cup of glass, swirling the small amount of water still in it and not really looking at taeyeon, can feel his eyes stinging with tears even if he’s still trying his best to hold them back. “they just talked. a lot. said that they didn’t expect a lot of me anyway, but this was beyond anything they could imagine, that i was clearly being a waste of their family name if i had time to whore myself out like that.” 

“that—” he chews his lower lip, lowers his voice to a soft mumble. he doesn’t want to say all those things again, but he knows that if he doesn’t share them with taeyeon then he won’t share it with anyone else and he needs to share it, to let it out for at least someone. “that they should have seen it coming considering how i always was whining for attention, begging for it and then when i couldn’t get it from them then i just went to wherever i could get it.”

“they— uh—” he clears his throat, tries to swallow the lump on his throat. “they also said if they knew they had given birth to whore, they’d have had another kid by now, someone who could really inherit the family name better than i ever could. and then they’d raise like i truly deserve, like the—” a shaky breath, his voice so low and soft that it’d be a surprise if taeyeon actually hears what he’s saying. “the bitch in heat that i am.”

[msusoohwa]

› educational purposes

@heartbeathaeun

soohwa does tries his best to pretend that the sex tape wasn’t a thing. as much as he wants to just curl up on his bed (preferentially with hyunki) and just wait this out, he knows he can’t. after all, the toseong student has just been given a second chance as the head student, his professor didn’t give him much of a scolding as he thought he’d receive saying that soohwa has always been a good kid, an exceptional ta and it’d be too weird if he didn’t slip up at least once — even if soohwa is almost sure that his professor didn’t mean a sex tape when he mentioned slip ups — so he needs to prove to them that he’s still worthy of being a head student and a ta, that they’re not wrong in putting those responsibilities on his back and that he’s going to go through his duties no matter what.

which included, for better or worse, his tutoring sessions. 

which included, for better or worse, meeting haeun again. 

just like hana and taeyeon, there’s a small hope that maybe haeun hasn’t seen the video, definitely has heard of it of course but hopefully after hyunki deleted the incident or in the worst case scenario, she has clicked the link, saw just enough to realize what it was about and then closed the video and soohwa clings to that hope like a drowning man clings to the few amounts of oxygen that they can get because he needs this to be able to force himself to go to their tutoring session, to get what he planned for their time together and have enough guts to look at haeun in the ends. 

he’s finishing setting up the dummy they use for their practice when he hears the door opening. “haeun-sshi,” he doesn’t turn to her quite yet, deciding to finish that first before doing so. “i was thinking we could revisit expelliarmus as a warm up exercise today.” 

[msusoohwa]

jamiemsu​:

[ text to :  boss man park 😬  ]

✉ : don’t worry i’ll make fun of you when i’ve made sure you’re okay <3 ✉ : people post dumb things all the time.. by accident or not and its an honest mistake so could be done by anyone honestly  ✉ : also i don’t think people will tease the head boy too much pretty sure they’re still scared of you  ✉ : i heard hyunki got benched from the quidditch team.. i was so mad and tried talking to jihoon oppa but he said it wasn’t entirely his decision… it came from above  ✉ : but he did say he’ll talk to them about it again soon!!!! ✉ : you can’t take it back i have PROOF HA ;) ✉ : I’M NOT GOING TO MAKE A SEX TAPE DON’T WORRY

〈 sms › › › the insufferable dada ta 〉 ⤷ i feel like i should get annoyed by this but i don’t have energy even for that ⤷ i don’t... i don’t think they go as far as to leak a sex tape, but thanks i guess ⤷ i’m pretty sure i got 100% less scary now that they’ve seen my dick though  ⤷ yeah, but at least he’s not kicked out of the team forever, just until the end of this season ⤷ as i thought, there wouldn’t be much of a help anyway, but thanks for trying ⤷ i’m deleting those messages right now, what proof are you talking about ⤷ GOOD. one ta with a leaked sex tape is already enough, we don’t need two.

[msusoohwa]

msutaeyeon​:

[  text to :  soohwa 🥰  ]

✉ : OH MY GOD???? I DIDN’T NEED THAT PIECE OF INFORMATION???? ✉  i didn’t really… watch it…. but if you’re happy…  ✉ : i guess that’s what matters the most ✉ : wait your parents?  ✉ : soohwa….. can you just.. not meet them? ✉ :  hmm come see me when you can? 

〈 sms › › › taeyeon ✨ 〉 ⤷ I’M SORRY I ⤷ i’ll just let this die because i feel if i say more i’ll give you more information you really don’t need to know ⤷ you know in the middle of all this mess at least a small mercy ⤷ i really don’t know what i’d do if you’ve watched it ⤷ i wish i could avoid them, but they know my schedule and it’s probably going to make things worse if i just avoid them.  ⤷ it’s just a phone call, it can’t... it can’t be that bad, right? maybe it’s not even about this. maybe they just want me to join a club or something like that.  ⤷ sure.  ⤷ but i think i’ll stay with hyunki for a little longer at least. it has shaken us up pretty bad and it just don’t feel right to stay away from him.

[msusoohwa]

› can i have this dance

@yoonsmols

don’t get him wrong, soohwa is happy with his and hyunki’s development after the whole sex tape fiasco, even with the dreadful talk with his parents, even with them being the hot topic through university even now, even if his head student position was threatened and soohwa almost died because of it (not quite literally, but that’s what it felt like), even with so many negative things coming out of it, soohwa is glad. a little bit. because it meant that hyunki and him finally sat down to talk their feelings out, to clarify certain things that were left ambiguous on purpose because sorting them out could mean that they wouldn’t be together anymore even if that together was messy. 

don’t get him wrong, soohwa is happy about being one step closer to hyunki, is happy with their being exclusive but not exactly dating. he is. 

he is.

what he isn’t happy about, however, is that hyunki hasn’t said a single thing about the yule ball even when soohwa had tried to bring it up (and failed it himself but listen, soohwa isn’t the one with social skills in this relationship, it’s clearly the geumseong prefect that does), hyunki seemed pretty content with things the way they are, but soohwa thought— he thought that maybe they’d go together to the yule ball, it seems pretty obvious, but the toseong student was insecure liked confirmation, wouldn’t be lying if he said he was expecting hyunki to ask him to go with him, even it’d be just a casual question or some search of confirmation like we’re going together, right?

but time passes by and nothing happens. hyunki still spends more time in soohwa’s dorm than his own (which of course the head student isn’t complaining) and they just do the things they usually do, watch movies together, cuddle, make out sometimes — don’t have explore sex ever since the sex tape since it sort of feels weird now, at least for now — and it almost seems like there’s no big school event that requires a student to get a date. well, almost, because here he is soohwa in a shitty mood again because he’s expecting something that he isn’t getting.

(or as much in a shitty mood he can ever get when hyunki is cuddling with him which to be fair isn’t a lot, but that’s jut beside the point). 

“so you’re not going to ask me.” soohwa finally says something, tone clearly annoyed and his lips pressed in a thin line. 

[msusoohwa]

› silver linings

@msualec

if someone told soohwa that he’d text alec asking if he could come over because everywhere else that is familiar to him feels too suffocating, with too many prying eyes and malicious whispers, the head student would scowl at them, threaten to take away some points of their houses for the absurd that they’re saying. after all, soohwa doesn’t like alec, was never too comfortable with him. he knows it’s definitely a dick move from his part because the other has never done anything to him, has never picked up a fight with him, they have barely spoken to each other despite the halloween incident. there was barely any opportunity for alec to do anything bad towards him anyway.

but they have this big factor in common and that was what bothered him. soohwa never alleged he was a nice person, that he was selfless and understood his boundaries to the point of controlling his feelings about them. he’s a very jealous person, bordering on a hint of possessive. he’s selfish and doesn’t like to share, even if what it isn’t his place to decide that. hyunki and him are complicated, perhaps a little less now (surprisingly) after the sex tape, they’re a little sure of certain things now that settle soohwa’s heart a little more, even if it’s not quite perfect yet. 

soohwa knows about alec, probably more than he wanted to. he knows he’s friends with hyunki, that they do a little more than what normal “friends” do, he’s vaguely aware that a lot of times when hyunki would show up at his door on sunday with hickeys all over his neck and chest, they could only have been made by one person. and if that physical connection wasn’t enough, alec and hyunki look good together, the suseong student a much more social and easygoing person than soohwa could ever be. he knows that alec would be a better person for hyunki in every aspect, he sees potential in them as a couple and soohwa— he hates it, tries his best to swallow it down and deal with it but it doesn’t make him hate it any less. 

until, of course, the sex tape scandal exploded and alec was... nothing but nice, despite the comments about his ass that soohwa is still trying to recover from, and maybe it’s because he’s in a more vulnerable spot, especially after the talk with his parents, that his heart could have opened a little more to the other, enough that here he is, knocking on alec’s door with his favorite whiskey hidden in his backpack because soohwa needs a distraction, needs a new place to breath a little. “it’s me, soohwa.” he says a little louder after the knocking to identify himself. 

[msusoohwa]

› safe haven

@msutaeyeon

now that most consequences of the leak of his intimate video have happened, soohwa thinks that overall the worst thing about this was the talk with his parents. after all, he’s sure that the whispers about him and hyunki will die down eventually. he’s sure that something else will happen that will draw the campus gossip to it — maybe not something as big as a sex tape, but something for sure — so there’s nothing to do about that besides waiting, he was still able to keep his head student status since hyunki took the fall for them and in the end soohwa was left off with a warning. it was a scare for sure, but just enough for soohwa to want to prove to them that he’s still a very capable head student, just enough for soohwa to work even harder to keep his position. 

so considering how he was certain he was going to lose everything, perhaps in the worst scenario, be expelled from mokseong, everything went smoothly. 

mostly. but not everything.

it isn’t like soohwa was expecting a nice conversation with his parents, he knows them better than anyone else and having their son caught in a sex tape for the whole university and who knows who else would never really sit well with them, but it still hurt to sit there and listen to them talking about how he had disappointed them in a way that they never thought they would be, to go into detail about how exactly he just tarnished a reputation of generations, calling him names for getting caught up with someone who isn’t even his boyfriend that he let something like this happen. even after being comforted by the hyunki, it’s not a wound who heals easily and he knows that it’ll be hurting, open and ugly, for a while, possibly a long while. he knows that it’ll be coming and going, that he might be fine in a moment but then be upset in the next because of this. 

but it isn’t like the world was going to stop just because he was upset. in fact, he had promised to visit taeyeon as soon as he could — the after talking to his parents is definitely implicit in there —, and that’s why he’s at her door now, knocking on it, even if a part of him still wanted to hide from the world until this whole thing was forgotten, until he didn’t need to walk around the campus hearing whispering behind his back, people giving him weird looks when they think he isn’t paying attention. it makes soohwa want to crawl under his skin, but he’s still the head student, still has some of his pride left so he won’t show them how affected he actually is by this, will pretend nothing happened even if his appearance might say otherwise, from his whole demeanor seeming a little milder, almost shyer to the redness of the corner of his eyes from when he was trying not to cry, how his bottom lip is chewed from nerves and anxiety. 

just when the door opens that soohwa remembers that he hasn’t texted taeyeon to let her know when exactly he was coming over, it completely slipped his mind and that’s why the first thing that he says is “hi, sorry for dropping by without warning. i can always come back later if you’re busy.”  

[msusoohwa]

› tables turned

@msuselene

as much as all the trips that he has made to the hospital wing might suggest, soohwa doesn’t like to be taken care of, actually hates every and any time he had to go to the hospital wing, even if he claimed he was more than ok or that he’d be ok after finishing this one last assignment because he has a schedule to follow. it’s bad enough that he had rearranged his sunday so he could spend time with hyunki, especially now that they spend most if not all the day together, especially when sometimes hyunki comes over when it’s not a sunday and soohwa ends up not studying as much that day as he usually does — which is good in a way, breaks away his bad routine that is a little inhuman, only if soohwa didn’t feel like he needed to compensate for those “wasted” hours later. 

his point is that he just doesn’t have the time to be collapsing like this, to be wasted not studying, doesn’t have the luxury of a break until his stupidly high goal is met. he’s one of the head students, he graduated in the top 3 of hogwarts, he’s supposed to be the greatest auror in his family yet. he has a reputation to keep, a high gpa to maintain.

or maybe that’s why he’s once again in the hospital wing, laid down in a hospital bed, just waiting for someone to come check up on him. he remembers being on his professor’s office, taking advantage that it’s a quiet place and it’s not everyone who goes there often to finish this paper that was late (for his own standards) and then he just remembers waking up already in the hospital wing. maybe it was the professor themself who brought soohwa or a student who went in to the office possibly looking for some advice or help with some assignment and found him there, had the kind heart to bring him in. 

even if soohwa feels a little embarrassed for showing such a vulnerable side of him, for showing anything that isn’t the strict head student that he is, the toseong grad student can admit that it’s a kind act, probably should try to find them later to show his thanks. 

he sighs heavily, still with the very characteristic headache that he gets whenever he’s exhausted and wonders if maybe they’ll let him go after giving him some aspirin or some potion for it instead of insisting for him to rest like a certain pre-med student always does whenever she’s in charge of him. he hopes for it, even if just a little, but that is not after dismissed when he sees who exactly is coming to his hospital bed. “in my defense,” he starts, even if he doesn’t have a defense at all. “i ate breakfast this time.” about almost eight hours ago, just a protein bar because he couldn’t be bothered with something else. and as always, he doesn’t comment about that nor about how he also skipped lunch because he couldn’t be bothered with that either.

[msusoohwa]

msufriday​:

[ 11:48 ] 💬 WELL WAKE UP!! [ 11:48 ] 💬 YOUR NAUGHTIES ARE ON THE INTERNET!  [ 11:49 ] 💬 oh oppa…. oh *oppa* [ 11:49 ] 💬 not sure how many are there, but everyone’s been forwarding me the same link lmao [ 11:50 ] 💬 honestly i would’ve thought it’d be me before it’d be you to drop something like this 😂 [ 11:50 ] 💬 you need to talk to your *not* boy, he better take responsibility for this 👺

〈 sms › › › friday 🐣 〉 ⤷ clearly i’m already awake now, thanks ⤷ oh, ok. as long as they’re the same link i think... it’s less worse, right? ⤷ and yeah, he just looks really panicked right now so i might need to calm him down first  ⤷ it doesn’t seem like it was on purpose though ⤷ so pls don’t be too harsh on him

[arcanexchaos]

@msusoohwa

[  outgoing ⇢ sexy saengnim ] ⇢ hypothetically speaking… you can’t refuse to help me even if I tease u right? ⇢ I may have forgotten exams are coming up… ⇢ but I absolutely did not forget to check buzzard on my daily hunt for gossip ⇢ turns out u’ve got more proficiencies than just teaching :3c ⇢ seriously though- H E L p

[msusoohwa]

〈 sms › › › bad nahyun 〉 ⤷ hypothetically i actually can or just assign you to another ta ⤷ but i won’t because i’m not that unprofessional ⤷ you know i'm still one of the head students and i can take points from suseong for this, right ⤷ meet me at the library and then i’ll help you ⤷ even if i don’t feel like you deserve it

[msusoohwa]

msuxhyunki​:

soohwa is such a quick learner that it’s really taken him no time to learn what makes hyunki squirm under his touch. 

(...)

soohwa swears that every single time that he pushes inside hyunki it’s just the best that it’ll ever get, that there’s no way that there’s nothing that could ever be better than how hyunki feels around him, however every single time it somehow actually does feel better than the last time, like soohwa’s memory could never make justice to how hyunki is so perfect around him, so warm and thigh that makes soohwa groan from deep in his chest at the sensation. and it’s so hard to keep the slow rhythm, to not just fuck hyunki senseless from the start but soohwa knows that this would never be a good idea, that he’d have self control no matter the cost before being too impatient and ending up hurting hyunki in the process. 

he’s shaking lightly by the time he finally bottoms out with restrain, takes the time to watch how the geumseong junior looks under him and it’s no surprise that he looks breathtaking, lips kiss swollen, cheeks flushed, eyes dark and pleading, wanting, cock flushed in the prettiest shade of pink, hard and already leaking, neck full of the hickeys that soohwa left earlier, marks that even if just for that moment means that hyunki is his. beautiful, the only thing that passes in soohwa’s mind is how beautiful hyunki is, how he won’t ever find someone that attracts him more than the man under him, that there won’t ever be anyone else, not when he has hyunki to compare them to. 

he thinks about teasing a little, about moving slowly while telling hyunki that he doesn’t want to hurt him, but then any thought like that is thrown out of the window when the other just looks at the head student and pleads him using that tone. “fuck” soohwa’s hips give a jerky thrust without his permission and he could almost swear that he got a little harder, a little bigger, closing his eyes tightly and resting his forehead against the other’s. “hyunki.” he tries to use a reprimanding tone, but then his voice is too breathless, too affected for it to really sound as nothing but almost as pleading as the tone hyunki used on him. 

soohwa kisses the other again, but this time much more of a messy press of lips than an actual kiss, hands looking for hyunki’s to intertwine their fingers together, letting them rest on each side of the other’s head before he starts moving, but not as slow as he’d normally start, even if there’s something still gentle about it, careful and sweet, because apparently that’s something that is always somewhere in soohwa’s actions when he’s like this with hyunki.