I think I’ve finally figured out the timeline for Alex and Kara’s sisterly development for when they were kids.
The show is constantly flip-flopping between saying Alex outright resented Kara and wanted absolutely nothing to do with her, and the two being so utterly inseparable as sisters anything else is unthinkable. Which, honestly, is very organic and one of the reasons I love them so much.
From what I can understand, when Kara first arrived, Alex herself flip-flopped between seeing the potential of having a sister and hating her depending on the time of day. Because, Alex, a girl who desperately wants to fit in socially, suddenly has a new little sister, whose behaviors are weird and alien and odd. And so if her crowd thought Kara was weird, now so did Alex. But there is evidence to show that Alex wasn’t a total jerk during this time.
Aka—The Popcorn Incident.
I feel like this back and forth with them goes on for a while. Certain triggers like her friends, and the reminders of how Eliza and Jeremiah treat her differently now that Kara’s there, certainly played a part in Alex’s building resentment. During this time they acted like true sisters, loving each other one moment—ready to kill each other the next. Alex dragged Kara to science fairs, forced her to listen to her music, and watch scary movies, while in turn, Kara took her flying and made a white Christmas in their living room.
You know, normal sister things.
I truly don’t believe the change in their relationship happened immediately following Jeremiah’s new position at the DEO.
Maybe the darker side of Alex’s feelings ramped up during this stage as Alex missed her dad and bashed heads with her mom, but I’d say the sisters were still pretty close. Alex said she trained with J’onn for five months before she was put in the field. Based on that, let’s say it had been close to a year of Jeremiah being away before he “died.” Though, I fully heartily believe Jeremiah wasn’t completely absent the whole time. He wasn’t Repunzel. He definitely had opportunities to visit Midvale for a couple days at a time while working for the DEO, even if it wasn’t the same.
But now the girls are fourteen and sixteen, probably approaching fifteen and seventeen, and Jeremiah dies and something in Alex snaps.
Because their dad—Alex’s dad is now dead in a “plane crash” for a job he suddenly took in another city not long after Kara came into their lives. The show never explained how Eliza and Jeremiah rationalized to the girls about his spontaneous job in National City that required him to stay away and travel often. And maybe—this part is totally headcanon btw—but maybe Alex initially interpreted her dad’s new career as a financial thing.
I mean, Kara definitely had to be running their grocery bill through the roof as a growing Kryptonian who used her powers semi-frequently. So even if neither parent explicitly said that money was the reason, without any other context, Detective Alex Danvers could have told herself that was the case. Hence why she blamed Kara so heavily for Jeremiah’s “death.”
But what’s crazy is that Alex didn’t even know that inadvertently, it actually was Kara’s fault the DEO took interest in their family. But only by existing. Which is a sad, unfair truth.
Nevertheless, through teen angst rationale, Alex Danvers no longer has a sister.
This went on for a hot minute. I’d say no more than six months before we get to 3x06 (the Midvale ep), and we all know what happens there.
I do want to add though, that even if the Danvers sisters were inseparable past this point, they most definitely hit a rough patch during those two years that Alex was secretly working at the DEO and Kara had begun to work for Cat Grant.
Because now Alex spent her days taking down the prisoners of Fort Rozz—aliens that have exposed themselves, always in violent and dangerous ways, and a good lot of them resent Alura In-Ze with ever fiber of their beings. So, obviously, no-way-José was Alex’s Kryptonian little sister going anywhere near that. But Kara didn’t know that. And the poor girl was surrounded with bad news tragedies and constant reminders that she could have been there—that her powers could have saved them. It was killing her, not doing anything. Yet day in and day out, Alex is the one that kept Kara docile and hidden because it there wasn’t any other choice.
The goal was always to keep the secret. To blend in. So why risk everything now?
Because Alex was Kara’s sister, her only home on this planet, and she was not losing another family member to a stupid plane.
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