Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Multiverse
A quick and dirty rundown of some of the premier MtG planes, ranked by how nice a place they would be to live. Very subjective obviously, and I’d love to hear if people agree/ disagree/ have any strong feelings on the matter at all~ I stuck mostly to planes where I felt enough was known about it to make a tentative judgment call on its general safety/ enjoyability.
Note that for the below list, the criteria is that you are a) a human, who b) is primarily interested in living a long, peaceful life c) ideally with minimal external control by outside powers.
– Periodically corrupt government, but overall a plane which offers lifestyles for urban and rural preferences, has plentiful clean energy, and supports both the arts and the sciences for public benefit.
– Not many options for a quiet life, judging by the admittedly small sampling of the plane seen so far. Does seem to have a fairly lower fatality rate for all that, and Cloudspire City ranks high on places to visit for a fun time.
– Surprisingly benevolent monarchy, even verging on democratic in areas. Dangers of wilds exist, but odds of random monster death are reasonably mitigated compared to other planes. Limited career options for the layperson, though more fields open up if willing to take on the life of a knight.
– Peaceful but dull, which is basically exactly the criteria for this particular test.
– Lots of world to see if you fancy adventure, and a diverse number of places to settle down if you don’t. Options for scholars, warriors, farmers, traders, artists, and writers alike. Currently no pending apocalypse, but the track record is not so good. Death machines just a few layers of dirt down.
– Not a bad life to be had, if a bit over-codified. Even life as a warrior is not bad, at least pre-conflux. Peaceful and well-ordered, and passes the criteria for this list, albeit only for a brief period of time.
– Many options re: career path, from farmer to warrior to philosopher to herder. Do have to contend with sudden, violent death from monsters, minotaurs, or gods getting bored, so constantly on edge, probably.
– Pretty much the gold standard for variety in life paths. Entertainer, provider, lawyer, doctor, scientist, artist, spy, usurer…the world is your oyster if you’ve got the gumption. Semiapocalyptic events fairly frequent in recent years, though nothing has stuck. Very few options for the non-urban inclined that don’t involve joining a cult or grafting new parts onto your body.
– current status a bit unclear, but a great plane for anyone looking to incorporate casual magic into their day-to-day life. Likely still a ripe target for planeswalker visitors looking to harvest the rich mana therein.
– Fairly interesting and relatively low-key place to live if you keep your head down and out of the hardcore politicking. Rural living options exist.
11) Plane of Mountains and Seas
– limited information, but seems pretty chill.
– here for a good time, not a long time.
– Not too bad, if you don’t get stepped on. Mostly jungle living, but if you’re down with that, there are fun adventures to be had.
– Sure, your Daimyo may occasionally invoke the wrath of the sizeable and omnipresent spirit world, casting the whole of the plane into bitter, arcane civil war, but in any other situation you’ve got a fairly diverse and interesting world to live in, and nowadays there’s even a pair of spirits protecting you from extraplanar threats.
– Depending on the side of the aurora you find yourself on, you will either want to seek out the elves for sanctuary, or avoid them at all costs. Lorwyn is pleasant enough, if you resign yourself to not seeing any other humans, and are good with extremely rural living. Watch overhead for giants at all times.
– Long life options available, if you are good with artifacts™, and cool with swapping out some of your fleshy bits. A wee bit classist.
– peaceful and ordered enough, but definitely leaning on the oppressive side of the political spectrum. Not the most fun people to live among, either.
– Some like it hot; some might not.
– The perfect plane for all you paleo diet enthusiasts out there. Living might be a little too bare-bones and dinosaur-filled for the average person.
– A few options here, all pretty narrow. Piracy and vampire imperialism both involve a life of violence and in the latter case, a high degree of servitude. Sun empire pretty viable option for humans comfortable with dinosaurs, and, as of the most recent story, going full aztec.
– A varied lifestyle options to pick from. Very few leisurely ones available, barring a life of deceit and treachery with the Sultai. Inter- and intra-clan conflict more or less unavoidable, but not of a disastrous scale that you’ll find on different planes.
– Excellent opportunities for forging your own path in life, and endless options for adventure. Lacking in safe places to settle down and live without sudden death by avalanche/tidal wave/typhoon/ eruption/ sinkhole/ eldritch horror.
– Opportunities for rural and urban living, if you are at peace with living in a trash heap/ dust bowl. Forest living is an option if you don’t mind the mercenary raids, but at least others will have your back. Options for piracy as well, though not as flashy as the Ixalan variety. No apocalyptic events to worry about, which puts it head and shoulders above a few other planes on the list.
– See Segovia; this time, it is you who gets stomped. May be ideal for anyone who saw Disney’s jack and the beanstalk and decided life on a giant kitchen table was the life for them.
– Oh jeez, please be careful where you step. If you could just – we’ve got a lovely hundred acres of pasture for you to take a seat in if you would just take care not to step on OH MY GOD YOU’VE KILLED THEM ALL (Yes, Segovia corrects for scale with planeswalker visitors, but I stand by the joke)
– Fairly peaceful in theory, but the oversight is pretty strict, and it’s no good if you’ve got a fear of heights. Very limited time to enjoy living there if floating fields and angels are your jam.
– Regularly corrupt government, in constant conflict with other major power over contested energy sources, with everyone else placed firmly in the middle of the meat grinder.
– You can certainly live long as a vampire or free as a werewolf, but as both are of dubious desirability for the average person, this plane will rank a bit low.
29) Mirrodin (Pre-besieged)
– Prospects for living a quiet life exist, with major caveats regardless of which human society you wind up in. Basically take your pick between constant danger of attack, subservience to another species, living in a place not designed for habitation by any form of life, or some combination of the three.
– Much narrower lifestyle options than the khans timeline, and higher odds of dying within your own clan, though which dragon you end up under makes a huge difference in the quality of life. Dromoka and Ojutai probably the best options if your goal is longetivity.
– Dead/ dying plane, and the management sucks.
– Mercadia situation amped up to 11. Oppress or be oppressed, with an uncomfortable middle ground where you will experience both. Also a generally hostile landscape due to nanomachine silly putty.
– Spicy Naya. Probably can last a while if you’re quick on your feet, but no one dies of old age here.
– Dead/ dying world, even if it wasn’t host to a horrific logan’s run/ hunger games inspired colonialism. Not so bad short-term, if you want to work on your beach body. At least you have a god looking out for you, unlike…
– The living hunted for their life-force…hellscape of zombies and demons…Grixis fails most of the criteria for the list, but you’ve got a slightly more sporting chance of survival here than with some of the planes further down.
37) Phyrexia (Nine Spheres)
– Pictured above: the worst place in the multiverse, as a backdrop to the most wonderful person in the multiverse
gummygunk
stormborns
izzy806
romaincrisis
origamiaround
