Okay so obviously this cant happen in the James Gunn DCU because we have Robert Pattinson already, BUT HEAR ME OUT!!!! Markiplier as Bruce Wayne/Batman. Think about it think about it. Mark has the build, he has the deeper voice, acting. Like. He would be so cool as Bruce Wyane/Batman!!! Me and my Fiance were just randomly existing and I showed them a video and a panel from one of the comics showed up and Bruce looked a decent bit like Mark in that panel. They pointed it out and now were on this little railroad track that im now putting out into the world. They even said he'd be cool voicing an animated batman which i definitely agree with!!
Does anyone else get the vision me amd my fiance are having? Please I need to know we arent insane 😭
okay so, guy at work, who i find out afterwards is famous at this place for being a sex pest, comes up and starts with what i also learn is his favorite opener to conversations where he’s going to be a sex pest, namely: “Do you know where the term ‘blow job’ comes from?”
and here he made his first fatal error. his moment of hubristic sex pesting. because of course i know where the term blow job comes from, i love learning about sex and the history of sexual terms! i know so much about oral sex that i could write a book on it!
his second error: approaching a little autistic freak with what he intended to be an uncomfortable sex question that would make me feel weird and gross. Friends, Romans, Countrymen, I Have Never Misjudged A Man’s Intentions So Incredibly In My Life. because i did not realize he was trying to harass me. because i love talking about sex facts, albeit not usually at work. unless. someone prompts me. my coworkers are the kind of people who are generally online enough to know terms, but not exactly what they mean, and they realized they could ask me a while back and get good answers without the resulting awkwardness because i do not experience shame. i am primed to answer questions like the one he has proposed.
So I Answered It.
and well, really, what happened is that I began answering it, then realized the answer required a bit more context. I mean, you can’t just say “oh, well, the term first appears in writing in the 1940s” without first explaining that ‘blow’ by itself already had sexual connotations for centuries, and then, really, are we talking about the origin of the term or the origin of the act. and well we have a ton of literature and art depicting fellatio throughout human history, did you know a lot of it was men performing it on other men? oh, that reminds me, there are a multitude of latin words for oral sex performed on penises, and hold on let me quote you the entirety of catullus 16 from memory and explain it’s fascinating insights into the roman world of homosexuality-
i do not know how to turn any of this ^ off, by the way. i’m sure some people out there have a switch that disables their infodumping mid-speech. i do not. and i also didn’t realize he wasn’t looking for a real answer until my other coworker explained so hours later. he could not excuse himself from the conversation he started, and i made a conservative man at least 30 years older than me to listen to my catullus recitation. i will sodomize and facefuck you, indeed.
anyway, i think i got a bad grade in being sexually harassed. my pro tip is maybe don’t start with what a very autistic individual will misconstrue as you earnestly asking them to explain sex to you. the special interest shield will cause splashback damage.
andrew in drag changed my brain chemistry. there was a birdflash animatic with this song and i have no idea where is it so if you know – please share.
anyway.
tim as caroline? that is prime andrew in drag material. pretty sure tim canonically doesn't like crossdressing so yeah, he basically did it as a gag and a one time thing.
'a shame he's not a fag' he is, kon, go for it...
but we can pretend tim doesn't know that about himself yet, so this will be a very funny shit show.
idk, tim pissed off babs, so she retaliated by leaking the footage of his misadventures as caroline to his team.
and here comes the fun part – tim could've saved the situation if he really tried. but he's uncomfortable, and all the gender norms are yet to be explored and broken, and he's a closeted teenager with so many fucking mental illnesses the therapists are frothing at the mouth to get his time and money.
so he lets himself slip into defence.
and, of course, it went as well as one might imagine.
–
'just thought it might be funny to see andrew in drag'
kon thought it would be funny as fuck to see tim awkwardly trying to sell his impression of a girl.
it should've been funny.
hilarious, even.
except it wasn't, because caroline was fucking breathtaking.
the footage wasn't amazing, but oracle did her best to make tim as uncomfortable as possible, and kon was sure that this was the best footage she could get. he was grateful, because he wasn't sure how much he would be able to control himself if it wasn't the case.
caroline had the same face as tim. suddenly delicate features, expressive eyes and a bit of red lipstick. it's just tim. except it's not, it's absolutely not.
the long brown hair and slightly bigger than normal breasts sold the look. it was caroline, a nurse, a beautiful woman on a mission who was using her charm to get what she wanted.
except it's tim. except it's his face, his build, his determination. his- him. him in a skirt, him with fake boobs and a wig.
was kon gay now or it didn't count?
fuck.
'the moment he walked on the stage, my tail began to wag, wag like a little weiner dog for andrew in drag'
so, of course, like any confused mentally unwell and socially awkward teenager, kon did what he did best.
"wow, nice look, boy wonder! how long did it take to choose that skirt? really suits you!"
yeah. kon was great at antagonizing the problem until it had enough and went for his throat.
"you- it wasn't my fucking idea! i was against it-"
you honestly can't blame the rest of them for adding fuel to the fire. whose idea it was to put a bunch of traumatized teenagers together and not set up at least weekly group therapy sessions?
everybody but tim and kon were having the time of their lives. they wanted bread and circuses, and they got it, because not having popcorn on hand while watching your friend crossdressing was just stupid.
the girls were awful. they tried convincing tim of doing a full makeup. tim resisted with outrage, while kon was internally cheering for him, because seeing him in makeup in real-time was not something he could handle.
bart made a beautiful, cruel suggestion – print and frame the best shot right in the common room.
tim tried to swat at him, yelling about secret identities and bart being an idiot. however that might be, bart was a speedster first and foremost, and it saved him from tim's righteous fury.
what was kon doing while all that was happening? why, blending in with the wall, of course. he needed time and peace to come to terms with his crush at a girl that wasn't real and was, in fact, his friend in drag. the woes of a teenager's life.
and tim, how was he doing?
awful, actually. insecure, mocked, ripped open for everybody to see, defenseless and barely keeping it together. if he wasn't robin he would've long crashed out.
all in all, a normal night at the mount justice. with no weekly group therapy sessions in sight.
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aaand that's it, it's 2 am, i have a job tomorrow, feel free to add. maybe it'll be a fic one day
"Just because I'm right, doesn't mean I'm being helpful" is a vastly underrated thought process that I strongly encourage others to get comfortable with
When I said I was going to watch Megamind last night, my roommate told me about how the surround sound in the theater where they saw it was so good, they thought the random citizen was in the audience behind them
Finally did something with the idea I had for Kon having his own identity and graduating from Superboy, based on the concept I did on a plane earlier this month.
I really really love the Supernova concepts for Kon and the Liz Phair song the name was (iirc) inspired from, but personally I feel like Kon needs an identity that is solely his own, and we've already had a Supernova before. (Absolutely NO hate to the Kon Supernova truthers, I love y'all)
My idea was Second Star, based off of a song by The Devil Music Co. as well as this specific panel because it's very dear to me as it's the moment Kon left to be on his own and be independent from Superman and write his own legacy.
Kon's colors being red and black also is very important to me as well, being the basis for Tim's Red Robin suit after his death, while also setting him apart from the other Supers (and being my favorite color combo teehee.) I did still want to keep the blue in, however because it's iconic and gives the design a nice pop.
I wanted to keep him punk-y and preserve that classic look from thr 90s, but refresh it in a way. Under the jacket I imagine the top is sleeveless too.
Idk, Kon is very important to me and of you read all this, genuinely thank you for taking the time to do so 🦸💕
