ass

bear/vaughn | it/it/its | pandora

[murderbear]

rhi loves me which makes her a creachure fucker

[murderbear]

fatherhelios replied to your post:i have a girlfriend

that’s nice, buddy.

yeah. it is

[murderbear]

i have a girlfriend

[murderbear]

im a modest bear but honestly? “grizzly terror” is one of my best works.

[thronraeuber-blog]

Sometimes I put on shitty horror movies of bears eating people.

Then I turn to my Bear and ask how long it’s been an actor for.

[murderbear]

thronraeuber replied to your post:me five years ago regarding numbers: taxes!...

I’m swooning.

me too

[askmrtorgue]

LIST OF PROBLEMS THAT CANNOT BE SOLVED BY PUNCHING

ARM TIRED FROM TOO MUCH PUNCHING

CERTAIN SUDOKU PUZZLES

END OF LIST

[gleneth-paltrow-deactivated2018]

PROBLEM ONE CAN BE SOLVED BY USING YOUR OTHER ARM?

[askmrtorgue]

WE ARE IN A BRAVE NEW FRONTIER

[murderbear]

me five years ago regarding numbers: taxes! payroll! audits! how many sudoku puzzles can i finish on my lunch break! i hope they pick me to refinance the whole department! i sure would love to eliminate unnecessary spending and reveal all the fraud and embezzlement not committed by my friends!

me now regarding numbers: how many fingers do i get to break today

[murderbear]

adding “edgelord” to the list of acceptable names you can call me

[murderbear]

i keep forgetting that deer and i arent from the same timeline? even though i’m walking around on a space station that is in shambles in my universe and rhi is like five years younger than me?

[thronraeuber-blog]

Ohhhh… You’re sweet as honey. I can bear-ly stand it. 

#that was...#really bad.#i am so sorry

[murderbear]

i will find it in my heart to forgive you, my deer

[murderbear]

thronraeuber replied to your post:You know it's uh... It's really great to know that...

I really like hearing that. From you especially. Not that I need you to inflate my ego. I just… want you to know that. Hahaha. Gosh this is so awkward

need or not, i consider inflating your ego to be in my top 5 daily priorities. very important. essential, one could say

[murderbear]

You know it's uh... It's really great to know that you have my back, but uh... also that you're waiting for me back home. It's... nice to have that comfort. You're really great...

it’s comforting to be here with you, rhi. you’re pretty great yourself, yknow.

[murderbear]

What's your preferred "prey?"

i like men and deer

[murderbear]

Haha. Wow. uh I just. Wanted you to know that... you're cute. You're really cute. I'm glad you like it here. I like you... y-you being here, that is. Sorry, saw someone walk by. Got distracted. Haha. Okay. Wow. Yeah.

youre really cute too deer and i’m glad to be here

[murderbear]

brutal

[murderbear]

i’ve been deer’s personal bodyguard for 2 weeks now and it’s a good gig