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DEAR READER
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@murkyrealms
I saw someone saying that Gwyn will jump into the Blood Duel to save Azriel, and I have two questions:
1. Why would she even be there???
2. Why would she be the love interest of a man who enters a Blood Duel for another woman? A man who’s willing to die for another woman???
is this real 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
elain and elriel are coming 🩷💙
So you don’t consider ACOFAS a real book? Well, I’m sorry, sweetie, but this book was written by the author of the series—in fact, the foundations of ACOSF, which many of you regard as a sacred text, were laid in this book—and the facts aren’t going to change just because spoiled brats like you are whining. Kapish? Now go brush your teeth and put on your pajamas. Your iPad time is limited for today.
right 🤣 like a whole ass PUBLISHED BOOK even casual readers have read isn’t valid. Yet they still cling to their bonus chapter.
IM TIRED OF THIS GRANDPA!
biblically accurate.
bibisdraw.s 🖌️🖼️
it's called winning!
everyone say thank you to @elainsvisions for allowing me to use her comm and for @/jae.sketch (insta) for drawing it <333
Let’s compare:
Elain said to Azriel, perhaps the only two civilized ones here, “Can you truly fly?”
He set down his fork, blinking. I might have even called him self-conscious. He said, “Yes. Cassian and I hail from a race of faeries called Illyrians. We’re born hearing the song of the wind.”
VS.
She shrugged again, irreverently. Az narrowed his eyes, studying her. “Do you, though?” she pressed. “Sing?”
Azriel couldn’t help his soft chuckle. “Yes.”
She opened her mouth to ask more, but he didn’t feel like explaining.
To the anon I just got,
“Let’s focus on helping one sister before we start on the other.”
Elain is next.
I’m certain.
No Small Potatoes
Rumor is some people think the Elriels assign too much importance to and are too obsessed with the potato scene. Truthfully, we have not given it enough attention. There are no small potatoes in Prythian, so here we go.
We will start with a breakdown of various moments from the iconic scene.
“Don’t,” Elain said flatly, starting once more into a walk, veils of steam drifting past her shoulders from the roasted rosemary potatoes in her hands, as if they were Azriel’s shadows. “She won’t listen.”
It is notable that Maas chooses to compare the steam of the potato to both veils and Azriel’s shadows. It connects Elain to wedding imagery and then to Azriel himself.
But the others came barreling in from the sitting room, Cassian kissing Elain's cheek in greeting before he nearly lifted her out of the way to get to the dining table. Amen came next, giving my sister a nod, her ruby necklace sparkling in the faelights speckled throughout the garlands in the hall. Then Mor, with a smacking kiss for either cheek. Then Rhys, shaking his head at Cassian, who began helping himself to the platters Nuala and Cerridwen winnowed in. As Elain lived here, my mate gave her only a smile of greeting before taking up his seat at Cassian's right.
This scene is notable as a contrast from how the others act around her to what happens next. Anyone could have take the potatoes that she was carrying, but nobody did. They’re more casual in their behavior with her and she with them.
“Azriel emerged from the sitting room, a glass of wine in hand and wings tucked back to reveal his fine, yet simple black jacket and pants. I felt, more than saw, my sister go still as he approached. Her throat bobbed.”
Elain goes still at the sight of Azriel. Cassian went still at the sight of Nesta and Azriel went still at the sight of Elain earlier on in the series. Now she goes still at the sight of him. It’s a romantic pattern. Then Elain’s throat bobs showing she was nervous or excited about seeing him. How cute. Their reactions to each other as mentioned earlier, contrast against the earlier interactions with the others. There is a tension that their Maas clearly wanted to highlight.
"Are you just going to hold that chicken all night?" Cassian asked me from the table. Scowling, I stomped toward him, plunking the platter onto the wooden surface. "I spat in it," I said sweetly. "Makes it all the more delicious," Cassian crooned, smiling right back. Rhys snickered, drinking deeply from his wine.
This interaction again sets up to provide contrast for what happens later on.
“In time to see Elain say to Azriel “Hello”. Az said nothing. No, he just moved toward her. Mor tensed beside me. But Azriel only took Elain’s heavy dish of potatoes from her hands, his voice soft as night as he said, “Sit. I’ll take care of it.” Elain’s hands remained in midair, as if the ghost of the dish remained between them. With a blink, she lowered them, and noticed her apron. “I—I’ll be right back,”
Mor tensing is interesting. She has interesting reactions when it comes to Elain and Azriel more than once. I wonder why. Maas took care to note that Azriel’s voice was soft when he spoke to Elain. So sweet. Additionally, Look at him relieving her burden like a true partner. Then Elain freezing and blinking is so interesting especially since many have theorized her blinking means she had a vision. I’ve long wondered if she saw something. I also find it so cute she got self conscious and ran off to calm down and pretty herself.
Azriel set the potatoes in the center of the table, Cassian diving right in. Or he tried to. One moment, his hand was spearing toward the serving spoon. The next, it was stopped, Azriel's scarred fingers wrapped around his wrist. "Wait," Azriel said, nothing but command in his voice.
Mor gaped wide enough that I was certain the half-chewed green beans in her mouth were going to tumble onto her plate. Amren just smirked over the rim of her wineglass. Cassian gawked at him. "Wait for what? Gravy?" Azriel didn’t let go. “Wait until everyone is seated.”
In the earlier interaction, Maas only says Feyre plunked the potatoes onto the table. Here Maas specifically says Azriel places the potatoes in the center of the table. She chose to note he gave them a place of honor. Then Azriel making everyone wait for Elain to eat is absolutely husband material. Everyone’s reactions here also show that this was an atypical choice from Azriel to highlight how special it was he did this for Elain.
“Elain swept in apron gone and hair rebraided. “Please don’t wait on my account”, she said taking the seat at the head of the table.”
Awww she prettied herself up for him. It’s also notable that she sat at the head of the table in the townhouse, a place typically reserved for the owner or head of the household. How interesting. Is that foreshadowing for it being HER home one day. Coincidentally it is the place where Azriel carried her over the threshold like a bride and groom.
Now let’s look at the dish itself. Roasted Rosemary Potatoes:
Looking at the rosemary. There’s the obvious rose in the name which is another rose connection, but that’s low hanging fruit. Some sources claim rosemary was believed to be able to reveal your true love. It had also been associated with rememberance, faithfulness, and fidelity in love. Then the potatoes of it all. Potatoes were served the day Elain and Azriel met. Potatoes have been considered a symbol of resilience (Elriel can survive anything), life, and hope (a hope theory tie in). Many also consider potatoes a comfort food. So in a way Elain was giving Azriel comfort.
An addition fun fact is that potatoes have been present from the very start of Elriel. Potatoes were one of the dishes at their first ever meal together.
*A faint smile bloomed upon Azriel's mouth as he noticed Elain's fingers white-knuckled on that fork, but he kept silent,
…
I sighed through my nose and yanked the lids off the various dishes and casseroles. Poached salmon with dill and lemon from the hothouse, whipped potatoes, roast chicken with beets and turnips from the root cellar, and some casserole of egg, game meat, and leeks.*
LONG LIVE POTATOES.
The amount of aura farming elriels are doing just by existing,
“We need to unite against the common enemy! We must not divide!”
Like damn, didn’t know we made you guys that insecure
being an adult in a fandom is so weird because by day i’m a person and by night i’m in a cult
the theory that rhys is behind the EL mating bond and is manipulating red head is so funny to me because that loser is not important enough for rhys to bother with in that significant of a way. but even if rhys did i would laugh my ass off because the ELs reaction would be cinematic. for real tho it’s silly that i’ve seen ppl still believe this because it’s easily debunked by the cauldrons corruption now being canon, but ig canon hasn’t stopped people and their stupid theories in the past, so🤷♀️
Azriel and Elain - A Court of Thorns and Roses
Artist: @/eclipvze_art
They're So Close... and Yet
Its October 27th, the Evil Elriel Mafia has been defeated. So have the casual readers. Everyone else closes out of Elriel Subreddits for a second and cracks open
ACOTAR 6, A Court of Gingers and Musicals.
The book opens with Azriel at a pleasure club. He likes the music, but he's depressed, alone, and horny. NOT HORNY FOR THE DANCERS HE ONLY LIKES ONE WOMAN. He listened to Get It Sexyy for as many times as he could handle (23) before he got up and went to the training ring, his safe haven. At the training ring, he sees The Ribbon. His MASSIVE COCK gets SUPER HARD for Gwyn, but he's a sad little shy boi, so he just makes the sign of the cross and goes to sleep.
The next day, he's doing his favorite job being the spymaster training the Valkyries. Gwynnie is doing stealler, slicing up ribbons and beating the shit out of everyone. Azriel's GIMONGOUS HOG becomes A BILLION INCHES because his super strong brave outgoing warrior princess is being so cool and original.
Azriel knows he's mates with Gwyn or maybe its the other way around, who knows but he's still recovering from his relationship with Whore Elain/Mor/Rhysand's sister so he decides to stay quiet. One day he hears the most melodic singing, and decides to follow it. It's Gwyn!! Her beautiful voice has actually caused the Sun to move closer to Prythian, and all the animals to flock towards her. She's so amazing. Her Memaw was an unspecified Super Important Thing so she has powers or some shit.
"OUUUU MAH PELVIS IS SO STRETCHYYYYYYYYYYY"
*epic harp solo*
Azriel drops to his knees. His DEEP SEXY BARITONE can't help but BURST FROM HIS MOUTH.
"YOURE MY MATEEEEEEEE. LET ME GET YOU PREGNANT AND FILL YOU UP WITH ALL MY ILLYRIAN SPERMMMMMMMMMMM"
Gwyn's pelvis has stretched so much that she's playing the harp with her feet above her head.
"Yes Azriel. I am your sexy warrior goddess. Also we're connected to the Dusk Court so..."
Suddenly Rhysand is there. He runs over to Gwyn and pulls her into a hug.
"MY BABY SISTER GWYNNIE!!! IVE ONLY MET YOU LIKE TWICE BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! COME TO THE TEMPLE AND WE'LL MAKE YOU NYX'S GODMOTHER!'
Gwyn untwists.
"I would love that Big Bro, but first I need a meeting with the rest of the Inner Circle."
The Inner Circle assembled: Rhys, Azriel, Cassien, Nesta, Amren, and Mor. Elain was out being boring and shit, idk man.
"Fellow Inner Circleans... as the High Lady of the Dusk Court (Newly appointed) I have an announcement to make: ELAIN IS EVIL!!"
Suddenly Elain drops from the ceiling like a spider monkey.
"NYAAAAAAAAAAAA"
Gwyn epically rolls to the side to avoid being smashed by Elain's Evilness™️. Rhys stands to protect his little sister, but Azriel stops him. His MILE LONG DONG rips through his leather pants. Watching his mate be a warrior makes him GUSH SO MUCH.
Elain lunges for Our Favorite Ginger, but slams into a wall because the warrior princess dodged. Suddenly Gwyn plops down on the ground.
"PELVIS PUSSY POWERRRRRRRR!!"
*P Power by Gunna starts playing in the distance*
The pliant bones reach out and gobble Elain up like some sort of venus fly trap.
BOOM
A huge plant monster crashes into the room.
SCRAWWWWWWWWWWW
But Gwyn stays sitting. Suddenly Elain's bones come shooting out of Gwyn's pelvis like bullets.
GRAH GRAH GRAH GRAH GRAH
The plant monster is defeated.
"She's so dreamy," sighed Azriel "just imagine how many kids we'll have."
The woman stands up and walks over to her friends.
"Now that the evil has been vanquished, my mate and I will return to our rightful place, the Dusk Court. To activate it we will now sing a duet. Not just any duet, because it is sung by my Pelvis and Azriel's Sperm."
Azriel steps up. He already jizzed in his pants watching Gwyn fight, so eveything is ready.
Pelvis: OHHH I’M SO STRECHY WATCH ME BENDDDDD
Sperm: COME LET ME STUFF YOU WITH MY SPENDDDDDDD
Pelvis: How will it get there, I’m so skinny and trim.
Sperm: Do not worry my love, my fishies can swimmmmmmmm.
Pelvis: I’ll use it all up, devour it like a snack.
Sperm: That’s okay, Azriel is breaking Gwyn’s back.
Pelvis: The back might be broken, but never me, I am the most flexible, anyone can see.
RUMBLE GRUMBLE SCRAPE
A big door marked "Dusk Court" emerged from the ground. Azriel picked his mate up in a bridal carry and skipped through it.
On the last page of the book, there are only four words
READ ELUCIEN'S STORY NEXT
Highqueenfreakster's decree of the day: I am on my diabolical freak shit. I don't even really know what this is, but it's here. Out on the internet forever. I'm so very sorry for not posting as much lately, I've been in that really weird space where I really want to post but I have no ideas so I just get mad and close the app and brood for a little while until I think "you need to post" and the cycle repeats. I did do this though. Hooray. Do we want to see if I come up with Anything good for the Elucien storyline? It obviously won't make any sense because Elain will be alive, but who really cares?.
“The common evil”
How antis think Elriels are moving:
Got me out here feeling downright devious
“Forgive me father for I have sinned, I have loved a woman more desperately than I have loved God. I have looked to a woman more reverently than I have the sky. There, in the sulk of her bottom lip, I find myself talking about a heaven that only exists when she is looking at me, father she has not been forged between the dip of my teeth, she is not my rib, or my left side, she is my entire stomach, she is my spine. I have been searching for prayer, father but I have found that I can only say her name Dear God, let me have her Dear God, let her rest with me Dear God, let the sky turn red from how we burn The plum tree in our back garden has withered because I have not seen the sun for five days. I have been worshipping at the cradle of her hips father, she has cleansed me with those hands and those eyes, I do not know how to turn unless it is towards her, I do not know where to go except in her direction.”
— Azra.T “Take Me to Church” (via 5000letters)
