blasted my eardrums whoops @fredlikesrats - Tumblr Blog

new car idea

#someone hire me to design this for one william dollars #is it safe? we can make it safe. “where does the engine go” electric #fredposting #my art #ALSO ALSO it's important to note that this car should be no bigger than a family sized toyota #maybe a little taller but the lookout is there to help the driver be safer about everything

segamascott

danielwaldorf

since becoming a barista i have noticed a few very distinct typologies among my customers. such as:

the woke left: young and fashionable. visible tattoos. often enjoys matcha, lavender flavoring, oat milk, and cold foam. pretty decent customers.

sweet old man: drinks very sweet iced lattes, pays in cash, puts all of his change in the tip jar. sometimes orders hot coffee and i get scared that his shaky old man hands will spill it and he'll get burned but that has not yet happened and god willing never shall.

evil old man: only wants drip coffee and declares it ridiculous that any other form of coffee exists. some variants only want americanos and these variants are even scarier. watch out.

sweet old woman: might need her daughter's help to order but is very bubbly and open to trying new things. compliments baristas freely and frequently.

evil old woman: does not want coffee and only wants sweet tea or soda. will not tip even if she spends three hours in the shop repeatedly asking baristas to fetch things for her.

errand husband: either stiltedly recites an order to you or shows you the order in their texts/notes app. needs to step out of line and make a phone call if you ask any follow-up questions.

grindset girlie: always wearing scrubs, an apron, and/or a name tag. orders the exact same thing every day and knows the exact change she'll need to pay for it. her regular order is both extremely caffeinated and extremely sweet.

#mamabear: is actively wrangling two to four children while ordering. order changes repeatedly because the children cannot decide if they want a muffin or a cookie or apple juice or chocolate milk etc. for some reason these women are always wearing an article of clothing or carrying some personalized item that says "mama" on it.

schoolchildren: band of two to eight adolescents hanging out after school. extremely indecisive but generally quite polite and tip well.

amnesiac in love: grown adult who needs their partner to tell them what they like. gets asked a question about their own preferences and turns to their partner to answer for them. generally acts like a shy child looking to their guardian for behavioral cues if you try to interact with them and only wants to talk to mommy i mean their wife.

this of course is not an exhaustive list but those are just some of the most consistent Types i get. ok bye xoxo

56kilobits

i've been obsessed with this video so i downloaded the video file off of youtube so even if the internet goes down i can always watch frogtimelapse.mp4

whencartoonsruletheworld

"lupita nyong'o can't be helen of troy because helen was greek and there weren't black people in ancient greece"

DO YOU THINK THESE MOTHERFUCKERS DIDNT HAVE BOATS. THIS ENTIRE MOVIE IS ABOUT ONE OF THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS AND HIS BOAT

so who was going to tell me that viggo mortensen had a voice role in I love boosters

#not tagging as anything because I don't want people to see this

crashcollateralsuccess

Keke Palmer, Naomi Ackie, Eiza González, Najah Bradley, and Taylour Paige photographed by Pete Lee

pangur-and-grim

his whiskers have gotten so long!

#frozen character #like elsa

background-character-341

For all its faults Tumblr has truly ruined all other social media for me because my friends all have Instagram and are all trying to get me on Instagram more but every time I open Instagram there are like fifteen things screaming for my attention and when I get over myself long enough to start scrolling it's like. Where is my chronological dash. Where is the following-only option. Who are these people. Why are there so many videos. Everyone is screaming at me. And then before I know it I'm thirty minutes into scrolling and I haven't seen a single thing that I actually care about. At least on Tumblr when I see stuff I don't care about I know someone I follow has found a new interest.

#the tag system on instagram... oh boy #if I wanted to look at what got the most traction I would ask for that!#but I don't think I did. and I don't think you're showing me what got the most traction either. I don't know why you're showing me this.

werewolf-transgenderism

irritating as fuck when people get mad at Black people existing in premodern historical fiction/fantasy media. like first of all, you're racist. and second of all, you are acting as though Black people didn't exist in premodern Europe which is simply false. especially when we're talking about the Mediterranean, like what the fuck do you people think is along the southern half of the Mediterranean Ocean?? everyone's on boats, there are GOING to be interactions with Black people in Northern Africa, and there are GOING to be Black people in Mediterranean Europe. stop being stupid. your imagined homogeneous white European past is not historical reality, get over it you massive losers

creekfiend

its so awkward when people ask me why i dropped out and i have to be like "inadequate disability support" bc no one wants to hear this. they're always like i thought they had to provide that though isn't it the law? girl you might want to sit down i have some bad news about the litigation-based enforcement of the americans with disabilities act

then if i do say that theyre like, couldnt you sue? well theoretically maybe but not without spending more money than i have and putting myself through absolute hell. so no. no i can't.