of course i should clean my windows

pfp by @fishbingo

[toasthaste]

no one slaughter me right now ok I'm so flooded with stress hormones the meat would taste terrible

[malewifecombat]

And when we finally kill the gods neither hell nor heaven will be waiting for them because they created those to imprison us

[malewifecombat]

burned my eggs and got mad sorry lol

[lmaonade]

if you’re playing rock paper scissors and you do the same attack you have to kiss

[flowerbleedme]

rock-rock: kiss

paper-paper: high five

scissors-scissors:

[agriculture-lesbian]

um no offense but my body’s made of crushed little stars. and i’m not afraid of anything :/

[detectivehole]

my boyish swag and ladylike charms

[miketon]

a jpeg is like an animal

[gaia-is-here-now]

jpeg

[greelin]

being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. but then there are also the horrors

[hog-kong]

Really confused as to how my logo changed to kermit the frog. Unless im starting to have hallucinations from lack of sleep. Still. mindfucked. 

[galacticgateau]

I found someone’s tumblr logged in on this computer and all I did was change the icon

[bogleech]

dogs will just go "AUGH! AUGH! AUGH!!" at the top of their lungs because they heard any random guy exist outside but a cat at even its most distraught just walks around going "wow. Whoa. Woww."

[keranos-god-of-storm-crows]

Tumblr users will see a post mentioning a day if the week and just fucking black out and reblog it

[imsoglitter]

The autism won today (almost got hit by a car in the library parking lot because I was looking at a cool beetle)

[ash-the-wise]

We all collectively agreed to call it the Byler script but imagine what we actually get is:

[godstiel]

(flight intercom) this is the pilot speaking. yeah we expect todays flight to be normal. um if you look out your window you shouldnt see the skull

[lollytea]

Tumblr should introduce "you have been blocked!" notifications. It would cause nothing but problems but at least it would be funny.

[fullbottles]

i hope the lady running for president of ao3 or whatever says whatever she needs to get in and then just starts banning fandoms she doesn’t like. i hope she merges the tags for naruto and bnha. i hope she starts shadowbanning users for putting too many fandom tags on a single fic. i love censorship and hate nerds

[fullbottles]

with enough votes we can make this happen

[karlmarxbongrip]

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

hyperfixating on pasta is what italians did I think

[zvaigzdelasas]

>did

RIP to the nation ov italy

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

SAD! oh well theres other nations