Theo!!

Random shit post/rant blog bcz idk

[thecherrieo]

Bloodymary….

[lavender-pez]

they have wormed their way into my head

[grabmybush]

ilya rozanov who’s known to boston as the mysterious fuckboy from russia who chirps like he’s getting paid for it and is crazy good at hockey. one day a teammate is absent from a few games in a row and turns back up to practice with a fucking newborn and they’re all in their hockey gear fawning over this tiny baby. then once everyone’s said hi before practice, the crowd parts and ilyas just stood by the doorway, a literal deer in headlights staring at the bundle of blankets in his teammates arms and-

“do you wanna hold him?”

ilya’s moving forward before he can process the words and everyone’s holding their breath as he gathers the newborn into his arms, pausing to take his gloves off first. it’s a few tense seconds before the baby babbles and shifts slightly before tucking his head into the crook of his arm and swiftly falling to sleep.

ilya looks up to see his whole team stifling grins, “i think we’ve found the new babysitter” and he bites back a chirp because he doesn’t want to wake the baby he’s holding so delicately to his chest.

he’s stuck on the sidelines for the whole practice while he rocks the baby through the slams against walls, waving its little arm towards its dad when it eventually wakes up.

and yeah pictures surface soon after of fucking rozanov staring down at the baby in his arms with the fucking softest eyes and twitter has a field day proving he’s a softie at heart

[thesaddesttoothless]

i really wish autism acceptance included autistic people who have traits/symptoms that aren't palatable to the general public. like, yes, you accept the guy who really likes that one show and acts a little awkward sometimes but what about the person who can't understand social cues and asks intrusive questions bcuz they don't understand which things are okay or not okay to say? what about the girl who acts like a child and throws tantrums even though shes 32? what about the guy who brings a stuffed animal with him everywhere and genuinely believes it's a living creature? what about the person who acts "cringy" and "weird" all the time and runs around on all fours? what about the girl who gets really mad and says very mean things without meaning to when she's overstimulated? what about the guy who tells everyone he's the devil and genuinely believes it? what about the person who can't act presentable in public and makes weird jokes a bit too loud?

why do you only accept us when we're quiet and "normal"? if you only accept those of us who are palatable then you don't actually accept autistic people you just want people to think you're a good person.

[thesaddesttoothless]

age regressing to the kid at recess who doesn't understand why nobody wants to play with them

[mushycinna]

Met this person through a friend at a convention and we've been playing games for several hours and have talked consistently, and they're local and I'm so happy bro

[mushycinna]

I have the urge to create but zero energy to commit to the bit

[salaciouscrumbb]

imaging the gay hockey show if they played senior a whale shit hockey instead of pro…*shoresy voice* no one cares what junk you’re sucking as long as you score a goal, hollander!

[mushycinna]

No one talk to me this is litterally perfect

[jesterlesbian]

you have to remember it's always always worse on twitter

[4me2knowandyou2wonder]

Shane was the type of high schooler that would ask the teacher if he could do the group project all by himself.

[thisfeebleheart]

You're secretly one of the funniest guys I know. Well, that secret, you don't have to keep.

[sheheatedonmyrivalry]

hollanov song if ive ever heard one

[geckyjuno]

my bedsheet is pregnant and it's. the rest of my laundry

[shanehollandered]

ilya learns the phrase “calm your tits” and he uses it constantly, endlessly, nobody is safe. shane starts preemptively saying it at some point when he knows ilya is about to crow it at him, that leading them saying it unisono, he’s so annoyed, he snaps at ilya give it a rest finally.

cue ilya learning the phrase “dont have a rack attack” as an alternative, and the first time he uses it on shane, shane goes very still and then beats him with a pillow until ilya is crying tears of laughter

[sheheatedonmyrivalry]

harmless heated rivalry headcanon #3

Ilya loves Uncrustables

[autistobrat]

this too shall pass but the fuck was that for

[fridge-full-of-feels]

I was in a bar this evening that was showing Hot Ones episodes, and I just really need Shane or Ilya on a Hot Ones interview. Let’s be real Shane would probably refuse, but Ilya would be hilarious. I can’t decide if it’s funnier if his Russian ass was dying failing at handling the spicy sauces or if he somehow worked up a tolerance in America and is now a spicy food champ. Tongue on fire while he seriously discusses the Irina Foundation

[luna-azzurra]

Tips for Writing Accents & Languages!

As someone who grew up bilingual and has spent years watching fiction handle this with the grace of a person trying to parallel park a cruise ship: please. i am asking nicely. stop phonetically spelling out accents in dialogue. stop having your multilingual character "think in english." and stop treating languages as cute flavour when they're actually load-bearing walls. let me explain:

⊹ Phonetic accent spelling-- "ze said zis," "I canna doo eet," "ees very 'ot"--does not convey an accent. it conveys that you find the accent hard to read and mildly comedic. actual accents are not misspellings. they are specific music, rhythm, stress patterns, vowel shapes that cannot be represented in text that way. what conveys accent is word order, idiom, the things a speaker reaches for. A character who says "it doesn't matter, leave it" and a character who says "never mind, let it go" are from different places. use that. not the apostrophes.

⊹ Multilingual people do not experience their languages as separate filing cabinets they access one at a time. languages blur and overlap and interfere with each other in beautiful ways. When you're tired you reach for the word from the other language because it's closer. when you're emotional you revert to your first language because it's where your feelings actually live. when you're angry you swear in the language you learned swearing in. when you're tender you use the diminutives and endearments that don't translate. your bilingual character's language choice in every scene is characterisation. use it as such.

⊹ the thing about not having a word for something is real and it matters. Every language has concepts the others can't carry cleanly. the grief for something you never had. the specific quality of afternoon light. the feeling of wanting to be home while you're already there. when your character encounters something their language doesn't have a word for, they don't just find a workaround, they feel the gap. they feel slightly untranslatable. multilingual people live with the knowledge that some part of who they are exists only in one language and cannot be fully brought across.

⊹ Language loss is grief and almost no one writes it. immigrants who stop speaking their first language regularly lose fluency within a generation, not the language itself but the ease of it, the poetry of it, the ability to joke in it. your character might understand everything their grandmother says and be unable to reply with the same grace. they reach for a word and find a hole. they dream in a language they can no longer speak fluently while awake. the untended first language going quiet is a whole kind of mourning and fiction almost never touches it.